(I don't own Inuyasha anything by the way)
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(Sesshomaru)
What is this feeling? My stomach is tight. It hurts. Why is my head buzzing...what is this? Sesshomaru's thoughts jumbled around inside his fever ridden head. He couldn't explain the things he felt inside him. The lord had never experienced a fever before, so he had a hard time distinguishing whether he was humanly ill or actually on fire. It was painful, to say in the least and it scared him to feel so out of control. The fire continued as he tried to cry out. His stomach felt as it it was being ripped apart. And then it hit him, Is it fear I'm feeling, other than this pain? Am I scared? he asked himself. Sesshomaru had never wholly felt fear either. With the thoughts of mortality and fever clouding his mind he became overwhelmed. He struggled to clear the fog from his head, but every so often a word or phrase would find him.
A male voice was the first "-...you're the only demon within a...—" and another voice followed, a female voice.
"...I'm not a... I'm just a girl..."
It was hard for him concentrate enough to break free from the pain and heat that held him. It was like pulling himself from hot tar. If it would have been a physical occurrence it probably would have torn his skin off. He almost wished it was physical so he could hack through it with his sword. He wished many things in his unconscious state but not a single one came true. After what seemed like a decade he felt something give and he was floating. Lost in a less painful blackness, a deeper sleep maybe, but the voices found him once again.
"...he going to make it...?..." the female this time.
"...be weak, but, yeah, he'll recover.." the male responded in an echo-ey voice. And after that he heard nothing more. Am I dreaming? Is this what sleep is like? Were those voices a dream?
Lost in the land between sleep and consciousness, Sesshomaru hadn't felt more alone since the day his father died. He prattled to himself for a good while. The silence of his half unconscious mind left him to himself and when he finally stopped focusing on how uncomfortable he was, he realized how silent it had become.
He stayed in that quiet for a small while and then allowed his mind to wander. What exactly is happening to me...? he asked himself. I...I've never slept before. I don't really need sleep. And I've never been scared before either...did father ever feel this way? His uncertainty made him wish his father wasn't long dead. Secretly, for a long time, Sesshomaru had longed for his father's voice and guidance. It had been a sore ache in his gut for decades. And all of a sudden an small idea blossomed Sesshomaru's mind. It was a shameful idea, one his father would disapprove of, and one his brother would mock him for.
I could die, he thought mistrusting the idea, Just give up...join father...and mother... .I think I want it...maybe. Sesshomaru began weighing the choice in his head. It had been a struggle to pull out of the fevered torment and he knew with a slip of his thoughts, he could return. He let the boiling black heat in the back of his mind ebb forward a little. It almost felt good this time. The warmth seemed to draw his closer. This won't be so unpleasant. I can slip away. I can take my dark hair and short fingernails and go. And this time I won't have to come back.
The sickly lord let the fever take his mind a little farther. He let it ease into a steady crawl and almost liked what he felt. It was warm and Sesshomaru was frightened at first. He'd never wholly given himself to much of anything. It's okay. It's over now. Whatever you are holding onto, let it go, Sesshomaru told himself. He struggled to let the the heat cover him completely. It was something he accepted wholly but only desired partially. Something inside him was holding him and clutched it right back. Emotion... Is that it? Is this emotion? It was like trying to drown himself. All he had to do was breath in and it'd be over. He could feel the heat stutter to a stop as it neared his end.
His pains were invisible to him now. In his blind unconscious mind he told himself that it was time. It was now or never. The boiling heat was like waves lapping at his face, just threatening to cover his nose. Father, Mother, I'm coming. I'll show you what I've become, Father. Mother, I know you'll love Rin as much as I- Sesshomaru stopped thinking. Rin, the name entered his mind. I forgot Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Her image and her name filled his whole being. Every moment they had been together, every memory with her included, filtered into his mind. They blazed by his eyes and in a split second the world was clear.
He sat up and found himself on a cot, clutching his stomach. His eyes flicked over to a wide eyed monk whose arms were covered in blood and then to a teary Rin who had a hold of a handful of his long hair. He threw himself down and into her arms, without a single regard for the blood seeping from his wound. Without a regard for her marked skin, her tan eyes, her hidden tail, or even her pointed ears. He simply didn't care.
"I am so sorry." he choked. And for the first time in his existence, Sesshomaru cried.
(Rin)
"I thought you were dead...I can't loose you... not ever!" Rin said in a trembling voice, burying her face into his hair, "You're my happiness, you know." she whispered. She clutched a handful of his hair and hugged him as close as she could. He shivered and trembled in her arms. His blood stained her fine clothes, but Rin did nothing to move him. And in that position, the young woman and the lord stayed for what seemed like a long while. Only when she felt his grip on her dampen a little did she pull away and grab his wrists.
She moved him to the cot and laid a hand on his cheek. Her hand ended up in his and he watched her as the silent Miroku set back to work. Rin didn't know, at the time that Sesshomaru was admiring her new face. Her yellowy-tan eyes met his and he let a weak smile cross his lips. She smiled back and wiped a tear from her cheek. Rin hadn't seen the dark tan her skin had become. She couldn't have know that two white streaks marked one cheek and her arms. He also admired the single small white dot that was placed right between her brows. She's a demon... she's actually a demon, he thought.
Rin was on the verge of asking Miroku how if she should do something when Sesshomaru's hand tightened around hers and he took a sharp breath. She turned her gaze to Miroku as he pulled the last stitch and ran his hand over him brow, leaving a streak of blood on his forehead.
"I hate to admit it, but I seriously thought you were going to die for a moment there. You're shaking was so violent and the coughing was no better." Miroku said, shaking his head. Rin didn't want to agree with him, but she did. Rin was sure she had lost Sesshomaru. She looked down at him and watched him gingerly touch the line of stitching across his stomach. "I don't know what happened. I could have sworn you were dead." Miroku said scooping his tools into a messy pile. Rin didn't expect Sesshomaru to reply.
But he sighed and mumbled, "Me too."
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Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate it! Review some more!
