LUKAS Temptation

I take Anya's hand into mine and check her pulse. Nothing. I hover over her body and try to remember what we learned in health class the whole c.p.r. lesson. Check pulse is the first thing, but shit, I can't remember the rest. And anyway why am I trying to save her. She's not my girlfriend and I am not into her. That the kind of girl nerds are into. Shit Lukas get back to saving her. I hold her nose and approach her mouth. I wonder if she is faking it just so she could kiss me. As I get closer to her mouth I smell her hair. It smells like peaches. I open her mouth. This is it. My kiss with her. The day I had always dreamed of when I was young. I put my mouth on hers and blow air. I check her heart again, nothing. Shit. I blow more air. Check the pulse. I repeat this ten times and I finally begin to get a pulse or beat or whatever the hell you want to call it. Her eyes flutter but do not open. She's here but not awake. With me. I grab Britney and pull her towards us. "Britney, I could get arrested those vests were shit. They weren't real. Britney I could go to jail. Help." I beg her to help me for twenty minutes as we wait for and ambulance. I feel terrible to just let Anya go like this. I stare deeply into her. Somewhere besides her eyes. She is beautiful, maybe to someone else, not so much to me.

All I am thinking right now is that I need to get the hell out of here or I might get arrested. I tell Britney I have to take a leak and I run into my house. My carpeted floor welcomes me as I run up the stairs. I take of my boxers I wore in the water and get changed to something a lot more suitable for saying I wasn't involved.

But how are they going to buy it. All I could think of is saying that the seedos are hers. But she doesn't have a license so no police or shithead would buy that. Instead I'll say that we were swimming and she started to panic. No way was I getting in trouble for saving some random girl I hardly know.

I walk outside and hear sirens. They are getting closer and closer as Britney sits next to Anya and feeds her words of encouragement. "It's going to be alright An. I promise." Those words were lies. I saw her hit her head and begin to sink. She didn't swim; she couldn't even move the slightest bit.

It isn't my fault. She put it upon herself by letting go.

But why was I even flirting is the first part. I play hockey. I am star player. I don't need to worry about having some wanna-be holding me tight in her arms. I get enough of that already. When I walk in the school all eyes are set on me. Not anything else, the students know that. I get straight A's and I constantly get scholarships from some of my dad's friends. I don't know why Anya doesn't try to get her parents to bribe her into a fake scholarship. They own a damn bar for God's sake.

I went there once. I went with my boy Ryan. We were so excited to have some hot waitress in the suits they wear. Short pink skirts and halter tops with the words PK's bar and pub. That when we saw Anya. She looked, different. But in a hot and sexy kind of way. We asked her why she never dressed like that to school and she answered simply, 'It isn't me'.

Lord if that was her I would be her number one fan. I would always go back to that bar and get with her. That led to the Thursday night. I remember it clearly. I was with Ryan, Phillip, Jake and Georg. When Anya was our waitress again we were totally thrilled, at least Ryan and me. She walked out looking sexier than before. I needed to make a move so I asked her to sit down with us and have a drink. She accepted and chugged it. It was actually pretty awesome. Caren never drank beer. Only cold ice tea low fat. So as time progressed Anya got drunk and her mom Kimberly noticed. Kim said that she isn't of legal age and that she and her friends should leave and sober up. I told Anya she could come to my house. It was Georg Anya and me, all at the table speaking out slurred language. Anya was completely different when the beer was in her system. She turned on the television and danced all night. She pulled us to her and we danced. I let her dance with me, or on me, whichever one, I am not too sure. She was a dancer when she was young, I remember. All day everyday revolved around jazz. Non-stop. She stopped dancing and turned to face me. "Let's get alone, no offence but George isn't as much fun to be with." I totally digged it and ditched George, told him I would be at the beach in five. Anya took my neck and kissed me. She pulled me down onto the couch. On top of her. She let her arms go free and she went into my pants pocket. She pulled them out, what was meant for Caren. The condoms. Her bloodshot eyes widened and she got up, got her stuff and left.

I thought that I would have gotten at least a bit farther. She was so easy. All I had to do was say the word and she would be on top of me in a second. At least I thought.

I regret that night though. I have been trying to change my personality, but since that night, she hardly pays attention to me. That's probably why she freaked when I touched her. I need her to forgive me. I can't have my life be like this anymore. If anything I have done in the past three years gets out, I am dead. And I need Anya to help. She is the only one who can.

Take it or Leave it

I told the cops what happened. The seedo accident part and everything. I figured if I wanted to start over, that this was my chance. I couldn't screw it up on this mistake I made. When the ambulance placed Anya on a stretcher, I asked to ride with them. They figured I was her boyfriend so they let me. I just sit there, next to Anya, petting her hair hoping she won't stop breathing. I hold her hand in mine and pray for her. It is the first time I have prayed since eight grades. Shit I feel gay. These guys are staring at me like I am some sort of freak. They are probably right. I notice Anya's hair is up in a ponytail, it probably hurts her so I decide to take it out. Her long hair hovers over her shoulders as her eyes stay adrift.

I want to put my hand on her, but I don't know where, I don't want to invade her personal space, but I don't want to be far away. I have never made such a big deal about placing my hand on a girl's body. So why now, when all the ambulance members see my hands just flailing in the air like a complete and total idiot.

My hands fall down to my sides and play with the hair tie. I need to keep my focus and remember why I am here. I lean of to Anya one more time and check her pulse. Her heart beats too slowly. Almost as if she is about to...die. I can't let anything happen to her now. I rest my head on her lap and twist her hair between my fingers.

The ambulance comes to an abrupt stop throwing me off balance. "What the hell?" I cursed most of the time to the hospital, worrying about Anya's condition. Her face was even paler than I last remember it. When the ambulance doors finally open, I follow them. I follow them through the waiting room, a dark hall, and elevator, and another hall. One of the men turns around and says, "Kid you ride ended back there. Now go home and wait until this girl can have visitors, we still have to tell him mother." Oh no. Her mother, I take out my cell phone and dial the number Kim gave me in case of an emergency. It rings about four time and I am about to hang up.

"Hello?"

This is it, talk Lukas.

"Uh, hey, uh this is Lukas; I am, uh, your neighbor."

Why am I acting like a fool?

"Yeah, well. Get on with it boy."

"Anya is in the hospital. I thought I should tell you since you are her mom."

Well obviously you are the mom.

"Oh sweetie, what hospital?'

I give her the information and wait for her to come crashing through the doors in her cowboy's boots trying to find her daughter. I sit in the waiting room patiently while I search for Kim. She comes in with her hair in a messy ponytail and sweats and a hoodie. She looks frantic as she sees me.

"Come with my boy. I'm getting my child."

We take the elevator up to where the nurse man told me to go back downstairs. The other nurse men say we cannot be up her, but Kim puts up a fight, "I want to see Anya. I am her foster mom for Pete's sake. Let me see her!"

These words hit me, Foster mom?

Well not everyone is perfect. The nurse man says that he has to check on her and we can visit her in about a half an hour. Kim and I settle down in two seats in the dark hallway.

"Um, Kim?" She looks over and says, "Yes?"

I am nervous to ask but I do anyway, "Why did Anya go into foster care?"

She looks at me curiously and her eyes soften. I am going to be here a while is all her look says. And I will wait forever to hear, although it is none of my business.