All characters © Amano Akira


Excerpt from Seven Times Tsuna Spoke his Mind by Gokudera Hayato

3. The List

The author's note: this happened about two years after the tenth gen. was formed. It was one of Hibari's less thoughtful moments when he made the list, not even considering the notion that his plan could backfire. Ha, that tonfa bastard!

Even at sixteen he was doing his best not to splutter, which seemed to be the Sawada Tsunayoshi Default Reaction to anything new, unknown, or potentially scary. It was a difficult feat at the moment to not even fidget, but he knew that doing otherwise in the presence of Hibari Kyouya would earn him yet another trip to Shamal.

It had been humiliating enough to have been pulled out of class by Hibari himself. Even the teachers, as respectable as they were, seemed to shrivel under that sub-zero glare of his; when Hibari wanted something he always got his way, no questions asked.

Now sitting in the intimidatingly drab lounge of the Disciplinary Committee, Tsuna reached over and took the memo that Hibari was holding out. He frowned questioningly. "You made a list?"

"And I trust that you will take it in your best interest to forget everything on it, Sawada Tsunayoshi," Hibari replied coldly. His voice, more cutting than a November wind, suggested that the alternative wouldn't be pretty.

"But Hibari-san, I really don't remember anything from it!" Tsuna protested, the list flapping around as he gesticulated. "It was a special bullet!" But then again, he considered, he was almost completely lucid under Reborn's Dying Will bullet or the Tomaso's Desperation Bullet, certainly miffed afterward but with complete recollect of his actions.

Hibari seemed to be taking no chances. "I don't care," he said. "Just make sure that everything on that list is conveniently erased from your memory."

Tsuna glanced down at the list. His eyebrows rose. "I really said that you have an 'inferiority complex with Mukuro because he's the only one to ever prove you wrong?' "

"Among other things," Hibari grit out. It was the closest Tsuna had ever seen him to humility, and after realizing so he quickly gathered his thoughts before he was thrown out for dawdling.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, Hibari-san, why do you care so much about what happened? Even going as far as to make this?" Tsuna held up the list. He winced behind it, hoping that he hadn't been out of line with that last comment, and praying to the powers that be that he wouldn't be eating metal in the next few seconds.

Fortunately for him, Hibari was not in a particularly violent mood that day and merely gazed at Tsuna stonily. "I do mind you asking."

"It was a Truth Bullet!" Tsuna said exasperatedly. "Of course I was going to speak my mind!"

"So you really did mean those things." Hibari's eyes narrowed. Tsuna quickly backtracked, sensing danger.

"Well, um, about that...I mean..." He looked up suddenly, and at that moment his brown eyes seemed bright enough to melt the pellucid ice-blue of Hibari's as Tsuna met his gaze. "They were true, weren't they?"

Silence hung in the air for a minute. After exhaling slowly through his nose Hibari noted, "I thought you didn't remember."

"I don't," Tsuna replied. "However," he glanced toward the list, "you just told me in there."

There was a slow, metallic schick as Hibari's tonfa slid out from underneath his coat. Apparently he didn't care for anyone other than him having the upper hand. "You're wasting my time, Sawada Tsunayoshi," he said.

"Hee! Why can't we ever talk like two civilized people, Hibari-san?" Tsuna half-whined, backing his chair up. "Look, I won't repeat anything on this list, and you don't have to hurt me again. Deal?"

With a muffled 'hn' Hibari re-sheathed his tonfa. "Fine."

Tsuna knew he should have left it at that, but he couldn't help but glance at Hibari's list again. "Wow, um, I said a lot," he muttered, leaning over to read more carefully.

When he had finished he looked up at Hibari again. The latter bristled, not liking Sawada's look one bit. "What is it, Sawada Tsunayoshi." It was almost a question.

Tsuna's throat worked and his mouth opened a few times before he could answer. His eyes kept re-reading one part where he had apparently told Hibari that the latter was 'the least mature out of any of them, stubborn, callous, and violent when he didn't get his way, and sulked like a child when something displeased him because he didn't know how to deal with actual feelings.' Ouch. And that wasn't even the worst thing on the list.

"I was...really ranting, wasn't I?" he asked quietly. Hibari reached for his waistband again. He knew that look, because it was one he'd seen on Sawada's face more often than not. It was pity.

"You wouldn't have made a list of this if it wasn't something that was bothering you," Tsuna said.

"Don't try to understand me."

Tsuna looked sad. "Why, because you're a carnivore and I'm just an herbivore who eats grass? Hibari-san...I've known you since I started junior high. You wouldn't have written what I said down if I hadn't hit the mark. One of the things I actually agree on with Reborn these days is that I'm good at reading people."

He handed the list back to Hibari and gave a winsome, melting smile that even made someone as callous as the Head of the Disciplinary Committee momentarily falter. "Don't you think you can trust me by now, Hibari-san?" he asked. "You shouldn't be so ashamed of your weaknesses. In fact, I think it would be good to acknowledge them."

"I will decide whether or not they should be acknowledged, not you," Hibari cut in, establishing that he had control of the situation, like always. Tsuna shook his head. Same old Hibari.

He turned to leave, but before he did he took a Dying Will pill out of the pocket of his Namimori uniform, quickly swallowed it, and used a gentler version of his flames to burn the list until it was no longer legible. Hibari almost stopped him. Almost.

"Those things aren't for me to remember, Hibari-san," Tsuna remarked from the Committee's door. "I've already forgotten them." Hibari tilted his head to the side, allowing his dark hair to shade his cheekbones. He didn't quite understand yet, Tsuna saw, so he said one more thing before leaving.

"It shouldn't have taken a mafia Truth Bullet for this, I don't think. Part of growing up is acknowledging those flaws yourself, and not having someone else do it for you."

And it was only in the night's latest hours that Hibari would reflect on this, not wanting to admit to himself that maybe Sawada Tsunayoshi had been right.

end.