When there's Nothing Left
Chapter 2 ÒTwo of the same soulÓ
It's been three years since I've seen her. And there wasn't a day when I didn't think about her. I surprised myself at the times she would come into my head, but those details certainly don't need to be revealed. And for the past three years, all I've wanted was to wake up to the sound of her voice. Instead, I got the 7:00 morning news.
ÒIt's going to be a beautiful morning followed by a beautiful day here in-Ó I slammed my fist down on the ÔoffÕ button and pulled myself into a sitting position. My new mission starts today, and I fully intend to carry it out. It was a mission I had subconsciously given myself, and one that I must complete. A scanned the room for that particular item I had put in a safe place for a good reason. On the coffee table, right where I left it. It lied untouched. Despite the soreness in my arms from lifting more than my body could handle yesterday, I pushed myself off my bed and staggered towards the coffee table. The newspaper. It wasn't just any newspaper though. The article on the front page is what caught my attention. I had picked up the paper last night when some kid through it through my window. And broke it at that. When I had spotted her face I wanted nothing more than to read the article, but today was when the mission starts, so I decided to read it today.
With shaky fingers, I grasped the newspaper and scanned it with my eyes, afraid of what I was about to read.
It read, ÔVice Foreign Minister Darlian has resigned from her position. The cause of this sudden attitude from her is unknown, but some officials who interviewed the ex-vice foreign minister say that it is because of personal issues. The press is doing everything they can to figure out why Miss Darlian is throwing away her career.Õ Below there was a picture of Relena. I unconsciously traced my fingers over her face, wishing she was here right now. She looked miserable in that photo. The darkness under her eyes was noticeable and her smile was defiately fake. I could tell a fake smile from a real one. Still, she was the most beautiful thing I ever laid eyes on.
I myself couldn't help wondering why she had resigned from her position. It was, I say, completely out of character for someone like Relena. I glanced at the photo again, and I saw that look in her eyes. The same look I had seen so many times. When she stared up at me through my gundam, the look in her eyes when I came to rescue her from the battle ship Libra, and most of all, the look she gave me, that faithful night when we had our first and last dance.
Heero sprung into full attention when he heard the doorknob of his room being turned. He cursed himself for not locking it, but he never thought anyone would bother coming in his room. He had no friends and hardly brought any attention to himself. Then he heard her voice.
ÒAre you off to fight again, Heero?Ó He spun around, he reflexes reaching for his gun under his jacket, and aimed straight at her. He said nothing, because he had no idea what she wanted.
ÒI met Doctor J.Ó Relena said calmly. Heero let a slight gasp escape his throat. He knew what that meant. Relena knew his secret.
ÒYou're surprised, aren't you? Strange, every time I talk to you, it keeps being me who is getting surprised by you.Ó Relena said. Heero was shocked at her tone. It was so calm and his gun was pointed right at her. She took a step towards him. Heero stayed in place, but cocked his gun at her neck. She wasn't startled one bit.
ÒIf you got rid of me now it would cause quite a commotion. I don't think that's what you really want.Ó Relena told him, eyeing him suspiciously. Heero's expression didn't change. He wasn't letting her play these games with him.
ÒThe school is holding a party right now. You might as well stay and enjoy it.Ó She said softly, and turned her head a bit, ÒAt least until the dance is over.Ó Heero knew what she was suggesting. He decided the best thing to do was go along with it. After all, he wanted to look like a normal student to all the other pupils. Besides, he couldn't risk Relena telling anyone who he really was. If one dance would keep her quiet, that's what he would do.
Heero tucked his gun in his back pocket, and covered it with his jacket. He slowly put out his hand to her, she took it, and he escorted her downstairs and to the dance floor.
Heero had taken some dance classes at the school, and at least knew what he was doing. Relena however, was an excellent dancer until the point where she was leading him. She didn't seem to mind though, her eyes were closed and there was a slight smile on her face. Heero kept his eyes open, mostly because he was afraid he would bump into someone. He tried to keep from looking at his feet, and focused on Relena. Finally, she broke the silence.
ÒHeero, I know too much about you, are you still gonna kill me?Ó She asked, referring to an earlier threat he had made to her. Heero, slightly amused but keeping his dead serious expression, looked her in the eyes. It was the first time they had really looked each other in the eyes. Heero felt himself drowning in her sparkling sea-blue eyes, which seemed to melt him down with her expression. With the expression of love. Heero stared back, never losing eye contact.
ÒYeah.Ó
After a while of staring at her picture, my eyes wandered to the flashing red light on my answering machine. Strange, I hadn't left my house in a week, and I never heard the phone ring. I reached over and hit the flashing button.
ÒHeero Yuy, meet me at the park a block from your apartment. Be there 11:00 sharp.Ó Such a simple message. Yet, something struck me. My eyes shot wide open. I felt my hands shake and my knees go weak. It wasn't what this message was telling me, it was the voice it was telling me in. That was my voice.
I stood in the shower, letting the hot water relieve me from my shock. I was still trembling. ÔWhat in the world is going on?Õ I thought. I was sure that had been my voice. No one knew where I lived but me. No one around here knew my name but me. And no one has my voice. I had never heard such coldness. The coldness that came from my throat. It wasn't until then I realized how cold I sounded. My own voice had frightened me. It was so monotone, and filled with hate. I tried to clear my mind, but all I could think about was that voice and those words.
I stared down at my watch which was still left on my wrist. I hadn't taken anything off when I got into the shower. It was 10:45. Fifteen minutes to find out what was going on. I scrambled out of the shower and pulled off my soaked clothes, tossing them aside to be put away later. I dried myself with a towel as I walked towards my dresser. At the bottom drawer lied my gun. Whoever this prankster was, he wasn't going to get a nice greeting for scaring me. I put on whatever was lying around, grabbed my keys off the counter and left.
It took me no more than five or six minutes to get to the park at the pace I was walking. Although not as scared, there was a burning feeling in my gut, an anxious feeling. I wanted to know who this man was, what he wanted, and how he found me. I hadn't had real contact with a human being since the end of the war, exactly three years ago. This was too sudden for me, and I wasn't going to take it lightly.
I expected the park to be crowded with kids feeding ducks, playing soccer, laughing, screaming, making my life miserable, but all I saw was a single figure sitting on one bench in the park. I assumed this was the man I was meeting, since he kept glancing at his watch.
My hand pressed tightly on the gun in the inside pocket of my jacket, I approached a bench at the park, where the young man was sitting. I inhaled. He was turned around, reading a book in his lap. One leg was draped over the other, covered by tight blue jeans. He was wearing a white T-shirt, practically skin tight, with blue sleeves. The man had a cap on, and sunglasses, but from what I could see, we were identical.
I didn't have to stand there long for the man to notice me. He looked up, studied me, and closed his book. I couldn't say anything. I was completely frozen. Not only did this man have the same voice as me, he looked like me too. He grinned and lifted up his glasses. I gasped softly at his eyes. His dark, prussian blue eyes. They were like ice. They were the only eyes I've seen besides mine, at least I think so..
ÒHeero, glad you came.Ó Was all he said. He didn't put his hand out to shake as I thought he would.
ÒI don't shake hands often.Ó He told me, still grinning. I shivered. How did he know I was thinking that? Probably just because it's polite to shake hands. Just a coincidence. There was also that coincidence that I never shook hands either.
ÒHow do you-Ó
ÒKnow your name?Ó The man asked me, raising an eyebrow. I nodded wordlessly. He seemed to be reading my thoughts.
ÒI don't really know your name, since that's not really your name now, is it?Ó He asked. I shook my head, but cursed myself for it. Why was I telling him this? Who did this guy think he was?
ÒYou don't have a name, Heero Yuy. Your mother died before she could name you.Ó The words struck me like an arrow. No one ever said the word ÒmotherÓ in my presence, especially when referring o my own mother. As far as I knew I didn't have a mother, or a name, and this guy seemed to know all of that and more.
ÒShut up!Ó I screamed. I had never been so mad, so confused.
ÒYou're yelling at yourself, Yuy. Now just think how bad you make the people around you feel.Ó
ÒWha-Ó
ÒMy name is Jeht.Ó He said suddenly. I didn't know what to say. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, and wanting to yell at him, and he was telling me his name.
ÒHow do you...h- how do you know about my mother?Ó I asked. I myself didn't know a thing about my mother. For all I knew I just appeared in this world as a use for a war.
ÒIt's not my real name of course.Ó Jeht continued, completely ignoring what I had asked him, ÒBut I don't have a real name, and you do need something to call me. Jeht was your father's name.Ó All of this was coming way too fast for me. I didn't believe a word this man was telling me, so I did the only thing I could think of doing. I pulled out my gun. Jeht showed no sign of being afraid. He just stared at the barrel of my gun, and he grinned.
ÒYou'll regret it. Because I won't go away.Ó I did feel a tinge of regret, since this man may have actually known something about my past, but we looked the same age. I came to a decision, he was a punk who was playing a trick on me.
ÒStop toying with my thoughts.Ó I growled. He smirked.
ÒI'm telling you, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Oh, wait, I am you.Ó That was it. I'd had it with this guy. With a slight growl of anger and I pulled the trigger. The last thing I saw was Jeht's grinning face before I saw flashes of red. Great pain struck my chest and I fell over, trying to breath. It felt like I had shot myself. Yes. What I felt was defiantly a bullet. I forced myself to focus on Jeht. I could see him between the flashes of red that were criss-crossing in front of my eyes. There was nothing on him. There was no blood, no wound, and he was still grinning. I let out a horrified cry as my whole body began to sting. Memories flashed before me, the one's I wanted to forget. They came back to me.
The young boy watched the base go up in flames, and heard the cries of the people inside the base. The yelling stopped once the base exploded in a mix of dazzling colors that danced in front of the boy's eyes as he watched, no expression on his face. His tiny hand shook as he grasped the detonator.
ÒWh- what did I do?Ó He asked, with that boy-like innocence that he no longer had. Scared, and alone, he walked away from the scene. He walked away from the scene of dead bodies, and the inferno. Little did he know, he'd be seeing a lot more of the same scene.
The boy reached the camping spot where he and Odin had lived for the past, was it five years? There was a pot by the fire, it was tipped over and had spilled out it's contents; the last remaining food. The boy looked over at Odin's bag. It was patched up, blood stained, burnt, it had been through a lot. Just like Odin and him. The stared at the bag remembering what Odin had said to him. To complete his mission in life. The boy decided to take his place. He crept over to the bag and knelt down beside it. His hand which was not occupied by the detonator grasped the zipper on the bag, and slowly zipped it open. On top of the mound of junk that was in the bag, was a large green tank top. No tags, no seams, just a plain green tank top. The boy hesitated and picked it up.
He must had been walking for hours in he rain, not passing by anyone or anything. No one was around. The boy hung his head low, letting the rain spill over his bangs and cover his eyes, which were full of despair. He heard sudden shuffling, and looked up, eyes widening. He had wandered into a dark alley, and an old man was sitting behind a trash can, staring at the boy.
ÒI've been waiting for you, boy.Ó He said. His voice wasn't scary, but it was odd, and he had a bit of an accent. The boy, frightened, jumped back.
ÒD-dare desu ka?Ó He trembled. The old man raised an eyebrow.
ÒWatakushino namae wa Dr. J desu.Ó The old man said. The boy shivered.
ÒNihongo ga dekimasu ka?Ó The boy asked weakly. The man laughed.
ÒHai!Ó He yelled. The boy looked down. The man smiled.
ÒOname wa?Ó He asked politely. The boy looked up, a bit confused, his eyes saddened. He couldn't tell the man he didn't have a name. Then he would feel sorry for him and ask him too many questions. The boy didn't want that, or so that's what he told himself.
ÒWatakushi no namae wa Lowe desu. Odin Lowe.Ó He said softly, ÒI was..named after my father.Ó It was a lie. Odin wasn't his father, but sometimes he had wished he was. Dr. J smiled at the boy's sudden change of language. He must have been feeling less scared. He had learned when a child is scared they usually use their first language, and the boy looked slightly japanese.
ÒI see. It's pretty cold out here. Where is your mother?Ó Dr. J asked. The boy felt that burning his eyes again, and became uneasy.
ÒKesshito kimasen..Ó He trembled. Dr. J understood. He had no mother.
ÒOdin, where's your father?Ó
ÒHe's dead.Ó The child then became very aware that he had just told this man he had no parents. Dr. J seemed to be thinking about something. The boy broke the silence.
ÒWhat did you mean? Y-you were waiting for me?Ó Dr. J looked up. His eyes were intense.
ÒI like the look in your eyes, do you wanna pilot a gundam?Ó The boy just stared at man. He had never heard of gundam before, he he knew what piloting was. Odin had piloted mobile suits sometimes. Maybe a gundam was a mobile suit. The boy closed his eyes, remembering Odin say, ÔAlways act on your emotions.Õ He dropped the detonator that he had been holding all that time.
ÒSure.Ó
When I woke up I heard beeping. Ah, the hospital scenario. Wasn't my first time of coarse, but defiantly the most confusing. The second thing I realized was that I was in a lot of pain. A sharp pain in my chest that traveled all the way down to my lower stomach and up my arms. I decided not to try and move. That would only result in me screaming for pain and attracting a lot of attention . Instead I tried to open my eyes. I prepared myself for the blurry vision and the extreme headache that always came after long periods of faint. I wondered who had found me. Whoever they were they had found me with a gun in my hand and a bullet wound in my chest. The combination wasn't pretty. I guessed I'd probably be locked up for awhile. It made no difference, unless they put me in a mental home. That's what they would do in the situation where a man shoots himself. The thought brought Jeht back into my mind.
ÒOhh..Ó I moaned as I remembered aiming my gun at him, pulling the trigger, and the bullet ending up in my chest. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. Completely frustrated with my own confusion, I waited until the throbbing pain in my head went away. When I thought it was all right, I opened my eyes again. Just as I had expected, there he was. Standing in front of my hospital bed, his hands on his hips, grinning. Did he ever stop grinning? He saw the expression on my face and nearly laughed.
ÒI told you, you shouldn't of done that. But it's not like you do what your mind tells you anyway.Ó Jeht sneered. I thought hard about what he had just said. Was he saying he was my mind? That couldn't be the case. I would have to be going insane. Besides, this guy did look like me, but there were some things about us that were different. For one, he had less muscle on him, and was more skinny. His hair was shorter and looked cleaner, and he was always smiling. Something I didn't often do.
ÒWho are you?Ó I didn't remember if I'd asked him that before, my head hurt too bad to remember anything.
ÒI'm your alter ego.Ó He laughed. That's it. I was going insane.
ÒWhat do you mean?Ó I asked angrily, my teeth clenched because of the pain in my chest that he had caused.
ÒRelena's was looking for you. All I did was help her find you.Ó He said. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. What did he just say? I opened my mouth to say something but the I heard the doorknob turn.
ÒOops, no time to explain now. See ya later Heero.Ó Jeht said. He gave me a wave and then before I realized what was going on, he disappeared. I blinked and and rubbed my eyes. Must be the medicine they're giving me, but he said something about Relena.
ÒHeero?Ó That voice. My head jerked towards the doorway. She was there. My one true love was standing at the door frame. Her eyes were red and wet. Had she been crying? I was about to ask her what was wrong but then realized I had been shot in the chest. We continued to stare at each other for a moment. I was completely in awe. She had defiantly matured in looks over the past three years. She had cut her hair so it only went a bit past her shoulders. She had also grown her bangs out, loosing the teenager look. She looked like an adult. Standing there formally, wearing one of those suit/dress combinations and high heels. And here I was in a hospital gown.
ÒWhat are you doing here?Ó Was all I could say. I had no idea how she found me, or how she found out I was shot.
ÒI was coming to visit , and I found you...Ó Her voice trailed off.
ÒYou thought I was dead.Ó I plainly stated. She looked at me, her eyes filling with tears. More tears to stain her cheeks. I didn't want that. We hadn't seen each other in three years and I didn't want to it to start out with her crying.
ÒI'm sorry I worried you.Ó I said softly. I remembered how my voice had sounded earlier and I didn't want it to sound like that for her. She smiled sweetly. I felt my heart jump. I had to change the subject, and fast, or I would end up telling her how I felt about her.
ÒHow did you know where I was?Ó I asked softly. Relena's expression turned a bit confused, and then she looked at me, her eyes deep.
ÒYou told me in my dreams.Ó
TBC
