Toby's POV
Right after I left Caleb, I went into my car. Before I started the car I get my phone from my back pocket and dialed her number
after 2 rings she picks up
"Hello?"
"Hey" I said
"T-Toby?"
"Hey Spencer, can you please meet me and the horse barn please?" I closed my eyes in hoping she said yes.
"Hello?" I said again. It was quiet then I hear a voice faintly in the background and I couldn't tell who it was
"Go Spencer" the voice said "You have to talk to him or you will feel like this forever" they said again. "okay, okay" Spencer said
"Toby?"
"Yes, Spencer are you still coming?" I asked again
"yes, I'm coming, I'll be there shortly" she sighs and hangs up before I got a chance to say anything. I smiled, I start the car and headed to our spot.
Spencer's POV
I sighed as soon as I hung up the phone and looked at Emily
"Well" she shrugged "Are you going?" she asked
"You're right, I have to tell him how I feel, I hate bottling it up inside and it makes me depressed" I said getting up and slip on my Adidas and grabbed sweater
"You going dressed like that" she said looking at my sweatpants gray shirt and blue hoodie
"I don't feel dressing classy, mom" I joked
"Aw there's that smile" she poked me
"okay, okay, I gotta go" I laughed "Wish me luck. Tell Alison I said bye and kiss the girls for me" I said opening the door
"of course, good luck" she said closing it behind me
I sighed and got into my car. I turned it on, put on my seat belt and turned the radio and 'What about us' by P!NK was on.
'What about us? What about all the times you said you had the answers?'
'What about us? What about all the broken happy ever after?'
I quickly turned it off. I really don't want Toby in my head, it's bad enough I agreed to meet with him.
It didn't take me that long to get there, and I guess I got there a little early because he isnt here yet. I got out my car and I sat on the ground with my back against the rock and waited.
about five minutes later I hear a car pulling up. Must be him. I hear the car door open and closed
"Spencer?" he shouts out
"I'm here" I said standing up, looking at the ground
it was quiet for a few seconds
"Hey Spencer"
"Why did you call me here Toby?" I said turning around, looking at this so called perfect town and sat down the ground
"Why have you been avoiding me, I haven't seen you since the wedding" he said
"Well I didn't feel like speaking to you, after everything that happened" I said hanging my head down
"You know what happened with Alex wasn't your-
"Its not just about Alex Toby" I snapped looking at him "it's about every single thing that happened with you and me since-s-since the p-pregnancy s-s-scare" my voice cracks and I begin to tear up but i quickly wiped the tears off and cleared my throat
"Spencer" he said coming up to me and wrapping his arms around my body and bringing me closer to him
"After everything that has happened, it made me realize how much I love you" he says softly
"Toby don't" I said getting out of his hold and crossed my arms over my chest
"I want to be back together again" he says
"Do you really think it's a good idea to be back together Toby, especially with you considering the fact you were married and was raped twice" I spat
"it took me a while to move on, but I did and I now want to be with you" he shrugs
"Oh now you want to be with me, boy that makes me feel so special" I rolled my eyes
"okay what is your problem" he shouts
"YOURE THE PROBLEM. YOU BEEN THE PROBLEM SINCE YOU LEFT ME AFTER THE SCAR TOBY' I screamed making him jump
"I dont understan-
" You wanna know the truth, I hate you, i hated you the moment YOU walk out that door leaving me alone to mourn by myself.
"Youre the one who said that you didn't ever wanted to start a life with me, I did was best and left" he argues
"No I didnt say that. I said that I didn't want to start something so huge WHILE being in college, because I didn't want to juggle studying, homework and a baby all at once. I couldnt barley balance my schedule in school. I wanted to wait until after I was done. That's why I said AT LEAST NOT NOW. NOT EVER BUT NOT NOW" I said coming closer "but you" I said pushing him "ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT YOURSELF, DIDN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT HOW I FELT AND THEN LEFT" I continued screaming
"You-You didn't ever want to break up" he chokes
"No you buffoon, you only had to wait 2 more years, but you couldn't help yourself" I stopped screaming and breathed in and out
" of course deep down inside I loved you, that's why I was happy to come back to Rosewood to see what could happen" I said looking into his first for the first time
'What changed?" he asked
"You know what changed Toby, don't be dumb" I scoffed "yeah I dated Caleb for a while, but I still was in love with you." I closed my eyes "The moment i saw the ring on Yvonnes's finger, all those feelings I had for you were gone. I stopped loving you. stopped loving you as a lover, stopped loving you as a friend. but there was still a tiny bit of me hoping there would be a chance." I said turning around and sitting on the rocks and he sat beside me
"When you came to my barn that night, and you said You built that house for me, I was like 'oh boy maybe there could be a chance' I was wrong. Then you said I cant live my life without her, so we are going to Maine and start a family" I sniffle. I looked at him and his head was down and I saw tears falling " I completely stopped loving you right there, I didn't want anything to do with you, in fact I was glad you were leaving that way I didn't have to see your face ever again or said goodbye to you" i cried
"So you really did avoid me, you never came to say goodbye, you were too ashamed of me" he said putting the pieces together
"yah, and besides I was with Marco the entire time, he had brought me dinner. I actually did like Marco, but I knew that wasn't going to last"
"what about the time you came to the hospital to see me? Was that you or Alex" he ask still having his head down
"That was me, and I didn't come because I cared. I mean I did a little but it wasn't the main reason. The game board said that if I didn't go to see you then I wouldn't get the letter Mary had left me. I needed that letter so I can read what happened between her and my dad and why I was taken away from her. I still didn't want to see your face" I said
"Too many things happened, I couldn't deal with it anymore."
He put his hands on his head "then after finding out from Emily you eloped then Yvonne died, I couldn't be with you ever again, cause it's just going to make me feel like Im second choice, because you settled for her and not me
"Spencer you aren't second choice"
"Yes I am okay, and I don't want to be that which is why I don't want to be with you, to you and probably our friends might not think that way but others will. 'oh poor Spencer, being someone's second choice because his wife died, i'd hate to be her" I mocked
"So what now, that's it, there will never be an us" Toby says looking at me
my lips quivered and i shook my head "Things will never be the same, I don't love you the way I used to. its all changed" i cried
"No please dont say that" he said getting onto his knees and hugging my legs "Please don't let this be the very end" he sobs
"It already has been the end Toby" I said trying to pry him off but he holds me even tighter, not letting go
"Out of everyone, I never thought you be the one to hurt me emotionally and mentally like you did, I thought you be the one to never , ever hurt me" I cried
"I-I cant lose you, please don't go, stay with me, i'm so so so so sorry" he says crying into my legs He leaves trials of kissing from my legs, to my stomach, to both my arms, to my neck to my face, my cheeks, my forehead my nose. He looked at me and I looked at him and he kisses me on the lips. I stayed there for a second and realized what I did and pulled away "Would you just stop?" I panicked
"please Spencer, I love you" he says
"I know you do" I said pulling away and sitting back on the ground facing the town " I need time" I said getting comfortable. He goes and sits against the tree that was next to it
"You don't need to be here, I can be on my own, I've been doing a great job for the last 5 years" I said out loud, but he didnt move. He stayed right there. Ignored him and looked at the haunted town
Toby's POV
I felt so broken inside hearing what Spencer said. Not only that, I realised I'm such a monster. What I did to her. I feel so guilty. Nothing I say or do can ever make her forgive me. I do still love her. I love her with all my heart. Even though she doesnt...love me anymore. I already lost my mom, Yvonne. I can't lose Spencer. She's so important to me. Spencer' knows I will do everything and anything for her. I take a bullet straight through my brain. What if I never left that day she had the pregnancy
What could have happened:
"How much time?" I asked stirring the coffee
"3 minutes, that's what it said on the back" she said sitting on the bed
"so what's going to happen, what are we going to do" I asked nervously
"Toby, I'm a sophomore. I can barley manage to juggle exams and homework, please don't be difficult" she said sadly
"Im sorry Im not trying to be. I picture a life for us, but we aren't looking at the same picture anymore" I said
"We are Toby, I just want to start after college, that way I won't have so much" she reasons with me. The timer goes off and she goes to the bathroom then comes back out
"SO" I asked standing up
"It's negative" she said. I breathed a relief. Though I wanted a baby, Spencer is right. it's too much to handle a baby now. We can wait until after she's done. I go and hug her
"I can wait, as long as I'm with you" I said hugging her"
"I'm so glad to hear that, lets wait" she smiled
- end of daydream
If I had stayed, we could've had everything. A home together, us being married for 5 years and a month, and of course, our child. Sadly, we dont get what we want..well Spencer didnt. I looked over at her and saw that she was asleep and shivering. I go to her and I sit next to her. I took off my heavy sweater and put it on her so she won't be cold. I wrapped my arm around her and pull her close. I won't ever stop loving her.
ring ring
I checked my phone and saw that Caleb is calling
"Hello?" I whispered
"Hey how's everything, did everything go well" he asked
I tear up again and shook my head "No, she doesn't want to be with me anymore, she doesn't love me anymore" I said looking down on her. She was still sleeping. Still beautiful as ever. I placed a kiss on her forhead
"Oh dude, Im so sorry" he apologizes " What are you going to do now?"
"I'm still going to fight for her. She can't get rid of me, if she does, it's only going to make her love even more and fight harder" I said
"Where are you guys?"
"We are still at the lookout"
"Dude, its been 4 hours, and you're still there?"
"Has it really been 4 hours?" I asked
"Yeah man, you left around 8 pm its now tomorrow" he laughs "You know this is partially your fault too Spencer is this way" I spat
"I know, and I will never forgive myself. Hanna and I are trying our way to make it up to her, especially Hanna"
"Well I hope you guys do. I have to go now. I'll talk with you later" I said then hung up. I yawned and stretched out while still holding Spencer.
I looked at the town. This town is full of monsters and traitors. But the view is so beautiful. Just like Spencer.
It starts getting really cold, so I carefully removed myself from Spencer and went into my truck and took out 6 blankets and 3 pillows. I keep them in there when I need space and leave. If Spencer finds out I still run away, she's gonna hate me more than she does know. I closed and locked the trunk and made my way back to Spencer. I put three blankets on the bottom as a bed. I picked Spencer up and laid her on top of it and put myself on it as well. I took off her shoes and mine. Next I took the other three and laid it on top of us. Lastly I got the pillows. I laid my head on one and gave two to Spencer because she loves to sleep with two pillows. Though it was freezing outside. this can make us warm.
the next morning
Spencer's POV
Why do I feel so warm? I woke up and realized that I was covered by blankets. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and looked at my surrounding. I was still at the lookout point. I looked down to my right and see Toby back facing me.
He's still here was well? Will he ever give up and let me move on? I guess not.
He does look cute sleeping. He always did. It was one of the things I loved about him.
"Toby?" I said waking him up
"mmhmm" he groans
"wake up, we fell asleep" I said. He then wakes up,and sits up and rubbed his eyes
I get up and he does as well. I fold up the blankets.
"I got that" he says taking it away from me. I grab the pillows and we head to his truck and put it in there
"Well" he says
"Well what?" I asked
'What about us Spencer" he asked. I gave him a sad smile and looked down
"I can't sorry. I'm no ones second choice, plus for now I want just want to be by myself, and focus on what I want." I said
"oh" he sighs as he gets into his truck
"can we at least be friends?" he asked
I thought about this. Maybe we can still be friends, i guess
"Sure" i said giving him a small smile
he reaches to kiss my on the corner of my mouth
"I love you and I won't stop fighting for you" he says
"Goodbye Toby" I said heading into my car and buckling up. I watched as he pulled out and drove away.
I start my car and head home, to start a new life of just being me.
