Men In Suits

A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill

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Two: Men Of Domino

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Honda was shocked. "You really want to steal someone else's money?"

I squirmed nervously under Honda's disapproving glare. He always was a better person than me. "Well...yes." I cringed for the upcoming verbal strike.

And strike he did. "The hell is wrong with you, Jou? What can possibly be morally correct about stealing someone else's money?"

"Think of it this way," I tried, "Those capitalist pigs have so much that they don't need what we'll be taking from them."

I thought for a second that Honda was going to throw a punch. "Stealing is the pussy's way out, Jou. Whatever happened to pulling yourself up by the bootstraps?"

"Honda..." I groaned. I didn't need a wall of morality to crash down on my dreams of Yuuki...Money! I said money! If you say different, I'll kick your ass.

"Forget it, Jou. I can't respect men who steal."

"Oh come on," I pleaded. "It's just like when you were a kid and you stole a candy bar from the grocery store."

"I never stole candy when I was a kid. I saved up my allowance and bought it." Honda folded his arms across his chest and looked at me sternly, trying to prove that his own wall of morality would never crack.

"Honda, please," I begged.

"What do you need ME for, anyway? You know that I would never approve of stealing." Ah, the cop-out. Honda was cracking. I knew he would.

"Listen, Otogi's in on this, right?"

"Right."

"Remember how he tried to get me in the sack at Yuugi's party?"

Honda had to giggle a bit. "Oh man, all I can really remember is how you turned him down. Funny as hell."

Normally I would have tackled Honda and socked him until he took it back, but I needed him. "Yeah, well, take that situation, minus Yuugi being there as an anti-fucking catalyst, minus you to back me up. Do you want a roommate who was groped by Otogi Ryuuji?"

Honda thought about that for a moment, and smirked. "I'll have something to laugh about every night."

"Honda!" I shook my fist at him dangerously. "What kind of a friend are you? Aren't you supposed to look out for me, or something?"

"Okay, okay!" Honda held up his hands in defeat, laughing. "Fine. I'll do it. But I'm not touching that dirty money. I'll give it to charity or something."

No, you won't, Honda. I know you much better than that. You'll toss it off the top of Kaiba Corp's building.

He's crazy like that.

----

Honda adjusted my tie carefully. "Jesus, Jou, don't you know how to wear a goddamn suit?"

"No." I never had to wear one.

We both played it simple. Black coats, black pants, white shirts, black ties. Hopefully, the other men didn't wear anything extravagantly fancy. We'd look awful compared to them.

"Quick question, Jou." Honda was examining himself carefully in the mirror.

"Shoot."

"How the hell are we going to get there? I'm not letting you on my bike, and you never bothered to get a car."

Karma liked us at that moment. Someone rapped smartly at the door.

"Can you get that, Jou?" Honda called. "I'm kind of busy."

Busy making yourself look pretty for Otogi, no doubt.

I shuffled to the door, trying to prevent the tie from strangling me. I threw it open, praying for whoever it was's sake that it was something important. "Kaiba? The hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick you up, baka." He pushed past me and made his way into my (okay, Honda's) home.

"How the hell did you get this address?"

"I can get whatever the fuck I want, inu. Now tell Pencil-Head to hurry the fuck up so we can actually get there on time."

I nodded, still in shock at the concept of Kaiba being in my home. Granted, he never met my drunkard father, but it was still shocking nonetheless. I stuck my head in the small hallway and shouted, "Oi! Honda! Hurry it up, Qwerty's here to give us a ride!" [A/N: Doesn't sound like it makes much sense, but QWERTY is the name for the standard computer keyboard format. Why, you ask? Because the first six letters of the first alphabetical row spells "qwerty". Honda and Jou thought they were clever by calling Kaiba a computer geek.]

Honda stuck his head out of his room. "Qwerty? He's here?"

Kaiba arched a brow. "Qwerty?"

"Don't ask." Kaiba's hand began to touch my tie. I slapped it away. "Excuse me? The hell do you think you're doing?"

"Your tie's all wrong."

"It's supposed to be that way." Awful save, Jou.

Kaiba only smirked and looked away. "It's okay. It doesn't matter...you're not an essential part of the heist, anyway."

"Kaiba, I think you need to see a shrink or something about your self-esteem issues."

"Did that make you feel clever?"

Honda walked in to see two old enemies on the brink of throwing blows. "Hey, guys?" his voice broke in, forcing me to stop thinking about how much I hated that damn rich boy. "Let's go."

----

It was a black tie affair.

Not really. But every single man was wearing a simple suit, much like Honda's and mine. Even Kaiba and Otogi didn't show off their obscene wealth. Shocking.

Honda and I claimed our corner of the dining hall, downing every alcoholic drink that came within a twenty-five foot radius of us. Honda had the amazing ability to keep his alcohol (he's beaten me at every drinking game that's on the face of this planet). Unfortunately, I do not.

The moment I started seeing stars and blurry people, Honda cut me off. I wanted to behave like a stereotypical drunk and punch him out, but booze has this really funny habit of making sure that you can't so anything right. So as I swung at a blur of brown and black, Honda took my drunken state to his advantage and placed me firmly down at the nearest table.

I just love how wonderfully selective Honda unknowingly is.

Yuuki turned away from the person he had been talking to, and looked at me with a mix of concern and humor. "Jou? Are you okay?"

I blushed furiously, either from the alcohol or from embarrassment. "I'm...fine. R-really..." I noticed that I was starting to slur my words. How embarrassing.

Even my drunken vision could see the smirk growing on Yuuki's face. "I'm thinking you've had one too many?" Gods. His curly blond hair seemed to fall perfectly in place over his forehead. The suit was throw carelessly on his thin frame, and it worked. His amazing hands fell in place on the table, still covered in silver rings. But I swear I wasn't thinking that, because last I checked, I am straight. (Right?)

The person whom Yuuki was talking to earlier examined me closely, pushing the glasses higher upon his face and brushing his long dreads back. If memory served me right, he was Sota. "Perhaps Honda-san should take you home, Jounouchi-san."

"No!" I said almost too quickly. "I'm fine, really..."

Sota shook his head furiously, and his dreads flew around everywhere. "You should not drive home in this condition, Jounouchi-san."

"Oh, don't worry about that," I said, not bothering to watch my words. "I don't even have a car --"

"Oh, so Jou's a mutt and he's poor." I choked on last sentence as Kaiba sat down next to me. He pulled out another pack of his expensive, foreign cigarettes that don't have filters. Once again, disgusting.

I growled audibly as Honda shot back, "Don't know why it's any of your business, Kaiba."

Kaiba only blew his smoke in our faces (causing us both to cough violently and attempt to get that horrible taste out of our mouths), and replied, "If you're going to announce to the world that you're worthless, then it becomes everyone's business."

Honda and I both glared daggers (Honda's were more effective because I was very close to sloppy drunk) as Yuuki giggled softly. Sota only grinned and adjusted his glasses. This continued for another uncomfortable two minutes as Kaiba relished his cancer stick and intentionally blew the smoke in our faces every now and then. Yuuki finally broke the silence with, "Kaiba, I don't smoke. Would you --?"

Kaiba glared right across the table, hoping to break Yuuki with ice. Didn't work. Yuuki only smiled right back, though his eyes showed he was ready for a challenge. Kaiba put it out reluctantly.

Honda spoke. "So, what's the purpose of this meeting? To discuss the --"

Sota's long arm shot across the table and his hand went right over Honda's mouth. "Are you stupid?" he hissed as I was frozen in shock by his sudden movement. "We're not discussing it in such an open place. Feds could be spying on us."

"So what's the purpose?" I had to ask.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Obviously, make inu, any important information will be passed to those who need it. Messages for hackers will go to hackers. And so on."

"Oh." So as a "lock picker" there was no purpose for me to be there. How impressive. Honda wasn't going to stay in this, that was for sure.

Yuuki smiled warmly, sensing my irritation. "But there isn't that much that needs to be cleared up at this point, so most of us just think of it as a get-together before the operation begins."

Fine. So Honda and I are stuck in a dining hall full of men in suits for a few hours, and I can't even drink. (Honda and Yuuki both promised to go to any lengths necessary to prevent me from touching anything other than water.) How wonderful.

----

An hour and a half into the event, I was bored. I shifted constantly, hummed a tune to myself, tapped my fork against my water glass, until Honda yelled at me to stop.

So I sat there, my head slipping off my palm every now and then, and I made sure that everyone knew that I was beyond bored. Even the DJ was playing boring music. I never cared for enka. [A/N: Enka is sort of a Japanese version of country.]

Suddenly, the DJ threw on another record, something dramatically different from anything else that he'd been playing that night. It sounded like...hip hop?

Yuuki nodded his head to the beat. "Are these guys American or something?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're The Roots," Yuuki replied. "Man, I love this song." Out of the blue, he grabbed my hand. "Come on, Jou. Let's dance."

I was frozen. I don't know how Americans act, but Yuuki was behaving as if he were from a different planet. Either that, or all of those American fried foods must have gotten to his head. Here in Japan, men do not dance with other men. Unless they want to announce to the world that they're gay. I am not gay.

"No thanks." I thought that a polite declination would bring Yuuki to his senses.

Apparently not. "Oh, please, Jou. Don't be so uptight." His slender hand grabbed hold of my tricep and he pulled me out to a clearing in the hall that would apparently make for a dance floor.

I searched desperately for a proper excuse. "I don't know how to dance." Especially with men. Of course I didn't add that part: I really didn't feel like being called a dirty homophobe.

Yuuki began to sway as I stood there, blushing furiously. It took everything I had not to watch his remarkably fluid hips. His arms flowed gently as if they were paper in the breeze. He moved in perfect synchronization with the music, never missing a beat. Apparently, his dancing had the same effect on everyone else in the hall. Their collective eyes remained locked on Yuuki.

Considering the fact that everyone in the room happened to be of the male gender, I was prepared to believe that they were going to kick my ass, along with Yuuki's. What actually happened was beyond shocking.

You see, instead of beating us up, they got out of their seats and started...dancing. Unbelievable, I know. But Sota grabbed Akito (whose blue hair wasn't up at all ends, but was combed down in a ice, professional fashion) and they both kicked and swayed furiously. Hideaki (who was still wearing his ridiculous fedora) started dancing with some other man who I didn't know. Even Otogi got Honda to dance with him. (I made a mental note to chew him out later.)

So for three minutes, I saw surrounded by men in suits who all danced with each other as if it were something normal. Perhaps it was because they were so female-deprived. I didn't even consider the other option.

I turned to the table that we had been sitting at, thinking that there had to be someone there who thought this situation wasn't normal. (I had already lost Honda to this insanity.)

Unfortunately, the only other man I saw was Kaiba Seto. I didn't want to find myself agreeing with him, even in secret, so I started dancing reluctantly with Yuuki, making sure not to get too close. (Of course he didn't think I was gay...)

But instead of Kaiba wearing a face that said that this situation was beyond strange, he looked angry. Almost jealous, even. And that's when I noticed that he was looking directly at me.