Author's Notes:
Finally finished the first proper chapter! Thank you for all of the reviews, they sincerely help. Please let me know if there are any mistakes or if you have any suggestions. I don't have an editor, so any help is welcome! It might sound crazy, but this story is my gift to the Doctor and Rose, and I want it to be worthy of them. But I won't give away any spoilers;-)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all related characters herein do not belong to me. The rights to publish anything relating to Doctor Who belongs to the BBC alone.
Chapter One: The Doctor-Donna
Bad Wolf Bay
Alternative Norway, 2012
Nudging an errant hair away from her cheek, Rose Tyler studied the man before her. No - only half man, half Time Lord. Not really the Doctor, then, was he? Did it matter that he said he loved her, or would it only complicate matters? So many questions that needed answering. She was still feeling slightly light-headed from their kiss, and was beginning to wonder if she shouldn't have acted on impulse.
The wind streamed through his unruly hair as though it too demanded an affirmation of his solidity. His eyes squinted against the sun's rays, but were directed at her. Her hand, still clasped in his, felt the brush of his thumb against her knuckles.
"Doctor," Rose began, then bit her lip in hesitation. "But you're not really the Doctor... I mean, you are, but- what do we call you now?"
He exhaled slowly, turning to study the sea before them and remaining silent long enough to make her doubt he had heard her. Between the roar of ocean and wind, it felt as though any sound they made was torn across the sand before reaching each other.
"I am the Doctor, Rose. He and I share every memory until I was fully formed," he said. Sighing, he raked his left hand though his hair and turned to gaze down at her. "But I understand if you don't feel comfortable calling me by that name," he added softly.
The not-quite-Doctor let go of her hand and reached out to brush a strand of gold away from her face, letting his fingers gently slide along the line of her jaw. The touch reminded him that her face had thinned out, and bone structure featured more prominently than in their previous years together. His eyes squinted through the gale to search hers, freckles standing out in sharp relief through the pale sunlight.
Rose took hold of the hand still resting on her cheek, and brought it down to rest between them. "I- I don't know if I can," she said, licking her lips and looking down.. "And I know that it might hurt you, but the Doctor - my Doctor - will always be the one who left."
Swallowing hard, Rose looked up at him and continued, "You've taken human names before. Maybe now you're a man, you could choose another?" She saw his eyes fall to the sand and knew she'd hurt him, but Rose needed to be honest. Even if he was not her proper Doctor, he still deserved every bit of her respect. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, his expression more resigned than hopeful.
"John Smith would do, I suppose." At Rose's slight smirk, he turned again to the waves. "Welllll... maybe not John Smith. Bit overdone, isn't it? What's in a name, anyway?" he sighed. "As I recall, just "the Doctor" suited me well enough." He drew in a long breath, and let it out slowly as he lifted an eyebrow and turned to face her. A not-quite-frown worried his lower lip.
"You've never wanted a proper name?" Rose struggled to put some levity into her voice, nudging him with her elbow. "Come on, then, whaddya think?" Scrambling for ideas, she said the first two names she could think of: How 'bout Mickey Mouse?"
"Mickey Mouse!" he exclaimed, letting go her hand to rest fists on hips. "First off, there can be only one Mickey-the-idiot, and an entire universe is hardly enough to keep him in check." Reaching up to tug an earlobe, he continued, "Ears aren't as big as they used to be either, so that's a double no for Mickey Mouse." He paused for a moment, staring off into the distance. His features softened after a moment and he murmured, "Wilfred Noble."
Rose was surprised. "Wilfred - from Donna's Dad?"
"Her Grandfather's, yes," he said, nodding and turning to face her. "I rather liked him. And what with Donna Noble as a charming new addition to my personality, the two seem to go well together. Don't you think?" His hands, formerly resting on his hips, spent a split second searching for pant-pockets before dangling loosely at his sides.
There was a hesitation quite unlike the Doctor in his expression. A gift of insecurity from Donna, perhaps? Just another reminder that no matter how much he looked like him, this man could never be her Doctor. "I think it's perfect. And that's Dr. Wilfred Noble, right?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at him while emphasizing "doctor."
"Oh, of course!" he exclaimed gaily. "Dr. Wilfred Noble, ex-time traveler and brand new citizen of the Earth. It does have a bit of a ring to it." He grinned winningly at her, grabbing her hand and swinging it back and forth in a gesture so like Rose's Doctor that it nearly broke her heart. Fortunately, her mother saved her for any need to reply.
"Oi, you two lovebirds! You comin or not?" Jackie raised her voice even louder and called, "Pete's at the nursery and I got to help Tony! Toilet training's just started and we're fresh out of pull-ups! I do hope he's on the nursery run," she added as an afterthought.
Rose rolled her eyes the Doctor - no, Wilfred - and tugged his hand in the direction of her mother. From a few yards away, she called: "So, how was it, then?"
"How was what, Mum?" asked Rose. Upon closer view, however, she detected a twinkle in her Mother's mischievous eye. Rose took a step back, letting go Wilfred's hand in her sudden need to gain a bit of distance between them.
"No need to be shy with me, dears," Jackie assured with a wink, nonchalantly flicking her wrist at the two of them. The tapping of her foot betrayed eagerness even as she schooled her features to patience.
Rose looked from her mother to Wilfred - whose expression looked flummoxed - and back again, wondering if the obvious innuendo would make its way through his thick head.
Wilfred frowned and began: "Sorry, Jackie, but I'm afraid I don't -"
"The kiss, you daft idiot! You kissed my daughter back there! Took your bloody time getting around to it, too," Jackie added, nodding her head and tapping her foot to a quicker tempo.
"Mum!" Rose interjected, feeling her cheeks flush in mortification. Her eyes sought Wilfred's, but it seemed he had chosen this as another of the exceedingly rare - and highly inconvenient! - times to forget his gift of gab.
"Oh, don't go pretendin' it didn't 'appen! I was there, I saw it, and I want to know how it was," her mother stated triumphantly.
Wilfred appeared dumbstruck, opening and closing his fists and jaw in an effort to figure out what to say. Catching Rose's beseeching glare, he finally appeared to pull himself together, pointing an admonishing finger at her mother.
"Oi, that's none of your business!" Jackie drew in a breath, and Wilfred stamped his foot loudly upon packed sand. "Oh, no no! We'll have no more of that, Jackie Tyler. There's a time and a place and aside from it being - look at that!" Wilfred shifted his erstwhile accusatory finger in a northwesterly direction, and continued, "Is that a helicopter I spy with my half-human eye?"
Rose squeezed Wilfred's hand as her mother turned toward the noisily approaching machine. He turned to smile down at her, returning the squeeze in kind. "Thank you," Rose mouthed. His nodded in acknowledgement, smile widening in something that might have been self-satisfaction at saving the day.
"That's Pete's latest toy," Jackie explained, tilting her head towards the chopper. "I got him flyin lessons for his birthday last year. He's up there every chance he gets these days. Tryin to shirk responsibility, if you ask me."
Rose turned to Wilfred. "Dad knows that mum's scared of heights," she murmured, a smile beginning to tug at her lips. "I reckon its more about him gettin' some time on his own." Wilfred nodded sagely. He knew how Jackie could be, even in small doses.
Appearing to have missed her daughter's musings, Jackie had turned away and began to jump up and down, waving her arms to gain Pete's attention.
Wilfred leapt forward and grabbed one of Jackie's flailing wrists. "Don't do that!" he exclaimed. "Unless, that is, you really want tiny bits of rock spraying into every facial orifice at 544.27 feet per second. Rounded to the nearest decimal, of course, though I doubt it matters to you lot- and if not, I suggest we find a suitable make-shift landing zone." He drew in a breath, raised a hand to shield his eyes and turned on a heel to search the terrain. "The cliff tapers off in that direction," he pointed to the southeast, words beginning to pick up speed in the spirit of discovery, "If I remember correctly - and I always do - there's a clearing up that way that should do the trick. Here, follow me!" And without looking back, Wilfred began to run towards their goal.
Jackie sighed at her daughter, and both began chasing after the retreating figure.
"Some things never change, do they?" asked Jackie. "Just like his namesake, always haring off and leavin us to follow like lemmings."
Rose slowed to match her mother's pace. "Not his namesake, Mum," she replied. "He wants us to call him Wilfred. Doctor Wilfred Noble."
Jackie looked at her daughter in surprise. "Wilfred? Bit old-fashioned, isn't it? I mean, I know he's old and all, but even for him-"
"He had a lot of respect for Donna and her grandfather," Rose interjected. "It's her grandfather's name he took."
"Still, why a new name?" Her Mum was beginning to puff a bit for air, so Rose put a hand to her mother's wrist in hopes of allowing her to lighten their pace. Jackie glanced sidelong at her daughter, but kept to their measured strides. "Anyway, he always seemed so proud of where he came from. The great Doctor, last of the Time Lords and all that."
"But he's not the Doctor anymore, Mum," Rose said gently, shifting her view to take in the diminishing figure of Wilfred. "He's here with us for better or worse, and that means living like an ordinary man. Though," she muttered, "I doubt if he'll ever be ordinary."
"So?" persisted Jackie, "he might be a man, but he's still the Doctor. Looks like him, talks like him, and we're still trailin' after him like before, aren't we?"
"He's got one heart, Mum," Rose stated, setting her jaw and subconsciously picking up the pace again. Jackie drew in a deep breath and kept up, sensing the mood her daughter was in.
"What, you think I'm deaf? I heard what he - the other Doctor, I mean - I heard what he was sayin bout changes."
Rose ran fingers through her hair in frustration. "So then you know that he isn't, yeah?" she asked.
"Isn't what?" asked her mother.
"What have we been talking about?" Rose demanded, rolling her eyes to the sky. "The Doctor!"
From the front of the cliff face, Wilfred turned and called out to them, "I can see it just ahead! Do keep up," he shouted. Turning on his heel, he renewed his vigorous strides toward a landing site.
Jackie turned to address her daughter mid-stride, "See how he responded?"
"He just isn't used to it yet, Mum," Rose sighed, grabbing her mother's hand and dragging her along again. She shook her head in agitation, trying to dislodge a lock of hair from the corner of her mouth..
The two strode along in silence for half a moment until Jackie broke it: "You made him pick one, didn't you," she asked softly.
Rose nearly fell, cursing a nearby stone in an attempt to compose herself. "Course I didn't! I -"
Jackie denied her daughter the chance to go any further. "I could always tell when you were lyin', " she said, shaking her head in admonition. Rose had the grace to look abashed, eyes trained on the ground in a mock-search for more offensive stones.
"So he's wearing a blue suit and has some new anatomy. Still don't see as he needs a new name," Jackie said. She turned to face Rose in a futile attempt to gain eye contact, and after waiting a beat, she added, "And Rose, it isn't like the other one's ever comin back."
Rose looked out at the sea and felt something akin to a small flame within her beginning to fade. "I know," she said, almost too quiet for her mother to hear. Raising her eyes and looking ahead, Rose firmed her shoulders. "But that doesn't mean that this man - Wilfred - is gonna take his place. He isn't the proper Doctor." Rose swallowed and shook her head, stoking the tiny blaze through strength of will alone. "Never will be."
"He's not your Doctor, you mean?" her mother asked gently. Rose nodded in reply, not trusting her voice for words.
Wilfred was less than ten yards away now, so Jackie began taking slower strides - partly for her breath. The other part tried to find words to suit her daughter's delicate situation.
"Rose," she began, and paused. "I can't even begin to grasp what you're feelin' right now. But you've got to let go, love. You've been on this quest of yours for ages, tryin to find the Doctor and now he's here, Rose. Please. Don't let that get away from you."
Rose kept walking, saying nothing. Finally, she turned to her mother. "I know what you're thinkin, Mum. Let's just go home for now, yeah?"
Jackie held her daughter's eyes for a moment, then nodded. They crested a final wall of rocky bluffs to find themselves at the cusp of a barren field. Feeble tufts of grass strained for daylight along a vast expanse of sand and stone. Wilfred stood in his shirtsleeves on a slab of rock before them, blue jacket streaming from his clenched fists in a vain effort to signal the oblivious chopper.
"Oi, you dunce!" exclaimed Jackie, rooted to the spot in disbelief. "You're like the rest of us now, don't go catching pneumonia!" Rose ran the rest of the distance and eased the jacket from his frigid fingers.
Wilfred looked vaguely chagrined, but didn't argue. "Got any flares?" he quipped, briskly rubbing his hands together to create friction.
"I got better than that," announced Jackie. She reached in a pocket and pulled out a bright pink cell phone, brandishing it proudly in front of their gaping faces. "Well? Never seen one before, 'ave you? Lucky you got me around."
"Had that all along, did you?" Wilfred asked, resignation in his voice. He glanced at Rose, who shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes at him, as though shirking any responsibility for her mother's actions.
"It isn't everyday I've a chance for a one-on-one with my Rose, Doctor - err, Wilfred," Jackie added belatedly, flipping open her cell phone and beginning to dial. Wilfred coughed loudly, quickly raising a shaking hand in a belated effort to cover his mouth. He pulled his hand away from his face, staring at it as though it were a ghost.
"He's just a man now, Mum! Next you want some alone time, just ask me-" Rose chided her mother, but was interrupted by Jackie crooning into the phone: "Pete, darling, is that you?"
Rose looked at Wilfred and asked, "Why I bother - here, you alright?"
Wilfred had both bands in his pockets again, and though his nose was decidedly pink from the cold, he nodded, "Course I am. Just need to remember that I don't have a respiratory bypass system any longer. It'll take some getting used to," he said, puffing his cheeks, blowing the hot air between his hands and rocking back and forth on his heels. "Brand new adventure, humanity - learning from the inside out."
"Right," said Rose. "Lets get you start on the right foot then, shall we?" She held up his coat for him to shrug into, shifting to allow his arms into the sleeves and straight into his jacket pockets. "First thing we'll do when we get back is find you a pair of gloves."
He shook his head and shrugged ruefully. "Oh, no need for that, I know I've got a spare pair in the - " Wilfred cut off abruptly, features going blank. "I mean, I'm sure I'll be fine without. Pockets do the trick quite nicely," he finished lamely, giving her a small smile that missed his shadowed eyes.
Rose had no chance to reply. The helicopter had found them - with Jackie's belated help, no doubt - and was lowering itself into landing position, blades whipping the air into a frenzy. All three moved back to give him room as Pete landed the steel beast with a surprising amount of grace.
"He'd need loads of practice for that," Wilfred called to Rose over the rush of sound, and grinned mischievously as she caught his eye. Rose smiled back at him, rolling her eyes in her mother's direction.
Pete leaned across the cabin and opened the door for Jackie, who turned to Rose, practically shouting into her ear, "Isn't he such a gentleman?"
Rose winced at her mother, hoping it would pass for a smile. Wilfred opened the door for her, gesturing with his left hand, "After milady."
The air was much warmer inside the chopper, and Rose gratefully took her jacket off, arranging it carefully on the seat back. Wilfred made himself comfortable in the bucket-style seat beside hers. The cabin had a space between the left- and right-hand seats in both front and back, the better to store necessary supplies when trunk space ran out. As soon as they were safely in the air and cruising towards London, Pete adjusted the rear view mirror to take in the sight of the two people behind him.
"Doctor! I never thought I'd be so glad to see your face!" Shifting his eyes to his daughter, he continued, "Rose finally found you, did she?"
"I did, Dad," Rose began, but was cut off by Pete. She decided then and there that her mother was a decidedly bad influence on him.
"If you'd only seen her over the past few years, Doctor," Pete's eyes appeared to crinkle into a smile in the rear view mirror. "Rose was a woman on a mission. Torchwood kept trying to place her in other projects, but you know how stubborn she is. Knew she had to find you, made it her life's work. Didn't sleep some nights." His eyes shifted briefly to Rose's, before returning to Wilfred. "Most nights, probably. She did a poor job of hiding it. Jackie and I actually thought of getting her a cot for her birthday one year - just as a joke - but realized in time that she might actually take it as excuse to sleep in the office. She never did give up on you, Doctor."
Rose had been trying to signal Pete to quit goin on on about it, and sighed as she saw Jackie reach a hand over to cover Pete's on the controls. She really ought to have listened to what her Mum was saying on the phone - her Dad really wasn't that much of a romantic. She had opened her mouth to things down when she felt Wilfred's fingers brushing hers. She turned to look at him, and her throat caught at what she saw.
The Doctor - no, Wilfred! God, she needed to remember that - was looking at her, eyes dark and full of emotion. She'd seen that face before, when he was wearing his brown suit. It usually happened when they'd narrowly skirted death, or were hot on the key to a mystery. Sometimes she saw it when they were talking about everything and nothing, and he'd reach for her hand to hold. Rubbing his thumb across the webbing between her thumb and forefinger, his eyes would bore into hers for moments on end. Until something happened to distract them, as it always did.
Wilfred's gaze was on her, mouth a set in a straight line, the corners of his lips slightly turned down. His hair was wild, just like the Doctor's on any given day. It made her heart beat faster, and she felt a ray of sun rising in her cheeks. Eyes locked on hers, he intertwined their fingers, brushing his thumb across the webbing. Her eyes closed briefly, but then he did something he hadn't during their travels - Wilfred raised her hand to his mouth and lightly grazed her knuckles, lips barely touching.
Rose's eyes fluttered open, mouth slightly parted as he performed his delicate work. She felt light as a feather - as light as the warmth of his breath on the back of her hand - and ready to seep out through the cracks in the cabin's foundation. She tried to speak and no words came out. She licked her lips, and Wilfred slowly lowered their fingers. He flashed a small smile at her, eyebrows slightly raised as he allowed their hands to dangle in the space between their seats. A few stray butterflies rose in her chest as he brushed his thumb across the palm of her hand, and she beat them down with a quick swallow.
"Yeah, Dad," she finally got out. "I found him."
There was a long moment where no one said anything at all. Wilfred's features finally settled on something like contentment, and he toward whatever view his window had to offer. The only sounds to be heard were the steady "thud-thud-thud" of the helicopter blades and occasional engine shift.
"There's one thing, though, Pete," Jackie said. "The Doctor... he made a copy of hisself, only he's half-human -"
"It's more complicated than that, Mum," Rose intervened, but was again cut off by her mother.
"He made a copy so that they could live out their lives and grow old together. Isn't it romantic, Pete?"
Pete's reflection in the rear view mirror changed, eyebrows drawing down to address Wilfred with his eyes, "So if you're a copy, where's the original?"
Rose interjected, "Dad, it isn't -" And Pete was the one to cut her off this go-round. Rose huffed and crossed her arms, turning to look out her window.
"I haven't heard the Doctor - or is it his half-human clone? - I still haven't heard him speak yet." Rose opened her mouth to tell him that NO, Wilfred was NOT a clone, when she felt his hand reach over to cover their intertwined fingers, squeezing gently.
"It's all right, Rose," Wilfred said softly. This simple gesture was so like her own Doctor that Rose's vision began to blur.
Wilfred turned to face the front of the cabin, bringing his right hand back to the coat pocket. "My name isn't the Doctor anymore, Pete," he began. "It's Dr. Wilfred Noble - Wilfred and Donna were both friends of mine - and I'm half-human, half-Time Lord." Wilfred's eyes turned to the ceiling as he mused aloud: " I wonder how many times I'm going to have to say that?" Returning his level look to Pete's, he continued, " At any rate, now I'm here on earth for better or worse, and I'm afraid that means I've got to start living like an ordinary man."
Rose's breath caught. Feigning a sudden fascination with her right shoe, she chanced a surreptitious glance at his expression. He'd been listening. She'd have to remember that he could still hear ten times better than the average human. What other superpowers did he have?
"Duly noted, Dr. Noble," said Pete. "Please go on."
"Come to think of it," Wilfred began as though thinking out loud, "the Ood saw this coming. Welllll, I knew they saw it coming, but the actual "it" wasn't the "it" I originally thought "it" was."
"The Ood?" asked Rose, raising her eyebrows in recognition. "You mean, those humanoid aliens with the squiddy faces, tentacles and that?"
"The very same, Rose, I'd nearly forgotten how good a memory yours is!" Wilfred grinned brightly, squeezing her hand in a gesture of pride and delight at her revelation. "Yes, the same, with the addition of telepathy and an uncanny aptitude for clairvoyance to add to the list of characteristics." He paused, then went on again as though thinking aloud, "Come to think of it, I wonder if we knew about those abilities. Not so extraordinary on their own, but combined? That's rare. Very rare."
"Very, very rare?" Rose teased him with a cheeky smile, tongue stuck in the corner of her mouth between her teeth.
Wilfred tilted his head back slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Quite right, Rose. Very, very, very, very, very rare. I see you get the picture."
"Quick study, that's me," she retorted, and it felt enough like old times to give him a genuine smile of pleasure. Wilfred smiled back, perfect teeth gleaming in a grin that could power the sun, and they held eye contact for an endless few seconds. Then he abruptly cleared his throat, smile fading as he seemed to recall what they were about.
"Yes, well," he continued, lowering his eyes to the seat in front of him, "my kind - or rather my sire's kind, I suppose you could say -"
And just like that, the bubble burst. Rose had forgotten, if only for a few moments, the situation they were in. She felt as though a frigid splash of water had unceremoniously yanked her back into reality. Pulling herself together - and hoping he hadn't noticed - Rose hurriedly interrupted, "The Time Lords, you mean?"
"The same," said Wilfred, who appeared to sense nothing amiss, and continued blithely on in a lecturing tone. "Gallifray held an interest in any species with the ability to read time. Backwards, forwards, around and through - didn't matter which direction. If you could read any of the continuum, they wanted to know about it." He paused. "Dangerous, you know. Whoever it was would have been perceived as a possible threat to the governance of time, which the Council saw as their responsibility alone."
"You were saying about the Ood, Doctor? Pete asked in an effort to recharge Wilfred's focus.
"It's Wilfred or Dr. Noble, Pete. Or maybe Fred? Fred! Fred Astaire, now there was a dancer, truly Astaire to aspire to. Great bit of alliteration there, nearly as brilliant as 'allons-y, Alonzo!'" Fred's features lit up in a familiar child-like glee at his newly discovered play on words. "Fred Astaire Noble. The Noble Doctor Fred Astaire, dancing up the stairs of Big Ben's clock tower to stare at the gears of time that he once traversed... ooh, I'm waxing poetic now, aren't I?"
Fred stopped his musings, pausing to take in the expressions of those around him. "Now, what are you all staring at me for?"
Rose shook her head from side to side in reply, a small smile flicking on her lips. "You're joking, yeah?" Fred simply looked at her, a reflection of her own expression in response.
"Well, at any rate," Fred went on, " if you all would please start calling me "Fred" as soon as possible, it would be a huge help. You humans have a remarkable ability to adapt - have pity on a poor halfling," he said lightly. "Anyway, yes, the Ood. Donna and I made a visit to them a little over a year ago. It had been about that long since I'd let so many of them die on Krop Tor, and I figured I owed them one."
"It wasn't your fault, Doct - Fred," Rose amended hastily.
He nodded, turning to face her. "I know. But that doesn't make it right. When we found ourselves on their planet, the Ood were enslaved. Like before, on Krop Tor, only they were being paraded around to see how much money their "owners" could squeeze out of the Ood's innate desire to help. Donna and I took part in setting them free - they weren't completely powerless, mind you, but we gave what help we could. In the end, they told us we could stay as long as we liked and were always welcome for a visit. It was a lovely place, very shiny but a bit cold - colder than where we are right now - and Donna wanted to go somewhere warm. At any rate, just before we left, they called us the Doctor-Donna."
"So you think they were able to see your future?" Rose prompted, after Fred - she fancied that more than Wilfred, to be sure - lapsed into silence, staring at the faux-leather seat back in front of him. After a moment with no reply, she reached out to touch his shoulder: "Fred?"
With a slight start, Fred reached up to hold her hand again, absent-mindedly stroking the backs of her knuckles. "To see into the future, yes, but I'd originally assumed that they were talking about Donna and I traveling together, putting things to rights and so on. Now I see that they meant what they said - a hybridization of Donna and my other self." Glancing at Rose, he seemed to finally notice that he was stroking her hand, and twining his fingers with hers, let their hands dangle between the seats once more.
"Still," he said, straightening his posture and looking directly at Pete's reflection in the rear view mirror, "that's neither here nor there. My question for the moment is this: what are you going to do with me?"
