Carnivale

A/N: Wow! It's amazing to see the love that you have for this little series of stories. Thank you so much for your excitement and enthusiasm, it truly is inspirational. I was literally grinning from ear to ear as I was reading the reviews for the last chapter. Seriously awesome. xoxo :)

As always, I love to hear what you think!

Disclaimer: I was eating microwave chicken tenders while writing this chapter. I'm pretty sure if I owned Castle I would have something a little more… just something else. (Edit: & by something else, I did not mean the peanut butter & marshmallow fluff sandwich I am eating now…)


Chapter 2

She was sitting on the top step of the mostly finished log cabin when he arrived back at the homestead. There was a bottle of whiskey at the foot of the stairs and a smoldering cigarette dangling from her fingers; her arms resting on top of her knees, hands hanging in between. She was staring past the large oak where Sarah's grave rested, and across the small plain of yellow and brown grass to the trees in the distance. She hadn't shown any anger or pain when they had been standing in the middle of town. She hadn't said a word past polite conversation until she excused herself a few minutes later, after Meredith had pulled Alexis away and Sorenson had gone back to tending to his circus under Esposito's watchful eye. He had attempted to follow her then, but she had begged off, citing exhaustion and told him to go back and finish distributing the papers.

He should have followed. He should have said something because he could see now that the wall, that wall he had seen falter for an instant that morning, was back in place.

He sat down next to her grabbing the bottle of whisky as he did so. He noted, somewhat happily that the wax seal hadn't been broken.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife right now?"

It was a low blow. Petty. He knew it and so did she but it didn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth.

"I am with my wife," he responded softly, a slight bite to his words as he attempted to break the seal on the bottle.

Kate continued to stare into the distance as they fell back into silence. She hadn't yet broken eye contact with the horizon, even as she brought the cigarette up to her lips to take another drag. The cork popped out of the bottle and her head turned slightly as he brought it up to his lips for a swig. He placed the bottle back down at his feet and she continued to watch him out of the corner of her eye. Assessing him. Planning her next move. The yelling, the screaming. The soft, calculating statements. He was ready for them. He could take it.

Things were finally starting to get better, but now this. It was just one more thing to weigh on them, on her. The town had finally stopped talking, or at least, the whispers had gotten softer. The homestead was almost finished. They had been hoping to have it done before the baby arrived. Only one segment of the roof and the windows remained to be completed. The glass was due to arrive before the end of the week. The bassinet was polished; all traces of splinters were gone. Kate had been smiling more. He had even caught her singing to the baby upon occasion. Talking to it. They read a fairytale every night. His head snuggled down in the bed so that he was murmuring to her belly. She'd said the baby would stop moving, as if it was listening or being lulled to sleep by the sound of his voice.

"I sent the papers, you know, when I received them. Alexis was four, maybe five years old. Meredith had left me in the middle of the night. There was a note on the pillow stating that she couldn't do it anymore; she had to be free from us. I was so angry. She had left me alone with this little girl. I didn't know anything about raising a child. I had just finished university and was working long hours doing grunt work at the paper. I went to work, I provided for our family, like I was supposed to; like I was taught to do and then I had to be both mother and father to this little girl. I had to ask my mother to move in with us and pay for a nanny that we couldn't afford. So, the moment I received the papers I signed them and sent them back. I didn't even hesitate."

She opened her mouth and he braced himself for the dismissal, the growl telling him to get the hell away from her and her baby.

"What do you think happened?" she asked. Her voice was barely audible and his head snapped up when he heard the murmured question.

He ran his hand ran through his hair. "I don't know; it was during the war. Many letters were lost at the time. It may be in a pile somewhere, forgotten."

He let out a sigh. The sun was starting to set and the temperature had dropped significantly in the past few minutes while they had been sitting there.

"I wouldn't blame you, you know," her voice was soft again as she looked down at the dirt path below them, throwing the remaining end of the cigarette to the ground, and watching as the cool November breeze snuffed it out. "If you went back to her. She can give you things that I can't right now."

Castle nodded his head slightly. "You make a good point. That tiger is pretty amazing. I would take it over Bandit any day; the little scoundrel."

He had been hoping for a smile but when he looked over he was receiving a glare instead. He ducked his gaze to the path, watching the last flicker of light die from the cigarette butt.

He let out another sigh and reached an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him in a sideways hug. His heart thumped and his gut clenched as she stiffened and he prayed that she wouldn't pull away. They had been so close.

She relaxed into him after a moment; her cheek nuzzled into his shoulder and he breathed back the nausea that had been rising. She wasn't pulling away this time. That was good. He could feel the tears stinging at his eyes.

Why was this happening? Why now, when they had been so close?

"What are we going to do?"

"What?" He asked, pulling back so that he could look at her, still not sure he heard correctly.

"I said, what are we going to do?" she restated, stronger. Her head tilted up so that she could look in his eyes. "I would like to be married to the father of my child before it is born. It's bad enough what they say about me, I don't want her to be labeled a bastard as well."

Her lips quirked into a half smile and he relaxed. It was slightly forced but he would take it.

"Well, I am going to telegram my lawyer back in New York. Hopefully he can expedite some new divorce papers. I can't see them getting here before the end of the month though."

"What if they don't get here in time? What if the circus is already gone?"

Castle sighed but his lips tilted slightly. "Well, in that case, how do you feel about polygamy?"

He deserved that glare.

Kate sighed, shaking her head, as she reached down and grasped his fingers in her own, holding them loosely in his lap. "Where's Alexis?"

"Meredith insisted on spending time with her, alone," Castle lamented as he pulled her into his chest again, relishing the feeling of having her against him. "I wish I, we, could be there with them. Alexis hasn't seen her mother since she was a baby."

"Alexis is strong. She'll be all right and if she's not at least you will be here for her when she returns home."

They sat there for another long moment, staring out into the prairie as the sun cast an orange glow over the earth, making it look like it was on fire. The rain was gone, all traces of clouds removed from the sky but the smell, the feeling was still present.

"Come on," Kate said after a moment, lifting her head from its resting place on his shoulder, tugging slightly on his hand. "It's getting cold out here, let's go inside."

"You're not making me sleep in the loft tonight?" Castle questioned, only half teasing, as he stood, holding out his hands so she could hoist herself off of the step.

"Not tonight," Kate replied as she reached back down to pick up her hat, which had been on the porch behind her. "If I am going to live in sin, I might as well do it properly. Besides, it's too cold outside. If you slept in the loft there would be no one to keep me warm."

"I'll keep you warm all right," Castle growled as he pulled her to him, hugging her gently. "I love you. Don't ever doubt that the person I want to be with is you."

Her head tilted up, a slight smile playing on her lips as she squinted at him in the glowing evening light. She pressed her lips to his softly and he couldn't help but smile into her mouth, leaning into her hungrily, his hand snaking up the back of her shirt. The tip of her tongue flicked at his lips gently and he parted them slightly allowing her room to explore, letting her set the pace. She was normally okay when she was in control, when she was allowed the lead.

"I've missed you," she whispered softly when she finally pulled back to look him in the eye. Her fingertips traced down his jaw line, over the week old scruff that had grown there, scratching her nails against it gently.

"I've missed you too." He replied, leaning down, silently asking permission to kiss her again, testing the boundaries of the fine line they were dancing.

He did gently, after she gave a slight nod of her head but he could feel her stuttered breath as she continued to pet the side of his face, her eyes pressed closed.

"I'll shave it if you want," he whispered again when he pulled back for the second time.

"No, no, it's good," she reassured as she gave him a wobbly smile, her eyes glistening. "It's different It makes you different."

He rested his forehead against hers as she continued to run her fingers down his face, sniffling slightly as she attempted to compose herself. He could hear the rest of her statement ringing in the air. It makes you different from him. Not for the first time in the last six months, he wished the bastard were still alive so that he could kill him himself.

"I love you," she whispered to him, her voice a cross between fierce and pleading and this time he was the one who was trying not to cry.


Alexis shifted in her seat as she looked at her mother sitting across the table of the café. It was a small place, quaint. Eustace had opened it a few months before, towards the end of summer. The tables were lined up outside at the edge of the porch that ran the length of Main Street. It was at the edge of town but it was perfect for Alexis: halfway between the schoolhouse and Lanie's small office. She liked to stop in for breakfast or afternoon tea from time to time, take a moment to relax and chat with the cook. When Daniel would make it into town, the café was where they would go if they weren't having dinner with her father and Kate. So, this was where she had brought her mother: her mother whom she hadn't seen in more than ten years.

She couldn't help but stare at the woman. Alexis had never looked like her father. With the red hair, she could say that she looked like her grandmother and that the fair skin and flaming locks had skipped a generation but looking at her mother now, she knew where it had come from.

"Well, this is quaint," Meredith stated as she looked around the café, her hands dusting off the wooden plank table.

"It doesn't look like much but the food is very good," Alexis defended quietly. "Eustace is an amazing cook."

Meredith let out a hum of acknowledgement as she critically eyed Eustace who was flitting about behind the stove, her hair wrapped in a length of fabric to keep it away from the food. She pursed her lips slightly before turning her attention back to her daughter. "It reminds me of a little café in Paris that I loved. I should take you there. You would love Europe. It is vastly different from Colorado and even New York. Elegant."

Alexis shifted in her seat, fidgeting slightly, before remembering her upbringing and forcing herself to sit still. She folded her hands daintily in her lap, with her back straight and chin up.

"And, speaking of elegant, look at you, my little girl all grown up and beautiful. Of course you would look so much better if you weren't wearing those awful clothes. I have some gorgeous lace from London in my trunk. I'll see about having it made into a dress for you, perhaps a shawl. Something to keep you warm in the winter time," Meredith smiled as she waved a hand at Alexis' outfit.

Alexis looked down at her dark green shirt and brown pants as her hands went up to pat at her simple braid self-consciously. Kate had had them made for her at Alexis' request. She was constantly running around town between her schooling and helping Lanie or riding out to the army camp to see Daniel, and the pants were so much easier. Besides, it was her best shirt. There were even little flowers and beading embroidered on the collar and cuffs.

She had also taken to carrying her knife strapped to her back, like she had the first time she had visited Colorado Springs over a year before. Kate wouldn't allow her to have a gun yet but she was okay with that. Her hand would still shake while holding the metal weapon and she needed more practice before she felt comfortable having one on her at all times. Kate had promised more lessons after the baby was born.

"I like this outfit," Alexis voiced, her chin jutting up in defiance as she looked at Meredith. "Kate had it made for me."

Meredith clucked her tongue. "Of course she did. Honestly, I don't know what your father sees in that woman. Maybe it's a good thing that their so-called marriage is void. It will give him a second chance to think about his options."

Alexis could feel her hackles rising. How dare she? Who was this woman to come into her life and make judgments?

She ducked her head, taking in a deep, calming breath, as Eustace came over and placed two bowls of stew on the table in front of them and a biscuit on the table next to each setting.

Eustace hesitated for a moment, glancing over at Alexis in question before heading back to the kitchen at the girl's reassuring nod. She was okay. She could handle this by herself.

"Kate's a good woman. She's taken me in as her own," Alexis defended quietly, causing Meredith to look up from her meal, startled.

"Oh, don't misunderstand," she recanted hastily. "I'm sure Kate is a fine woman. I'm just not sure if she is the type of woman your father should marry. Your father is going to be a famous man some day with his writing. How would this Kate fair with the social obligations that come along with that role. I couldn't see her sitting at a table dining with the President of the United States, now, could you?"

Alexis ducked her head again, shaking it slightly as her spoon clattered against the edge of her bowl. She really couldn't see Kate anyplace other than Colorado Springs. That is why they were out here because it was where she belonged.

"No, but…"

"No, no, enough of this," Meredith interrupted. "This is not why I wanted to have supper with you. I wanted to learn about your life, my beautiful daughter. So, tell me all about you. I want to know what I have missed. Everything."

Alexis looked up at the glowing, happy eyes of the woman sitting across from her. Yes, this was the woman who had abandoned her years before, but she seemed nice enough. Willing to listen about her life. No, she may not be perfect, but she wasn't moaning in her sleep because of nightmares and she wasn't crying in the middle of the night when she thought no one was awake listening. Maybe it would be worth it to give her a chance, to let her listen and to listen in return. Maybe it would be nice to be the center of one of her parent's attention once again.