Hey readers! Have I mentioned you guys are awesome? Because you definitely are pretty awesome. I'm taking littleblackneko being my first commenter on this story line as a good sign.
SIDE NOTE – I've managed to get my own Canada story! My sister had her son 7 weeks early and we had to fly up from Bermuda to Nova Scotia for my nephew's health (we don't have the machine that he needed here) and I took my laptop to write for my amazing readers. I go online to post on the hotel's supposedly secure password needed network and as I'm waiting for fanfiction to load I blue screen, try to bring it back and it doesn't start. Computer guy Joe says he doesn't know what did it but he didn't think the network was good! He did his best but just about everything I had was lost. Gave it to him months ago so he could extract what he could and I've got my notes and stories back! However, lesson of the story is don't expect the free guy to get your laptop back to you in a timely fashion! Also when you get your hands on a novel you were writing but stopped, you'll find yourself writing for months straight! Once I finish that I'd love for any of you to read it.
Ok these next few chapters are going to be pretty back and forth but they're easy to follow, but I will keep the time notes in there to help.
Also. Remember that this doesn't include the 7th season. To be honest, I didn't get to watch much of the 7th season. I'll catch up soon, I promise! I did, however, catch Robin being the bride! (like there was a doubt, lol). Also season 8! Can Barney be anymore awesome?
Thank you so much for the reviews, the alerts and the favorites. I promise to try to be up to the standard you guys expect.
PS – I've spent today singing 'with my freeze ray I will stop the world' out loud. Just that verse. Everything else I hum but I get to that verse and it begs to be sung aloud! Lol. Sorry work.
PPS – to those who've asked/messaged about Tedelodeos Mosby and the Drawn out Quest, yes, I promise to update soon. My twitter followers, if you're still there, I'm coming back!
That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met
Na na na na na na
Two Weeks Earlier – The day after the wedding
Ted picked up his phone, and, taking a breath, started to dial. Three numbers in, he panicked, hung it up, and started dialing again. This time he got two numbers in, and finished it by dialing Marshall's phone.
"Ted, I'm elbows deep in doody. This better be good." Lily answered. Ted paused, the visual floating through his mind before he responded.
"Where's Marshall?"
"He's finishing up the diaper. I got out while the going was gross."
"Right… Its just, I got that girl's number and when I got to call her I" a yell from the background cut him off, followed by high pitch shrieks from Marshall.
"Lily! He won't stop peeing! He's peeing on me!"
"Marshall put the diaper over it!"
"The diaper flew off!"
"Oh for." Lily huffed. "Ted, I have to go. You want advice?"
"Yes."
"Just do it." Another high pitch shriek and there was the click of the disconnect.
Why am I panicking? Just call! He took a breath and dialed, holding it up to his ear.
"You've reached Clover."
"Oh hey Clover, Is"
"Is what I'd say if I were here. But I'm not."
"Oh, answering machine."
"Actually no. It's me." Clover laughed. "I do that when I don't recognize the number or the voice on the phone. I just did it for fun though." She laughed again. "You're looking for Starla right? One minute." There was a few sounds of scuffling, and the other's girl's accented voice came onto the phone.
"Hi Ted."
"Hey Starla. I was calling to see if you wanted to go to dinner."
"I would want to do that very much."
"And it looks like rain. You should bring an umbrella."
"Huh? Oh sorry Ted, Clover is singing again." Starla sighed. Ted laughed to himself. It was a cheap ploy. He'd only just realized he never noticed which girl had said mine. He was too busy realizing that the umbrella was the same as he'd carried.
Not to mention both girls had been so good looking, and charming.
"Nothing. I'll see you tonight." He gave her the name and address of the restaurant and hung up.
At the same time in Italy, Robin and Barney were on their way to their hotel. In the back of their taxi his hand was sliding slowly up the skirt of her wedding dress, ignoring the glances of the driver.
"Mrs. Stinson." Barney said it softly.
"Yes?"
"Nothing. I just like saying it." He laughed and reached the top of her thighs. "I never thought I would."
"Like saying it or say it?"
"Both. Well, like saying it." His hand slid to the outside of her thigh and up, tugging softly at the waist band of her panties. "I used to think that f I ever got married it would be to some stripper who'd gotten pregnant and trapped me in an endless horror of matrimony… only two boobs for the rest of my life… years of boring sex… no more happiness"
"Um… yeah not a good thing to say to your new wife." Robin slid over in the seat so that his hand wasn't pulling at her any more. He gave her a smug smile and leaned closer to her.
"That was before." He moved his hand to her was and started to slide it upwards. "Before I knew this hot, awesome, tragically Canadian"
"Hey!"
"Woman was going to show up and turn my life around." His had moved until it was just under her breasts. "These boobs are my boobs."
"Excuse me but I'm going to have to ask you two to stop." The taxi driver suddenly cut in. "Refrain from such public shows."
"No! My boobs!" Barney said before gripping Robin. She shot the driver a defiant look of her own.
Two minutes later they were standing on the curb surrounded by their bags, watching the taxi pull away.
"Well… that was fun."
Ted was fixing his tie and on his way out when his door was thrown open.
"TED!"
"MARSHALL!" He yelled back.
"Oh my god, there was, and then, Bryan he, so much doody!"
"What?"
"Oh no you don't!" Lily yelled. She was behind Marshall, pushing Bryan in his stroller. "You promised you'd watch him while I napped so"
"But Lily! The doody!"
"Its just a stomach bug Marshall! She lifted Bryan and passed him to his father. "Watch him!" She walked across the living room. "Ted." She nodded hello to him, and walked into his bedroom, slamming the door.
"Marshall?"
"This baby holds nothing. He either poops it out or spits it up." Marshall said, looking at Bryan. Bryan smiled up at him. "How are you even growing."
"I'm actually on my way out… so…"
"Oh. No worries Ted. We'll keep quiet." He didn't look at him, he was instead watching Bryan and reaching slowly for the diaper bag, as if Bryan would self destruct if jostled.
"Um… ok…" He walked to his door, it started to close behind him as he heard Marshall exclaim again.
"Oh god Bryan why!"
Ted was running later than he thought, and got there a few moments after Starla. She was already seated, and he watched her through the window. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, looking up at the waiter who'd seated her. She smiled at the waiter, and Ted smiled back. The waiter took her hand and kissed it, and Ted realized he should get inside fast.
"Hey Starla."
"Ted!" She smiled at him and watched as he sat across from her.
"How are you liking New York?"
"I love it every time I come over." She smiled again. Her blue eyes sparkled at him. "It's about 3 times now, including the class."
"Oh yeah, my professor economics professor day." Starla smiled back as the waiter came over and handed them menus, listing off the specials before disappearing again.
Ted looked at his menu, giving it a half smile and cleared his throat.
"So. Do you want to share the oysters?"
"Umm… Sure." Starla said, flipping the menu at the same time.
"That's good, because if you didn't, that would be… mighty shellfish."
"So anyway there's me and Robin, middle of Italy still in our weddi"
"Barney I was talking!"
"Oh were you still on about that?"
"Barney." Robin said. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Fine Ted, continue."
"Where was I?"
"Umm… Shellfish" Marshall said, shifting Bryan.
"Oh right, I'll skip ahead to after. I got her to her door, and she invited me in."
"First date Ted? Nice." Barney said, as if he was going for a high five.
"Not like that Barney." Ted smiled and continued.
