"How did I treat you when we dated?" Matt looked at me steadily, his eyes piercing, intense.
"You were good to me, Yama." He was, I won't deny it. Even after the break up, he was sweet to me. I knew when we started going out that it wasn't really what he wanted. He needed somebody, anybody, to care about him. A sense of belonging, of being loved no matter what. In the end, I couldn't give him that, and we had to call it quits.
"Was there anything I did that was wrong? Were there things that I should do if I dated someone else?" His eyes are so serious, his expression completely bewildered. I smiled, thinking how innocent and endearing he looked when he didn't have a clue. "Did I do anything really annoying, that I shouldn't do?"
"You were wonderful, Yama. Anybody that goes out with you should already know that." His eyes meet mine, searching into the very depths of my mind. "Except that. You have a way of looking at everyone with so much intensity. You need someone that can either ignore the way you stare, or can stare right back."
"Someone who won't back down?" His smile is thoughtful, focused on some private inner thought. "The last person who stared me down was Daisuke." His voice sounds odd, different, an undertone I'm not quite certain I've ever heard before. "He won."
"How long did it last?"
"Thirty-three minutes, and forty-two seconds. He said something about Tai and a bowl of something red, and I had to turn around to defend my hair." He laughed. "I should have known better."
"That's our Daisuke." I could well imagine the cinnamon-haired boy doing such a thing. Daisuke is a wonderful and honest person, don't get me wrong, but the boy would cheat a child to win, if he thought it would work. He doesn't like to admit defeat. "I don't think he knows the meaning of the word lose."
"He does." Matt's voice is quiet as he moves his gaze to study a spot on the floor at my feet. He's managed to corner me in the store-room at the back of my mother's floral shop, and we're sitting on crates, talking. He leaves tomorrow, to start at the university. I'm not going for another semester, so I thought he was coming to say goodbye. Somehow, he started talking about that time, four years ago, when we had dated briefly. "He knows all about what it's like to sit back and let everyone else win. That's what makes him so great. He doesn't always have to win."
"Unlike Tai, who demands a rematch if he doesn't win the first time." Matt nods distractedly, his eyes unfocused. "Daisuke is truly great." He nods, a small smile tilting his lips. Taking a guess, piecing his attitude together with some of the things I knew, I waiting for his eyes to meet mine. "He finally told you?"
He looks surprised, but then he laughs. "I should have known he would have told you. Did he ask for your advice?"
"He didn't tell me or ask me anything, Matt. The way he looks at you sometimes, or the way he says your name. He can't hide the way he feels, and he doesn't bother. I know that Ken knows, and maybe Kari, but the others are pretty well unaware. When he's with you, he spouts of more than normal. I've heard him go from talking Izzy down to blubbering like an idiot within five seconds of you walking into a room."
"Why did he wait so long, Sora?"
"Because as of tomorrow, he won't have to avoid you, and he won't have to worry about your recriminations. He has months in which to dream, and hope, before he has to worry about you sending his world crashing to the ground."
He looks at me, his eyes insecure. "Tell me, Sora. Do you think it's at all possible that a thing like this could work between the two of us. We're both impatient, and neither of us likes to deal gently with peopleā¦"
"Wrong, Yama. Dais knows how to be gentle, and quiet. But he also knows, as do Tai and I, that letting you wallow is ten times more dangerous that punching you. You like to dwell on things, to the point that they consume you. Bringing your feelings out into the open is something that needs to be done, and the three of us recognize that. Or, at least Dais and I do. I think Tai just likes to fight."
I watched as he laughed at that, his shoulders slowly relaxing. "He sent me a card two weeks before my birthday, and said that he just wanted to make sure it didn't get lost in the shuffle. At the time, I thought that he'd just messed up the date in his mind, but he hand't had he?"
"He doesn't forget a thing about you, Matt." He's looking less tense, and I'm glad. I really hate it when he worries so much.
"Thank you, Sora." He stands up, and we hug. "I'll look forward to coming down for the holidays, and seeing you on the weekends."
"You'll keep me updated?"
"Of course." He turns, and walks out, leaving me to smile at his back. That boy has more problems than Indiana Jones without his whip. Or maybe the Kaiser sans whip. He has a lot of problems, at any rate.
