Hey everyone...I felt like writing, so here's the next part!

ShiaLover09: You're welcome:) It's the least I could do...well, I'm sure there's something less, but anyways. Yeah, I'm excited for how this story's coming along so far. The writing is flowing much better in my opinion. I actually have an outline, and I'm sticking to it...so far.

angel-prncess-18: Yep, the story is about Jay...for now, but in the next couple chapters, I'm sure you'll be able to see the transition happening. It is kind of a sad story, but I like it:) It's about to get a whole lot sadder, so get ready for that...

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nope, not in the least


Chapter 2 - Open Wounds

Jay stepped out onto the back deck of his childhood home, inhaling a deep breath of salty air. The breeze stung his lungs, only slightly detracting from the constant weight that he now pulled around within himself. It felt slightly strange to be back in Australia after so much time away. Time had passed, and circumstances were different now. He had just returned from the funeral and was taking a break from the crowds of people who filled every inch of the house. The summer heat bore down on him, and he loosened the tie around his neck and finally removed it. "Why did you have to go?" he spat out angrily to no one in particular. "We might have…could have…talked one more time. But now. Now, all I have left are regrets."

"Don't have regrets, dear," his mother said, coming up behind him. "Your father wouldn't want you to feel like this."

"But I do! I feel horrible, Mum. I shouldn't have left angry," he said, his fist pounding the railing.

"You are very much like him," Maria Robertson looked fondly at her son. "So proud, the both of you." She brushed his unruly hair out of his face. "Jay, sometimes, things like this happen. They don't make sense, but we learn. Eventually, with time, the pain will not be as intense. Then, you will be able to move on." Jay turned and rested his head on her shoulder. She continued to stroke his hair in a comforting manner. "He loved you very much. I know you didn't think so, but he loved you. That's what happens when you're a parent. Even when your child is breaking your heart, you love them."

"Do you think he felt a lot of pain?" he asked, feeling like a small child.

"The doctor said that the attack was quick and relatively pain free."

"I never wanted this to happen, Mum," he said. "I should have come home sooner."

"Enough of that," Maria shushed her son. "You wouldn't have know this was going to happen."

"But I should have talked to him earlier…before now," Jay protested.

"The days before the attack, he talked about you constantly. It was like he knew," she remembered. "Everything he said was about how proud he was of you. Although he didn't agree with some of your decisions, he was always proud of his only son." Jay felt like he was going to burst from holding in the howl of misery that filled him.

"I remember everything. The time he took me out on the waves for the first time. Every moment of that day is in my mind still. Maybe if I hadn't gone out on tour and stayed to help with the business, he would still be alive."

"Your father could have hired someone to help him, but he refused to have any assistance. I wanted him to retire a couple years ago, but he always insisted on next year. Now, there will never be a next year," his mother sighed very softly.

"I'm sorry," he said guiltily. "I came here for you, not to dump old problems on you."

"It doesn't matter whether you're five or twenty-seven. You're always going to be my baby," Maria said. She caressed his hair lovingly, a small smile playing along her lips.

"You seem so happy. How do you do it?" Jay asked. "I mean, you've spent the past 30 years with Dad. How can you deal with this?"

"Way back in the beginning, when we were first married, we had a discussion similar to this. We decided that no matter what happened, the two of us would continue to live our lives. That even if death separated us, we wouldn't give up. I'm still hurting. It hasn't completely sank in yet, to be honest, but I know that this is what your father would want me to do. I'm just trying to honor his wishes. I miss him very much."

"I wish it didn't take death to make me realize how much I loved him," Jay said quietly. "I don't know how I'm going to make it. I want it to all be a dream"

"Take one day at a time. Someday, you won't have to remind yourself to breathe, and it'll be as if you have woken up from a dream," Maria smiled at her son. "We're going to make it through this."

"What are you going to do? Will you stay here?" he asked.

"Let's not discuss this now. We should return to our guests. But tonight, we'll talk. There are some things you need to know," she said, her words sounding slightly ominous. She stood and turned to go back into the house. "Take a few more minutes and collect yourself before coming back in." Jay was left standing there. He threw one last, longing look at the ocean, before trudging slowly into the house. All the people were in groups talking softly, oblivious to his pain. One or two people came up to him and spoke a few words before skittering away as if he had some sort of disease. Jay inwardly hoped that the time would pass quickly and they would leave him in peace. He heard countless remarks about how much he looked like his father, and how tragic it was that he had died. Often, he had to reign in his comments, to prevent himself from completely chewing out the person with whom he was conversing. Finally, after what seemed like hours later, the last person had left, and they were the only two remaining in the empty house. "Jay, why don't you go sit out on the deck, and I'll be out there in a minute." He moved to do her bidding. Several minutes later, Maria appeared with some papers in her hand. "Before you read these, there are some things you need to know."

"What do you mean?" Jay asked. A pang of foreboding hit him at her words.
"I don't know how you're going to take this…" she began. He felt like he was going to burst from her secretive demeanor.

"What is it? Just say it. I'll be fine," he said, waiting impatiently for her answer.

"Okay, well….Your father and I loved each other very much, but there have been rocky patches in our relationship," she said. Jay remembered situations when he had hidden in his room, trying to block out the sounds of his parents arguing. The memories secretly still pained him after all these years.

"Yes, I remember."

"Well, during those times, sometimes he would leave for a few days," Maria looked away from him. "On one of those occasions, he met another woman."

"Dad had an affair?" Of all the things she could have said, this was not was he was expecting. He felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He almost collapsed into the nearest chair, his legs feeling far too weak to support him.

"Yes, he told me about it just a few months before he died," Maria looked pleadingly at him. "I know this is hard for you to take. Both your father and I are to blame for this, not you. We didn't take the time to work out our problems, but chose to hide from them."

"But why did he do that? Weren't you enough? I knew you fought sometimes, but I thought things were good between you two."

"They were in the past few months. We decided to make things work instead of choosing the other way out."

"How did he meet her? She's probably some sort of a gold digger. Was she at the funeral earlier? Did I walk past her without even knowing it?" Jay had a myriad of questions.

"Actually, she was only visiting here at the time. She's originally from the U.S. and lives there now. I don't believe she was here, but you never know."

"You've talked to her?"

"Well, no, this is just what he told me."

"I can't believe it! How could he do this to you?" Jay exploded. "After all these years, why would he go after someone else?"

"We both had our own indiscretions, Jay," said Maria. "Both of us made huge mistakes. Several times during our marriage, we stopped communicating, stopped trying to make things work. But even though we had our share of troubles, we never stopped loving each other. These past few months have been the best ones of my life."

"You really believe that?" he asked. She saw the obstinate look on his face and sighed. This boy of hers could be so stubborn sometimes.

"Of course it took some time. It's not easy finding out that your husband chose someone else over you. For awhile, I was furious. I thought about giving up and leaving him. But I had a choice to make, and I chose him," she said simply. "It was the right thing to do."

"I…I don't know if I want to forgive him," Jay admitted. "I can't believe he's gone. I keep thinking that he's going to walk through the back door and this will have been a dream. I didn't mean to stay away for so long, and I didn't think I'd be back under these circumstances."

"Of course, he hoped that you would come back, but he would never admit it. Not to me, not to anyone, but we all knew anyways. He hated admitting he was wrong. Every time you called, I could hear him in the other room, trying to listen to our conversation. Still, he refused to budge." Maria studied her son's downcast face. "So it wasn't just you." He still didn't believe her. Couldn't believe her. By blaming himself, he could find a way to cover up the pain he was hiding. No matter what, this is all your fault was the sad refrain that ran through his brain. You could have been a better son, could have been more successful. Maybe then the last words you spoke to each other would not have been an argument.

"The last thing I ever said to him was that I hoped to never see him again. How am I supposed to forget that? He was so angry with me..." his words trailed off. Maria sat there for a moment.

"There is one more thing I need to tell you. Wait here," she said, quickly standing and hurrying into the house. Several minutes later, she returned with a white envelope in her hand. "I was supposed to give this to you when you arrived, but I forgot. I'll give you a moment." He slowly slit the envelope and pulled out the pieces of paper. His father's firm, neat handwriting jumped out at him from the first page. It was dated only three months before his father's death. Slowly, he began to read.

Dear Jay,

Well, after all these years of silence, the first thing I can think of is that I owe you an apology. I'm so sorry, Jay. I'm your father and am supposed to love you unconditionally. And I do, so much. But I failed you all those years ago when I put the business first and kept telling myself that there would be time in the future. You were such an energetic, happy child, and I missed it. Before I knew it, you were almost grown, with very different dreams in life than what I had hoped for you. As my only son, I had so many dreams for you. Hopes and dreams that were not your own, and I wish I could have seen that back then. I wish I could go back and change what I said to you. I've regretted those words every day since. Yet, I've had many missed chances. Can you find it in your heart to forgive a prideful old man who has made so many mistakes?

Before I continue, there is something else I need to confess. Several years ago, when your mother and I were having troubles, I made a terrible mistake. I had an affair. I am so sorry that I hid this fact from you for so long. You deserved to know back then, but I was ashamed and afraid of what you might think. And now, it's too late. I received a letter this year from the woman I had an affair with. She wanted me to come visit her. Said there was something she needed to tell me. I couldn't, due to being ill, so, she called me and gave me the shock of my life. Jay, she had a child. My child. I want to be a part of this girl's life, a way to atone for my past mistakes with you, but I cannot because of this sickness. So, this is what I want to ask you. Will you be able to put the past behind us and find my daughter for me? It's almost impossible to ask, but you are my last hope. All I want is for her to be okay and to live a life that is full of love, of everything I cannot give to her.

Jay, I know this will be hard for you. I never wanted to put you through this much pain. Please forgive me. I know you thought that I didn't care, that I never saw all you've accomplished. For all these years, I've watched you from a distance, kept every newspaper clipping of your achievements, and been so excited of all you've done. I'm so proud of you, son. You have become an amazing man. I love you very much.

Love,

Dad

Jay reached up to touch his face, which were wet with tears. He hadn't even realized he was crying. He had a sister. I always wanted a little brother or sister, and now I do. I wonder what she's like. His mind wandered for a minute before the anger set in. All his feelings were so conflicted within him. How do you expect me to just forgive and forget? This is too much for me. I can't handle this. Even as he thought the words, he understood his father's brilliance. Of course, his father had known Jay would have trouble adjusting, but he knew that Jay was strong enough to handle it. Perhaps the older man knew him better than he thought. He flipped through the rest of pages; a name, address and phone number was printed on one. So, the woman lived in Seattle, Washington now. She might be a little hard to track down, he thought. The next paper was a plane ticket. He stopped completely, his mouth slightly open. He looked over at his mother. She had tears in her eyes, but she nodded encouragingly at him. "You knew about this, didn't you?" he asked.

"I believe you can do it."

"I don't think I can," he said. "How can I? I feel as though my world is completely upside down. I'm so angry, confused…."

"Let go of it. It will take time, but you've got to do it, or else you'll just be a bitter man, with a lot of disappointments." She was right, and he knew it. I can't do this. This is too much to ask. There were a million reasons why he shouldn't do this. But in the end, he lost every single one. He would go to Seattle. If it was the last thing he could do for his father, then he would do it gladly. And that was a small source of comfort.


Well, that was nice and depressing. And long. Hopefully, there was enough description there so you could kind of see what was going on. Anyways, the song of the day is Open Wounds by Skillet, which I find strangely fitting. I really wanted a song called Australia, but alas, I couldn't find any that didn't drive me crazy. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! One more thing, if you have any brilliant ideas for a girl's name, let me know! I'm thinking Haley...but what do you think?