The sun was filtering through the heavy curtains that adorned large French windows that ran along the massive wall opposite Buffy Summers big four poster bed, Buffy cringed at the sharp pain that filled her head as she opened her eyes for the first time in what seemed like days, the same pain that filled her head every morning, for every night that she tried to blank out the past that was her punishment. In her drunken stupor Buffy had completely forgot about the altercation between herself and Dawn 5 nights ago but as she began to wake up more and more of the events of that night quickly flooded back, from her drunken entrance into the house to Dawn packing her bag and leaving, this flood of memories was probably due to the fact that she been sick the night before and was unable to go out with Morty as per use well so she had not drunk last night.

Having Dawn leave made Buffy relies even though she had lost so many people that were important to her she had just lost the one that made her life anywhere near worth living.

Pulling the blankets back Buffy fought the urge to be sick and began to get dressed then busied herself packing a bag, she was going to make amends with Dawn , there was no way in hell that she was going to lose her too.

As Buffy began packing her bag it accrued to her that she should call Morty to tell him where she was going so that he would not worry about her, she picked up the phone and dialed the numbers that she knew by heart. The phone rang, Morty's familiar voice answered.

"Yeah?" was all he mumbled as though he had just woken up from a deep sleep by the shrill ringing of the telephone.

"Morty it's me Buffy, I can't make it tonight or any other night for awhile I have to go to the states for a bit" Buffy said with a pouty voice "I hope you're not angry with me"

"Why you got to go the states babe" he drawled "why not stay with me"

"Well Dawnie and I had a little tiff and I need to patch things up ok" she said as simple as she could because she was beginning to become annoyed with him. "She kind of took off back to the states, so that's why I have to go there"

"I could come if you want?" he put in "for morale support and all that bullshit, wouldn't mind going back to the states for a little holiday with my best girl"

"Look, Morty I think it would be best if I did this myself, ok" Buffy said getting a bit miffed by this, there relationship was anything but normal by Buffy's standards because Morty was always trying to be the aggressor and the submissive is not a role that Buffy Summers plays well or at all. She had tried it because obviously the way she had been in all her other relationships hadn't worked. "This is just something I need to do on my own"

"What you don't want me I'm not good enough for you or your friends" he snarled down the phone at her, now she was used to his quick flips in attitude and had had enough of them.

"I don't want you to come because you're the problem" she said in an even tone and placed the receiver back into its cradle, then she ran the airport and booked the first flight from Rome to LAX.

Arriving at LAX 25 hours and 45 minutes later Buffy could feel herself going through a mild dtox because for the first time in a long time she had gone more then 12 hours without a drink to drown her sorrows. After coming through customs and nearly getting strip searched because she had forgotten that her snazzy black boots were steal capped but once they had figured that out she was home free. Outside the front entrance Buffy joined the queue waiting for cabs and sat down on her huge luggage. After a 20 minute wait she was finale in a cab although she wasn't sure where she was going so she instructed the cabby to take her to Willow and Xander's apartment because that's where Buffy assumed Dawn would go. Buffy had only talk to Willow and Xander 4 times in the last year which was something that Buffy was not very proud of but time just seemed to fly by when you where having 'Fun'.

As the cab whizzed through the streets of LA Buffy wondered how Willow and Xander would react to her turning up unannounced on there door step. She knew Willow would be glad to see her but Buffy also knew Xander would be slightly standoffish because of the distance that Buffy had deliberately put between herself and everyone else in the world, the distance was manly due to the fact that Buffy didn't want to be hurt again. Buffy had never seen her two best friends' house before and felt a flutter in her stomach that she could only put down to excitement but as she began to think of her best friends her thoughts turn to Spike. Silent tears ran her face and she wiped then away, she'd tried so hard to forget him, tried with every thing she had but it never seemed to be enough it was like he was burned into her soul her very being. Every time she closed her eyes or went to sleep he would be there and everyday it killed her a little more, she felt empty, hollow and alone so alone.

"Are you alright miss" the kindly cabby asked

"No" She whispered and for the first time she knew that she was very not right not right at all.