The bitter cold of the wind chilled his bones, and he glanced around him as he walked with a single folder held in his right hand. It was light, but fragile all the same, and had he'd been more inclined to that sort of thing right now, he would have broughten a briefcase or something of the sort.
The evening lights, coloring the nights busy avenues,
Down the street brings back memories of you...
This was the time of year he'd never looked forward to before only a few years ago, always dreading what it would bring with it. Lights were hung everywhere, children were pressing their rosy-cheeked faces against shop windows with wide, sparkling eyes, and voices of choirs could be heard from every direction. Snow, a rarity for this part of the country, came down in large flakes, sticking to his long silver hair and black coat. Looking ahead of him, he saw something that made him pause.
It was two people, one kneeling and the other standing, her hand over her mouth with wide eyes. Her lover, still kneeling, spoke words of devotion as he asked of her a promise. Her eyes begin to water with tears of joy, even as he watched, and she practically screamed out her happiness as she affirmed her answer and leapt into his arms as he stood, not even waiting for the ring. He spun around several times, their laughter and tears of joy striking him somewhere within his chest as he watched. It was a scene he knew all too well, and one he knew everyone around him knew as well when some people began to clap for the young pair.
It was strange to think that he'd seen the exact same thing last year, from the young man's point of view.
Now I am watching, as lovers pass me by,
Finding your shadows, in the views of my eyes...
He'd asked her to be with him forever, to never leave his side. Never in his life had he'd seen someone so happy, never in his life had he'd felt so happy, and never in his life did he think he could feel the love he'd felt then. He remembered he'd laughed loudly when she'd flung herself at him, shocking her as she'd looked up at him with wide eyes. She smiled then, the smile that melted his body to nothing and yet solidified it into something at the same time. He'd asked her what the reason was and she'd laughed quietly as she allowed him to slip the ring over her dainty finger.
She'd answered him saying that he should laugh more often. At this, he'd laughed again and brought her lips against his in a chaste, but passionate kiss.
But that promise had been shattered, and not for the first time, he cursed himself for his foolishness. He'd always thought himself a smart individual, letting the pride of knowing that show in everything he did. Therefore, it was quite alien for him to feel that he was a fool. But he was a fool, this much he knew for certain.
Now I am here, all alone
Remembering the time we used to laugh together
In the fall of the cold
I still think of you,
Wondering if you feel the same...
He wondered now, as he continued walking once more down the crowded street, if she would still love him. Or would she hate everything he was, and everything he represented? This he did not know, and at this rate, he and many others were afraid they would never know. It had been half a year since she'd fallen into the deep sleep they called a coma, and so far there were no signs of her awakening. Just the thought made him wince from the pain that suddenly erupted in his chest.
That pain, all consuming and unrelenting, had been with him for half a year now. Even as he'd hunched over his piano, untouched plates of food and glasses of water skattered around him among other things, it had stabbed him with a brutal strength. Once, he'd looked at such a thing with hard eyes and disgust. Now, he felt it with a vengeance. He felt the pain of loss, the pain of heartbreak, and he felt as though he were slowly wasting away.
At this time, it was only the thought of her awakening, her forgiveness, and the memory of her that kept him alive. Memories of her smiles, memories of her laughter, and memories of her tears.
Save, your smile for me,
Even although you cry for me,
Remember me and love me always...
He knew if she awoke, there was a chance her memories would be changed or gone. But with all his heart, he wished she would remember everything they'd had. But he also knew that if she awoke, he'd be forced to let her live her life without him. For their friends, their families, and anyone who knew them, this was all his fault. Even if she did awaken and still loved him, they would be seperated for her supposed safety. At first, it had been a laughable thought almost. Almost. But now, he knew it was the truth. Their friends and families would keep them apart for her safety. He'd be forced to watch her from afar as she lived out her life.
Possibly even watch as she loved someone else and spent her life with them.
Love, and smile for me,
Hold on to all that we had,
Remember me and love me again...
But there was a strong hope, a need almost, that she would somehow love him again and forgive him for his sins against her. Though he knew his hopes were impossible, he still felt it within him with a burning sensation. He continued walking, leaving the crowded sidewalk to walk into a large building that must have been at least thirty stories high. He'd been here many times in recent months, presenting them his work many times and getting feedback from others before now. Now, he'd completed it. He'd completed his project of many months of little food and rest, and many others along with it.
But he couldn't help but wonder as he walked towards the receptionist's desk for what seemed to be the hundreth time if all this was enough.
I'm so depressed living , a quiet life now,
There is no one here, with which to hold hands,
Or protect me from the cold.
Feeling like this loneliness will tear me apart,
I am waiting and listening for your voice,
To get me out of the dark...
The receptionist smiled up at him, having become familiar with his presence over the last few months, and simply waved her arm to the elevator, knowing they were expecting him. He nodded, not bothering to smile for he knew it would looked forced, and walked towards the elevator.
As he did so, Sesshoumaru realized his life had been once more thrown into a reutine. Everything was as it had been the day before, a few exceptions here and there. Rin barely spoke to him anymore, even when she came by the manor to visit with Ah and Un, and he found himself missing her. She was after all his only child. Lately, he'd begun to feel the cold feeling seep back into his body as his heart froze over once more, his fingers icy from the lack of contact with anyone. Even his servants avoided him now when they had used to keep him company. Had she'd been there, he knew Kagome could have warmed him.
But she wasn't, and she most likely never would be.
His loneliness was like a heavy cloud that hung over him like never before. Yes, he'd been lonely before she'd come to him, that much was certain. But now it was different. Now it reached into his very soul and gave it a nice hard yank. Even as the elevator "dinged" and he stepped into the hall of marble he knew all too well, he longed to hear her voice. A voice so beautfil even when she spoke that it often gave him tingles.
That voice alone would rescue his soul from its loneliness.
Snowflakes fall like the tears that are running down my face,
I wanna hold you just one more time.
I think of you night and day,
Wondering if you feel the same...
Again, he saw the snow falling. It clung to the windows of the building, covering some corners completely as he walked by. Again, as he turned to his left and walked into the comfy sitting room he'd spent much of his time in lately, he hoped that she would forgive him when she awoke, once she'd heard his apology. He hoped that she would somehow find him, hear his apology somehow even though their loved ones would try to prevent it, and she would return to him. She would return to him and give him that smile he knew was just for him, the one that he would do anything, even capture the stars, to see directed his way. He hoped all this would happen and so much more.
He hoped she would still love him.
Being in the silence of the night,
Fall into my arms and I'll hold you so tight.
My kiss will guide our missing hearts,
And tell me you'll love again...
For not the first time, he noticed how late this meeting was. Usually these meetings were held around noon, and at this time, the sun was setting and darkness was turning on even more lights outside that he could see. Suddenly, he remembered a night like this. It was one of the first times they'd gone out on a date together, encouraged by their ever match-making friends. They'd gone ice skating, again an idea of their friends, and they'd both been surprised at the other's skills. She'd taken lessons since a very young age, and he'd simply found it was in his blood. But as she'd been setting herself up for a jump, a little girl had skated out in front of her and naturally, Kagome had squealed and tried to avoid hurting the child.
She'd ended up falling into his arms instead of onto the cold ice.
Looking up at him with those bright sapphire blue eyes, her cheeks were flushed and her breath coming out in harsh puffs. It was then he'd looked at her slightly parted lips and felt a strange emotion swell up within him. Having always been an impulsive person, Sesshoumaru had simply leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly. She'd gasped, her ahnds tightening on his arms, but that was gone when she suddenly closed her eyes and returned his kiss.
He wanted to smile at the memory, but kept his features schooled as he sat down in a large chair he favored. Again, hope surged within him. Hope that he would be able to kiss her again, even if it was a goodbye. A goodbye he'd caused with the foolishness. A goodbye that meant that she still cared and that he could remain part of her life.
Even if it meant she'd love someone else even as he remained there.
Save, your smile for me,
Even although you cry for me,
Remember me and love me always...
"Ah Sesshoumaru! I'm happy to see you looking well my friend! Did you bring them?" Sesshoumaru nodded and held out the folder, giving it to one of the three people sitting across from him.
The man smiled brightly as he removed a single CD and a stack of papers from the folder. He gently placed the papers on the table before removing the CD from it's clear case and giving it to the young female next him, signalling for her to place it into the stereo.
As the music began to echoe within the room and looks of concentration spread across the other's faces, Sesshoumaru knew that if she'd been there, Kagome would have been smiling. For he'd finally followed his dream.
He'd followed his dream for her.
Love, and smile for me,
Hold on to all that we had,
Remember me and love me again...
He could actually see her now, surprising since he had not actually seen her since that day so long ago, standing before him with that smile upon her face. She wore her favorite outfit, her long blue skirt swirling around her ankles to reveal the black suede boots beneath. Her shirt's sleeves were long a billowed around her tiny wrists, the black material so thin that she also had to wear a white tank beneath the low cut top. Her hair was up in a messy bun, several large chunks hanging down in her face as they too danced in the non-existant breeze.
Suddenly, a noise caused him to sit up and Sesshoumaru realized he'd lost himeself in his thoughts once more. The CD had stopped playing, all fourteen songs done, and nearly everyone in the room had the same smile upon their faces. The young woman began to slowly clap, shocking him where he sat, and as the others joined in, the man directly in front of him smiled and spoke once more.
"Sesshoumaru, I do believe we have ourselves a new star."
And once more, he knew Kagome would be smiling. Smiling and crying with her happiness for him, just as she'd done many times before.
:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:A/N:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:8:
WOAH! I have no idea where I got the sudden urge to continue this story! Maybe it's because I've been listening to Gackt all day. Meh, ya never know. And I know it's short! But it fit!Anywho! I will be writing more lately since this coming week is finals! (W00T!) I've been working intensly on Stray, Whispers, Siren, Last Song, and a few others. So hopefully, the updates you're waiting for will be done soon! So please, review this story and my others! I love the feedback! Ja ne!
Blue
