A/N: This was a bigger hit than I thought it'd be, which leads me to conclude that there a lot of people with something wrong with them.

And oh yea, sorry I'm taking longer to update than some of the other absurd fic heroes out there. ;)

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Rodney, You Dog!

Part 2

So off went Radek spouting Kate was old news

And trust me when I say the Colonel was, indeed, amused.

The Czech goes on rehashing all with Kate, he heard I had done bad

Apparently rumor was, I'd driven the good doctor Heightmeyer mad.

Knowingly nodding, Sheppard formed as smug a face as he could make.

He then humorously sighed, "…too much McKay for even a therapist to take…"

Annoyed I was, at the childish shot from the Colonel toward me.

Radek merely snorted, "Yes, well, Miko did not have that difficulty…"

Sheppard's eyebrows hit the air displaying his interest as best they could

Radek really didn't need the urge considering he was already professing all the grapevine had understood.

With Miko, rumor was that she, very much, could withstand the McKay charm,

A problem existed however where it was my inattentiveness that caused her harm.

As Radek had heard, my inability to make time for her ended our little tryst,

Apparently the frustration of me not being around enough finally broke the petite scientist.

Sheppard was laughing now, heartily and without remorse.

More than annoyed now I realized that I needed to participate in this little discourse.

My pride was being attacked and now I had to rush to defend.

Radek cut me off however as he continued leeringly with another rumor, "And then…"

The idea of fitting so many relationships into my schedule, though thrilling, was simply sublime.

The Colonel even took notice snorting, "Geeze Rodney, what did you do, date two at time?"

Simpson, Dumais, and Novak were all apparent notches on my belt.

Considering each rumor ended with me being dumped, however, should insult be something I felt?

Why was any of this of interest to the Atlantis military C.O.?

Though not a phrase I like to utter, 'I sure as hell don't know!'

Sheppard doubled over as Radek finished an anecdote regarding Novak, me, and a rumored fight with the Asgard on loan.

I can assure you, the exaggerated image in the Colonel's head right now is something I never would have ever condoned.

The Colonel and Radek's laughter filled the lab while the best I could do was merely frown.

It was then Sheppard asked, "Man look at the time. Hey Radek, can we skip to what happened with Rodney and Katie Brown."

My second looked at me as if permission was something that he needed,

Kind of late don't you think Radek, considering the purpose of permission was already defeated?

Sheppard ignored the need for my blessing as he pushed Radek to explain with my pride now mortally hurt.

Apparently Radek felt guilty now, as it seems what happened with Katie was the fault of a tap-dancing explosives expert.

Never mind that the Czech's loyalty seemed less devoted to his boss than to the blonde marine.

Getting over that, I was feeling an odd sense of relief in that this rumor did not put the fault completely on me.

The rumor mill had it that Katie was jealous of the time Cadman and I were a duet.

She thought that there was more to our relationship than distain and thus began to fret.

The rumor finished off with Katie dumping me because Laura was actually an adoring fan of mine with great fuss.

And as if on comedic cue here comes Carson through my doors, 'Hey why not? Might as well join us…'

"Excuse me?" he utters in blatant shock and accented breath.

Damn it… I always knew that Laura Cadman would be the assured cause of my death…

TBC…

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A/N: Hey I said Carson would appear I didn't say anything about him actually doing anything. Hehe. And yes, I am well aware that Elizabeth Weir has yet to be mentioned ;) Until next time!