Hey everyone! Hopefully this chapter is up to scratch, but I haven't written much of the third chapter yet so we'll see where this story is headed! I have an idea, but sometimes you post something, and then it's kinda too late to change it if you want to - but I have a fairly strong idea on where I'm going with this.

Dedicated to takeanotherpicture, Geekquality and Complicated-Love for being my first reviewers. Thanks so much!

Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

Chapter 2


Sam sat on the couch at Carly's after school, munching on some chips that she'd found in the kitchen cupboard. She'd just had the best week – after thinking that she'd lost Carly's friendship forever; they were suddenly as tight as ever, after Carly finally discovered that Sam had been telling the truth. Carly caught Missy out in the act, walking in on time to see Missy being harsh to Sam. Caught in the act, there was nothing for Missy to do but try and explain. But, seeing that Missy had just won the six-month-trip to study away at a school on a ship, she didn't mind admitting it.

Sam hummed aloud tunelessly, lost in her thoughts. However, while she licked a spoon, her thoughts were interrupted when Freddie came storming inside, slamming the door behind him. Just then spotting Sam lying on the couch, Freddie glanced down in quick regret.

"Sam..." he said. "I didn't think anyone was here."

"What's wrong with you?" Sam spouted.

Freddie walked across and collapsed in the armchair. "Nothing. It just wasn't the greatest day at school today."

"Says you," Sam grinned.

Freddie gave a half-hearted attempt to smile. "Yeah, Carly filled me in on the whole blowout with Missy at school last week. You must be pretty happy."

"You bet." Sam grinned. "It kinda worked out perfectly. I'm so glad she's left on that trip. Guess that's what you're so bummed about though, huh?"

"What? No!" Freddie blanched, thinking he'd been caught out. "What... Did Carly tell you?"

"What? Tell me what?" Sam sat up.

Freddie, now satisfied that Sam didn't seem to know anything, leaned back into the couch in relief. "Nothing. Don't worry."

"No, tell me what?"

Freddie cast around for a quick lie. "That I got a B minus on my English quiz today."

Sam looked confused. "Okay, two things: A: What does English have to do with the sea-school trip? And B: Why should I care about you and your try-hard grades?"

Freddie put his hands up, nonplussed. "Never mind. I thought you were talking about school."

Sam stared at him. "You really need to get a hearing aid, Fred-ward."

"Whatever," Freddie stood up, making his way to the staircase. "I have to go and start setting up for rehearsal." He paused, and quietly turned back to Sam. "Hey, uh – I guess you didn't need my help after all, huh..."

"Damn straight. I don't even know what I was thinking." Sam stuck another mouthful of crisps into her mouth.

"Right." Freddie sounded slightly sad. "Y'know Sam, sometimes you don't have to be so tough."

Sam turned and looked at him. "What are you on about now?"

"Nothing...never mind, Sam. I'll see you upstairs." Freddie said before making his way to the studio.


Carly sat working on the script for the upcoming show when Freddie walked inside and put his bag down next to his computer module. She turned and smiled widely at him.

"Hey Freddie, what's up?"

"Besides feeling like an idiot, nothing else," Freddie said as he collapsed into a beanbag with a sigh.

"That's not good. Anything you want to talk about?" Carly frowned.

"Not really."

"Okay... Is it anything to do with that trip you won?" Carly asked.

"I told you – I didn't win it, okay? We talked about this..." Freddie spoke angrily.

"Okay, I'm sorry -"

Freddie looked at Carly accusingly. "You didn't say anything to Sam, did you?"

"You know I didn't Freddie-"

"Well, don't."

"Okay!" Carly looked hurt, and was confused at Freddie's anger. "Seriously, what's up Freddie?"

Freddie took a deep breath, and slowly let it out to try expelling his anger. "I'm sorry, Carly – I don't know what's wrong with me... but I'll let you know when I do." He blew out another breath of hot air, and bent down to grab his bag. "Listen, I'm gonna take off. I don't feel much like working today. I'll do the calibrations to catch up later."

"Okay Freddie, I'll see ya..."

"Hey!" Sam walked in just to see Freddie brush firmly past her to leave. Freddie paused to glance back at her, but didn't say anything and continued on. "What's wrong with him?" Sam asked Carly as she sat down.

Carly mused as she looked at the empty doorway. "I don't know..."


Freddie walked inside and flung his bag on the floor before collapsing onto his bed. He sighed as he put his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling.

Seriously, what was up with him today? Granted, he was now feeling bummed that he'd given up that trip, but he didn't really regret his choice – did he? His mum was certainly ecstatic that he wasn't leaving – actually, she still didn't know that he'd applied, let alone won. What had he been thinking? He didn't have to give up that awesome trip – so why do it for Sam, of all people? Missy was caught out by Carly anyway, so what he'd done was pointless. Why was he so angry?

You know why, a small voice said from deep inside his head. Actually, no, I don't, Freddie replied to himself irritably. Great Freddie, and now you're talking to yourself...

Freddie remembered how he felt when Mr Franklin congratulated him – in his own, unique way – on winning the school-at-sea prize. He'd felt scared. It was not an unusual feeling for him, so it had been easy enough to place. He hadn't expected to win, so it had come as a shock. He was not scared though, that he'd be leaving his Mum, or his school, or even iCarly. He was scared about how much he'd miss Carly and Sam. Although he and Sam never got along, when she was together with Carly, they were both his best friends. And he didn't know what he would do without them if he left; Carly, with her sweet demeanour, and even tough-as-nails Sam, although he couldn't imagine why...

Freddie could feel something niggle at his brain – something he knew; was aware of – but it was just beyond the fog in his head, just out of reach. It was something he was scared about, and the fact that he couldn't recognize it irritated him beyond relief. Therefore, he decided to calm himself and think, to try and figure out what this strange feeling was.

This 'something' must be the reason that caused him to feel scared about leaving. Something that was so foreign to him, and intimidated him so much, that he'd just buried it deep underneath everything else. Buried it so deep in his head that he'd forgotten about it. Something that so scared Freddie that he'd never admit to it... whatever 'it' was.

Freddie cast around in his head, trying to identify this unknown feeling. He wondered what it was that had made him confused and yet aware of it in the first place. He thought about Carly, and how she rejected his advances so often. He thought about Sam, her addiction to all kinds of meat, and their explosive frienemy relationship. Although he still felt a lot for Carly, Freddie is surprised to determine that it doesn't hurt nearly as much now, when she still said no to dating him. Stunned, Freddie suddenly realises that he hasn't actually made any sort of suggestive comment to Carly in several months now.

Huh, Freddie thinks, sitting up. I wasn't even aware of it. Now what did that piece of information tell him? Was he finally getting over her? Comprehending that while she was a true friend, she was in fact just a friend?

He thought about leaving Carly. Being away from her smiling face, her nice disposition towards anyone and everything. She was without a doubt, the easiest person to get along with. She was always so accommodating, ready to go out of her way to please a person. She always hated to see someone upset. If there was ever a perfect girl, then Carly was it. But perfect for him? Freddie had to admit, she was much too good for him, and therefore was almost certainly way out of his league. Best friends it is then, he grasps. Now where does that leave me?

As much as it pained him to do so, Freddie realises that that now left him with Sam; a bad joke to even consider that the reason behind his bad temper might be about her. However, the second Freddie starts contemplating Sam, the feeling automatically seems stronger. He can almost touch it from behind the veil in his head now.

Ridiculous, Freddie reckons. But I'll bite. What is it about her then? Freddie reflects on how she appeared at his door the week before, upset – it had shocked him. He'd never seen her look so... weak. He scoffs at himself. There is no way that Sam is weak.She'd beat someone up before they even managed to think about thinking that.

As if in expectation to his thoughts, Freddie looks to his door, but Sam doesn't come bursting through.

Stupid, Freddie admits. But Aargh! I'm so close – What! Freddie grabs his head in an attempt to see if pressuring it and gripping his hair would help to shed light on his problem. It doesn't.

Freddie stands up and walks to his window, frustrated. He peers down at the ground, but then his eyes are suddenly drawn to the staircase next to his windowsill. He grabs the edge and swings himself over onto the balcony. Sitting down on the stairs, he remembers that this is exactly where he was sitting when he once kissed Sam; just a relatively quick peck between friends. They had reached an agreement that it was only to just each experience their first kiss, and was to never be spoken of again.

Thinking of his conflicting emotions on that day, Freddie finally finds recognition towards the 'something,' as he puts the jigsaw together.

He suddenly feels lighter, as though a weight has been lifted off of him – as the ache he hadn't realised was in his chest lessened considerably, pulling back that dark veil of fog in his head to reveal...

'God, No! Oh - Crackers!' Freddie swore, feeling light-headed. He grips onto the railing tightly, his knees weak. No, please – Anything but that!


Smile, and review people! I'd love to know if you have any ideas you want me to add...