Oh, I know I could say we're through

And tell myself I'm over you

But even if I made a vow I promise not to miss you now

And try to hide the truth inside

I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

~Carrie Underwood 'I Just Can't Live A Lie'

It was hard for JJ, seeing Reid every day, her words that night, almost a year ago, were still haunting her. She loved him. She felt it every time he came near. The proof was there in her thundering heartbeat, her flip-flopping stomach, her sweaty palms. The proof was in the way her breath caught, the way her heart melting, and the lightning that burned through her whenever they touched.

But she had rejected him, in a hotel hallway, almost a year ago. She had told him that she and Will were going to make it work, that they were going to make it work, for the sake of Henry. What she hadn't told anyone, was that it wasn't working. Will was a great father, but any spark that had ever been between them was gone. When she was home for a night, she went to bed beside a stranger, then she ate breakfast with that stranger.

Her only escape was work, and that was another form of hell. He was so close, but so far away. So unattainable. She loved him, and she knew he still loved her, but she couldn't be with him. She couldn't dump Henry on him. She just couldn't do that to Spence. He was still young, he didn't need to take care of a baby, much less a baby that wasn't his.

And yet, he would look at her, and she would feel that warmth, a warmth that she had never felt with Will. That warmth told her that Spence would want her, no matter what. He would take her, her strings, and her baby. He would take her at her best, and at her worst, and all the moments in between. He would want her in those intimate moments, and when they were in the middle of a fight, he would still want her.

JJ put her head on her desk and moaned. Things were spiraling out of control. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't just up and leave Will, he was the one taking care of Henry, the three of them were living on her salary. He'd quit his job and moved, for her, for their family. JJ also knew that if they continued on this path, they would end up hating each other. There was a knock at the door, interrupting her train of thought.

It was Spence, possibly the last person in the world she wanted to see right now.

"I was about to go home when I noticed your light was still on. Are you okay?"

JJ smiled. "Fine. Why are you here so late?"

"Paperwork, I think Emily has been slipping me files again."

"I'd give her extra, but they'd probably just end up on you." The two laughed, and then silenced filled the room.

JJ took a deep breath. She felt that if Spence left tonight and she didn't do anything, she would lose him forever, she needed to take the plunge. She needed to have him. "Spence, the night the team found out I was pregnant, do you remember what I said to you in the hall?"

'"I love you, Spence, you know that right? I love you so much it hurts, but I can't be with you, no matter how much I want too. I have to work things out with Will, for the sake of my family, for the sake of this baby. I hope you understand."' Reid quoted.

"I was wrong."

"About what?" He looked at her suspiciously, and JJ remembered the beginning of her speech, she'd said she loved him.

"About making it work with Will. I tried, we both tried, but it wasn't enough. He's Henry's father, and I want them to have a good relationship, but Will is a stranger to me, now. I don't know what happened to us, but, it's gone, whatever we had was gone. And, I think it was mostly my fault."

Spence didn't say anything, but he came closer, moving out of the doorway.

"I made myself believe that if I were with Will, I would stop loving you. That you would become a friend again, but it didn't. I loved you more, if that was possible, and if you want me, then I want us to try."

Spence looked up, studying her face. "If?" he asked. "If I want you? I thought you knew that I would love you. There's no if, ands or buts in this, it unconditional. Of course I want you, you're all I've ever wanted."

JJ hoped she wasn't crying when she stood and sat in his lap, pulling him down for a kiss.

I heard the lyrics and it just happened. I don't own Criminal Minds or the song I Just Can't Live A Lie by Carrie Underwood. Hope you like it enough to review!

~DI4MGZ~