Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.
It was becoming more obvious that this wasn't the same Kate that Castle knew. As she was taken for her tests Castle and Jim were told that they had to stay there, in her room, without Kate. Kate's reaction was the most screaming as as soon as she had to let go of their hands and she was being moved away she began to have a panic attack, all the monitors beating faster her breathing became faster she began to shake but was the most painful of them all to watch was the terrified look on her face and when she tried to scream but it came out breathless and croaky. The doctors were confused but just walked faster thinking they could fix it when they could see what was happening during the tests. But that proved useless when she couldn't even remain still and at this point she was in hysterics screaming "Daddy" and "Rick". She made it impossible for the doctors to do their jobs and so eventually they had to sedate her. Her eyes fluttering closed her lips still moving trying to still call for the most important men in her life. Kate's actions confused the doctors and they came up with everything they could, it wasn't amnesia because she remembered everything, this left the doctors confused. There appeared to be nothing physically wrong with Kate Beckett but the doctors still needed to get an MRI and as everyone prayed that she was okay, that there wasn't any long term damage, Kate Beckett was once again in the hallway where all her best and memories were and she smiled fondly at them, she smiled fondly at the memories with Castle.
The doctors told the two men how they had to sedate Kate, how she called for them, how she couldn't stop shaking and how there appeared to be nothing physically wrong with her and he was going to take her for an MRI in a few days.
Jim and Rick took their place's beside her again, each taking a hand and staring at her, knowing she wouldn't wake up for another few hours but not caring. This woman was one of the most precious people in each of their lives. They listened to the steady beating of the monitors, telling them that she was okay, the watched her chest move up and down as she breathed, proof she was still alive, and the observed the pale skin of her face, her chapped lips and the way her eyes flickered almost as if she is dreaming, and this reminded them that they almost didn't have her, didn't have her hand to hold, didn't have the monitors to reassure them that she was okay and they wouldn't of had her breathing to tell them that she is alive. Because she almost wasn't, she actually died, and that thought caused the constant worry that had been in their eyes since Kate was shocked, both men's hair was sticking up in all angles as they have ran their hands through it so many times out of frustration because they just wanted her to wake up, they both had stubble forming on their jaws where they both refuse to leave her side in case something happens. Both men slowly fell to the bed, their heads resting at her hips as they place their heads facing her because they don't want to miss anything. But days of exhaustion was still there and they eventually fell asleep listening to Kate's soft breaths and the constant monitors and is told them, everything was eventually be okay.
Kate began to wake up a few hours later as her eyes fluttered open and all she could look at was the blank ceiling. She squeezed both men's hands and they both looked up at her "Please can I sit up a little ?" She asked shyly.
"We'll ask the doctors Katie, how're you feeling ?" Jim said as he leaned over to look into his daughters eyes.
"The same" she said and then smiled to reassure him.
Kate's behaviour was both worrying and relieving for Jim. He was worried because Katie is never like this, she hides her anger and acts like she can face everything alone, she hides her pain always lying if something hurts and most of all she has never showed her fear and how much she needs them so openly, it's like she is a different person but still Kate. He was relieved because she wasn't hiding her pain and she was actually showing people that she needed them, she wasn't running cause she didn't want to people to see her vulnerable. Because this Katie is the little girl he remembers running around and when she scraped her knee she would come to him to make everything better. Jim pressed together and asked if she could be sat up a little and the nurses went to get the doctor.
"Hello Kate how're you feeling ?" He asked happily.
"About the same but I would really appreciate being able to sit up please." She said nicely and without any demand in her voice. Castle's eye brows raised slightly as he looked at Jim. This was the same women who demanded he stay in the car, demanded he always be there without actually saying it, and this is the woman who demanded his heart without even knowing it.
Over the next 20 minutes they worked on sitting Kate up a little bit so she could actually look around the room, could talk to people properly. Kate smiled when she was finally able to sit up, even though it hurt slightly she was happy that she could see Castle and her dad and not just their heads. The nurses and doctor left after making sure everything was okay. Leaving two men staring at Kate live she was precious, like they would never see her again.
"How're are you guys ?" She asked quietly resting her head again the propped up pillows.
"We're good Katie how're you ?" Jim asked.
"I'm good, glad you guys are here." She smiled sweetly at them. She turned to look at Castle and smiled at him, just taking in hiss features, his too blue eyes, the stubble of his jaw, the relieve sigh on his lips and the furrow of his eyebrows, both relieved and worried. 'This man', she thought, 'this man is worth so much to me and he doesn't even realize it.' She closed her eyes for a few moments but there were snippets coming back from the shooting, the clear sky, the green grass and the gun shot which made her flinch. She opened her eyes to see the worried expression on each of their faces "Don't worry, I'm just getting little snippets of the shooting." She heard a sharp gasp from Castle and turned to look at him, his eyes glassy.
"What do you remember ?" He asked almost painfully.
"The sky, the grass and the gun shot." She said and she saw Castle's shoulder deflate slightly and he looked away. "I think we should all go to the hamptons one day."
They both looked at her in surprise. "The hamptons ?" Castle asked.
"Yeah all of us, dad, you, Alexis, Martha, the guys and Lanie. Everyone. It would be so much fun, we can take walks on the beach, watch movies and even play games."
"You sure Katie ?" Jim asked looking from his daughter to Rick.
"Absouloutley." She smiled at the both of them.
"I'll see what I can do." Castle said as he dropped her hand and went to go call people but it was her voice that stopped him. She sounded so scared.
Kate Beckett was different that much was obvious but it had yet to become clear that she wasn't just different, something was wrong. She remembered her dreams in her unconscious state, especially during surgery. She remembered begging, bargaining for her life. And she remembered all the promises she had made and even though know one knew yet, she intended to keep those promises and more. Because in her mind those promises are what kept her alive so why wouldn't she keep them ?
"What day is it ?" She asked, looking between the two men.
"Saturday." Jim replied.
"Can we go to church tomorrow ?" She asked looking at her dad with so much hope in her eyes. He could see that she was hoping he would say yes but he didn't know if she would be allowed, if she was even able to leave her room. And then Jim was confused, they hadn't gone to church since she was 16 after deciding that she didn't want to go anymore, so why did she want to go ? And then he looked back to her again and he saw that same hopeful face that she had when she was six years old and asking for her first bike. He remembers it like it was yesterday, her long curly hair in pigtails and she was wearing a nice summer dress with flowers on, something else people didn't know about his Katie is that she loved to wear dresses especially when she was younger because they made her feel like a princess and she was to him, she would always be his princess, and he remembered as she stood looking up at him, her hands behind her back as she swayed side to side so her dress would sway to, and she asked him for a pink back with a basket so she could show her dolls around the garden and up and down the street and to the park when they went together for family picnics. He couldn't say no then and he most certainly can't say no now.
"I'll ask the doctor when he come in." He said thinking that the doctor wouldn't be back until tonight when she was fast asleep so if she couldn't go he hopefully would never have to see the disappointment in her eyes. But just at that moment the doctor walked in and he saw her face light up.
"Go on Dad you said you'd ask." Kate said excitedly with a beaming smile on her face and Jim breathed out heavily and smiled back at her before turning back to the doctor ith an almost pleading look in his eyes because he couldn't stand to see his daughter hurt, but he couldn't bare seeing his daughter both hurt and disappointed.
"Doctor Katie would like to know if she can go to church tomorrow ?" He said. The doctor looked like he was deep in thought.
"I don't this that will be possible Kate." And everyone in the room could see her smile fade as the heart monitors started to speed up along with her breathing. The doctor's eyebrows furrowed as he moved over to her looking at the monitors then looking back at her. "Miss Beckett I need you to take a few deep breaths please." He said worry evident in his voice and he took his stethoscope and but it on her back and then her chest.
"Please, please can I go." She said desperately but it came out breathy as she couldn't breath properly, her breathing becoming faster and faster.
"Miss Beckett I don't think that will be possible you can't even walk yet or raise your arms without being in pain." The heart monitors got louder and faster, Kate lost the little colour she had regained.
"Can't...the pastor...come here ?" She asked her sentence broken, her vision blurry, she was fading.
There was a moment of silence, well as silent as it could be with all the monitors going off, nurses running into the room, going to the end of the bed with the same look of confusion. Kate was looking into the doctors eyes and he could see the desperation in them and he nodded and just like that the monitors slowed down, Kate stopped shaking and her breathing slowed down and she slowly relaxed. Cause she was going to church, or well church was coming to her.
