First things first: All the characters in these classic fairy tales will be replaced with Smashers, my original characters, and characters from other game/anime series that appeared in my past stories.
Story 1: 3 Little Pigs
Somewhere out in the countryside lived a mother and her three piglets that had already grown up to be big pigs and look rather juicy.
The names of the pigs are as follows, from youngest to oldest: Jigglypuff, Yoshi, and Kirby. Their mother is known as Crazy Mom, who is in fact Crazy Hand cleverly disguised as a sow (female pig).
One day, Crazy Mom gathered his… I mean her children in front of her and said to them, "My children, it is time that you go out there and live by yourself. This is the cycle of life and is inevitable. Gather your stuffs and go out there and find a girlfriend, marry, do stuff in bed, have babies, and then die in peace."
Being very obedient children, they replied, "We will, mom."
After packing their stuffs, the 3 pigs say good-bye to their mom and they hug and weep in others shoulder one last time before setting off into the dangerous world outside.
When the children are long gone and out of sight, Crazy Mom dances around happily and drank booze, and then went off to do what she always wanted to do—a prostitute.
-
The three pigs stop at a large field to rest for a while and also to discuss their plans. "So let us part ways here then," says Kirby. "We will build ourselves houses and live our own lives afterwards."
"Of course, we'll still keep in touch with each other," says Yoshi.
"Let us meet again," says Jigglypuff.
So it is decided; the siblings wave good-bye to each other and went separate ways.
First, we focus our attention on Jigglypuff as she walks her own way. "I need house," she though. "I lazy to build big house, so I build small house."
She decides to use straws to build her house, as it is simplest kind she can think of. She ran to the nearest barn and asked the farmer, the landlady of 10 Lives Apartment, for some straw, but being a stingy woman that she is, the landlady kicked her out and Jigglypuff went off empty handed.
But she is not going to give up here. Jigglypuff went off to other barns and asked for more. No matter where she went, she always got the same result… "NO!"
In the end, Jigglypuff sat down on a rock and wonders what to do without any straws. She then lifts up her eyes and sees a shop right in front of her. Then a great idea came into her head. She runs into the shop and bought all the drinking straws there, using all the money she has. Since the straws are really cheap, she easily bought enough straws to build a house.
"You're a heavy buyer!" exclaims Ms. Doublefinger, the shop owner.
And so, Jigglypuff built her house made of drinking straw and situated it somewhere out in the open field. Who cares if she has no money? She can go to her brothers and ask for some, or maybe she can find a job or even steal money.
-
Now we focus on Yoshi as he ponders about his house. "I will build a medium-sized house out of wood," he thought. "It will be big enough to fit me and my foods."
He goes to the nearest forest and decides to chop down woods, but then realizes that he doesn't have any axe. Luckily, he encountered Marth, the wandering swordsman, and after some pleading, Marth agrees to help Yoshi cut down the trees.
And so, things went fast with Marth's amazing sword skills. The trees fell down one by one like a domino and not to mention in neat wooden boards. When Yoshi offered to pay Marth, the swordsman turned it down, saying that he helps out of kindness, not money.
Yoshi begins building his house. Things were not easy however; building a house is much tougher than he thought! Luckily, he ran into Boss and workers, who happen to be passing by, and got them to build him a nice wooden house in return for payment.
If you read Times in 10 Lives Apartment, you would know what kind of person Boss. It's going to take a long time to finish the house…
-
So while Yoshi's house is still being built, we go and focus on the oldest pig Kirby. Being the smartest (and greediest) of the bunch, he decides to make his house strong and durable. "I should make my house out of metal," he thought, but then rejected the idea because a metal house wouldn't look pleasing. He came to the idea of making it out of brick, so he set off to look for bricks.
After a while of searching, he came across a space jet fighter known as Vic Viper, carrying a large wagon of bricks behind him.
"May I have those bricks?" Kirby asks him. "I need it to build a house."
"Sure, you can have it," replies Vic Viper in a computerized voice. "I was wondering when will someone take this burden away from me so I can fly freely back into space."
"Wait a minute; you didn't appear in any of Game2002's past stories, did you?"
"True, guess I'm the black sheep around here… But did you know that I'm going to have a role in Rise of the Negativities as an arc helper?"
"Didn't know that."
"Maybe I'm here to advertise for that story. Hope you look forward to it!"
"Okay!"
So Kirby got the bricks from Vic Viper for free, and then the jet fighter soared off into the sky and disappeared from sight.
And so, Kirby set off to build his brick house.
-
Things went smoothly afterwards, until a week later…
Jigglypuff is in her straw house counting money that she earned from singing. Of course, her audiences would always fall asleep, but then she would secretly take their moneys and run off before they wake up.
Unknown to her, someone evil is going to show up very soon…
Out of the bushes, a fox named Fox (how uncreative) steps out from the bushes and is feeling hungry. "I'm hungry," he said. "I think I'll have chicken." So he went off to have chicken and we learn that he is not the bad guy of this story.
After a while, Jabura of the CP9 step out from the bushes and decided to eat pork for lunch. So he went to the straw house and kicked it down using Rankyaku, and so Jigglypuff is killed and is eaten. And thus the end of the story.
Just kidding, the above part is only for laughs. Hahahaha…
A big bad bird known as Falco step out from the bushes after taking a squat, and he says, "I'm hungry! I wanna have pork for lunch!" Then he smells pork and goes off in that direction until he came to the straw house.
He goes up to the door and knocks it, but the door came tumbling down. "Who are you?" asks Jigglypuff.
"I'm the big bad bird and I'm here to eat you," replies Falco.
"Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!"
"Yes!!!!!!!!"
Falco charges into the house and goes after Jigglypuff, who frantically avoids him and rushes out the house through the flimsy wall. She keeps on running for her life with Falco behind her. Since she obviously can't outrun him, she used Rollout to roll away to safety, towards the direction of Yoshi's stick house.
-
Yoshi cannot get any happier than this. After one whole week, his stick house is at last finished! "Finally!" he exclaims. "I have a place to live in at last! Now to hunt for food."
Suddenly, Jigglypuff comes rolling like a bowling ball and hits Yoshi, and together they crash through the door and into the house, making a huge mess in there.
CRAAAAAASHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
"Hi, Jiggly…" mumbles Yoshi. "You made a fine mess…"
"Help me!" cries Jigglypuff. "Bad bird want to eat me!"
They both look out the window and sees Falco running towards them like mad. They let out a scream and then run out from the house via the window. Falco rushes into the house and kicks through the wall on the other side and continues chasing them.
-
Meanwhile, Kirby is in his brick house relaxing. "I wonder what my little brother and sister are up to?" he wonders. Then he hears a loud banging on the house's steel door, so he goes to open it and sees the two out there panting heavily. "Hey guys! I was just thinking about you!"
"Help us!" cries Yoshi. "A big bad bird wants to eat us!"
"O RLY?"
"YA RLY!"
"NO WAI!" So Kirby quickly let the two in.
"He's here!" shouts Jigglypuff, pointing towards Falco who is running towards them very fast.
"We're dead!" cries Yoshi. Kirby quickly shuts and locks the heavy steel door.
"Pork!!!!!" shouts Falco loudly, and he performs a flying kick at the door, but he stopped when he foot lands against the steel door. "YEOW!!!!!!"
"Nobody can get through my steel door!" taunts Kirby from inside.
So the three of them remained inside the house, and everything seems to be going fine. All of a sudden, the wall bursts open and Falco is finally inside. "Finally…" he growls. "I'm going to eat you all!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" scream Yoshi and Jigglypuff.
"But not without a fight first!" says Kirby bravely. He jumps forward and performs a flying kick towards Falco.
Falco uses his arms to block the kick and smacks Kirby to the side. He then pounces towards Kirby to get him, but Kirby quickly back flips into the air and kicked Falco in the chin in the process. Immediately afterwards, Kirby punches him rapidly in the face over and over, and then grabs him by the beak and slams him overhead into the ground.
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!
"Wow! That was amazing!" exclaim the other two pigs.
"Rar! I'm going to get you for this!" growls Falco angrily as he gets back up. He reaches both his hand forward to grab Kirby, but the pink puffball jumped into the air before he got caught and lands on top of Falco's head and pushes his face into the dirt, and then proceeds to 'tap dance' on his back.
Falco forcefully got back up, much to Kirby's surprise, and made him fall over to the ground. He swings his leg at Kirby and kicks him away into a tree, causing several apples to fall down. Falco then runs towards Kirby to get him, but Kirby counterattacked by throwing the apples in his direction; however, it did not stop the big bad bird from traveling forward. Kirby quickly sucks up the remaining apples and then spit them all out at Falco, and the resulting impact sent the bird crashing backwards.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!
Surprisingly, Falco stood back up again! "You're really asking for it!" growls Falco. "I'm going to kill you!"
"Bring it on!" says Kirby, getting into fighting stance.
Falco runs towards Kirby, but this time his body catching fire. "Fire Bird!" Falco changes into a fireball and shot forward really fast and rams into Kirby with full force, making the puffball flying backwards and smashing right through the tree.
CRAAAAASH!!!!!
"KIRBY!!!!!!!!" gasp the two other pigs.
"You guys are next!" says Falco, turning to their direction.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"I'm not done yet!" says Kirby as he gets back up. He quickly runs towards his house and jumps in through the window. Once in there, he quickly got a cauldron and heats it up and adds all sorts of spicy mixture into it. "You guys try to hold him off until I'm done!"
"We have no choice!" says Yoshi.
"I fight!" says Jigglypuff. The two of them jump at Falco and grabs onto his body to prevent his movement.
"Let go!" shouts Falco as he tries to shake them off.
"Kirby! Quick!" cries Yoshi as he tries his best to restrain the evil bird.
"Almost done!" says Kirby as he continues to heat the cauldron.
Falco keeps on shaking himself until the two finally got knocked off. "Now you guys are dead!" he growls.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" cry the two.
"I'm done!" shouts Kirby. He stands in front of the cauldron and then using all his might, sucks in the whole thing into his mouth! He turns to Falco's direction and runs towards him.
"You're going to die no matter how hard you struggle! I'm going to eat you all no matter what!" says Falco. When Kirby got near him, Falco delivers a kick, but Kirby quickly avoided it by jumping onto the house's roof. Falco follows him up there and delivers several punches and kicks, but for some reason, Kirby continues to store the contents in his mouth and not even fight back.
Finally, the bird lands a successful kick into Kirby and sends him flying up high into the air while spinning around, and Falco jumps into the air after him. "You're finished!" he shouts.
In the last moment, Kirby opens his mouth and shoots out the entire content—a huge spiraling blast of fireball!
"What?!" gasps Falco. The spinning fireball impacts into his body and pushes him towards the earth below like a meteor entering Earth's atmosphere. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The fireball crashes into the ground several yards from the brick house and results in a large explosion.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yoshi and Jigglypuff watch the whole scene with wide open eyes and mouths, totally amazed at what their brother just did.
Kirby drops back onto the ground and sighs. "Win, at last…"
To make a long story short, that was the end of the big bad bird Falco. The three little pigs lived happily ever afterwards.
As for their mother Crazy Mom, I'll just tell you that business went bad.
END OF STORY
No offense to Falco fans.
Well, how do you like it? Surely a more action packed twist to the classical story, right? I hope you leave behind nice reviews, and no swearing please.
And yes, Vic Viper, the main protagonist of Gradius, is going to be in Rise of the Negativities. He's the only one here who has not appeared in any of my past stories. I will make mention of this if any characters like him show up again.
