"Hey, Spock."

Spock opened one eye slowly. It took a moment, but when he saw Jim's face at the door he realized where he was.

"Captain. It is quite early." Spock said, glancing over at the clock on the wall. It was barely 0600 hours.

"Yeah, I know. Bones is still sleeping." Jim whispered, checking the room behind him quickly before closing the door. "I brought you a treat."

"That was quite unnecessary, Captain." Spock said, watching as Jim pulled the built-in table out of the side of Spock's bed.

Jim laid out a tray complete with the sandwich Spock assumed was the grilled cheese, a couple pieces of fruit and finally a glass of some indeterminate juice.

"Thank you, Sir, but I am certain that I will be brought breakfast by one of the nurses." Spock said, glancing from the breakfast to Jim.

"Yeah, but I thought I might as well do something nice for you. Least I can do and everything." Jim said, clearling his throat. "And can't you call me Jim?"

Spock had to admit, the smell of the warm sandwich was quite pleasant. "Yes, I suppose I could."

"I didn't know if you liked ketchup with it. I know some people do." Jim shrugged.

"I have never had ketchup." Spock replied, glancing around for a knife and fork. With a sinking feeling, he remembered that humans often ate sandwiches with their hands. It looked rather greasy.

"Jim, did you bring any cutlery?" Spock asked.

"Just a spoon for the fruit. It's a sandwich! Just pick it up and eat it!" Jim laughed, fishing a plastic spoon out of the pocket of the sweater he was wearing over his uniform.

Spock eyed it suspiciously and decided it may be more hygienic to eat with his own hands after all. Tentatively, Spock lifted the sandwich and took a bite. It was instant heaven and the taste brought back a rush of memory almost instantly.

"I remember now." Spock murmured, finishing the sandwich in a matter of bites. "Grilled cheese."

"Yeah! I thought you might. I know you try to hide how much you love them." Jim laughed.

"Quite delicious, Capt – Jim." Spock smiled, catching himself in time.

"I'm glad. And you're looking quite a bit better." Jim said, peering at Spock's face and head.

"Thank you. I am feeling much better than last night." Spock said, realizing that the pain in his ribs had decreased to something akin to muscle ache. "The doctor is quite skilled."

"Don't let him catch you saying that, or we'll never deflate that head of his." Jim said, glancing over his shoulder at the clock.

"Pardon me, Jim?" Spock asked, not quite understanding the metaphor.

"Just means the man's egotistical." Jim said with a conspiratorial smile.

"I see." Spock nodded, picking up a small berry with his fingers and popping it into his mouth.

"Alright, I'm going to do my rounds and when I get back, I hope you're sleeping." Jim said, pointing a finger at Spock.

"I will do my best." Spock nodded, watching as Jim left, shutting the door behind him.

Spock was touched by Jim's gesture of kindness. He had never been brought breakfast before by anyone but his parents or nurses. It was a pleasant start to the day.

"Hey, I thought I said to not let him in here!"

Spock looked up as Dr. McCoy pushed into his room.

"Dr. McCoy, I admit that there was nothing I could do to make him leave. It is illogical to assume that with my wounds I could physically remove him." Spock stated, his juice halfway to his mouth. "Is it not your job to keep people away from your patients?"

McCoy raised an eyebrow, his mouth pressed tightly together.

"He seemed in fine spirits this morning." Spock said, realizing he may have come across as rude.

"Yeah, But I'm 90% sure he stayed up all night." McCoy sighed.

"I apologize, Doctor, but it is not my fault that the Captain did not sleep." Spock said, confused by the doctor's irrational behaviour.

Instead of responding, McCoy shot Spock a glance, "Now sit up and let me give you a bit of a painkiller."


The rest of the day went extremely slowly. He was recovering quickly, however, with regular injections from Dr. McCoy. It had been several hours since the antidote had been administered yet he still remembered very little. He had flipped through the PADD again several times, trying to refresh his memory but it was of no use. Even though he had listened to many of the early logs only last night they had not stuck with him. He had a vague inkling of a run-in with Romulans some yearsa go, but he had no memory of anything more.

He had had plenty of chance to contemplate his environment, however. From his private room he had had the chance to observe Dr. McCoy as he did his rounds. The doctor had not been mistaken; Sick Bay was practically overflowing with injured crewmembers. To his disappointment, Spock could not identify a single face as they came through the Sick Bay doors. Spock had realized by now that he was this ship's First Officer. Knowing himself as well as he did, he knew that he would have made an extra effort to learn all the names of his subordinates regardless of how many were onboard. There was no guarantee that all his memory would come back. It may come back partially, or fully. But for now, Spock was about as useful to the Enterprise as the day he had been assigned to her.

In an effort to stimulate the reconstruction of his neural pathways, Spock had programmed the PADD with several Vulcan mind games. He had spent the large part of the day either in quiet observation of the goings-on in Sick Bay or in playing number games. While he played, he found his mind drifting back to Jim. For a captain of such a large ship, Jim certainly seemed preoccupied with his condition. Spock had been informed that the captain intended to visit him later that evening and that if his condition allowed it, take him on a short walk around the ship tomorrow morning. While Spock knew that Jim considered him a close friend, he could not help but feel guilty that he did not remember much, if any, of the time they had spent together over the last several years. It had seemed to him rather overly-intimate to visit him so early in the morning. Spock could not deny, however, that he had been touched by Jim's gesture.

Almost as if the thought had summoned him, Jim knocked at the door. When he stepped into the room, Spock put the PADD away.

"Captain." Spock said, making an attempt to sit up in bed.

"Wow, you look like a new vulcan." Jim said with a grin, peering at Spock in fascination.

Spock raised an eyebrow. He had not bothered to look in a mirror since this morning. Jim picked the mirror up from his bedside table and passed it to him. Looking in, Spock noticed that the open wounds had completely vanished and had been replaced by fresh, new skin. While looking a bit green where the new flesh had grown in, he looked much more himself. He was, however, still missing his eyebrow and he found the effect, admittedly... disturbing.

"The miracles of modern medicine." Jim said, sitting down in the chair next to Spock's bed.

"I must look rather frightening to you." Spock said handing Jim back the mirror.

"A bit." Jim shrugged. "How're your ribs?"

Spock felt them tentatively with his hand. "I am almost completely without pain, but pressing on them is uncomfortable."

"Remind me to buy Bones a bottle of Bourbon." Jim said, crossing his legs at the ankles and leaning back.

"Forgive me, Captain, but where would one buy Earth liquor in deep space?" Spock asked, lacing his fingers together.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Jim smiled.

"I am certain that I would be." Spock said.

"There are some freighters that come out this far. In the name of Bourbon I'm sure there isn't much that Bones wouldn't do."

"I would tend to agree with you." Spock said, slightly surprised that he remembered that connection.

"Memory's coming back." Jim observed.

"It would appear that way." Spock said, his brow slightly furrowed.

"What's wrong?" Jim piped up.

"Ah..." Spock realized the expression he had been making. "It would appear that the lack of meditation is making it hard for me to control myself."

"You were barely even frowning." Jim replied.

"It is shameful to display emotion in the presence of one's superior." Spock stated simply.

Jim's jaw tensed, but he said nothing.

"As to what is bothering me, I can be more explicit." Spock said, looking up from his hands. "I am remembering certain things better than others."

"Like what?" Jim asked, looking up at Spock.

"I can recall a man named Nero and a conflict with... Romulans?" Spock said tentatively. "However I do not recognize anyone other than you and Dr. McCoy. I have been watching all day and observing rank. I know that there are several people on board I should instantly recognize. I can not."

"Spock, I don't think you realize the shape we found you in." Jim said slowly. "What happened with the Romulans happened four years ago. I'll tell you more about that later, it's a bit of a mind-bender. Especially for you... Both of you..."

"Both of me?" Spock asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, see what I mean? I'll explain it all later. But we found you half-dead. If your heart was where a human's was, you would have been dead. For certain. It's a miracle you can speak let alone remember something that happened four years ago. I just don't want you worrying about it." Jim said, leaning forward.

"It is imperative that I learn. I am your First Officer." Spock replied.

Jim sighed deeply and looked down at his feet. "Not right now."

Spock looked onwards, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Sulu's taken over your duties for you until you recover." Jim said heavily.

Spock nodded. "I am sure he is a competent officer."

"Very much so." Jim nodded. "Look, it's only until your memory comes back and you recover."

"It is protocol that no officer serve compromised. I am not insulted." Spock said.

Jim looked skeptical. "You forget how well I know you."

Spock held Jim's gaze for a moment before breaking away. "It is logical for me to be replaced under my condition."

"You haven't been replaced." Jim said with a small sigh.

Spock fell quiet. "I apologize for putting you in this situation."

"Spock, don't." Jim said, leaning forward in his chair. He looked as if he were about to reach forward for Spock, but he changed his mind. "If you had died you would have died a hero at your post. You saved a lot of people."

"It was my duty. There is no heroism in duty." Spock replied.

"I know a lot of people who would disagree with you." Jim said, with a look of such warmth it triggered something inside Spock.

"Jim, I do not remember you." Spock blurted out.

Jim froze, a look of deep hurt etched onto his face. "I know."

"I remember you as an insolent cadet who cheated on my test. That is all." Spock continued to talk even though he knew he should stop. "I know that I should remember you as a friend and as a Captain but all I remember is you being left behind in the docking bay."

Jim nodded. "I don't expect you to."

"I know I should, Jim, but when I look at you it is impossible. There is something stopping me from recollecting your memory." Spock said, realizing he was hurting the Captain. He knew now that something was wrong; he could not stop talking.

Jim looked down at the floor. "Spock..."

"I remember thinking you were under-qualified and simply benefiting from sentimental favouritism from Pike due to your father's death." Spock knew he had crossed a line.

Jim stood up. "That's enough, Spock. I get it."

"I want to know you but looking at you makes me angry." Spock said suddenly.

Jim looked up at the ceiling, turned on his heel and left without saying anything.

What had he done?