Ivy couldn't stand it anymore. Harley had been crying over the creep for an entire week! "Harley, shut up about the clown!" That just made her louder if that was even possible.

Harley was eating a tub of mint chip ice cream and watching chick flicks. Her clown makeup was running down her face and her eyes were red and puffy. She's pathetic, thought Ivy. "I can't help it Red. Why would he cheat on me? On our anniversary?" Harley took another mouthful of ice cream. Ivy sat down and wiped Harley's tears. "You are a smart, kind, and beautiful girl. You don't need that clown, forget about him." Harley stopped crying and sat a little straighter. "You're right. In fact I'm forgetting what I found attractive about him. Sure he has lovely green eyes. Yes he has a smile that warms me up. His big strong arms that make me feel safe..." Harley started crying again. Oh brother, thought Ivy.


The Joker was in his office drawing some blueprints. The current henchmen were watching TV and drinking sodas. Kate Swanson, the Joker's new girlfriend came out of her bedroom. She wore a red nightgown and started toward the office. She reached the door, but Mo, Larry, and Cur stopped her from going in. "Get out of my way!" she screamed. Boy, she's as loud as Harley was, thought all three henchmen. "Don't interrupt the boss while he's busy," said Mo. Kate rolled her eyes and pushed her way into the office. The men thought about going in to get her, but they were afraid the boss would take his anger out on them.

"Oh honey bunch, I thought you could take a break! How about I give you a neck massage?" said Kate wrapping her arms around the Joker from behind. He ignored her and kept working. "Come on sugar plum." She started covering his face with kisses. The Joker turned to her and pushed her roughly to the floor. "I'm busy!" He immediately went back to his plans. Kate got up and dusted herself off. She tried getting his attention again. "Please pooh bear! Let me put a smile on your face," she said seductively. Suddenly she grabbed his face and kissed him right on the mouth. Something just snapped in his mind. He didn't even understand why, but he slapped her, causing her to fall.

Kate cowered away from the Joker. He was seething with anger. "If I wanted to take a break I would have!" He grabbed her by the hair and slapped her again. "I don't like you kissing me while I work!" He turned away. Kate stood up again. "But puddin', why?" Joker flinched at the word puddin' and ignored her question. Kate put his anger, the ignoring, and the flinching together. It all clicked into place and everything was clear to her. Now it was her turn to be angry.

"I know why you won't let me kiss you! Why you lashed out! You miss Harley!" shouted Kate at the top of her lungs. She was so angry that the Joker took a step back before answering her. "I do not miss that blonde twit!" Kate started crying, ran to her room, and shut the door loudly. Joker ran after her. He tried to open the door but it was locked. "Pooh, come on out. I'm sorry I hurt you." All of a sudden the door flew open hitting Joker in the face. Kate walked out with her suitcase. At the door Joker grabbed her by the arm. "Why are you leaving?!" Kate glared at him. "You love Harley! That's why you avoid cuddling with me whenever you can. It's the only explanation for your behavior! Am I wrong?!" Joker stared at the floor. "I don't-" Kate cut him off. "Don't lie to yourself! Goodbye Joker." Kate hailed a cab and left.

Joker stood there for a moment thinking about what she said. "I don't love Harley. I don't love. I'm the Joker for God's sake! He then noticed the henchmen looking at him. "What are you staring at!?" They went back to watching the TV. Next time I see Kate, she's dead! How dare she think I'm capable of love. Of course I'm not...am I?


PLEASE REVIEW! GOOD OR BAD. I NEED TO KNOW! ANYTHING I SHOULD FIX LET ME KNOW!