Fukai Negai- Deep Wish

Hi everyone! Sorry for not updating again...I'm going to give you a warning now—I think the time I'll be updating most frequently is around every two to three months. I have two other stories running, and I tend to get caught up in other things, like school and art. Thanks SO much to everyone who reviewed!

To AnonymousT: Thanks so much for your critique! I really needed that—I'll try adding more feeling to the writing, and I did go back and fix the bet after reading your review. I'll also try to work on my format. Thanks a lot!

Chapter 2: That Smile

"You've got to be kidding me," Eriol rasped into the phone quietly, partially because of disbelief and partially because of his sore throat. Stay home for one day and I miss all of this, he thought to himself. He was lying in bed, still recovering from a particularly bad cold. His cat, Spinel, jumped onto the bed, mewing and rubbing up against his arm, demanding attention. He patted Spinel absentmindedly.

"Why the hell would I kid you about something like this?" Syaoran said from the other line.

Eriol laughed, which brought about another round of coughing; Syaoran waited patiently for him to finish and muttered something about lozenges.

"Sorry about that," Eriol gasped. "But Sakura Kinomoto? I mean, come on! You could've done a lot better. I don't think I've ever even heard her speak before. And she kind of looks like she'll grow up to be an old, dusty librarian or something."

"Yeah, I know. But the deal was the next girl to ask me out, and...Sakura was the next girl."

"And I had such high hopes for you."

Syaoran scoffed. "Would you quit teasing me? I can't help it that she's the one who asked me out. Anyway, how do you even know about her? I'd never even heard of her until she talked to me."

"I went to middle school with her. I never actually talked to her, but she seemed okay then, just a little quiet. But she got kind of weird in high school," Eriol said, shrugging as if Syaoran could see him.

"Hmm. That's interesting," Syaoran said absentmindedly. "Anyway, are you well enough to go to school on Monday?"

"Sadly, yes."

"All right, then I'll see you at school. I have to go practice, and then I have to go on that dreaded date."

Eriol grinned. "Good luck."

He hung up the phone and lay back on his bed. His mind was spinning with what Syaoran had just told him—the bet...Yamazaki going to college...a date with, of all the girls available in their school, Sakura Kinomoto...and he wondered, very briefly, in the back of his mind, if Yamazaki would end up going to college—if it would actually work out for Syaoran.

Yeah, right. He sighed and felt himself drifting off to sleep.


Syaoran walked through the dark, cold mansion towards the south wing, where the training grounds were. He hated living somewhere so large. It was annoying to have to spend minutes walking across his house to get a snack from the kitchen and back to his room.

It was freezing outside, but Syaoran ignored it and stepped into the center of the main training grounds. After stretching, he began to practice, his mind focused on his every movement. It was usually so easy to keep his mind on what he was doing, but for some reason, it seemed to be the hardest thing to do today.

His mind kept drifting off toward what had happened yesterday. He never felt guilty about turning someone down, but for some reason, when he saw her—what was her name? Sakura?—there was something he just couldn't place about her expression that made him feel heavy with guilt.

He tried to put his frustration into his kicks and punches, but it would do no good. He couldn't pay attention, and eventually, he landed flat on his back when he was doing a few complicated jump kicks instead of landing on his feet. Groaning with aggravation, he stayed on the ground for a few minutes, wondering how on earth he'd gotten stuck in this kind of position, and then he got up and stalked off towards his room to get ready.


No matter how many times she told herself to remain calm, Sakura inevitably became nervous. She couldn't think straight, nothing looked good on her, and she could imagine only one way that the date would go: so horribly that Syaoran would never accept another request for a date again. What was it to her, anyway? She didn't even like him. He was a spoiled brat, that's what he was. What did the other girls see in him?

Sure, he was cute in a strong and silent type of way, and he seemed very grounded for someone of his status; and his elevated status made him the most desired boy in her school. But there didn't seem to be much more to him. Remembering the dare, she gulped and closed her eyes, praying that she wouldn't screw up her first date. Then, she settled for a plaid sky-blue skirt and a white blouse. Slipping on some white knee socks and a pair of blue shoes, she grabbed her purse and looked into the full-length mirror standing off to the side of her bed. She sighed to herself. She looked like a little schoolgirl. Don't I look enough like that when I'm actually at school? As a result of going through puberty with only her father and brother—and not even a best friend to rely on—she didn't quite know how to dress...or how to shop...or even how to put on makeup. She'd ignored it all, telling herself that it didn't really matter; but the truth was, that to people her age, it did.

Whatever, she thought to herself, and opened the door.

"Otou-san, I'm going out! I'll be home soon." She headed out the door and walked the regular route to school, since the restaurant was right next to it.

When she got there, Sakura was sweaty from rushing and ten minutes late. However, she looked around the restaurant, and she didn't see any sign of Syaoran there. She even asked the doorman if she had seen him come in, and he said he hadn't; there had been no teens in the restaurant besides Sakura all night.

For a moment, she thought that he might have stood her up. It was believable, since she was Sakura Kinomoto, and Syaoran was the high school idol. In fact, it was more than believable. It was expected.

Quit being so negative! She shook the thought out of her head and decided to wait for twenty minutes or so. He was probably just late.

She let the hostess lead her to a small table in the back of the restaurant, which was a nicely secluded, dimly lit area with a romantic aura to it. It was too bad this date was the least romantic thing Sakura could think of. She thanked the hostess, sat down, and began to wait.

After awhile, a waiter came by to ask for her order. She apologized and said that she was waiting for one, and the waiter said he'd be back later, moving on to take another person's order instead.

Ten minutes passed by. Sakura checked her watch. Twenty. Sakura thought about ordering without him. Thirty. That's it, Sakura thought to herself. He ditched me. What's the point in staying? I should go home. She wasn't sad, in particular. She was angry. But her body reacted similarly to both emotions—she hated it, but she was one of those people who cried if they were frustrated enough. And naturally, she was frustrated. She felt her eyes watering and mentally kicked herself, squinting to hold everything in. She refused to cry over Syaoran again.

It was enough the first time he'd rejected her, even though she'd expected it; but she hadn't even thought that he would stand her up until it struck her mind thirty minutes ago. She should've seen it coming. She should've—

"Hey."

Sakura's eyes went wide with surprise as she saw Syaoran, dressed in a green button-down and khakis, sit down across from her.

"S-Syaoran?" She'd been so convinced that he'd ditched her that the last thing she expected was for him to actually show up.

"Sorry I was so late. My mother got word I was going on a date and she made me change my outfit, and then I had to drop off a letter for her on my way here and I couldn't find the P.O. box—hey, are you crying?"

Sakura hurriedly wiped her eyes. "No, of course not."

Syaoran looked at her suspiciously, but his expression quickly turned to one of exasperation. "Whatever. Let's order."

They ordered, and after the waiter left, there didn't seem to be much to say.

Say something. Say anything. It's not a date if you don't talk! "So...really cold weather we've been having." Sakura instantly regretted saying something so stupid.

"It's December. Of course it's cold, idiot," Syaoran snapped, and Sakura winced.

He sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. If I'm grouchy or whatever, it's because I'm not used to controlling what I say a lot of the time," he said, staring at the table.

Sakura nodded. What a jerk. Is it really worth it to go through with the dare? I'm not even sure if I can get through the first date without wrecking everything, she thought silently to herself. She still had to ask him on two more, and she had to do it before December was over.

The food came in, and they both ate in silence.


Syaoran sighed to himself. This had to be the dullest date ever—not that he knew, since he'd never actually been out with anyone before. But all the same, it was dull. It couldn't be the same thing that the guys raved and rambled on about during lunch. You'd think that if she asks me out, she'd at least make an effort to be less boring. I guess it's up to me.

"So, Sakura, what do you like to do as a hobby?"

In response, Sakura nearly choked on her food. He's actually asking about me?

Syaoran snorted, rolling his eyes. All I did was ask her a question. What the hell is wrong with her?

After recovering, Sakura tried to calm herself down. This was what she'd wanted, right? She'd wanted him to express some interest—or at least feign interest to make these dates more bearable—but now, she was acting like a complete idiot. Okay, okay, it's not a big deal. It's not like he's a celebrity or something. God, I must look stupid, she thought, and she glanced up for a moment. He was staring at her like she was deranged.

"Well, I do a paper route in the mornings sometimes, and I really like bike-riding. I also like running...and piano, I guess. My mom taught that to me when I was younger, but after she died, I didn't have anyone to teach me. So now I play for fun..." she trailed off. She could've kicked herself; she was rambling. "What about you?" she asked quickly.

Syaoran shrugged in response. He was surprised—she liked to run and ride bikes, she said. So she did something athletic for a change. But then again, she did come out sounding a bit like a stereotypical nerd, the way she spoke—as though she were lying to make herself sound cooler. "I like martial arts," he said, "and I like to draw." Hm...is there anything else I like? "And I like hanging out with my friends."

She looked down at her plate and pursed her lips, not saying anything in response.

She's acting like I'm throwing rocks at her or something! "Why'd you do that?"

She looked up at him, and he tried his best not to look away. Those eyes were creepy.

"Do what?" she asked innocently.

"You just...you flinched or something."

"Oh, did I?" She laughed halfheartedly at herself.

"Yeah. Why?"

"You'd laugh if I told you," she said.

From the way she was looking at him, Syaoran could tell that she was judging him, and he was surprised to find that it aggravated him. He wasn't actually interested, but just to prove her wrong... "Try me."

"Well...well," she stumbled through her words. She didn't know if she could actually get away with saying this next part. "It's just because...I don't know. You mentioned your friends...no offense, but they're all kind of jerks." She couldn't look him in the eye as she spoke. "I get enough of it at school...I'd like to keep them out of my thoughts as much as I can, you know?"

He looked at her in surprise, but he didn't say anything. Sakura didn't know how to judge that reaction, so she stared at her food and ate in silence.

This was such a bad idea, and she didn't even see the point in trying to impress Mai anymore. She sighed miserably, and Syaoran couldn't help but notice. He felt kind of bad for her—the fact that she didn't have many friends had never really crossed his mind; he'd always been pretty popular himself.

"Hey," he said, trying not to sound grouchy over the boring date, "I'm...er...sorry about that. It must be hard. Not having friends, I mean."

Sakura stopped picking at her food and looked up at him, and for a fleeting moment, she felt less loathing towards him. "It's okay."

There was a stale silence hanging in the air, and Syaoran tried to continue the conversation. "If it helps any, I don't...I don't like to join in and bully people like they do. It's pretty lame."

Sakura nodded and smiled kind of crookedly. He could tell the smile was fake.

"But you don't stop your friends. It makes you almost as bad, if not worse, than your friends. It's kind of...cowardly." Oh, crap. Did I just say that out loud?

Syaoran felt his cheeks go red and felt a sour feeling—like guilt—flood through his body. He didn't quite know whether to be surprised or ticked off; not too many people spoke to him like that. He was caught off guard, as well—she'd been so quiet and timid the whole dinner, and then she suddenly came out saying, with brutal honesty, that he was a coward? He was about to say something cruel back, but Yamazaki's voice floated through his mind—"You seriously need an attitude adjustment when it comes to girls." And, he remembered the wager he had with Yamazaki...so he inhaled, exhaled, and said, "I'll try to stop them if they say anything nasty about you again."

Sakura smiled this time—a real smile, and Syaoran was a little taken aback. He could see something very pretty—not quite beautiful, but pretty—in her smile. "Thanks, Syaoran."

He nodded, now completely caught off guard. So, he thought, this date wasn't as boring as I thought it'd be.

They finished their dinner off in a peaceful silence, and when dessert came, Sakura felt a little braver and decided to start up another conversation. "Syaoran?"

Syaoran looked up from his cheesecake. "Yeah?"

"Do you like our school?" Okay, random question...but it starts a conversation, right?

"Not really," he said rather bluntly, and he went back to his food.

Mildly surprised, Sakura paused to digest this. She didn't understand it. "But you're so popular!"

"Popularity isn't the greatest thing sometimes. To tell you the truth, I'd almost like to be ignored most of the time."

"But...why?"

"I don't know, it's weird. They all feel like they have to do things for me and impress me all the time, as if I'm some kind of celebrity or prince or something. I hate it. I want them to be real around me, to be genuine—but most of them are so busy trying to act like someone completely different around me, just so they can be friends with me." He exhaled and literally felt his shoulders relax, and he wondered why he suddenly revealed something like this to a girl he didn't even know.

"I'd rather be popular than ignored," she replied thoughtfully, and trailed off.

Okay, he could see that. Maybe in a situation like hers, popularity and fakeness would be more desirable than being a complete outcast. But he was frustrated for some reason, and her quiet responses were annoying him to no end, so he snapped before he could even think about Yamazaki's conditions. "Well you're not me, are you?"

Sakura stared at him for a second, then looked down at her dessert again. Back to square one. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Syaoran sighed. "It's all right." He didn't feel very much like apologizing, even though he knew it was his fault for snapping. "Let's just pay and leave."

Sakura sighed shakily and realized that Syaoran was only paying half of the bill. She paid the other half, plus the tip, and stood up. "Thanks for taking me out, Syaoran...I appreciated it."

She was working up the courage to ask him out on another date, but before she could, she nearly fell backwards in surprise when she heard, "Do you want to go out with me again, like...a week from now or something?"

Syaoran didn't like the idea at all; in fact, he'd probably spend his entire week dreading it. If he had to take another night of this, he'd go crazy. But what choice did he have? Yamazaki's future was flashing before his eyes. Now, he'd just have to worry about whether or not she'd want to—

Sakura nodded. "Sure."

He nodded, masking his relief, and walked to the door of the restaurant to leave. "See you later."

Sakura grabbed her coat and started off towards her house. He hadn't even offered to take her home. She hurried through the dark streets. Why would he ask me out again? It's pretty clear he doesn't like me... She shook her head. The point is, we're going out again, and pretty soon, the bet will be done and over with, and then I'll forget that any of this happened. Right?

Sakura got into her house safe and sound, and after reading a book for a little while, she got ready for bed and went to sleep. This had actually been one of her better Fridays, despite the way Syaoran acted.

She hadn't been so lonely this time.


Syaoran was in his room, sketching absentmindedly. He liked drawing. It was his other outlet; his main way of releasing stress was through his martial arts, but when he couldn't do martial arts because he was sick or injured, he'd always liked drawing. It calmed him down. And after years of mindless doodling, he'd come to develop his own style and draw like a professional.

At times, he thought so much while he drew that he wouldn't know what he was drawing until he was done. Tonight, he was thinking about the date. It hadn't been as bad as he'd expected, actually. Sure, she was pretty annoying, and her looks weren't exactly up to par, and she was only barely tolerable...but it was better than being with some girl who would wait on him hand and foot and fall over herself trying to please him. He had enough maids and butlers at home for all of that.

The phone rang. He picked it up and kept drawing. "Hello?"

"Hey, Syaoran." It was Eriol.

"Hey."

"How'd the date go?"

Syaoran thought to himself for a second. He opted to tell the truth. "It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be."

He could surprise in Eriol's voice. "Oh, really? Was it fun?"

"More like exasperating," Syaoran scoffed. "But like I said, I think I made it out to be worse than it actually was."

Eriol laughed. "Who knows, maybe you two have a chance." There was high doubt in his voice, and Syaoran could notice some sarcasm.

"Her and me? I don't think so." He was done sketching...now he just needed to color the picture. He still couldn't figure out what the picture was. All he could make out was a girl's smiling face. He pulled out his colored pencils and picked a random color and began coloring the eyes.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking." Eriol said, and Syaoran could tell that Eriol was smiling from the tone of his voice. "Hey, well, I have to go now. I think Yamazaki and some of the guys are going to go watch a movie or something. Wanna come?" he offered.

"Nah, I think I'll stay home tonight," Syaoran replied, carefully shading in the eyes of the picture.

After hanging up, he put the phone back on the cradle and continued coloring and shading his picture. When he finished, he stretched his fingers out and brushed all the eraser rubber off of the picture. He sat back and stared at the picture, and almost fell out of his chair.

The picture he'd drawn was a picture of Sakura Kinomoto, smiling her pretty smile.


And that's it! Once again, sorry for taking so long on the chapter! -.-;; I'm not sure if you can actually do that—color a picture without realizing what you're coloring, but I know you can sketch a picture without really thinking from experience, haha. Anyhow, please leave a nice review, or even a constructive critique! Thanks for reading!

-Franny