"Could I ever explain this feeling of love?
It just lingers on
The fear in my heart that keeps telling me
Which way to turn" (Japan, Nightporter)
The Uchiha elderly are either incredibly nice or incredibly unpleasant. No in-between.
The one to whom Itachi and Fugaku are paying their respects belonged to the latter group.
The current leader and the future leader, the Konoha council member and the future Hokage.
Someone found redundant that the Uchiha clan leader could also become Hokage.
They even proposed to appoint Shisui, the other prodigy and leader or the bloodless Uchiha revolution, as clan leader, but the majority of the Council found nothing wrong with Itachi being both.
Itachi spots her in a corner at the opposite side of the cemetery.
He used to be friends with Izumi Uchiha during his childhood.
He saved her during Kyuubi's attack; from that moment on she stopped by every time she saw him around, both at the Uchiha District and the Academy.
He was seldom around anyway.
He was always training and practicing, alone, with his father, with Shisui.
He had to become stronger and make the world better.
She had a crush on him, it was obvious by the way she got nervous and became too talkative.
He was uncomfortable in her presence because he could feel her anxiety, and he couldn't return her interest.
He had other things in mind. Like becoming a perfect shinobi and achieving a real long-lasting peace.
He had another one in his heart. His little brother, whose arrival in the world he witnessed in silence, like all miracles, whose life was pure because he was born after the war, far from the blood and the screams and the hate, who couldn't stand up yet he stood higher than him and everyone else.
Her bouquet is composed of white chrysanthemums, as it's customary for funerals.
At a second glance the whiteness hides something more.
When Fugaku gestures her to come over, recognizing her as the daughter of an influential clan member, she looks nervous, until she sees Itachi.
How different from the past, when his presence made her nervous.
Once the man leaves them alone, reminding her to give her father his regards, she is relieved.
Itachi picks the bouquet she put down by the old man's grave.
"I apologize for interfering with your plans, Izumi-san."
There aren't only chrysanthemums in the bouquet. The whiteness hides something more.
A white gardenia means secret love.
A white camellia means waiting.
A white lily means chastity.
A white rose means devotion and silence.
Izumi looked east when she talked to Fugaku. She wasn't headed towards the elder's grave.
She was nervous because the clan leader caught her doing something she wasn't supposed to do.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."
She takes the flowers from Itachi's hands.
"Shall I come with you?"
He offers. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes.
Itachi didn't know Uchiha Shuuto well.
His name is familiar because Sasuke went on a mission with his team once. He said that he was a chatty guy with unimpressive skills.
Sasuke disliked Izumi too, since he was a toddler and she insisted to hold him, separating him from Itachi.
He didn't like when a random person separated him from his big brother.
Except for Shisui.
He was jealous of him but he also admired him very much. Everyone admired the hero who, together with his brother, granted the Uchiha clan the justice and equality they deserved.
Itachi remembers having seen him on the Anbu monitors.
Back then he had more important matters to think about, although from the way they looked at each other, under the Uchiha District gate, it was clear that they were in love.
Izumi explains that they were team mates, that they were in love since they were 12, that he activated his sharingan when an enemy targeted her during their first mission.
He wasn't the strongest shinobi but he had a good heart. He wanted to protect people. He loved the village and the clan in the same way. He was happy because in a few months he would have started working in the Police Force.
They were shinobi. Death could catch them anytime.
Although Shuuto died protecting their client with his life, his death was considered a stupid accident, for a sharingan user shouldn't have been so careless to allow the enemy to hit from behind.
His death was meaningless in their clansmen's eyes, just like her life without him.
Their union would have been forbidden: in the Uchiha clan marriages are arranged. Izumi's father being a powerful member, he would have never allowed his daughter to marry the son of a food stand owner.
Even if Izumi and Shuuto didn't have a future together they dreamed about it.
"We hoped that once you became the clan leader you would change things..."
She mutters, sobbing quietly.
Her older sister was the only one to know about them. Being a pragmatic woman, she reassured her that the thing called love never lasts long, that she would soon get over it.
"She's wrong. I'll love him forever. I'll never love anyone else."
Her voice is broken but her look is determined.
"You are wise, Itachi-kun. Tell me sincerely: do you think I'm delusional?"
She asks, reminding him of the past, when she used to ask him all sorts of questions as if he were an oracle.
"I think you are right..." he whispers, looking away.
She can't imagine that he set everything up so that the brother he loves more than his own life will have a better fate than him, or her, for they both know that her father and Fugaku have been probably planning their marriage since they were children and she waved enthusiastically at him every time she saw him walking by.
Shisui used to know Shuuto. He feels sorry for his death; he was a good guy, he tells Itachi while they walk with no destination after a clan meeting.
The elder's imitation of the most prominent clan members, once they are alone, steals more than one smile from Itachi's lips, whose reprimands are not delivered with much conviction.
Around everyone else Shisui is very different, calmer and collected, as it's becoming for a hero.
Years after the bloodless coup people are still both in awe and intimidated by him.
The scar under his right eye reminds everyone of Danzo's vile plan and what they all risked.
Despite his fame he is the best at lightening the mood and saying the right thing at the right time. He has been since his childhood.
He has always been good at reading people. Even better than Itachi.
Because of his attitude he always had many friends. Yet he knew that siblings were different.
A brother or sister is always there, sometimes unwanted, sometimes welcome.
The first time he saw Itachi it was after the war, during the victims' memorial.
He felt bad for that horribly serious child.
He thought it was a consequence of being the leader's son. He was surely being brought up under strict rules; that man looked like he didn't even know how to smile.
Yet Shisui knew it was because of the war.
He devised the perfect solution: he, who needed a sibling, would act like an older brother to Itachi, who needed someone to be a child with.
Even when Sasuke was born nothing changed for more, the merrier.
Itachi needed a big brother anyway. He needed a role model, having become an older brother himself.
Shisui understood Itachi better than anyone.
He was the only one who did.
He would have never wanted to break his heart, showing him his suicide.
Faking his death was the only way to make Danzo slip.
Faking his death was the only way for Itachi to activate Mangekyou Sharingan without harming someone else.
Even if it meant that Itachi would lose the only one he could speak with, his almost older brother, his best friend, his partner in more than one way.
Even if it meant that Itachi would be accused of his murder, considered a traitor by their own people, cornered by Danzo, having to face everything alone, repeating to himself over and over that he was the only one who could find a solution, that there was no one to count on but himself.
If Shisui had found another way to fix things between the clan and the village, if he had found another way to activate his cousin's power, he would never have resorted to such extreme measures, but there was much more than them at stake.
There was their whole clan; there was Sasuke's life.
Everything for Sasuke, Itachi used to say.
Shisui knew there was no other choice, he knew Itachi would understand, which he did.
Besides, years later, Itachi returned him the favor.
More than his payback it was destiny's.
Itachi didn't even realize that he was breaking Shisui's heart. Shisui made sure he wouldn't. It wasn't his fault anyway: feelings can't be controlled.
"So your father is plotting something with Uchiha 'we'll show them' Akio, huh?"
Akio Uchiha used to repeat those words during meetings. Now they can laugh about it but in the past he was one of the hardest ones to convince to follow Itachi's plan.
"Does it have something to do with that long mission outside the village?"
Itachi shakes his head.
"It's about my engagement…"
"I'm not a virgin anymore" Izumi told Itachi. A simple statement that meant that she wasn't ashamed to have given her heart and body to the one she loved and would always love.
"And I don't want to..." she added, determined and frail at the same time.
"I don't want to...either", he interrupted calmly.
He wasn't being harsh. He really wasn't interested in having intercourse with her.
He was well aware that they would have to conceive, but there were other methods.
She was surprised when he told her, but she trusted him.
A woman loves her sons no matter what, they say.
She believed it: her mother didn't love her father but she loved her and her siblings. Her sister didn't love her husband, but she adored her daughters.
Itachi's plan was better than any alternative she had.
Without him she would have to marry someone who would want her to act like a real wife.
Staying unmarried wasn't an option either. Unmarried women were a disgrace to the family. Especially if they had the chance of marrying the future leader but refused because they were in love with a late unimpressive shinobi.
She was pretty and fertile, her duty was to breed and enlarge the clan.
It would take time to change such mentality; they both knew that, just like Shuuto did.
Itachi asked her help to transform society, not her love, and she accepted because her loved one, like Itachi, believed in working for a better world.
Shisui and Itachi's training spot isn't located in the fields like everyone else, but in a secluded area by the woods. Today they don't feel like throwing shuriken though. It's Shisui the first one to declare the training over.
He drops unceremoniously on the ground, sighing.
"Even the word engagement is weird..." he muses.
It's not marriage yet but it ties two people almost as tightly.
Not that Shisui didn't know this day would come.
He's not even jealous.
He knows that there is someone else in Itachi's heart.
There has always been, and it's not Izumi.
He will have to do the same too. Everyone will, if they don't die first.
Fooling around, getting close -too close, so close that it burned -to comrades happens, sooner or later.
Males understand other males better. So do females with each other; yet children are only born from male and female and the unwritten rule of the human race is to multiply.
Shinobi are sneaky by definition and theclans' reputation is more important than individual feelings. They can do what they want with whom they want, as long as they do their duty and don't get caught.
As long as the sound of their heart breaking -or someone else's- doesn't become too loud.
"Isn't it early?" Shisui finally asks.
"Not for an engagement..."
"Why am I not surprised? I even heard your father talking about cementing the alliance between the Uchiha and the Hyuuga clan with a marriage…"
Shisui respects Fugaku, as the clan leader, as a strong shinobi and as Itachi's father, but he disagrees with many of his positions.
Shisui's late father was not as strict as him, yet he is considered a prodigy, just like Itachi.
"At this pace he's going to find a wife for your brother in no time..." he jokes, only to realize that Itachi is not laughing.
The clan's heir must marry a clan's woman. He must be a beacon of stability and continuity.
The younger son's marriage can serve a different purpose, like an alliance with the Hyuuga clan. Both doujutsu users, both distrustful of Konoha's old methods, the idea of an offspring with new visual abilities appealed to both leaders.
"Hopefully there won't be need to arrive to that."
Itachi replies. His voice is calm but his look is troubled, Shisui can tell.
The Hyuuga clan is going through a time of deep changes and Itachi knows it.
Hinata, the heiress, will marry Neji. There won't be main and branch house anymore.
Fugaku wants Sasuke to marry her sister Hanabi.
She has yet to grow up to an appropriate age for engagement, there is still time.
His father is eager to leave his leadership to him and become a full-time Konoha elder. Once he'll become the clan leader Itachi will ensure the Hyuuga clan that they're their best allies, with no need for a strategic marriage or a son whose unpredictable abilities would cause more damage than they expect, with both clans wanting to claim as their own.
Fugaku didn't listen to Itachi about this, nevertheless the prodigy was able to stop him from arranging a future engagement. The Hyuuga clan had to settle their own internal issues first or they'd perceive his insistence as an attempt to take advantage of their momentary weakness.
They weren't as stable and united as the Uchiha, he said, implying that the clan's current state was a result of his leadership.
Fugaku nodded, content at that praise, declaring that all things considered there was no rush.
Not for Itachi, whose every effort was to make sure that Sasuke would never be used as a pawn.
He and Shisui were not delusional. They knew that the cultural revolution they dreamed of would be a slow process.
They used to talk about it all the time, by the river, discussing and analyzing every different idea and perspective.
Then their mouths would stop talking, to make room for their hands.
They saw through the illusion that was their current peaceful era.
For them real peace meant less shinobi and soldiers; less need to procreate, less need to enlarge the clan with more individuals to send to war.
Real peace meant that societal roles and duties would loosen up; couples would form out of love, children would be born out of free will. They wouldn't be taught how to kill before they can read.
To achieve it they were ready to sacrifice themselves.
To achieve it Shisui was ready to fake his own death in front of his cousin.
To achieve it Itachi is ready to change things in the easier way for everyone to accept, even though for him it's going to be harder.
No one would respect him if he changed everything starting from his own position. He would be considered a coward, a troublemaker, his authority would be undermined and his proposals would be rejected.
To achieve real peace Itachi is ready to work from within, becoming a part of the system and only once he'll obtaine everyone's respect, he'll show them a new, better way.
"Please Shisui, take Sasuke under your wing."
Shisui's surprise at Itachi's request doesn't last long.
He knows very well that his cousin lives to protect his brother, whom he still sees as the innocent creature born after the war.
He knows that as Sasuke grew up and his feelings for Itachi changed into something more, so did Itachi's.
As if the same seal unlocked both their hearts at the same time.
He also knows that the elder he is ashamed of them, that he sublimates them by caring about the boy in the purest and most selfless way.
Nevertheless Itachi was wrong when it came to Sasuke.
As if guilt prevented a part of his brain from working properly, turning him blind to what Sasuke really felt, wanted or needed.
The boy always loved Itachi. The boy always needed Itachi. The boy always wanted Itachi.
It's easy for him to read his cousin, he has been doing it since they were children.
It's ironic that no matter how insightful he is, he has never been able to do the same.
Were he able to read him he'd see how deeply Shisui loved him, even knowing Itachi didn't love him just as much.
Were he able to read him he'd see how deeply Shisui still loves him.
Were he able to read him he'd see that Shisui has always been jealous of Sasuke, around whom Itachi's life revolved directly or indirectly, to whom Itachi wanted to bestow a better world, at the cost of his own self.
Were he able to read him he'd see how reluctant Shisui is to accept his request.
Yet how can he refuse something to the one he loves?
"Don't worry. I've always been his older brother too."
Shisui gave up to Itachi's heart a long time ago anyway.
He never thought there could be something more than what they had.
He only hoped, in vain.
A/N:
Even though I wanted to write a ShisuixSasuke thing since the non-massacre filler episodes came out, it's only after I heard Waltz2's enthusiasm in plotting her House Of Cards AU that I felt the strong urge to actually write my story, putting aside another rare pairing fic I was working on.
Her AU is not out yet; it's going to be more detailed and accurate than mine for sure. Our characterization of certain characters like Fugaku, Mikoto and Izumi is going to be different, and so will the pairings. Anyway both stories will take place in a non-massacre , more or less filler oriented universe and both stories will be written with the utmost dedication. It will be interesting to see where our different personalities and creativity will arrive, from a similar, if not identical, starting point.
So, I dedicate this chapter to her.
I definitely felt free to add my own touch to Izumi's personality. Instead of a self-insert friendly girl who is hopelessly in love with brooding Itachi, I made her grow up, live her own life and find real love with someone else. She lost him, becoming inconsolable, forever faithful to her lost love, widowed too soon, even though no one knows.
It's an ancient mythology and literature trope, like Tristan and Yseult. I wanted to give her an ancient feel as well, just like the clan is traditional too. Only, I'm not being accurate with Japanese traditions, and I'm mixing elements I like from random classical or ancient cultures. There are a lot of similarities anyway.
The flower language I used is the Japanese one.
