Chapter 2: Kyle Broflovski is Totally Tripping Balls.
If anyone happened to be looking down the street that Eric Cartman lived, an odd thing would have met their gaze. Kyle Broflovski was storming towards his friend's house. Now, this wasn't the odd thing as Kyle and Cartman's feud was common knowledge. The odd thing was that Kyle would stop about 50 feet away from Cartman's house, let off a few expletives, and then turn around to go back to school before stopping at the end of the road, letting off more expletives, and repeating the process towards Cartman's house. After Kyle had done this six more times, the front door to Cartman's house opened. He looked up, his heart skipping a beat for half a second before realizing that it was Liane Cartman. She stumbled out, her hair and clothes disheveled before clumsily locking the door behind her and going to her car. Kyle began to approach her, thinking that he could ask her about Cartman, as she got in, put the car in gear, and suddenly turned sharply. She came very close to almost flattening him.
"Ooh! Why, you handsome little thing, you frightened me!" she giggled, breathing alcoholic fumes out as Kyle jumped away from the car. "Ooh my, I need to go somewhere else." She drove away, moving her whole body back and forth to wave good-bye instead of her hand.
"Jesus Christ," muttered Kyle. He adjusted his hat and jacket before taking a few deep breaths and walking towards the door. "I can do this, I can totally do this. I'll just ask him nicely if Butters was hallucinating about an alternate time and space that has a nice Cartman, or if for some reason it was real." He paused in front of the door before knocking twice.
A loud bang sounded from inside the house before the all-too familiar voice of Cartman yelled. "MOTHERFUCKER! SHIT. NOBODY'S HOME, YOU ASSHOLE!" More rummaging seemed to occur.
"It's Kyle, you moron!" shouted Kyle, though at a slightly lower tone."Let me in the fucking house."
There was a pause before another bang occurred along with another "MOTHERFUCKER!". Cartman then said in a soft, whiny voice "Kaaahhhlll? Did you come to check up on meeee?"
"No, you fucking fatass, I came to talk to you about something, so open the door." Kyle jiggled the handle a bit, his forehead furrowing in frustration.
Cartman, on the other side of the door, grinned playfully. "But Kaaahhhllll, if you want to enter, you have to know the password." Kyle hit the door with the flat of his hand. The noise caused Cartman to jump a little, but still made him laugh. "That's not the password."
"Fatass, if you don't open this door, I will go in through your window and jump on your bed until it breaks." A couple of more hits on the door was really all Kyle's hand could take before it started stinging and he stopped to try and get the blood back in it.
"I'll say it was a long night of pounding incredibly hot babes." Cartman responded coolly. "Besides, my bedroom door is locked so you can't get into the house itself anyways."
Kyle's eyebrows became a perfect V. "That's it." He stormed away from the door. Cartman waited for a few terse seconds before venturing to say, "Kahl?". No angry comment came back. "Kaaahhhllll?" After there still was no answer, Cartman frowned in disappointment. Whether he fully realized it or not, he had really missed the zinging trade-off of insults with Kyle that usually happened almost daily. With a sigh, he began to walk back to the T.V screen.
Glass suddenly shattered behind him, practically exploding into the room. Cartman gave out a loud, high-pitched squeal, jumping back and staring wide-eyed at the broken window. A green hat bounced into view on the outside of the window before Kyle managed to pull himself up through it, careful to avoid the glass. "Cartman, you-you bastard," he breathed heavily.
"Kahl, Jesus Christ! I hope you know that you're paying for that with your fucking Jew gold," Cartman said, managing to compose himself enough to not yell. He noticed Kyle's face was red from exertion, but he also seemed to be pale and nervous. "Kahl, what's put the sand in your vagina now? Did you accidentally hit 'skip ad' on YouTube and now Leslie's mad?" Cartman laughed at his own terrible joke before realizing that Kyle didn't even seem to be listening to him. Kyle just stood there, breathing heavily, looking at him with this...frenzy that he hadn't really seen before.
"Fatass...Butters told me the truth. I know I was totally tripping balls at the time, but there's a possibility...did you fucking do it? Did you?" Kyle demanded, staring at him.
Cartman stared back, petrified. "What?" he finally said out loud, terrified of what the answer would bring him.
I'm sorry for the sort-of cliffhanger, you guys! Thanks to FonicsMonkey for the support and the great writing advice (I did try to incorporate it!) Hopefully, I will get the next chapter up soon and next time, I promise there will not be a cliffhanger. Pinky double terrific promise! :)
