Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter J.K Rowling does.

Life was good for Harry Potter, yes life was good. When Hagrid had left him back to his uncle's house he had thought that he was in for a hiding but he found there boggled his mind. It seemed that the spell Hagrid hit Dudley with not only gave him a tail but also addled his brains and oddly enough for the better. Dudley actually became cleverer and did not eat as much as before. Harry's aunt and uncle were so happy now that the food bill was lowered they gave Harry Dudley's second room, or it could be because they were terrified that Hagrid would come and do odd things to them but Harry did not care.

Time passed by and soon it was September 1st, the day he was going to Hogwarts. Hs uncle had given him a lift to Kings Cross and left him with all his school stuff on his trolley. Harry started walking around looking for platform 9 ¾ but couldn't find it anywhere. Luckily though when he was about to ask a police officer when it was a group of red head people walked past and Harry heard the word muggle being mentioned.

He turned around and saw a group of the oddest people. At the front was an old man who looked to be in his fifties, he was wearing a rather odd assortment of muggle clothes, he was wearing flip flops on his feet that squeaked when he walked, he had on a pair of shorts that were well above his knees and what appeared to be a woman's thong on top of that, for a top he had on a t shirt that had Cradle of Filth written on the front with a picture of a nun doing something odd and his head was completely bald with the exception of a few long strands of the reddest hair right at the top.

Next to him was his wife, she huffing and puffing and her eyes were large, it looked as if she wanted to just grab you and eat you. She was holding on to a small girl who looked terrified at her mother and it seemed as if her hand had been crushed.

Behind them was a tall boy who had his hair braided and was dancing about merrily and oddly enough his eyes were as red as his hair.

After him where two of the most serious boys Harry had ever seen, they both had constant frowns on their faces and had their clothes on in an impeccable way, nothing seemed out of order for them. They were pushing something rater odd on their cart. It looked like a large blob of cream colored stuff with a tuft of hair on the top. Harry thought it was some sort of luggage but as he looked closely he saw what looked like a hand slowly rise up and shove some sandwiches down what seemed to be its mouth.

Harry shivered in fear at their weirdness and decided against asking them for help opting instead to watch them. The tall boy with red eyes went first giggling like a little girl. He ran towards one of the walls and Harry watched closely to see what would happen and suddenly as the boy was about to hit the wall, he hit the wall smashing into it in spectacular fashion. He went down laughing like a mad man and bleeding from a cut on his head. The two serious boys then shook their heads and picked him up and then threw him through the next barrier. Harry stood their shocked at what he saw, they were actually walking through walls. By the time he came out of his shock only the father was left but as he was about to walk through he was tackled down by what appeared to be a priest. Suddenly it seemed to be a battle royal of some sort as priests and nuns came and just came pouring out a train and started clouting the man. They tag teamed him ad did all kinds of wrestling moves to him; one priest even did an elbow drop from atop a train. Harry quickly ran through the wall in fear. When he reached the other side he saw a rather wonderful sight. A bright red steam engine was there with many carriages behind it. Harry took in the site and started on in wonder until it all came crashing down when saw that he was looking at a huge poster that was situated right in front of him. He walked past it and saw a dingy rusty train that looked like it would break down at any moment.

He entered the train and walked along until he found a compartment where his friend Hermione Granger was sitting in, he entered that and stowed his luggage on the rack and then went and sat at the window and looked outside. He saw the red head family boarding the train leaving the mother and the little girl. The train then started moving and soon they were shooting past the country side. He and Hermione had been talking for quite some time and he was really beginning to like her. After some time the compartment door opened and the two serious red head twins entered pushing the human blob on what looked to be a floating skateboard. They looked at Harry and Hermione before speaking in a deadbeat tone "Hello, our names are Fred and George Weasley and this blob of flesh is our brother Ron. We heard that Harry Potter was on the train."

Harry looked at them with a slightly scared look on his face before speaking "Hello, I am Harry Potter and this is Hermione Granger."

The twins nodded and just sat down and stared at him. As they sat there Ron tried to grab Hermione With one of his fat hands but she quickly scurried away and sat on Harry's lap which pleased him somewhat. The twins grabbed onto Ron and started shouting at him to stop trying to eat humans. They sat down again and carried on staring at Harry. After a while Harry started to get nervous from their staring and soon couldn't stand it so he blurted out "Why are you staring at me like that?"

The twins carried on staring at him before replying in the same deadbeat tone "We know you are the son of Prongs. We want you to teach us how to be funny. You see we are only going to Hogwarts to learn how to become funny."

With that the twins nodded at the two and walked out of the compartment pushing their brother. Harry just sat there wondering what kind of world this was, it was extremely weird and he was beginning to wonder if it was the right place for him to go. He and Hermione started talking about how weird this world was with her still on his lap. About an hour later their compartment door was opened yet again but this time an old lady who looked drunk out of her mind held onto the door for support and slurred "Anything of the trolley dears?"

Harry was really hungry as he had not eaten in a few hours so he asked "What do you have?"

The woman tried to look at him but her eyes just could not focus and she said "Oh you know the usual. I got smack, crack, weed, speed, heroin; you name your high I got it. I got a huge variety of porno mags and I got a few shivs and knives."

Harry looked at her and wondered what the hell she was saying so he replied "Don't you have anything to eat?"

She tried to look at him as if he was mad but failed as it looked like she was constipated, she then said angrily "What the fuck you want something to eat for you dumb twat. You going to a boarding school, you need to be prepared you stupid dick." And with that she stumbled away from the door and slammed it shut.

After that it was beginning to get dark so they changed into their robes eagerly waiting for the train to stop so that they could go to Hogwarts. Soon it did stop and the call came over the train for them to leave their luggage, as it would be sent to Hogwarts later. Harry and Hermione joined the crowd of children and left the train. Outside Harry heard Hagrid calling out for first years, so he pulled Hermione towards the half giant. All the first years followed Hagrid up a cliff and their they got their first view of Hogwarts, it was simply amazing, it was a huge castle with many turrets and towers, there were lights coming from the windows and the castle just looked spooky and awesome. Hagrid led them to some boats were there were to be three children to a boat, Harry and Hermione were joined by a fat boy who introduced himself as Neville Longbottom. Of course Hagrid had his own boat and also Ron Weasley had his own which seemed to be made out of cast iron.

Hagrid sat in the boat right in the back. He then leaned forward and had a look of deep concentration on his face before letting out a massive fart which caused a massive wave to push all the boats forward. They flew forward like a speed boat and soon reached a dock close to the castle. Hagrid motioned for them to leave the boats and follow him up to a set of large doors. There he gave a large burp and knocked on the door three times smashing it down on the third.

Ok so I got the dreaded writers block for The Veil of Time and a few guys wanted me to continue this story, so here is a new chapter I belted out.

Please R&R and thanks for reading.