Kadota sighed audibly, wiping his face with his hands as if it would clear away the jumble of thoughts and emotions currently running through his mind. The muffled buzzing sound of his phone successfully pulled him from his reverie.

"Hey, Kadota. Just calling to let you know all's good. I just dropped of Erika, let's just hope she's gotten all the info she needs. Apparently she made some friends at the club and she's gonna interview them about their relationship or something next week." Said Togusa, yawning the last few words. Kadota chuckled lightly.

"Just as long as she doesn't push it upon us to be her models again…" the line went quiet for a moment as the two men shivered at the memory of Erika forcefully asking them to pose suggestively in the name of 'research'.

"Yes, yes well… ahem. Everything fine on your side?" asked Togusa, clearly guiding the conversation away from his trauma.

Kadota grimaced, peering over to his couch were a now sleeping teenager lay.

"Yeah, yeah I got there in time." Replied Kadota vaguely, at least that much was true. He didn't like to lie, secrets seemed to make situations a whole lot messier. Hiding the truth often lead to a snowball effect where people started to act in increasingly drastic ways all because of some misunderstanding completely blown out of proportion. In his own experience Kadota bore witness to groups tearing one apart until the original cause of conflict had become a mere misconception in comparison to the deeds carried out in retaliation.

"Good to hear, I'll see ya soon then." Yawned Togusa again. Hanging up.

Kadota paused for a moment, his phone still held up high as he stared blankly at the screen. He could see the rest of his room reflected in the glass like a blackened mirror. It wasn't a large apartment, typical of what you could find in Tokyo without going all out of expenses. It consisted of a small kitchen connected to the room, he currently sat in, by an open bench. Apart from that he had a shower and bedroom. Not very large, it also seemed a lot smaller now that Kida was taking up the couch. He turned to face his guest, scrutinizing the hap-dash bandage which was wrapped around the teen's head. Kadota was relieved to find Kida's head had stopped bleeding by the time they'd reached his apartment. Walking up the stairs was a quite a feat, but not as much as he would have preferred. It seemed as though Kida wasn't eating properly, Kadota knew some teenagers were a little lanky but Kida was 19 now, he should've filled out a little more.

Sighing once more he willed himself to get up and take a shower, whatever the kid had gotten himself into, Kadota needed to get as much rest as possible while he had the chance. He had an uneasy feeling the next few nights would be rather sleepless.

...

Kida awoke from the pounding to his head. It took a few seconds before he could muster the courage to open his eyes. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it. All roads end at Izaya Orihira. He still cursed the day he met the informant, knowing well that there was little he could've done to avoid their meeting. If he wanted to blame something it would probably be the yellow scarves, but then again his entire life had been a mountain of mistakes… or maybe it was more logical to see it as a pit he was digging, and now it was more than large enough to become his grave.

Kida opened his eyes, letting the ceiling above him adjust from a blur. What? This was not Izaya's apartment… Where the fuck was he? He sat up quickly, only to wince at the pain in his head. Using his hand to steady him, Kida slowly moved one leg off the couch. He regretted moving quickly as he now needed to wait for the dizziness to pass.

"Oh, you're awake." Stated Kadota, walking into the living room. Kida blinked, staring at the man as his thoughts caught up with the present. Kadota didn't waste any more time on their awkward greeting, hastily proceeding to walk across the room the the kitchen. Kida continued to watch the man in silence, his clothes weren't too far off from what he usually wore, seeing as his usual attire seemed to already consist of loose trousers trackies didn't seem to out of place. What was different was his lack of a hat. Kida had never really seen him without it and it made him look strangely younger… as if he really were only in his late twenties and not some bloke in his mid-forties. It was… kinda strange.

Kida took in his surroundings more, the room was reminded him of a mixture between his own and Mikado's, both western and traditional Japanese cultures combined. The floor was tatami but the couch he currently sat on was undoubtedly western. A large window was positioned opening to a small balcony lighting up the room naturally with the morning sun.

"Here you should eat something." Said Kadota, placing a slices of toast on the table, accompanied by a fried egg.

"Before I go." Added Kida, his voice cracking slightly from lack of use. He slowly and painfully pushed himself of the couch, using various table tops and chairs to steady himself as he made the few steps towards where breakfast lay.

"I still want to take you to a doctor." Reminded Kadota, taking a large bite out of his own meal. Kida grimaced, as he took the chair across from Kadota, unsteadily sitting down.

"I'm fine, no need to ask Shinra." Replied Kida flatly, taking a drink of coffee. He wasn't confident enough to take in anything more at the moment, not trusting his stomach to hold down anything richer.

Silence enveloped the pair, save for the muted sounds of Kadota chewing and Kida blowing gently on his coffee.

"You're… not gonna ask me about, last night?" queried Kida, feeling a little on edge. Kadota swallowed, giving him a level headed stare. The teen squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze, finding sitting across from the older man quite nerve racking. As if he were a child who was about to me reprimanded.

"Did you want me to?" asked Kadota at length. Kida let out a breath he wasn't aware he had held. "How did you get into that kind of situation? Where's Saki?" Kadota continued to question Kida, taking his silence as a pitiful plea.

"We fell out of love. Saki and I." Said Kida, looking down at the ripples swaying through his coffee. "Turns out, two broken toys don't have the tools to mend one another." Kida laughed humorlessly. Kadota said nothing, allowing Kida to get it off his chest. "I thought I loved her enough that we could you know, start afresh or some shit. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever really loved her romantically. Aside from her being someone who accepted me and seemed to like me as a person." Kida glanced up to gauge Kadota's opinion. The older man continued to watch Kida in a way less judgmental more distanced but not quite apathetic.

"We- well, the truth was we never really escaped Ikeburo. I mean we physically left the place but we were still financially dependent on Izaya. I always told her Izaya was Saki's flaw and if she knew it was a problem she should fix it, I thought I could be the one to fix it. Well… she did, but I didn't. Somewhere along the way he became my flaw as well. Ironic isn't it." Kida half laughed as he spoke, as if he found his life to be something of a joke.

"Anyway, Saki found someone else, someone wholesome who had no connection to her life in Ikeburo, someone insignificant who Izaya wouldn't even care to know. I'm happy for her, I really am, but I felt like me sticking around her would only trap her in the past. I thought about going back to Ikeburo and meeting up with Anri and Mikado… but I couldn't face them." Kida glanced up again, holding eye contact this time, "You of all people would know how much of a coward I am, huh." Said Kida dryly. Kadota continued his silence, his poker face was so fixed, Kida was beginning to wonder whether he was putting it on to hide his emotions or whether he was actually apathetic about Kida's story. Deciding it didn't matter the teenager continued to speak.

"That's when Izaya called again. By then I'd picked up another job, I thought I'd worked my way up to be independent, I thought that was the only thing in my life I'd actually progressed with. Izaya quickly cleared up that misconception, turned out he organised my job pathway and nothing was really ever in my control. He's really good at messing with people huh?" asked Kida rhetorically, not really leaving enough of a gap in his words to allow a response from Kadota.

"The thing is, Izaya was the only person left who actually understood and knew absolutely every shitty thing about me and still didn't find it repulsing. Actually, he's still the only person who knows me. Apart from Saki, but I didn't want to ruin her new life. H-he, I was really lonely." Kida's voice cracked slightly, quickly bringing up his hand to wipe his unbruised eye. "I know it was my fault Saki got hurt, Izaya didn't actually do anything, he was never directly involved. When I was the Yellow scarves leader, he gave me advice, he helped my gang, saved hundreds more of my members going to hospital. It was only out of my own selfishness that I asked him to help. I was too scared of disbanding, too scared of losing my place in the group. So I asked for his help, asked how to fight, how to win… and we did, we were winning, we were growing, in more ways than one. I tried to ignore it, but I always knew the yellow scarves wasn't a group of high schoolers playing gang war. It was a gang war. Then when Saki was kidnapped, and reality was thrown at me I became paralyzed. It was my fault and my fault alone that she went through that. Izaya made himself the antagonist. He let himself be the person I could blame. Despite knowing everything about me, all my cowardly behaviour and the way I treated Saki after the entire ordeal… he still, still accepted me." Kida continued his monologue, no longer acknowledging Kadota or gauging his reaction to what he was saying. He just needed to talk.

"Hahah, it's pretty pathetic of me huh, I'm still running and crying to someone hoping they'll console me, even now." Kida turned his half drunken mug, absentmindedly watching the dark contents swirl around.

"Izaya really helped me back on my feet though. For the second time. He put me back together, gave me a place in the world. It's only because of him I was able to still apply for University. It became a bit much though. I- I was stupid enough to think he cared for me as much as I cared for him. It drove me insane how little he seemed to actually thought of me. I'd somehow convinced myself I was special, that I wasn't simply another of his 'beloved humans'. I was stupid enough in thinking that kissing and sleeping together was enough to warrant a relationship. Hah, I was the only person who thought we were something, we had something. I mean, it drove me insane, drives me insane how obsessed Izaya is with Shizuo. Hahah, honestly you know there's something messed up when you start feeling jealous of Heijawa Shizuo." Kida was shaking a little now, on the verge of laughing hysterically and crying.

"I guess that's where you came in. I left him a few days ago. I thought that, maybe I didn't love Izaya at all and it was only the physical contact I craved. S-so I went to a club and talked up a few people. Bu-but I got scared, and I ran away again. I only really ever go half way with things. You're one of the people who would really know that fact huh? I just really don't want Izaya to know, it'd only prove how pitiful I really am without his guidance. He's always one step ahead of me, he told me I'd never be able to escape my past, and that the past is in a way like a God… and he's so interwoven into my past I don't think I'd ever escape him, I thought I wanted to before, now I just don't know. I still feel like I need him." Kida sniffed, soaking up the frustrated tears leaking from his eyes.

"I used to wonder where I went wrong in the past three years. That day in the Yellow scarves head-quarters, when I thought I'd finally moved forwards, gotten over my fears. AT the time I thought I was finally accepting the past and my mistakes, avenging Saki or what not. I think I understand myself better now. That wasn't me moving forward, well not really. I think, I think I'm just a little suicidal now." Kida laughed nervously, his face flushed and slightly contorted as he tried to keep back the cried threatening to crack through.

"Th-thanks for listening hahaha, I bet I've wasted enough of your time now." Said Kida with a poor attempt of a smile. He pushed back the chair as he stood, leaning heavily on the table, trembling even more than before as he fought back the convulsions brought upon by crying. After staying still for a few seconds Kida suddenly made a move to the door. Kadota caught up to him as he fumbled on the locks.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Kadota, gently but firmly clasping his hands over Kida's trembling ones to stop him opening the door. He stood behind him, encasing Kida in his arms to prevent the teen from moving too much.

"L-leaving? What else does it look like?" choked Kida, no longer struggling with the locks.

"You think I'd let you walk out of the door after you admitted you were suicidal." Asked Kadota slightly exasperatedly. "Also, I really don't want people having the wrong idea with you walking out of my apartment in a blood stained shirt and a punched up face with a pretty poor attempt of a bandage on you head." He added, lightheartedly but also in sincerity, he really didn't want to neighbours to start gossiping. There was already some strange gossip going around, mainly due to the more than questionable door on Togusa's van. Kida leaned back into Kadota, his head resting lightly against the older man's shoulder.

"Can, can I stay here a little longer?" he asked weakly, closing his eyes tiredly.

"Sure." Said Kadota, not entirely sure whether he meant at his apartment or in his arms. He was completely fine with complying with either request. "That man… he, he didn't do anything worse right? I wasn't too late… was I?" asked Kadota nervously, he was quite sure he had come before the man at the club proceeded too far with his assaults. Kida smiled.

"No, he didn't rape me. What, are you worried about my chastity? Don't be. I lost my virginity two years ago to Izaya." He replied sounding slightly amused. Kadota stiffened slightly, unsure of what to say to the boy in his arms. He felt slightly responsible for the life Kida had gone through in the past three years, as if he could've prevented the outcome if he'd given proper guidance to the kid.

"Well done." Laughed Kida, no longer crying, his voice sounded hollow. "You've won front row tickets in viewing the train wreck that is my life."

Kadota said nothing, replying by gently pulling Kida's hand from the door so their bodies moved into a closer embrace. He had no idea how or if he could be the one to pick up the shattered pieces of Masaomi Kida, but he would definitely do his utmost in trying.

YAY SECOND CHAPTER DONE! Thanks for reading :3 I hope you're enjoying this pairing, I just realised my story is a little un-canon... oops, maybe it'd be better to think of this as an alternate timeline...