Brian found himself at the hotel bar thirty minutes later, having unpacked his bag. He was only staying in the hotel for four days, yet he had unpacked everything and put them in the vanity drawers of his room.
He held the Jack and Coke in his hands tightly, before reluctently taking a gulp. He knew he shouldn't be drinking but he chugged it anyways, trying to forget the anxiety and depression that had come to him over the last hour.
Everything had changed so much since he'd returned to the small town of Liberty, just half an hour outside of Pittsburgh. As he had driven to the hotel, he was shocked to see all that had happened since he had left to go to university.
There were new subdivisions everywhere, the modern styles in sharp contrast to the houses built in the 1960's. There was a new strip mall three blocks from his childhood home, the quiet, grassy area filled with trees had been paved over and a Burger King and CVS had taken its place. He had driven past the kids restaurant where he had his 7th birthday party and was saddened to see a new grocery store where it had once been.
His 7th birthday had been the best he'd ever had. He still remembered how his birthday cake was vanilla with red frosting and with seven blue and white candles on top. He remembered a man dressed as a panda bear singing Happy Birthday to him and playing in the ball pit.
He remembered after he had blown out his candles, Angela and Sharon both squeezed him a hug and he had never felt more loved than when they were both holding him.
He told a deep breath and finished the last of his drink, telling the bartender to put it on his hotel bill.
He took the elevator to his hotel room and when he reached his room, pulled the duvet over his body.
Why does everything in my life come back to her? Brian thought as he brushed one of his blonde ringlets out of his face. Somehow, it just all relates back to Angela.
Brian wished he had seen her some time before now. He wished they had never lost contact after high school and he knew he should have looked for her on the Internet. The fact that he hadn't angered him.
He thought back to that night in 1997, trying to remember when he had felt like when he was last with her.
August 12, 1997
It had taken eighteen months for it to happen and Brian was grateful that it finally had.
Angela Chase was lying down next to him on the Chase's roof, both curled up with pillows and a wool blanket that Brian had brought from the Krakow's living room. It felt strangely dreamlike to Brian, to be lying next to Angela on her roof staring at the stars and being on a first name basis again.
"Brian?" asked Angela, lying on her side. "What do you want out of your life?"
"What do you mean?" Asked Brian.
"You know what I mean." she said, rolling her eyes but slyly smiling. Brian couldn't help but smile back as he looked at her.
"I want to design computer software."
"What else?"
Brian understood what she was asking now and felt his heart beat faster. He shifted closer towards her, pulling the blanket up to his stomach and readjusting his pillow
"I guess I want to live in a city with lots of technology, somewhere like Silicone Valley. Settle down and start a family. What do you want?"
"I want to write poetry. I don't care where I live, as long as it isn't here."
Brian moved even closer to her, so close that he could smell her shampoo, the same shampoo that always reminded him of visiting his grandmother. It was a poignant reminder of how far apart they had been.
"Why don't you want to stay in Liberty?"
"Everything's changing and it doesn't feel like home anymore. It's why I'm going to DC with Sharon and Rayanne. Since Sharon and I already got accepted into George Washington and Rayanne has a job waiting for her there, it makes sense."
Angela's body shifted and she was only two inches from him, so close he see her breathing.
"Would you ever get married?" He asked.
She looked surprised by his question.
"Yeah, I would." She paused and Brian felt closer to her than he'd ever been "It sounds so stupid but it's what I want one day."
Brian looked into her eyes. "If it's what you want, then it isn't stupid, Angela."
Angela rested her head on Brian's shoulder. "You really know me."
"Of course I do, I'm your friend." Brian's answer felt awkward and he knew Angela didn't think it was sincere.
"No, I mean even when I only called you by your last name and made you do my science project, and rode off with Jordan, you never stopped caring about me."
"I've hurt you before. I spread the rumor about you and Jordan, I said hurtful things behind your back. I was an idiot."
"Then I was an idiot, too."
Angela paused and Brian felt his anxiety rise. He knew exactly what was about to happen.
"Why did you write the letter?"
"Because.." He tried to make the words he wanted to say come to him.
"I care about you, you're my friend. I knew how you felt about Jordan and I wanted you to be happy."
It was a lie and Brian felt terrible saying it and even worse when he saw visible disappointment in Angela's eyes.
"Thank you." she murmured. She rested her head on his chest and
Brian wished the moment could last forever as Angela embraced him. With Angela, the world felt still and he wished time would stop so they could stay here, curled up on his roof on a cool fall night, the leaves on the nearby tree blowing in the wind. Just her and him, forever.
Present Day
Unfortunately, time went on. The next morning, Brian left for Arizona to go set up his dorm room and take care of some paperwork, promising Angela he would be back to see her off before she left for D.C. on August 25.
But when Brian came back three days later, Angela was gone. He walked to the Chase's home and Danielle confirmed what he had suspected. Angela was already gone. He cursed himself for getting the day wrong, even when he himself left for Arizona on August 26.
He tried to reach her in DC as soon as he could. He called her school, but they refused to give her information to a random person. He scoured national phone books and considered going to DC himself when he finally admitted defeat.
That was the most idiotic thing I've ever done in my entire life. He thought to himself.
In 2003, Brian had finally earned both his masters degrees and was offered a position at Google. He took it and that same year, met a woman named Leah Wilkes.
And getting involved with Leah comes in second place he thought bitterly.
He proposed two years later and Brian thought he had moved on from Angela.
When their daughter Willow was born nine years later, Brian thought he had made the right choice.
Until the divorce. Leah left him when their daughter was five months old, taking their apartment, their car, and half of everything he owned.
And then she took sole custody of Willow.
The memory made Brian feel uncharacteristically violent. He ripped the covers off himself and kicked them to the floor. He grabbed a small liquor bottle from the mini bar and drank it in seconds. The loss of his daughter was one that was too much to bear whenever he thought about her.
He threw the bottle in the trash and his hands were on his head in a state of distress.
This would've continued had he not heard a knock on the door.
"Be right there." He muttered and he opened the door to see Sharon Cherski outside his hotel room.
"Hi, Brian!" She chirped "Rick and Danielle's wedding shower is five minutes and Angela told me you weren't answering your phone and she asked me to check on you."
"Why didn't she come?" Brian asked grumpily.
She's dealing with something at the moment. There's something wrong with her son."
"Let me change shirts and I'll come with you. Business Center's on the 12th floor, right?"
"Yeah."
Brian closed his door and pulled a blue button up out of the drawer, put it on, and then walked away with Sharon.
