I am so truly overwhelmed and humbled by the response to Road Maps, and so happy to hear from so many of you who followed Branded, that I couldn't keep the second chapter from you. I hope that it will answer some of the questions you've been asking.
Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight, and I still have an apartment full of mosquitoes.
Bella woke to sunlight and the sound of birds. She squinted into the bright rays that blasted through the windows. What time was it? Where did this afghan come from?
Edward.
Stretching her cramped limbs and yawning loudly, Bella poured over the events of the previous night and felt ashamed of herself. How could she be so selfish? She decided to just suck it up, be happy for Em and Rose, and give poor Edward a break from 'her crazy.'
The canvas she had been working on mocked her. The green-eyed baby, although incomplete, was recognizable enough. Baby Edward. Their baby, if they could have one.
Thoughts that should not have been swirling through her head were now threatening to drown her, so she put the canvas away, facing the wall and went back into the house. Their house. Their home.
Carlisle and Esme had insisted on buying them a house when they moved to Hanover. It reminded Bella of Casa Swan, the house she and Emmett had lived in back in Forks. It was cozy, warm, and inviting and had all of Esme's special touches. Of course she had insisted on decorating it. Alice had been too busy with school and work to contribute as much as she had wanted, but had definitely left her mark throughout.
Edward had made coffee, bless his heart, and left a note.
Bella,
Good morning. Hope I didn't wake you when I left. I'll be home at 6. Don't forget that Mom and Dad are arriving today. Could you please pick them up at the airport?
I'll have my phone turned on in case you need me. Please call Victoria today and talk to her. I worry about you.
I love you always,
Edward
P.S. Adam sends his love to Pandora
Holy shit on a shingle! Bella had all but forgotten that Carlisle and Esme were arriving for graduation. She sprinted to the guest room to change the sheets, unsure of the last time they'd been washed. She checked her watch. It was 7:15. They would be arriving at four. There was so much to do: laundry, grocery shopping, dusting. Thank God Alice and Jasper were going to stay with Emmett and Rose at their house. It would be two less people she'd have to worry about.
Emmett had accepted a full scholarship from Dartmouth when he graduated from high school. He did it with a lot of trepidation since Forks was a long way away from Hanover and he worried terribly about leaving Bella behind.
Two years later Bella and Edward had also been accepted to Dartmouth and were excited to be so close to him.
Rosalie had gone to UofW but moved east to be with Emmett immediately after graduation. They now owned a specialty car shop that dealt in both selling and maintaining exotic, import cars. Business was booming, they were happily married and now had a baby on the way.
Alice and Jasper had moved to New York so she could pursue her dream of studying fashion design. She graduated from her program the year before and was working as a stylist. Jasper was graduating from NYU and was going to graduate school. He wanted to be a professor.
It was hard to believe after all they'd been through together they had separated and moved so far away from each other. Well, Dartmouth was only a few hours' drive from New York, but it was still too far for Bella's liking. It seemed a galaxy away from Forks. She really missed Esme and Carlisle even though they came to visit at least once every couple of months.
Bella's phone chirped and snapped her out of her daze. She squealed when she saw who it was.
"ALICE!"
"Sister, mine! What's up?"
"I'm standing in the kitchen suffocating on the nasty brain fart I just had."
"Ew, Bella! That's gross."
"Shouldn't you be getting ready to board a plane?"
"Shouldn't you be opening your door?"
"What the..."
Bella ran over to the front door, opened it, and was attacked by a dark-haired pixie.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Bella said as Alice squeezed the air from her lungs.
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
"Of course I am! I'm just confused. Weren't you supposed to be arriving tonight?"
"Jazz and I couldn't wait. We drove. Are you going to ask me in or should we just stand here on your porch?"
Bella blushed. "Sorry, I'm a little off this morning."
Alice danced into the house and gave everything the once over. "The place still looks wonderful. I just love it here. It reminds me of Casa Swan."
"Where's that hunky southern gentleman of yours?"
"Sleeping. I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come see you. I take it Edward's at work?"
"Yeah," Bella yawned. "He left a while ago. He should be home by six."
"Are you okay Bells? You look exhausted."
Sighing, Bella walked into the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee for Alice, who really didn't need the caffeine, and refilled her own. "I am exhausted. Between finals, preparing my final grad show exhibit, the public speaking engagements, portfolio reviews, exams and everything else, it doesn't leave much time for sleep. Edward's putting in a lot of time at the hospital now too."
"I can tell by the paint on your face that you must have had a late one last night. Were you working on something for school?"
"No, I had a bit of a meltdown last night. I needed to work through something."
Alice put down her coffee mug and gave Bella a hug. "I'm here if you need me, you know that, right?"
"Yes, thanks. I do need help with something. The folks are arriving at four and I need to get this house sorted out and pick up some groceries."
"Shopping? Did you mention shopping?"
"Yes Alice. Would you mind running to the store for me? The list is on the fridge and my shiny black AMEX is in my wallet."
"I'll be back in a bit. While I'm gone, you should really consider taking a shower and changing out of your pajamas."
"God I missed you, Alice."
Bella ran a hot shower and climbed in. Although she used to take scalding hot ones hoping naively to melt off the scars James had left on her body, she now took them because she couldn't stand to be cold.
Her body was covered in scars. James had really left his mark. Cigarette burns; scars from being cut repeatedly and the crowning glory; the word PIG burned into her skin, like a brand. Over the years, she had gotten used to them, and once Edward was over the shock, she didn't think much of it. She still refused to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public, though. Why would she want to invite people to stare at her?
Carlisle had offered to foot the bill for laser scar removal, but Bella declined. It had become part of her; it was a road map of where she had been and where she never wanted to return. Everyone had been shocked by her decision to say the least.
"Bella love, are you sure?" Edward had said.
"Yes."
"Belly, I thought you'd want to get rid of them, especially, you know, the word." Emmett struggled daily with what Bella had endured and still wouldn't say the word PIG out loud.
"This is Bella's decision to make. This is also an open offer. If you decide some day down the road that it's something you'd like to do then we'll make it happen."
"Thanks, Carlisle. Guys, it's hard to explain why I don't want to do this. I can't find the words to make you understand."
"You don't have to explain anything to anyone, love. This is your decision to make."
Edward was always so understanding. How had he put up with her for so long?
Cold water snapped her out of her daydream. She got out quickly and got dressed. She'd been zoning out a lot lately. Hopefully it would pass; if it didn't, she had a feeling Edward would see it as another reason to worry about her.
Alice returned later with a Porsche full of groceries and other items. Bella groaned internally at the sight of all the extras. "Alice, hon, what is all of this?"
"I thought you could use some new painting clothes, some new towels and I couldn't resist buying you a new coffee maker. Yours is so last year."
"But I like my coffee maker. I understand it. Now I have to learn how to run this one. I don't need any more change right now. Things are changing too fast as it is!"
Bella slid down the fridge and sat on the kitchen floor. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the tears that slid down her face.
Poor Alice panicked. "I'll return the coffee maker. I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to upset you." Alice sat beside her and gave her a hug.
"Oh Alice, it's not that. I'm sorry. I'm an emotional mess."
"It's okay, Bells. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Why don't you go relax for an hour while I put everything away? Go sit in the living room and put your feet up. Maybe put on some music. Do you want me to make breakfast?"
"Don't worry about food for me, but yes, I will go put my feet up. Thanks, sister, mine."
"Anytime."
Alice helped Bella to her feet, gave her a hug, and sent her off to the other room. Bella grabbed her phone on the way and stopped to grab a blanket. She was cold. She curled up in Edward's favourite overstuffed chair and inhaled his smell. She started to feel a little better almost instantly.
Staring out the window, all snuggled up, she thought about everything had had to be done in the next couple of days. There was no way she could do it on her own. Thank God for Alice and Rose whom she knew she could count on to help her out when it all became too much.
She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew it was just after noon and her phone was buzzing.
"Hi baby," she said groggily.
"Are you still sleeping?"
"No, well, yes. Alice showed up and made me take a nap. She's puttering around using her excess energy for good instead of evil."
"They're here already? I can't wait to see them! Say hi to Alice for me. So, how're you doing?"
"I'm okay."
"I don't believe you. Did you call Victoria?"
"Not yet."
"Please? If something's bothering you it would be best to get it out before things get out of hand. The next few days are going to be busy."
"Fuck, Edward, I'm not a child."
Silence.
"Baby? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you again. I'll call Victoria as soon as I hang up. I promise. You can ask Alice. Please don't be mad at me."
Big sigh. "I'm not mad, love. I'm just tired and worried. I'm sorry I had to leave you with all the preparations today. I know you're stressed out. I just wish we could..."
"We could what? What do you wish?"
"I wish I could come home right now. I love you Bella."
"I love you too, Edward. And don't think for a second that I'm going to let that I wish comment slip by. We'll talk later. I'm going to call Victoria. I love you."
"See you soon. Tell Pandora that Adam says hi and he hopes they can see each other soon."
Bella laughed. "She does too."
Deep breath. "Alice, I need to call Victoria before Edward has a coronary. I'm just going to close the door, okay? Please help yourself to anything."
"Take all the time you need. I'm going to go grab Rosie in a few minutes. We can do lunch when you're done."
"Thanks Alice."
Another deep breath. Speed dial #7. Victoria. My lifeline. My savior. Four rings. One tear. Eight nervous breaths.
"Bella?"
"Hi."
"Are you okay? What's going on?"
"Have you got a few minutes?"
"For you Bella, I've got all the time in the world. Just give me a second. I need to tell Heidi to hold my calls."
Bella leaned back in the overstuffed recliner and pulled the blanket up over her head.
"Still there?"
"Yes," she said quietly.
"Oh Bella, spill it honey. What's up?"
"I'm surprised Prince Charming hasn't already called you to tell you."
"I'm between clients and have a stack of messages...just let me...oh, he did call. Three times. He is a persistent one, isn't he?" she laughed, "so, what's up?"
One deep shaky breath, two tears, and the dam broke. "I'm a terrible, horrible person Victoria."
"That's so far from the truth that you'll need a map to get back. What brought this on?"
"Rose is pregnant."
"That's fantast...oh. Gotcha. I don't think I need to ask how that's making you feel. You're feeling pretty low, aren't you?"
"Yes, I feel terrible! I should be excited that I'm going to be an aunt and instead I'm feeling sorry for myself and Pandora's messed up plumbing. It's been so long since I've thought about it, then BAM! It's all I can think about."
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking that I'm letting Edward down."
"Is that all?"
"No, I'm thinking that I'm defective."
"And."
Bella hesitated. "And James is back."
"Bella, James is dead. He's been dead for six years."
"He tried to choke me last night."
"Are you hallucinating? Should I be worried?"
"No." Big sigh. "Edward ran a bath for me to relax after my long day because I have a feeling he clued in right away that I was upset. Anyway, I was soaking in the tub and when I ducked under the water to wet my hair, I stayed under a little longer. my lungs started to burn a bit, and ended up having a flashback to the night James strangled me.
"It's been six years and I can still feel his hands on me. I can go months and feel nothing, then something triggers it and he's back.
"I screamed underwater so Edward wouldn't hear me. I don't know if he did or not. He came in and joined me shortly after and I fell apart. Actually, he got in the tub hoping to seduce the truth out of me and the second he came in contact with Pandora I lost it. I totally freaked him out. He thought he'd done something wrong, touched me a wrong way."
"Then what happened?"
"We eventually ended up in bed, where I cried and he was Prince Charming times a million and tried to placate me with promises to adopt.
"I've got nothing against adoption, that's not the point. I want my own fucking baby but HE took that away from me. I had no choice! I still don't."
"All hope isn't lost Bella."
"I've given up."
"This is terrible timing, what with graduation. The only thing I can say is this: you can't help what happened in the past or your sadness over this loss, but you can't let it consume you. For now, focus on the good. I mean Bella, you've got Prince Charming who loves you unconditionally, a wonderful family and you're graduating from Dartmouth! The world is yours for the taking, Chica!
"I know it doesn't change what happened, but you lived Bella. You are alive and that's what matters. We all love you whether you can have a baby or not. Try not to take too much out on Edward, okay? I know you don't mean to, and he's an easy target, but he doesn't deserve it."
"I'll try."
"Please do. I have partially selfish motives though. He tends to call me more when you're snapping a lot," she laughed. "Hang in there Bella. Let's get you through graduation and we'll deal with the rest later. Are you still journaling your dreams and your art?"
"Yes."
"Keep it up."
"Victoria, thank you. I'm feeling a lot better."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"You know Edward's going to ask," Victoria said, chuckling.
"Yeah, you have my permission to tell him everything."
"You know it would be better if you could do it yourself."
"I suppose you're right, but whenever I do he goes into Prince Charming mode trying to placate me with cheesy clichés and corny platitudes."
Victoria laughed. "Now that sounds about right to me."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I've been asked to speak at a conference in Montréal next month!"
"That's great! Are you sure you're up for it?"
"Yup."
"Good for you. I'm so proud of you, baby girl. I really am. Congrats on graduation and you know where to find me if you need me."
"Thanks Victoria. You're the best."
"Right back atcha, kiddo. I'd better call Edward back before he has a coronary."
Bella laughed. "I said the same thing to Alice!"
"Give my love to everyone and I'll talk to you soon."
Alice, forever the inquisitive pixie, needed to find out if Rose knew anything about why Bella was so out of sorts.
"Rose, I'm worried about Bella. Something's up."
"Yeah, I know. She was fine last night until we..." Rose cut herself off. She hadn't intended on telling the rest of the family about her pregnancy until dinner with the whole family. In fact, she had wanted to wait until after Bella and Jasper's graduations, but Emmett was horrible at keeping secrets. She didn't want to take away from the real celebrations at hand.
"Until what, Rose? Huh?"
"Nothing," she said as she mentally kicked herself.
"It's not nothing. Spill it Hale-Cullen."
"I can't tell you until tonight. Please don't..."
Alice pulled the car over in the nearest parking lot. "We aren't leaving until you tell me. Wait," she paused, deep in thought, "Oh my god, you're pregnant aren't you!"
"How did you figure it out?"
"I'm gifted, remember? So, you spilled the beans to Edward and Bella last night. Then what?"
"We went out for dinner and she was super quiet, barely ate a thing, and seemed lost in thought."
"I caught her like that this morning, just standing there in the kitchen, looking lost. I'm really worried. She looks like shit and I think she was up painting all night. When I left to pick you up she was calling Victoria."
Rose sighed. "That's not a good sign. I was really concerned about her reaction to the pregnancy. I know she desperately wants to have kids. Oh god, what I have done. Poor Bella."
"Don't worry about that, Rosie. I'm so excited that I'm going to be an aunt! We'll have to have a shopping weekend to buy maternity clothes for you and all kinds of baby stuff."
"You don't understand, Alice. My getting pregnant is just a reminder that she can't have kids. It's just another thing to bring James back."
"We can't spend our lives walking on eggshells around Bella. You are allowed to be happy about the baby, Rosie. She'll get through this. We'll get her through it, just like we got her through everything else. Do you think Edward knows she's struggling so much?"
"Of course he does! He's so attuned to her that he probably knows when she has to pee before even she does."
Alice laughed as she pulled her car back on to the road. "Hopefully Victoria was able to talk some sense into her."
"Go easy on Bella, Alice. Please. Also, let's not overdo the baby thing until after graduation. This is Bella's big weekend. It needs to be a happy one."
Bella was sitting on the front step waiting for the girls to pick her up when Edward called.
"Hi Edward."
"You're sounding better. Did you..."
"You already know that I talked to Victoria. Don't even try to lie. I see right through you."
He laughed. "Busted. I'm glad you called her. Do you feel better?"
"Yeah, I do. Look baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, or rather, like I have been. I hate that it happens and you've been so good about it. I don't know what's going on with me."
"Don't worry about it now, love."
Bella spotted the Porsche turning down the street. "Oh, the girls are here. I have to go. I love you, Edward."
"You too. Be safe. I'll see you soon."
"Not soon enough."
It was nothing short of miraculous that the trio of girls weren't thrown out of the restaurant. They cackled and laughed like a flock of deranged chickens. Bella couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so much. Being with the girls was exactly what she needed. Even when talked turned briefly to babies, Bella didn't mind so much.
"Oh shit, look at the time! Alice, we need to head to the airport to pick up Carlisle and Esme and we can't take the Porsche. Why don't we swing by the house so I can grab the bug?"
"I can't believe you still have that car, Bella," Alice said.
"It was my first one and I love her! She's still in great shape, thanks to Rosie and her mechanics. Edward keeps bugging me to get a newer, safer, car but I can't give her up. I know it cramps your style Alice, but he took the Volvo this morning."
"It's okay Bella. I'll put up with it, just this once."
Rose laughed. "God, I've missed having the three of us together. If I wasn't up the spout I'd say we should get hammered and dance around in our underpants for old time's sake, but that can't happen for me. We should have a girlie night SOON!"
Alice thought for a moment. "Ooh, why not when you come to New York next week for Jazz's graduation! I'll book us a day at a spa and make dinner plans for that night." She paused. "I have a dirty little idea. Ooh!" she shouted, drawing even more attention to them. "The gears are turning. Let me take charge and I guarantee it'll be a day you won't forget."
"As if anyone could stop her," Bella said quietly to Rose. The pixie was so involved in her thoughts that she couldn't hear a word that was being said. She and Rose laughed at Alice, and then worried about what she could be planning.
"MOM! DAD!" Alice shrieked when she spotted her parents leaving the security area of the airport. She launched herself at them and squealed.
Bella was equally excited to see them but was able to contain it a little better than Alice could. Esme pulled her into a hug and Bella felt herself getting a little misty-eyed.
"Sweetheart, you look tired. Are you okay?"
"Geez, Esme, I love you too," Bella grumbled.
"I'm sorry sweetie; I didn't mean it like that. You know me, I worry a lot."
"I know. I've just got a lot going on right now. I'll be fine when this is all finished."
"Hey, don't bogart the Bella, Esme," Carlisle said, laughing and holding his arms out to her. "It's so good to see you, dear."
"You too, Carlisle."
Alice dragged Esme by the hand toward the luggage carousel while Bella hung back with Carlisle.
"How've you been Bella? I realize things have probably been kind of hectic what with graduation preparations and Edward's schedule. You may wish to speak to Esme about that particular thing. I know she struggled with my hours sometimes."
"I will, thanks. Yeah, things have been hectic. There's a lot going on with my finals, my final project, Edward, the public speaking, the meetings with the therapists about setting up AT for their clients, Jazz's graduation, oh, and I'm going to be speaking at a conference in Montréal."
"That's exciting news, dear." Carlisle put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "But that's a daunting list of things to do. Esme and I will do what we can to help you out while we're here."
"I can't ask you to do that, Carlisle. You're our guests!"
"I insist. Oh, I see they've found the luggage. We'd better get over there before your sister has an aneurysm."
Bella laughed and leaned her head on her adopted father's shoulder. "I'm so glad you guys are here."
"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Bella."
Bella, Edward, and Alice walked into the house one day in eleventh grade. Okay, it wasn't just 'one day' it was April 11th, to be exact. Carlisle and Esme were standing in the kitchen smiling at them.
"Uh-oh, something's up," Alice said under her breath.
"Hey! Don't I get a hug?" Emmett yelled as he jumped out from behind a corner.
"EMMY! What are you doing home?" Bella yelled as she ran to hug him.
"Exams are done early," he said as he hugged his sister.
"So you're home for good?"
"For the summer."
"I missed you, Emmett," she said as she sniffed. It had been so hard being separated from him. There were monthly visits, either he'd come home or the whole family would travel to Hanover to see him, but it was never long enough.
"We have something to ask you, Bella and Emmett," Esme said nervously.
"What's that?" Bella was suddenly very nervous. She grabbed her brother's hand and felt for Edward's. He laced his fingers with hers and rubbed her palm in an effort to allay her fears.
"Please don't feel obligated to say yes, but we have all talked about this and have come to the consensus that we would like you to become official Cullens." Carlisle held out two legal documents. "We would like to adopt you both."
Emmett let go of Bella's hand to step forward to examine the documents. "Aren't I kind of old to be adopted?"
"No, Emmett, although they are rare, adult adoptions aren't unheard of. In your case, yes, it's because we love you, but from a legal standpoint, it will allow you certain privileges and rights."
He thought about. "Would I have to change my name? I want to be a Swan. I want to pass my father's name down to my kids."
"No, you don't have to change your name. We would never expect that of you."
Edward squeezed Bella's hand. "What are you thinking?"
What was she thinking? This was such a shock. "Um, wow. I'm thinking I need to sit," she replied shakily.
Edward led her to a stool at the breakfast bar. He stood behind her and rubbed slow circles on her back.
"I have one question."
"What's that dear?" Carlisle asked as he approached her.
"Um, doesn't me being adopted into the family mean that Edward and I will be siblings?"
"Yes, I guess so. Why?"
"I'll be dating my brother! That just sounds so wrong!"
Everyone laughed. "It's not like you're blood siblings, Belly. I mean you and me dating, now that would be fu...messed up. You and Eddie are fine."
She thought about it for a moment. "You really want to legally adopt a train wreck?"
Esme laughed. "Of course, sweetheart, and you are not a train wreck."
"I'm certainly not 'ideal daughter' material."
"No, that's why they have me!" Alice chirped.
Edward groaned.
"So what do you think?" Carlisle asked.
Bella asked for a minute by herself to think about it. It was really just a formality. She was pretty sure she knew how to respond to their generous offer. She went out on the deck and sat down. Reaching into her bag, she grabbed a pen and some paper.
Pro: I adore the Cullens
Con: I am dating a Cullen
Pro: I would have living parents
Con: I might upset my dead parents
Pro: I'd officially have a sister
Con: My new sister is a hyperactive pixie shopaholic
Pro: They love me unconditionally
Pro: They have taken good care of me and Emmett when they didn't have to
Pro: Legally it makes sense in case something happened to me or Emmett
Pro: I would officially belong to someone again
Bella folded up the paper and walked back into the house. Everyone was staring at her expectantly.
"Yes."
Everyone cheered and ran toward her.
"But."
Everyone stopped mid-step.
"I want to remain a Swan until Edward makes me a Cullen," she said as she winked at him.
Again, everyone cheered and ran to hug her.
Bella felt a little bit of the emptiness that plagued her begin to fill up. She finally belonged again.
"Earth to Bella?"
"Bella?"
Fingers waving in front of her snapped her out of her daze. She was standing by the luggage carousel at the airport. "What? Oh, sorry."
"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked.
"Yeah, sorry. I just got lost in thought. I've got a lot on my mind."
"Maybe I should drive," Alice suggested.
"Yeah, I'm pretty tired. You don't mind?"
"Not at all."
Thanks for reading Chapter Two. Please review and let me know what you think, ask questions, or just say hi! I reply to all of my reviews (well, at least 99% of them) and look forward to hearing from y'all. Oh, if anyone knows how to get rid of an indoor mosquito infestation, could you please drop me a line and let me know. The damn things are going to drive me crazy and if I go crazy, I won't be able to finish the story. ;)
