I'll never truly understand what exactly compelled me to pursue the oddity that is Spencer Carlin. To persuade her into such twisted games, into an indecent proposal I would often joke. It astounds me really how hate often turns into love, love into lust, and lust just being another form of surrender.

Maybe its my overwhelming need to control her, to break her down and finish what I had started three years ago? Her complete and total destruction. Maybe I just hate her? Maybe I'm just jealous and in awe of her strength? Of how she just rose up out of the ashes, out of a fiery wake of destruction after I slandered her name. Or maybe I don't hate her at all? Maybe its just that ninth grade, pre- revelation, school girl crush; years of harbored feelings and wanting what I ould no longer have?

Funny thing about the whole wanting what you cant have, is that I could have had exactly that. What I wanted, which was her from the beginning. But the thing about fear, about being judged for our differences, because that's what she is, different; the thing about that is, fear gets the better of you. Fear makes you do things out of the normal, do things you might regret.

And much like pity, regret is something I just do not deal with. What I deal with is her pain, her struggles, her wants and needs. What I deal with is my control over her, Spencer, in every one of these aspects.

"Spencer, sweetie," I call out to her from my current spot in front of the full length mirror. "I want to play a game. Would you like to play a game with me?" I ask, turning this way and that, admiring my revealing form. My new Victoria Secret catalog came in today; a nice lacy black piece of material that left little to the imagination. I was excited when it came in and decided that I wanted to try it on for her.

Its officially our one month mark today , a special occasion , so this is a gift of sorts. And from the way she looked at me when she arrived here an hour ago, id say she approved.

"Would you like that," I say again, only closer to her ear this time, the mirror is long forgotten. My Only answer is a long drawled out moan due to my current ministrations; my right hand pumping languidly at her throbbing appendage. Its been hard for an hour and I've been teasing her nonstop since she got here. Touching her, pumping her until she's about to explode but never allowing her a release. It's a tad bit sadistic I know, but its for her own good. I'm trying to prolong her release, to boost her stamina, but I also just like to make her suffer.

I give a rather fast and hard tug, making her hips jerk in need of her impending release. "I didn't quite catch that," I say with a smirk, jerking her off as fast as I can.

"Yes, god! Fuck, ill play…" She moans and whines wantonly, squirming as her toes curl.

"Good," I say rather pleased. I give a few more tugs before letting go and watch the way her brow creases under the thin fabric of the blindfold. The blindfold is for her sake more than mine. It is essential to her; she didn't have to look me in the face whenever she wore. It could easily hide her guilt and she could go on pretending, fantasizing that it was her girlfriend, Ashley, pleasuring instead of me. I take pleasure in it however, just for the fact that she'll never know what's coming next. That and I like to teach her that sometimes pleasure can come from using other senses besides touch and sight.

"The rules are simple," I begin, taking of my panties off and climbing further up from the foot of the bed. "I make them and you follow them." I hover over her on all four for a second, butt tooted in the air, and await for that pretty little mouth of hers to start yapping.

"That's not really a.." I shush her with a kiss, a very languid kiss that's full of promise. Eagerly she accepts my offer, biting and sucking on my bottom lip with fervor. Its something she rarely gets, a kiss, so ill allow her greediness for second before pulling back. She whines as I do so and I cant but chuckle at how greedy she is indeed. I place one last kiss to the tip of her nose and lean back so that I'm now sitting on her midsection. I don't mount her; penetration is something we have yet to cross, something she has yet to earn. I sit so that her obvious erection is simple sitting between the apex of my thighs. I reach for the small pineapple lube on the night stand, open it up, and pour a generous amount on my hands before applying it to her increasingly hard dick.

"I kind of feel bad for making her hold it in this whole time," I muse to myself, knowing full well that's she's more than likely in pain. "Oh well. It'll be worth it in the end."

"Okay, you know the drill. No touching, unless permitted to do so…." Her hands immediately wrap around the bed sheets as I say this. " No kissing, unless I initiate it. No moving of the hips, unless I permit you to do so," I go on, earning a frustrated sigh in response. "No Cumming, unless I tell you to either…"

"Should I not moan also?"

"Don't be a smart ass." I twist her clothed covered nipple in response. Aside from the plan white tee-shirt that hugs her upper portion, she's completely naked. So far I've been pretty uneasy about her being completely nude; I found that her average sized breast were a bit too much, a bit too feminine and too real. I'm not into girls, and its a lot easier for me to pretend as if she were a real man and not different if she covered her breast.

Shallow of me, I know. But I never said I was a saint.

"Are you ready?" I say as I position my wet folds onto the underside of her member. "Oh wait, hold on." I move my hands around her head and undo the tight knot that holds the blind fold together. "I want you to watch this," I say as she eyes me questionably. "I want you to see how helpless you are as I take everything from you. Im going to give pain first," I pause for a moment. "Then I'm going to give you complete pleasure, if your good." The only response I get Is a low moan as I slow grind back and forth. She bites her lip and I find myself doing the same thing everytime her tip swipes across my throbbing clit.

Humping, whether its dry humping with clothes on or just humping naked, I find to be very stimulating. Yes I love penetration, but I've always been an advocate of external pleasure. I can come harder from with clitoral stimulation then I can with penetration. So I wont be surprised if she's isn't the only one cumming during this session.

"You like this game, don't you?" Its whisper lowly, with a slight moan at the end. She nods slowly at this, arching her back and fisting the sheets as if her life depended on it. "You feel that," I give a rather hard and long thrust, insinuating my hips knowing full well she knows exactly what I'm asking; her shaft was becoming increasingly slippery with my arousal. "Ah ah," I chide when her hands become adventurous. I pin them above her head and move my hips with more purpose. "You get me so wet, Spencer." She groans at my declaration. "Not even Aiden can get me this wet. Its all you…" its whispered on her lips, a small invitation she wont decline. I ride her bit slower but harder and we swallow each other cries as we do so. "I bet you get Ashley just as wet, don't you?"

"S-shut," it suppose to be menacing but instead comes out as a strangled moan; I cant help but laugh. She's always so easy. Ashley has always been a sensitive subject for her. She hates when I say anything lewd about her or bring her up in general. " I bet you think about her little virgin pussy all the time, huh? Bet you wish it was her pretty little pussy rubbing all over your dick.."

"Fuck you," she yells through gritted teeth, the veins on her neck straining from her need to release. I moan at her frustration, riding her faster.

"Oh you'd love that, wouldn't you?" I egg her on more, pushing her hands into the mattress further as I anticipate my own release. "I saw you two in the hallway today. Kissing and making googly eyes. Were you thinking about fucking her then? Did she open up her little flower for you when you left…"

"Madison, please…!" Its high pitched whine, a clear sign that she's more than close.

This is me in control. This is me giving her pain, breaking her down. It doesn't matter what I say or do to her, she'd always come back for more. Its that knowledge that will be my undoing.

I come, hard, cursing and moaning all types of things as I do so. "Don't you fucking cum, Spencer!" I warn as I ride out my orgasm fully.

"Madison, please…fuck! I cant take it anymore!"

So needy…

"Tell me what you want, baby." I coo as I finally come down from my high. "You want me toooo…,…..stop?" I ask humorously, doing just that.

So helpless…..

"No, don't stop! Just…just.."

"Just fuck you harder, is that what you want?" She's biting her lip and sweating so hard that I can make out her nipples straining through the shirt. "You want me to make you come, baby? Is that what you want?"

"Yes, fuck! Please Madison, make me cum!"

So broken….

"You wanna fuck my face," I moan out, slowing my hips yet again. She tries to protest until she realizes what I'm about to do. "You wanna cum in my mouth, is that what you really want?" As I say this, I slowly make my way downward until I'm staring her right in the face. "Come on baby, fuck my face." I say it against her right before I take her all in my mouth. She doesn't need to be told twice; she grabs my head and starts pumping her hips like a piston into my mouth. I can taste myself on her and if it wasn't for me not having a gag reflex, I probably would of thrown up by now from the force.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck….I'm cumming..!" Her back arches off the bed as her hot essence begins to coat the back of my throat. Its a lot, more than usual, but I swallow every drop.

And this is me giving her pleasure, me giving into her need.

She collapses in a sweaty heap and tries catching her breath. I lick at my mouth, collecting whatever was left, and then lay haphazardly across her thighs. I kiss each one gently before grasping her still erect penis. She hisses slightly from the sensitivity no doubt, but gradually relaxes as I continue to pump. I take the time to examine my hand work.

The shaft is a lot redder than the tip, and that giant vein seems to stand out more prominent then anything. I examine the underside a bit more, taking notice to the fact that she doesn't have any balls. Its like there's the shaft, which is the equivalent to the female clitoris, and then under it and slightly around it, there's a small amount of skin. I'm guessing the skin would have been either the inner or outter labia, but that's it. There's no balls, no vaginal opening whatsoever.

It truly is bazaar to look at.

"You know this is the first time I actually looked at your dick?"

"Oh really? Is my dick that fascinating to you? Must be better than all the other dicks you've seen, huh?"

She's being cocky, but even I have to admit that she does have a pretty dick. Its circumcised , a descent length, about eight or nine inches when fully erect; the mushroom head seems to curve slightly, which only leads me to believe that she'd be able to hit some magically spots during intercourse. I bite my lip at the thought. She's a bit darker in complexion down here compared to her upper body and she definitely has the right amount of girth.

"Ya know, for someone who was just begging me to make them cum. You sure are on your high horse …" She blushes at this and turns her head away.

"Are you going to stare at my dick all day or actually do something with it?"

She is really feeling herself today.

I brush her question off lightly and decide to indulge her. I make sure to catch her eye as I take her into my mouth and give a deep swallow. A cute little "ugh" slips between her teeth and her head lulls back against her forearm. "I was just curious is all. You don't have balls, I've noticed…or a vagina." I finally deadpan.

"I have balls," she comments through half lidded eyes, propping herself up on her arm in order to watch me. She loves to watch whenever I do this, blow her, it's the only thing she'll ever watch. It makes her uncomfortable most of the time when I try to jerk her off without the blindfold. "I have balls. They're just in me. They haven't 'dropped' as most doctors have said. And probably never will." She says all of this through struggled pants and heavy breaths. "I don't have a vagina, like you mentioned before because I don't have ovaries or a cervix. My balls would have been my ovaries I suppose if I was born a girl fully," she goes on," but I'm not."

"So no periods. But, can you get somebody pregnant?" I manage to ask in between slurps.

"The doctors don't really know. And I haven't really tried..soooo.." She blushes a bit at the last part, clearly embarrassed about still being a virgin and I cant help but think it's the cutest thing in the world.

"You're really good that." She comments off handedly and I'm not too sure if I should take it as a compliment. "Do you…..do stuff like this with Aiden?" I don't answer, just graze my teeth against her mushroom making her hiss; it's a warning but of course she doesn't recognize it.

"Are you going to tell Aiden by the way?...and where is he exactly anyway?"

"Would you like me to tell Aiden? Matter fact, would you like me to stop?" All these questions are making me beyond weird, not to mention pissed off. Like really, what the fuck?

"No," she rushes, " I just….I'm sorry. I wont say anything. Please don't stop…" I shake my head irritably before fulfilling her request. "Is he better than me," she adds as if its an afterthought and I just about had it.

"Okay, that's it. No more." I get off the bed and throw my hands up in disbelieve. "Really, Spencer? Like really?" I begin pacing back and forth while cursing in Spanish. "I'm literally sitting here sucking your dick, and you have the audacity to ask me something so…so fucked up? I mean you either want your dick sucked or you want to play twenty-one fucking questions. So which one is it?" She motions to answer my question but I completely cut her off. "You know what? Don't even answer that. We're done here for today…."

"Whoa, whoa, wait!" She hops off the bed just as I begin throwing her clothes at her. "Madison, wait….I'm sorry, okay? I just….i don't know. I was curious. I mean, this is all we do. And we do it a lot….not that I don't like it," she back pedals a bit as she sees the death glare I'm giving her. " Its just…I don't understand how? Like how is he never around you? I have to come up with most ridiculous excuses in order to get away from Ash. And that's completely fucked up on another level…."

"Okay, for one…you're curiousity isn't part of the rules…"

"Oh, but asking me personal questions about my genitalia and constantly bringing Ashley into our fucked up little sessions is? You're a real piece of work," she chuckles in disbelieve. "Not to mention a fucking hypocrite." She adds, slipping her leg into her jeans and pulling them up.

"Baby, don't get this twisted," I say unphased by her words. "You knew what this was in the beginning. I was brutally honest about my intentions and I made the rules pretty damn clear." I regard her from my mirror, absent-mindedly checking myself as she gathers her things. " I make the rules, and you simply follow them. So this whole trying to get to know me thing needs to stop. Its not going to happen. I made the rules, you agreed. Now if you changed your mind, then there. Go, There's the door." I point to the very thing. "You can leave, no strings attached. No nothing I told you before, I'm not keeping you here. That's your own doing…..."

"You say no strings. That's I can just leave but what then? You still got all those pictures of me on your phone. So what's gonna happen if I walk out the door?"

"Really," I snort out of disbelieve. "That's what your worried about? That I'm going to out you to your girlfriend? You're so fucking stupid. If that was still the case, don't you think I would of already done it by now?"

"I don't fucking know. Shit, half the time I don't even know what goes on in your head. Maybe you just haven't done it yet because you know you have something to lose…"

"Aiden? Is that who you're talking about." I cant but laugh at how wrong she is. "Okay, yeah. I love Aiden. He's a good guy and all that other sappy shit. But honestly at the end of the day, I'm all for me. I'm going to do what I want. When I want. Because I'm the one taking care of me. I'm not worried about Aiden or anybody else for that matter. Hell, Ill call him right now and tell him everything. What is he going to do, walk out? I don't give a shit…and he wouldn't be the first person to do so. So like I said, I've got nothing to lose. Because unlike you, I don't care. You're the one that's worried about it. You're the one that has something to lose. But since you're so worried, here," I walk over to my nightstand, grab for my phone and unmount the SD card before handing it to her. "If you're so worried about it, keep it. I don't need it. I got what I wanted and I did what I said I was going to do…"

"And what's that, Madison?"

"I completely destroyed you." Its said in the most obvious way. "Lets be real here for second. I basically molested you for weeks on end…to the point where you wanted it. To the point where I had you coming to me, practically begging for me to touch you. To let you come in mouth, or in my hand...or wherever you felt the need. I allowed this, me. Not you, me. I allow this. You cheat on your girlfriend everyday without any regard. That's what I did, sweetheart. That's what my control has done to you…."

"Wow," she shakes her head, clearly blown back by my brutal honesty. "You are beyond fucked up. Like….I really just don't understand you…."

"Baby," I shake my head. " You're 're not here to try to understand me or this situation. You're here to sin. You're here because your girlfriends a fucking prude and you find enjoyment in me breaking you down just as much as I do. So tell me, what does that say about you? It says that you're no better than I am. That you're a borderline masochist that's completely fucked in the head. And it doesn't matter how many times you runaway, baby," I mock as she walks out the door. "You're just gonna keep coming back for more…"

A/N: So the next chapter will have a few fillers. It'll probably mention how it all started and such, but I'm not really sure exactly.