Chapter 2

"Helga!" Arnold yelled out as he rushed to her.

He scooped her petite body off the ground and carried her to their bedroom. After carefully laying her down on the bed, he rushed to get a cold damp washcloth. He gently wiped the sides of her face with it in an effort to cool her down.

She looked so serene lying there. This last week alone had been pretty hellish for them even before the car crash had happened. He couldn't remember the last time they had just been happy. He stroked her cheek absentmindedly.

Her porcelain skin was smooth and soft and her lips were a soft peachy-pink. Arnold found himself drawing closer to her. Closer until his lips were just inches away from hers. It was at this moment that Helga opened her eyes.

For a moment that seemed like an eternity they just stared at each other frozen. Helga's face began to redden and Arnold felt his own cheeks start to burn. Helga's eyes widened and the spell was broken. On a quick reflex she shoved Arnold hard off the bed.

"Ouch! What'd you do that for, Helga?" Arnold asked, rubbing his behind from the fall.

"W-w-what were you trying to do, Arnold?!" Helga shrieked as she grabbed a pillow and held it in front of her defensively. "Don't think for a second you can take advantage of me Football Head!"

"Helga, you know I would never do something like that," Arnold frowned as he dusted himself off.

"I'm going to the next room. Don't you dare think of following me or I'll-I'll give you the ol' Betsy!" Helga threatened.

"Whatever you say, Helga," Arnold rolled his eyes as Helga slammed the door to the next room shut behind her.

Arnold shook his head. He'd forgotten just how rough around the edges Helga used to be when they were younger. He almost felt like he was in the Twilight Zone reliving that experience again. Arnold chuckled to himself as he sat down on the couch in the living room.

How was his younger self never able to see through this mask of Helga's? He sure must've been a dense kid. Now older and apparently wiser, Arnold could see right through Helga's antics as though she were transparent. He found it almost cute to see the way she put a tough façade on in order to hide her vulnerability, innocence, and her obvious feelings for him. But if Helga wanted to play this game of pretending not to like him, he could play along for her sake.

Suddenly, Arnold heard his cell phone go off. "Hello?" he answered.

"Hey Arnold, it's Gerald. How's Helga?"

"Hi, Gerald. Helga's, uh... doing better," Arnold replied, pausing for a moment. He couldn't exactly say she was doing great considering she had just lost about ten years of her memory.

"Just wanted to ask you if it's okay if Phoebe and I swing by tomorrow. She freaked when I told her Helga had amnesia."

"Yeah sure, that'd be great. I think Helga would be happy to see you two."

"Well listen man, one other thing: I went to the car lot 'cause I figured you'd be too busy being with Helga. They were able to recover some items from Helga's car including the divorce papers. I put them inside the desk in your study while you were at the hospital."

Arnold sighed. "Thanks, Gerald. Can you do me one more favor?" he said as he looked up at the ceiling in exasperation.

"Sure thing. What is it?"

"Can you and Phoebe not mention the divorce to Helga?"

"Are you not going to tell her you two were about to get divorced?" Gerald asked curiously.

"I just... I just don't think she needs to hear that right now. Just... please don't mention it, okay?" Arnold begged.

"Whatever you say, Arnold," replied said in a tone that seemed to question Arnold's actions. "Catch you later, then."

Arnold hung up the phone and put his head in his hands. The divorce. He'd forgotten all about it. It almost gave him a migraine to think of it now. He rubbed his temples as he thought of what he was going to do now.

Helga didn't remember a thing and, while that had initially distressed him, this seemed to be a blessing in disguise now that he thought about it. Now they wouldn't have to get that divorce. Arnold had never wanted it after all. Suddenly, Arnold recalled what Gerald had just said. He remembered that the divorce papers were in the study, which just so happened to be the room Helga was in right now.

He whipped his head up. "No!" Arnold exclaimed to himself. "She can't find those papers!" He glanced at the door to the study as he tried to devise a plan to take the files back.


Helga pressed her back against the door of the study room. She felt her face heat up at the thought of what had just happened. She just sighed as she tried to calm down her racing heart which, at this point, felt as if were threatening to beat right out of her chest.

Arnolds lips... Helga felt herself melt into a gooey pile. She quickly slapped herself across the face.

"Get a hold of yourself, Pataki!" she said to herself. "Wait... if I'm married to Arnold... then that means I'm not Pataki anymore. I'm Shortman now."

Helga's eyes lit up as she started doing a victory dance around the room. "I'm married to Arnold. Me! Helga G. Pata- Shortman is married to Arnold!"

As Helga continued to dance around the room singing, "I'm married to Arnold!" the owner of said name opened the door to the study.

"Uh... Helga?" Arnold asked, leaning against the doorjamb. "What are you doing?"

"A-arnold?" Helga stuttered as she quickly turned around to face him. She paused mid-dance and her entire face started to turn as red as a tomato. "Quit sneaking up on me, Football Head! I'm not doing anything! What did I say about following me in here? Get out!"

"Helga, I need to grab something from the room," Arnold protested.

"No, get out, get out, get out!" Helga repeated, pushing him out of the doorway. "Before I beat the everloving cheese out of you!"

Before he even had the chance to turn around after she'd successfully pushed him all the way out of the room, he heard the tell-tale sign of a lock clicking behind him. Turning around, he walked up to the door and began pounding on it. "Helga, open the door!" he ordered.

No dice. Helga wasn't giving in.

"Great," Arnold muttered to himself, "now how am I supposed to get rid of those papers?"


A few hours and many deliberations later, Arnold had finally come up with an ingenious plan. He unraveled a wire hanger and planned to use it to attempt to pick the lock. He had to get to those papers before Helga might come across them. He stuck the contraption into the lock and tried to work it around the tumblers inside.

This definitely looks a lot easier in the movies, Arnold thought to himself as he pushed the piece of metal through the tiny door hole. After about ten minutes of trying to pick it, Arnold thought he was almost going to give up when he finally heard the satisfying click of the door unlocking.

"Yes!" Arnold whispered under his breath.

He slowly turned the door knob to the study and peered inside the room. It was awfully quiet. He spied Helga's form on the couch. She'd fallen asleep and was curled up into a fetal position. Arnold took the blanket from their bedroom and draped it over her body, making sure to tuck her in so she wouldn't be cold.

She looked so small and vulnerable from his viewpoint. It was funny how such a petite girl could raise so much hell, but then again, that was part of why he loved her so much, wasn't it? Arnold smiled and kissed her forehead lightly so as not to wake her up before tip-toeing to his desk where he retrieved the divorce files.

Arnold took the papers out to his car. He certainly didn't want to make the mistake of keeping them in the house where she could easily stumble upon them again. Sitting in the driver's seat, he opened the manila envelope and looked through the papers. They brought back fresh waves of pain as he recalled what had happened.

-Flashback-

Helga slapped a manila envelope down on Arnold's desk.

"What's this?" Arnold asked, looking up at her.

"Open it up and you'll see," Helga replied stoically, crossing her arms.

Arnold slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the papers that were within. At the top of the page in black square letters, it read: "Petition for Dissolution of Marriage."

"What the hell is this supposed to be?" Arnold demanded angrily.

"I want a divorce, Arnold," Helga replied coldly. "If I have to see your face for one more day under this roof, I might just end up killing you and ending up on the 10 o'clock news, so... just sign it."

"Now you're going too far, Helga!" Arnold shot back. "Why are you doing this all of sudden?!"

"I hate you. Just looking at your face is enough to make me sick. I hate you so much I want to forget you even existed!" Helga screamed at him. "Why don't you just go be with the woman you actually love?!"

-End flashback-

"You said you wanted to forget about everything," Arnold muttered. "Did you really hate me that much, Helga?"