A/N: This story will have flashbacks from their time apart. It WILL BE a Jax and Tara based love story, just not at first. Keep that in mind :) Happy reading!
"Jax, is Tara joining us for dinner?" Gemma asked, hoping to get some information on why her son was spiraling out of control and why she hasn't seen her daughter in a few days.
Since the moment Jax watched Tara walk out of the clubhouse he felt as if someone had his heart in a vise. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think straight. That's probably because he hasn't been sober since he decided to push her away. He's wanted to go to her several times and apologize and beg her to forgive him but he couldn't. He couldn't let her give up her dream to be with him. She deserved so much more. So instead of ruining Tara's life he spends his days and nights drunk and balls deep in whatever pussy walks by.
"No. We're not together anymore." Jax answers, laying back down, covering his head with his pillow.
Gemma was determined to get to the bottom of this. Surely she could fix this. She couldn't stand to see her son so heartbroken and she knew that if they had in fact broken up Tara wasn't any better off.
"Opie, what happened with Jax and Tara?" Gemma questioned, knowing if anyone had the scoop on her son it would be Opie.
"Sorry Gem, he's not really talking. I just know they broke up." Opie replied, hurrying out before he could be questioned further. He did not want to be the one to break it to her that Jax set Tara up for heartbreak.
"Fine, I'll go see Tara myself. She'll tell me." Gemma muttered to herself.
"Hello Mark, I was looking for Tara?" Gemma said politely when Tara's father came to the door, hiding the disgust she felt for the man that had abandoned Tara when she needed him the most.
"Not here. Moved to college." Mark slurred.
"What do you mean moved to college?" Gemma pushed.
"I mean she moved away from you and that poisionous club." He puffed his chest up, eyes glazed over.
"Where?" Gemma asked, surely Tara hadn't left without saying goodbye.
"She's not in California. That's all you need to know." He shut the door in Gemma's face.
Gemma rushed back home to find all of Samcro there, ready for the dinner that she hadn't even started working on yet dealing with the Tara issue.
"Jackson! What do you know about Tara moving away from California?" Gemma shouted at him causing everyone in the room to stare at them.
Jax's eyes shot up. She's already gone? How had she left so fast?
"She chose to go to school." He said, looking down at the floor. "She decided that's what she needed to do." He lied, he couldn't bring himself to admit he's the reason she left.
"That's such bullshit." Donna yelled interrupting him. "She left because YOU made her. YOU fucked that crow-eater and set her up to walk in on it. She left because YOU told her she had no family here and that YOU didn't want her. DO NOT put this on her asshole." Donna screamed at him.
Donna had the memory of Tara laying on her bedroom floor screaming into her pillow, crying hysterically.
Everyone was staring at Jax.
"What is she talking about?" Gemma stepped forward standing toe to toe with Jax.
"I had to. She was going to give up her dream of becoming a doctor to be with me, to be an old lady for Samcro. She's so much better than that. She deserves better than me. I only saved her from resenting me and the club down the line after she wasted her life being with me." A single tear fell from his eye. "I loved her enough to let her go, if you love her like you say you do, you'll let her be." He walked away, grabbing another bottle of tequila on his way out.
Opie followed him out. "I understand why you did what you did. I don't understand why you did it the way you did it."
"Let it go bro, I'm not in the mood." Jax growled.
"No I won't let it go. We all loved Tara and you broke her heart. Cheating and telling her we weren't her family, that was a bitch move and you know it." Opie hissed back at him.
"I had to. She wouldn't leave otherwise. She was willing to let the cheating go and stay anyways. I had to do something." Jax chugged the tequilla in his hands.
"Maybe it wasn't your call, maybe you should have been man enough to let her make her own decision."
"Fuck you man, just get the hell out." Jax shoved Opie out the door.
"You can be pissed at me all you want brother, but you know I'm right. The way you handled things was messed up. You didn't even consider the possibility of you making her leave you left her in an unfamiliar place and unprotected. If someone wanted to hurt Samcro, who do you think they're going to go after dumbass? The prince's old lady who is now God knows where and not under any protection."
Jax's head snapped up, obviously never considering the possibility of anyone attacking the club through Tara.
Tara arrived in New York, luckily her aunt still lived there and agreed to let her stay with her until she got into the dorm housing in the fall.
Tara kept herself busy working two jobs, refusing to give herself time to think. If she thinks about him, it's possible she'd pack up right now and go back to him. The only thing really keeping her from it was the words that haunted her dreams. "I don't want you anymore, I'm not your family." Those words played over and over no matter how much she tried to forget.
"Hey Jax is looking for you. He's worried you're going to be a target from Samcro's enemies." Tara read the message from Donna. She changed her number and only gave it to Donna after making her promise she wouldn't let anyone know she knew where she was.
"I'll be fine. I had the crow covered, I've cut my hair. I doubt anyone will even know I've ever been associated with the club. Don't tell them where I am. They won't be able to find me. My records at the college and my employment are sealed, I only use cash and this phone well it's a prepay. I just can't see him right now especially if it's only because he doesn't want me hurt because of him. He doesn't want me, so I don't want to see anyone from the club right now. I just need time, please D don't tell anyone." Tara replied, hoping her best friend would listen.
"Okay, call me if you need anything. If anyone suspicious contacts you, call. I don't want you hurt. I love you T."
"Love you too. I'll be fine but I promise I'll call if needed." Tara put her phone back in her pocket and went back to stocking the shelf at work.
"Has anyone had any luck finding Tara?" Gemma asked, they had been searching for weeks. Every college Tara mentioned applying to said she wasn't enrolled there.
"No. There's no credit card trail, no phone record, we can't find anything. It's like she just disappeared." Jax threw his hands up in the air, running his fingers roughly through his hair.
"We'll find her baby." Gemma hugged him.
"I don't know, I'm thinking she doesn't want to be found. I fucked up pretty bad, ma."
"We will find her. It may take awhile, but something will come up somewhere." Gemma kissed his cheek and went back to sorting the repo orders.
"I hope so." Jax muttered.
TEN YEARS LATER
Tara had been away from Charming for ten years. As the time went by it goes easier for her but she couldn't deny her mind was always on the one man who would always hold her heart despite her current relationship status.
Her time away from Charming was coming to an end as she was set to transfer her residency there in a few weeks. She was tired of hiding from her past. Charming was her home, it would always be her home.
Donna and Opie's wedding was approaching and Tara's the maid of honor. Donna has assured her that no one knows she's coming since even after all of this time no one knows they still communicate. Donna has visited Tara several times over the past ten years, always telling Opie she's visiting her mom which was convenient since her mom only lived a couple of hours away from Tara.
Donna had informed Tara about Jax's shotgun wedding to Wendy a year ago, which broke Tara's heart since it was none other than Wendy that Jax cheated on her with. Their marriage didn't last long and Donna promised her it wasn't love, he was hardly even home, he was lonely and missed Tara fiercely.
Tara refused to let herself slip back into that hole. She had moved on. Things were different. She wasn't the foolish little girl who would give away everything for love anymore and if it wasn't for St. Thomas offering her a better position and better hours she would probably still be hiding from her past.
Tara dressed quickly in the church dressing room. She had managed to sneak through the back with the help from Donna. She wasn't ready to see Jax yet.
The music started and Tara was taking deep breaths. She could sense Jax in the next room even though she couldn't see him yet. Her heart was racing.
Donna's cousins were the bride's maids and were walking out first, Tara continued breathing heavily.
It was finally her turn and slowly she turned the corner, looking up from the floor making eye contact with the boy who had broken her heart ten years ago.
She watched his mouth drop open, clearly shocked to see her. He was even more gorgeous than she remembered and she wasn't sure how that was even possible.
She made it to her spot in front of Chloe and stared at the floor. She could feel his eyes on her and had to remind herself to breathe.
The rest of the ceremony went by way to fast and she knew the moment she had mixed emotions about was fast approaching.
Donna and Opie kissed for their first time as Mr. and Mrs. Harry Winston and they exited the church.
It was time for Jax to walk Tara out. He held out his arm to her and she looped hers through his, still staring at the floor. Her whole body was shaking.
They stepped outside and Jax finally spoke. "You look beautiful." He gave her his lopsided grin, and she felt her insides tingle. Shit.
"Thank you." She said, pulling her arm from his. "Jax, this is Luke, my fiance." She gestured to the man who stepped up and wrapped his arm around her.
