13.00 PM, St Hogarts Grounds
"Ye gods, look at that," drawled the Earl of Malfoy, nodding in the direction of an elderly lady in a rather shabby bottle-green raincoat who walked up the drive. "This hardly seems the day to see applicants for the post of cleaner? Draco, don't tell me you're supposed to consort with the likes of …"
Before his son could answer, however, a voice shouted "Gran!" and a boy in the St Hogarts uniform ran towards her. For one moment, it seemed as if he lessened his speed. Had he overheard Lord Malfoy's remark? But then re ran on and embraced the old lady, nearly knocking her hat off in the process.
"Oh, Neville," they heard her say. "Don't be clumsy – it's my best hat." The boy grinned apologetically, offered her his arm, and together they made their way towards the swimming pool.
"Her best hat?" exclaimed Lady Malfoy. "She voluntarily wears – she takes pride in wearing a hat decorated with a vulture? At least, one presumes it's a vulture. Surely Nature couldn't be so unkind to twokinds of birds?"
Draco grinned. "That's Neville Longbottom and his grandmother," he explained. "Thank heavens he's in Gryffindor house. Stupid oaf. His gran always wears that hat to Half-Term Day. And Vulture Hat sums it up – Mum, you're priceless!"
"Your mother is most certainly a luxury few can afford," smiled his father. "Now, you wanted to show us the new science lab?"
"Yes, it's great! And the teacher isn't bad either – he lets us experiment with chemicals! Longbottom nearly burnt a hole in the table, of course, but Mr Snape says I'm really quite good at it …" Chatting excitedly, Draco led his parents in the direction of the lab.
16.00 PM, at the swimming pool
"… so our four Founders would be proud to see all these happy, healthy boys and girls together. And now you'll agree that I've kept you from important matters for quite long enough. There's a tea waiting for you in the Great Hall – and from what I've heard it's smashing."
A thunderous applause mixed with laughter followed Headmaster Dumbledore's words. Minerva applauded and smiled, too, thinking how cleverly Albus contrived to get such enthusiasm. A short, dignified, highly traditional speech on the four Founders of St Hogarts, their innovative ideas on co-education, and the virtues they wanted to instil in their students. And then a joke and the promise of food. It was always a roaring success.
The first parents and students started to make their way towards the main building. Voices mingled. "That was a very good dive, Fred," said Mrs Weasley as she and her family passed Minerva. "Mum, that was me, not Fred," replied one of the Weasley Twins; George, one presumed. No, not George. Minerva looked more sharply. It was Fred all right, teasing his mother as usual. Yes, there was the familiar "truly, do you call yourself our mother?"
And then all sorts of things happened at the same time. It couldn't have taken more than seconds, but to Minerva it seemed as if she saw it all in slow-motion.
The members of the relay-teams that had made up the final demonstration made their way to the dressing rooms.
Creevey Major ran towards Potter, camera in hand, yelling something about a great pic he had taken of Potter's finish.
At the same time, Longbottom rushed towards the team as well, from an opposite direction.
He swerved to avoid Creevey, although Minerva could have sworn there was no danger of collision. Then he seemed to stumble – but on what, for heaven's sake? He tried to regain his balance and grasped the nearest support. And the nearest support was the back of Lord Malfoy, who was propelled towards the edge of the pool by the impact.
For one moment it seemed as if both Longbottom and His Lordship were suspended in mid-air.
And then there was an almighty splash as two bodies hit the water.
Pandemonium broke out.
The students screamed first, and then they cheered and howled with laughter. The parents struck various poses of shock and dismay, and then joined their offspring in their mirth.
Longbottom's redoubtable grandmother looked … did Minerva see that correctly? Was there a look of mingled pride and smugness on Augusta's face? She would have expected the woman to yell at her unfortunate grandchild. True, Minerva had sent her a strongly-worded letter after that business over Longbottom's O-levels, but had she made that much of an impression on stubborn, self-assured Gussie Longbottom? Amazing.
There were, however, more pressing problems to sort out. Longbottom had made for the farthest ladder and heaved himself out of the water. Lord Malfoy had, understandably, chosen the nearest ladder. He, too, slowly emerged. It was amazing how a dip in the pool could utterly ruin all that Savile Row perfection. The dratted man – no, the poor man; he was, after all, the victim here – looked exactly like Mrs Norris, the school cat, that time when a student had thrown a bucket of water all over her. Bedraggled, scruffy, even the look of outrage was rather similar, Minerva noted with some amusement.
As Lord Malfoy looked towards his young assailant, his face turned from outraged to an expression of such malevolence that a hush fell over the spectators. Minerva hurried towards the scene.
In the sudden silence, only one voice was audible. "… positively drawn towards the water, did you see that? There must be a strong magnetic field in or near that swimming pool. And you know what that means, don't you, Luna?"
"Aliens!" cried an eager voice. Luna Lovegood looked up at her father. "Do you think I might see UFO's here? Do you really think so, Dad?"
"It's quite likely. You're a lucky girl, Luna, a very lucky girl."
While the Lovegoods rejoiced in their good fortune, Minerva reached the pool. Lord Malfoy looked murderous.
"Longbottom, go to Matron at once. You need to dry and change, or you'll catch a cold," she ordered. Longbottom took one look at the incandescent peer, murmured, "Yes, Miss," and ran off as hard as he could pelt.
The next ten minutes were spent on apologies, sincere at first but with increasing strength on the 'this was an accident' part as Lord Malfoy kept sneering and threatened the school with everything from cleaner's bills, which Minerva would be glad to meet, to lawsuits, which was ludicrous.
Finally, a temporary solution was reached. Lord Malfoy would borrow a set of clothes from House Master Snape, who was more or less of the same build. Then, once he was dry and dressed, he would return home. His wife would stay to take their son out to dinner, "for we can't possibly both disappoint Draco. Miss McGonagall will just have to find me something."
For that was the other problem – the splash when Longbottom and Malfoy went in had drenched Lady Malfoy from head to toes. The back of her outfit was still more or less dry, but the front of the silk dress clung to her in folds that were … that showed … Much as Minerva disliked the woman, she recognised spectacular tits when she saw them. And those endless legs … Never mind legs. The poor woman had to get dry and indoors as quickly as possible.
"I'll lend you an outfit of my own, Lady Malfoy," Minerva hastened to reassure her. "It will fit you well enough; we are much of the same height." This was not quite true. Even on high heels Narcissa Malfoy was shorter, and she would look rather dowdy in one of Minerva's dresses. But it couldn't be helped. Leaving Lord Malfoy in the more than capable hands of Severus Snape, Minerva and Lady Malfoy made their way to Minerva's private rooms.
16.15 PM, Miss McGonagall's private rooms
At the pool, in the public eye, Lady Malfoy had been graciousness personified. But Minerva found with grim satisfaction that the notion of wearing a dress that was slightly too long and considerably less elegant made the lovely Countess of Malfoy show her true self. She had turned into a pouting, churlish woman.
It was entertaining for all of two minutes. Too bad one could not reprimand her.
Although what Narcissa Malfoy really deserved wasn't a reprimand, but a few well-administered smacks with a hair brush. It clearly hadn't happened often enough during her school days. While secretly thinking of Narcissa bending over a chair for five of the juiciest, Minerva remained impeccably polite and aloof, thus forcing Lady Malfoy to behave herself.
Only, she didn't. Once inside Minerva's rooms, Narcissa coolly turned her back on her and ordered, "Unzip me."
