Disclaimer : Not mine.

A/n : Dedicated to Linnie McCary who wanted to see the same kinda drabbles from Dean.

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Reasons To Smile

Regret

You stare at Sam as he interviews the woman opposite him. You're pretending to be officers so you can finish this spirit. She's plump and has long blonde hair and a smile that's gonna melt you in a minute. Then, Sam asks her something and she replies that her son goes to Oxford, so sorry he's not here and Sam stops tapping the pen on the table. Your breath catches in your throat. He doesn't say anything on the ride back to the motel but you know. There're, truly, very few things you regret in this world but you never wanted this for Sam.

- - -

Pride

You watch Sam type away on the computer - in few seconds you know he's gonna have some information about the spirit. He proves you right, of course, and you grin, you're so damn proud of him. He chews on his fingernails as he types and, hell, you're proud of even that. You stare at him and you know it's shinig in your eyes but you won't let him see that. The second he turns away, though, it's back in your eyes and you whisper, that's my boy.

- - -

Respect

Some people really don't deserve your respect. That's the reason you wanted to smoke Gordon, the man's a sadist. It disgusts you sometimes how warped people can become. Then you think about what Sammy said when you wanted to kill the bastard, he said no. And you smile, because opposite every bastard in this world, there's Sammy.

- - -

Innocence

You see it shining through him, sometimes, but you think you only imagined it. You only want it to be true, for Sammy to be that little boy you held in your arms at the hospital, that boy is dead. Then you catch him making faces at a toddler in a diner and you grin. Maybe he's not dead ... only lost. Because somewhere buried inside the torture, pain, motels, lies, things in the night, Sam's still little. Or maybe you just want it to be that way.

- - -

Love

He knows you inside out - the thought should bother you, but it doesn't. He's made up his own - dictionary of Dean and God knows why, but it makes you feel loved. He knows what you really mean by bitch(little brother) and geek(brainy). He knows what you mean by whatever(I'm not really okay) and we'll deal with it later(don't leave, Sammy). It makes you fell like you're someone, not just a shadow, that he's knows the meaning of I'll take care of it (I'll protect you, Sammy, ain't nothin' gonna hurt you).

Love you.

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A/n : Hmmm, not quite satisfied but review!!