FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER TWO
Disclaimer: I do not own or receive profit for the Fairy Tail franchise. This is written for my enjoyment, and hopefully for the reader as well. Any recognizable characters are only being borrowed and will be put back in the toy chest.
SCARS
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
-"Scars" by: Papa Roach
The sun was at its highest and the open windows let in the light summer breeze. Lucy sits at the bar nursing a half-empty drink. Honestly, she's been in this exact seat since the crack of dawn. Lucy was never a heavy drinker. She had never had a drop of alcohol until she joined the guild. Ladies do not consume alcohol is what her father always said. The amber liquid sloshed around the edges of her cup as she swirls it absentmindedly. The guild is silent. Whispers could be heard, but most just sat around like Lucy with their own drink. No one had the heart to be cheerful anymore.
Lucy exhales heavily and finishes her drink in own swift gulp. Lucy looks out to the bright summer day. There was a sharp contrast between the outside world and the guild. Like night and day. Sort of like the Natsu she knew and the Natsu she knows now.
Natsu…
Lucy will admit that he scared the wits out of her when she saw him for the first time in two years. There was this vacant look in his eyes. Almost like… like there was nothing human left in him. The memory sent shivers down her spine. And let's not forget his panic attack after speaking to her. She was sure it was something that she had said. A twinge of guilt burned her heart. She had caused that look of sheer terror in his eyes.
"Lucy," Mirajane called softly, pulling her out of her dark thoughts. Lucy looked up to the white-haired she-demon. Lucy could see the bags under her eyes and how Mirajane's hair seemed to lose its luster. Natsu was taking his toll on everyone. "Would you like another?" Mirajane attempts a small smile, that doesn't reach her eyes, as she refills Lucy's glass. Lucy accepts the drink gratefully.
Lucy took small sip of her drink and let her eyes wander around the rest of the guild. Her eyes rested on a petite dark haired, purple eyed girl accompanied by a blue neko. Happy clings to the small girl, taking what comfort he can digest. Happy was taking the current circumstances the hardest. Well, whatever the circumstances were. Even Lucy didn't really completely understand what the hell was going on. The only information she was able to get was the little she could squeeze out of Kiyomi. And all Lucy found out was that Natsu had suffered through extensive trauma and there were also signs of severe torture.
The front doors slam open roughly letting in the summer sunshine on the gloomy guild. Lucy, along with many others, winced at sudden burst of sound. Standing tall in all his rugged glory is Gildarts. He stomps slowly down the path towards the bar. Silence pressed down in the guild. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath.
"Mira-chan," Gildarts booms heartily into the stillness, oblivious as always to his surroundings. "Lucy." A wide smile spreads across his features as he collects Lucy into his arms in a bear hug. His eyes skate over the guild once. "Where is Natsu?"
With that question, Happy lost it. The blue Exceed shot up into the air with a spine curdling cry and shot out of a window. Kiyomi shot up and raced after the neko. Lucy turned her attention back to Gildarts and wished she hadn't. The look on his face was out of place, a mixture of confusion, fear, and concern. Lucy's tongue betrayed her as it refused to emit even a single word. His eyes seemed to bore into her soul making her fidget uncomfortably. No one said a word. Everyone was still; waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.
For the second time that day, the front doors burst open with gusto. Instead of an imposing Gildarts, there was a rather miffed looking Ice Mage. Gray stalked towards the bar. He was met with a glass being shoved into his hand by Mirajane. Everyone present eyed him as he downed the drink in one go and motioned for another. Once he was done with the second one he finally spoke. "You guys know where Kiyomi is? Slanty eyed bastard burned me, and I need her to take a look at it."
Lucy's eyes traveled across his ribcage and up to his broad chest to see it a red blistering mess. How did she even miss that to begin with? Lucy found her eyes traveling to Gildarts again to see what he thought and was alarmed to find him on his way out the door. Without even thinking about it she rushed after the redhead.
"Gildarts, where are you going?" Her voice cracked with uncertainty.
"If no one is going to give me answers, then I will go to the source and get them myself." Gildarts voice brokered no disagreements. Lucy was a bit scared of the man before her. Gone was the carefree, easy-going adult. This version of Gildarts reminded her more of the man that was unleashed in battle.
She trailed after him silently. Natsu's house came into view and she was suddenly bombarded with the morning that she found him. She had been as unsuspecting as Gildarts was. She didn't know what she was going to find. Lucy had finally convinced herself to go and check on his house, make sure everything was okay, and maybe even tidy it a bit. What she didn't expect to see was what she could only describe as a broken human being. He bore scars inside and out.
Natsu's house was steadily coming closer and she risked a look at the intimidating Mage next to her. How would he react? What was going to happen if he saw what the lively Dragon Slayer had become? She wondered if it was going to destroy him like it did the rest of the guild. She didn't want that to happen but who was she to stop him? Gildarts was obviously a man on a mission.
Déjà vu hit her like a lightning bolt. There he was again, under that same tall tree. There were good memories with that tree, his favorite tree. He used to lounge around on the branches and spend the day sleeping peacefully and staring dreamily at the blue sky. Natsu was in the same position he was the last time. The same vacant look in his eyes. If it was possible, it looked like he had lost even more weight. His clothes literally drowned him.
"Natsu," Gildarts eyes had widened into saucers. All pretenses of warrior mode now vanished. Natsu didn't even seem to register that there was another human being in the vicinity, maybe even on the planet. He just sat there and stared at the sky. "Look at me… please." Gildarts looked to be in physical pain. Lucy backed away slowly to give them some much needed privacy.
"Leave," Natsu's voice sliced the air like a knife making Lucy freeze in her retreat. Gildarts stumbled back as the words hit their target. "Just- leave me be."
"Natsu," Gildarts sounded like he was pleading. Lucy shot him an incredulous look. Since when did the mighty Gildarts beg? Natsu still ignored him and looked back forlornly to the sky. The image reminded her of a sad majestic dragon. "Natsu please."
Natus's dark eyes move slowly to the despondent adult. "What? Hm? What do you want from me? Do you want to talk about it? No, maybe you want me to just smile and play pretend. Well, everything is not okay and I don't want to talk about it. I want to be left alone." Gildarts seemed panicked. That was never a good sign in Lucy's book. Natsu's voice was bereft of any emotion. No anger nor hate, nothing, just absolutely nothing.
"What happened to you? Tell me Natsu!" Gildarts was a vessel of emotions. She couldn't exactly pinpoint which one he was feeling.
"I died."
The statement hung in the air and permeated the sunny afternoon, covering it in darkness. Lucy stared at the obviously alive person in front of her. She didn't know what to make of the statement and it seemed neither did Gildarts.
"What you see is a corpse with nothing to live for," his voice is still deadpanned. "Whatever you want from me, I can no longer give you. Natsu Dragneel is, by all means, dead."
Lucy felt the tears fill her eyes and spill before she could stop them. This wasn't right. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. When she saw Natsu for the first time in two years, there should have been a rambunctious spiky pink haired boy running into her arms. He should have sauntered into the guild and take his place next to Happy. He was supposed to greet Gildarts back by starting a fight. This wasn't right! Natsu wasn't supposed to be like this! She flung herself at the unsuspecting Dragon Slayer. She held him tight and even when he tried to push her away, she only held on tighter. "Let us in. If you are dead then let your nakama bring you back to life. Don't shut us out. We are here for you! We- we love you."
"We- we love you." With those words, Natsu felt all the fight leave him in one fell swoop. He clenched his eyes shut, and tried not to feel her arms around him. He tried to push back the dark memories associated with the embrace. But, most of all, he tried to dispel of the rising nausea that the words gave him.
He wanted to laugh, because she sounded like she actually meant it. He wanted to cry, because maybe she did mean the words. He wanted to actually believe that she could love him. But he knew, oh Natsu knew, that it was a lie. All of it was a lie. No one actually cared about him. Two years in the pit taught him that.
Natsu finally pushed her away with a force he didn't know he was capable of. They wanted him to talk. They wanted him to relive every moment of the past two years. He shivered involuntarily. As if living through it once wasn't enough. What was talking about it going to do for him? Help him "heal". It was only going to cause him more pain.
He got up shakily and stared off in the opposite direction. He knew exactly what was going through Lucy's mind, as well as Gildarts'. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. He knew they expected him to just shrug it off. They had expected a Natsu that was carefree or baggage-free, as he liked to think of it.
"Natsu," Gildarts voice is demanding. There it is, the last shred of patience. He knew Gildarts well. The older Mage was nothing but a man with two faces. On one side, there was an easygoing, mellow type of man. A man that seemed almost childlike. Then there was the warrior side. The side that takes situations by the horns and handles it. A hardened man that is forced to make the hard decisions and ask the hard questions. Natsu could feel Gildarts slipping into warrior mode. "You will tell me what is going on! No more of this kind of behavior. And since when do you burn your friends? What is wrong with you?"
What is wrong with me?
Natsu wished he had all the answers. Maybe life could've been different if he did. What would happen when he told them where he had been in the last two years? Nothing. That's what would happen. There is no amount of talking that could reverse the darkness that lay just below the surface. The only thing that would change, is their view of him. The image of him that he wanted them to have would be tainted and ruined. He didn't want them to carry this burden. It was his cross to bear, and he would bear it alone.
"You want to know something about the last two years?" He turned around to see the two guild members leaning in eagerly. "There was no one there." He watched in satisfaction as the words hit their mark. Both simultaneously flinched back. "Sometimes, when the pain was white hot, I would scream. I would scream for you to save me. I would shout until my throat is sore. And then I would shout some more. There were times when I would convince myself that next time, surely next time, my friends would come to save me. Then next time would come around, and you still weren't there."
Natsu walked away, not even looking back to see how his friends took his words. He knew what he was doing with those particular memories. He chose the ones that would hurt the most, so they would leave him in peace. That was all he begged for nowadays. He prayed, though he knew better than to expect results, for blessed peace.
Natsu wandered around the forest absentmindedly. He was stuck in his mind and he no longer knew the way out. He could spend days in his mind and not know it. "Natsu?" A startled voice is what plunged him out of his mind. He met the shocked red eyes of Porlyusica. She was standing in front of her home with a brandished broom. "What are you doing here?"
Natsu fought back the urge to sigh. He was beginning to hate questions. He had had his fill of them today. "I was just strolling by. Sorry to have disturbed you."
Porlyusica furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I would believe you if you hadn't been standing in front of my house for the past fifteen minutes. I don't know what kind of game you are playing boy, but you better take it as far away from my home as possible."
At finding out he hadn't moved in that amount of time, Natsu uttering a soft "oh". He almost, almost, smiled at the abrasive tone of the hermit. It was refreshing. "I'm sorry Porlyusica. I didn't mean to alarm you."
Her eyebrows rose to almost comical heights on her face. Then she said something that Natsu was sure she didn't offer a lot. "Come in for a bit. You look like you could use a bit of tea." He followed the pink-haired healer in stunned silence.
The home was cozy and begged for company that didn't normally grace it. He wondered why Porlyusica lived alone. He wouldn't wish being alone on his worst enemy. The smell of an herbal tea is pushed abruptly under his nose. He graciously curled up on the armchair by the roaring fire and sipped the tea. He hummed in appreciation at the hit of spice that tingled his throat on the way down.
"The color of your aura is interesting."
Natsu's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "My aura?"
Porlyusica isn't looking at him. She stares off into the fire as her voice takes on a storytelling lilt. "Everyone has an aura. It displays a person's… wellbeing, for lack of a better word. Each person has a unique default aura. Yours is a vibrant red, it sort of reminds me of a hearth. There is a homely feeling about your aura." Natsu listened to the woman enraptured. "However, in certain cases, auras can change in shade, hues, and in extreme cases a different color entirely. Your aura has changed colors. Your vibrant red is now a muddy swamp green. This usually means the person is unwell. Whether it be physical sickness or sickness of the mind. I cringe to think what could change your aura to such a color. They are on completely different sides of the spectrum."
Natsu reeled from all the information thrown at him. It gave him insight on how Porlyusica viewed people, and probably why she didn't want to be around many humans. To see what everyone was feeling all the time, it would be hell. He felt like Porlyusica was sharing a little of herself with him. This information had Natsu feeling humbled.
"May I ask, what brought on such a drastic change in your aura?" He wanted to smile at the wording. If only his muscles remembered how to smile. Her request gave him the perfect out to the question. Natsu mulled it over in his head. The request was… fair. It didn't need to be a detailed description. So he settled on one word.
"Golem."
A/N: I have finally finished this second chapter. I felt the need to almost completely re-do it. Once I started making changes, I just couldn't stop. I will begin working on Chapter Three and get that up soon. As always I hoped you enjoyed and I encourage you to review. Tell me how you like the changes and what you didn't like. Ciao. ~RiLeY~
P.S: If this is your first time reading this story then there are some things I need to rectify. When I though of the name Golem in my head, it sounded like Go-lem rather than the more pronounced Gah-lem. I thought that it would be better to understand pronunciation so that you can maybe better understand the story.
