First of all, I'd like to say 'thank you' to Gill, Tonguemarksonmymirror, Lilo and Irene for their reviews and opinions. Especially to you, Tonguemarksonmymirror for your support and advices.

Lilo, answering your question – no, he's not dead. Not yet, anyway. He's now somewhere between life and death :)

And to YOU ALL for reading my story and for following it :)

Okay, let's start! Good luck to you all!


Chapter 1: The Perfect Candidate.

Genre: Drama, Angst, Family, Romance, Spirit.

Rating: T.

Characters: Mainly Killian. Also Smee, Regina, Tinkerbell, Milah and unknown characters.

Pairings: Killian/OC, Milah/Killian, Tinker/Hook, Regina/Smee, Regina/Hook.

WARNINGS: Possible rape(mentioned); violence; child abuse(mentioned); language; characters' death(mentioned).


Killian's POV:

(1)"You know that place between sleep and awake,

the place where you can still remember dreaming?

That's where I'll always love you.

That's where I'll be waiting."

Killian kept looking up at the sky, smiling widely. He knew he was about to die, but he wasn't scared. Suddenly he felt so... Peaceful. Suddenly he believed he can be happy again. Without Her he was lost; he didn't know who he was anymore. But it was about to change now. He knew She was near. He could feel it with his heart's beating. For real, this time.

"You've always seemed peaceful in Neverland" he heard familiar voice behind his back, turning as fast as he could to see the speaker.

"Hello, Tinker" Killian said, being unable to hide his disappointment. He hadn't seen the fairy in long centuries. And he didn't want to. He desperately ached for Milah. She was near, he knew it.

"You don't seem to be happy with seeing me" She noticed, smiling weakly. She hasn't changed, not even a bit. Why would she? "I guess it's because of your...pangs of conscience, isn't it?" she added, flying nearer to him "Was she worth it?" she asked, trying to touch Killian's cheek, but he didn't let her to do so. "Was she worth killing me, Pan?"

"The name is Jones. Killian Jones" he corrected her, looking away. Of course, he should have expected that question. He never forgave himself. He didn't even tell Milah about it. Milah, who knew everything about him, who knew every dark detail and secret of his past... ! Every, except this one. He'd never do that to her. He knew she'd blame herself, although she'd do nothing to change it. He'd not allow her for that. Killing Tinkerbell was the price he had and has to pay. Pay for leaving Neverland and growing up. For finding Milah and taking her away. For giving her life she was made for. For watching her smile. For loving her and being loved by her. For holding her when she ached for her son. For arguing with her and making love to her. For fighting for her and protecting her. For teasing her for her stubbornness. For taking her where she belonged. For failing her and watching her die. For avenging her and her death. For being reunited with her.

One day.

Soon.

Pretty soon.

"She was, Tinker. She would always be."

(2)"I paid the cost too late.

Now you're gone."


Killian's story:

(3))"I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir.

Because I am not myself, you see?

Life isn't meant to be easy. Of course it isn't. Sometimes, however, it's even harder for some, right from the start. Because there is always beginning of every story. Especially the legendary one.

Kingdom of Wessex; Early X century, Late Spring.

"Get ready to set sail!" Blond haired pirate shouted to his crew, coming up the ship. His face was hard, almost emotionless. The men seemed to be surprised, after all they've just came to the port yesterday's morning. No one dared to say anything, though. It was clear they were scared of their Captain, and it had nothing to do with respect. They were fully aware what he is capable to do. It was always enough for him to want to.

"How's the brat?" He snapped after few seconds, getting ready for the sail himself. The crew, however, stayed silent, though few men shivered nervously. "I asked something" he said watching them darkly.

"He's gone" young man finally said. He was scared, but less cowardly than others. "He ran away."

"What do you mean 'he ran away'? You want to say that you let him go, Wallace?" Captain asked, getting more and more annoyed. Band of idiots! "You better find him! He's our chance for the treasure!"

"He's just a boy, Captain!" Wallace knew that as long as you don't have death wish, it's better not to stand against Captain Blade. He was using his moniker for a reason after all. "No older than six."

"He's the royal bastard. They'll pay a lot to keep us quiet, and him, alive. He might be useful for them, when the time will come" Blade explained, looking up at the sky. It seemed that weather was perfect for sailing. "Go and find him" he ordered, still looking at the sky. "Take few men with you and do whatever is needed to get him back."


Kingdom of Wessex; Almost a year later.

"Could you, please, help me?" Young woman asked, trying to pick up a huge duffel. She was speaking to a very young boy, who was smiling beautifully to the thoughts only he knew. The boy seemed to be lost in his own world, looking at stars through a small window. He was a beautiful, tiny creature with big blue eyes and high hopes. He was a boy with dazzling dreams of endless freedom of soul. Yes, he felt trapped. He didn't belong here.

"Of course, Nanna" he said to her, without hesitation helping her with the duffel. A year had passed already since he was taken away from sea life. From the only life he truly knew. From a life he was born into. He knew how to hold a sword, before he learned how to speak. Although he was barely seven years old, he knew perfectly how to fight, to haunt, to love the wildness, nature and the sea. Or, of course, how to ruthlessly use that dirty mouth of his. That 'pirate blood' in him. Raised in hard and harsh times, in a brutal society, he was fully aware how cruel people might be. Nanna wasn't any different.

"I thought I've told you to stop doing that" she reminded him, when they finally found a perfect place to put down the duffel. "This is your life now. A pirate ship isn't a place for a child."

"I come from there. I shall always dream about the sea" he said, looking at her coldly. "Did you set the duffel for my mother?"

"You're asking me that every time" she noticed. It was clear she was annoyed. "Your whore mother will never come back. Keep that on your mind."

"She's not a whore! She's a pirate!" It wasn't their first argument about it. The boy's memory of his mother was still too fresh, too recent, to let anyone to cloud it, in any way. He knew her better than anyone else. She was the one, who taught him everything he knew and could do now. "She's better than you'll ever be!" He kept shouting, and before he could do anything, he was slapped in the face. Hard. "Come on, do your worst. Or call that husband of yours" yes, sometimes he just couldn't be quiet. He was anything but a childlike. Life and fate have been far too harsh on him to let him ever be a child. Besides, in this society, he was already old enough to work and earn for family.

"Cellach, this is your life now. I'm sorry but you have to understand; your mother's promiscuity costed our family a lot. She tried to convince us that the Prince did something against her will, while she asked for it. She bore the consequences and gave a birth to you, but instead of staying in the village, she ran away with you. She chose a sea life over her family. She'd rather became the pirate's whore, than be a faithful wife" Nanna said, forcing boy to seat down on the wooden chair.

"This isn't my name."

"It is. And this is your life" she repeated. "She was a bad woman. But she is gone for good now."

"She's not. She'll come back. She'd always come back for me" the boy kept saying desperately. This woman didn't know his mother. She was her cousin, but she didn't know her at all. He wasn't sure what she meant by some words, and he had a feeling that it was better not to know. He knew one thing for sure, however – Rowena would leave her son, but she'd never do that without knowing that he is safe. "And she's a pirate. One of the bravest that ever were born" it was the truth. She was a better pirate than most of Captain Raven's crew. 'Cellach' never knew his father, and he never wanted to. He had Rowena, he had the pirates' crew, he had the Captain. It was enough. But there was one thing Nanna was right about – it wasn't a life for a child. Although he'd never understand it.

He still remembered that day perfectly. The day when everything changed. When Raven's ship was attacked by other pirates. When his mother made him to run away to save himself. It wasn't easy task to do, though. He was a damn stubborn creature. He wanted to fight, he did fight. Until Raven covered boy with his own body to save his life. Until 'Cellach' was all covered in Captain's blood. He had no idea what his mother told to the other crew, but instead of killing him, they took him away. Previously she made him to promise that he'll run away when he'll only get a chance to. That he'll go to Nanna and stay there, until Rowena come back for him.

And he did.

He listened to her.

And he was still waiting.

"She's dead, you ungrateful bastard!"

"She's... She's what?" He tried to understand what his 'aunt' just said, but it was too much to handle. He didn't understand, he couldn't understand it...! He hated this life. He hated this land. He hated her. Before Nanna could stop him, he stood up and ran fast out of the small house he lived in. He had no idea where he was heading to, or how long he was running for, or how he ended in the middle of the forest. He didn't care at all that the night was coming soon. He didn't want to believe in what he just heard. He didn't want to believe he was left all alone, on the land. He had no sea around. He had no family anymore. Cause Nanna was anything but his family. She didn't even like him. She just simply owned something to his mother. Or that's what he heard. Rowena wasn't perfect. She probably wasn't even that kind of mother she should be. But she was his mother. And it was all that mattered to him. He knew that he will come back to the sea. And when the time will come, he'll avenge her. He'll avenge them all.

He didn't realise that he sat under the tree. He didn't know he was crying. He wasn't aware that someone was watching him. He didn't even try to fight against exhaustion. He cried himself to sleep.

(4)"You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them.

In one of the stars I shall be living.

In one of them I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing,

when you look at the sky at night...

You - only you - will have stars that can laugh."


(5)"This one's for the lonely
The ones that seek and find
Only to be let down
Time after time."

"He's perfect" middle aged man said, watching sleeping boy. He was observing that young pirate's child since long months. He had plans for him. He was ready to change his whole life. Forever.

"You're sure about that?" Young woman asked. She was a very tiny creature, no taller than 4 feet and 7 inches. She had sweet, young face and big, violet eyes. "We both know there is no way back, Merlin."

"Every legend needs a hero" he said to her calmly. "And every legendary place needs a leader. He's perfect for it. He's perfect for Neverland."

"But why him? We've seen better candidates" she kept arguing.

"Maybe. But none of them was like him. None had such an innocent heart and such damaged mind. None of them believed in something so completely, none loved so passionately. He's too experienced to be a child, my dear Thumbelina. Therefore he'll always be unable to become an adult. He'll never fully grow up. He's a perfect candidate" Merlin explained.

"What shall we call him?" Thumbelina asked, seeming to understand the wizard's arguments now. Yes, wizard's. They've created fairylands together before, but this one... Neverland was special. It was about to be special.

"His mother named him Peter. Let's have him that" Merlin answered.

"Peter Pan" she added, looking at boy with a small smile on her face. "The rock, the nature, the wildness."

"Ideal. Make sure he'll never leave Neverland for good."

"Me?" Thumbelina asked, surprised.

"He needs a guardian, and the land was your idea. You deserve for being a part of it" Merlin admitted, smiling sadly at her. "He will always be connected with Neverland. It'd never be the same without him. He cannot leave, otherwise..." he cut, not knowing how to say it.

"Otherwise what, Merlin?"

"He'll be cursed. For good."

"We shouldn't do that to him. To anyone. To any child" she couldn't agree with it. It was too much to pay.

"Everything comes with a price. I've done everything I could, Thumbelina" he knew that nothing good was waiting for Peter in this world. Neverland wouldn't hurt him. "He will not remember who he was. He will forget everything. Neverland will make him forget. He'll be happy there" he promised her. "He won't be alone. There will be others" he told her the truth. He had everyone Neverland needed. Everyone, except Pan. "Be careful with travelling between the worlds. It's easy to get lost and there is no way back without magic" he warned young woman again, touching her left arm. "He cannot leave without you, remember it" he added and in a blink of an eye there was no Thumbelina anymore. Instead he could see a small, blonde haired fairy, who looked exactly like her, but was so tiny that it was easy to miss her.

"Use your powers wisely... Tinkerbell."

(6)"When I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter."


Present: Storybrooke;

(7)"All this time spent in vain;

wasted years, wasted gain

All is lost but hope remains

and this war's not over."

A dark haired man was lying on the ground. He lost so much blood, he was barely conscious, and his skin was deathly pale.

"What's wrong with him?" Another man asked. "What's wrong with the Captain?"

"I wish I'd know, Smee" a woman answered him. She was probably in her late thirties, but she was still more beautiful than Snow White herself. "We have to help him, otherwise he'll die" she admitted, not knowing herself why she wanted to help him. Maybe because she was understanding his motives? His pain? Maybe because... Maybe because if there wouldn't be Hook, she'd never be reunited with her mother? She'd never have a chance to win Henry back? Because she was sure she'll win him back. He was her son. He was her life. "Let's get him to my mother. As much as I hate to admit it, she's the only one who can help him."

"But how? Rumpelstiltskin did this, it's obvious! Only he'd help him!"

"No Smee. Rumpelstiltskin would rip his heart out and crush it. It's his... Speciality" Regina never thought that she and Smee would be working together. But then, again, no longer than few weeks ago she'd never have believed that she'd be reunited with Cora. With her mother. With a woman that destroyed her life.

"So who then? Who did this?"

"Someone much more powerful than the Dark One himself."

(8)"There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine."


I hope you liked it :) Please, let me know what you think. And if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask! :)

NEXT CHAPTER is going to be special :) It'll be a small gift for you, my dear Tonguemarksonmymirror :) I hope you'll like it :) And that you liked this chapter :)

Thank you for all your reviews again and I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes! xxx

Credits:

(1) "Peter Pan" by J.M Barrie

(2) "Falling Slowly" by G. Hansard

(3) "Alice in Wonderland" by L. Carroll

(4) "The Little Prince" by A. de Saint-Exupéry

(5) "Comes and Goes" by G. Laswell

(6) "In the End" by Linkin Park

(7) "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday

(8) "Dark Paradise" by Lana Del Rey.