MAURA'S POV

So I told you how that day went. But what I didn't tell you was that when Jane Rizzoli wakes up, I'm leaving. I'll say my goodbye to Jane, then I'll walk out off her hospital room. She'll never see me again. I know its cruel to leave like that but it will be best for us both if I leave. I know most of you will think I'm leaving because I'm weak, but it's not that what's making me leave. Just give me a few minute's to try and explain the best I can. You see there's something I never told you.

That day that lead us to where we are now, the day Jane shot herself. When Bobby was dragging Jane away from me and out of the autopsy room. When I knew she was doing what she was doing to make sure Frankie and me got out safely. I held her gaze when she met mine, it was precise second I knew I had fallen madly in love with Detective Jane Rizzoli. That is why I have to leave. Me and Jane could never have a future together.

I'm not leaving because I can't see a future for us together, I'm leaving because I can't put myself through this any more. I can't sit back and watch as my best friend puts everyone's life before her own. I can't do it. And I couldn't be in a relationship with someone like that. For once I just want Jane to put herself before anyone else. I know she loves her family. I know that. I also know that it would kill her family if she did anything like this again. I can't sit around waiting for that day to come that I have her body on my autopsy table, because she again put someone else's life before her own. I know it's her job to protect people. She's damn good at doing her job. But she could do it without putting herself in more danger than she is already in.

I didn't know her when Hoyt first went after her, but I heard the stories. She went into that basement with no backup. She was my best friend when Hoyt went after her the second time, it was killing me knowing that he might get to her, again.

When we were in the autopsy room that day, watching her being pulled away, I thought I would never get the chance to tell her how I felt about her. I still don't know if I'll ever be able to tell her. Right now...I'd have to stay that she will never know how I feel about her. If I told her before I left that would make it ten times worst. I love her to much to sit back and watch how easily she puts everyone before her.

That day Bobby Marino should have took me, not Jane. It should be me laying in this bed, not Jane. Jane's strong, she'd have been able to pull through, if I had died. I'm not half as strong as Jane is, I know I can't and I won't be able to pull through if she never wakes up.

Jane's waking up.

"Maur..." Jane croaked out.

"Hey..." Maura can't stop the tears from falling. "You're awake."

"Where am I?" Jane asked. "What..." Maura watched as Jane closed her eyes. She knew she was trying to remember what had happened. "What happened?"

"You were shot, Jane." Maura tells her.

"By who?" Jane whispered.

"You. You shot yourself." There's no emotion in Maura's voice.

Jane's eyes slowly open. "Marino?" She questions.

"He's dead." Maura replies.

"He was dirty. He killed Danny." Jane said, more to herself. All of a sudden Jane has a boost of energy, she's tries to sit up. To get off the bed. She looks at Maura, eyes pleading with her to help her. Jane's remembered. She has remembered everything that happened that day. She remembers Maura saving Frankie. "Frankie? Oh, my god Maura, Frankie?"

Maura stands up, moving closer to Jane. "He's okay, Jane. He's okay." Maura gently pushes Jane back down. "You need to relax, or you'll rip you're stitches. How are you feeling?"

Jane ignores Maura's question. "Frankie's alive?"

"Yes, Frankie's alive."

Jane looks at Maura and for the first time she realises her best friend is crying. "Hey, you okay?"

Maura sits back down. "You're alive. I...I didn't..."

"Hey. It's okay. I'm okay. I...I'm sorry." Jane whispered looking away. She's crying because she thought I was going to die.

"Your sorry about, Jane? Shooting yourself? Hurting your family? Shooting yourself in front of me, to make sure I had no choice but to watch as a bullet went though you? Tell me Jane, what are you sorry for?" Maura yelled.

"You...you sa...saw?" Jane stammered.

"Yes, I saw. Once I knew...once I knew Frankie was okay, I came after you...I saw you pull that trigger, Jane." Maura sobbed.

"I didn't know you were there." Jane whispered.

"If you did know...if you knew I was there, would it have made any difference? Or would you still have shot yourself?" Maura asked.

"I needed to know that you and Frankie were safe." Jane said, looking at Maura. "I did what I did because I couldn't see another way out."

"Not what I asked you." Maura replied. "Would it have changed anything?"

"I don't...I don't know." Jane admitted. There was no point in lying, Maura would know. But Jane couldn't tell her nothing would have changed, because she didn't know if it would have. She didn't know if knowing Maura was there, would have changed the outcome. But she did know that it was breaking her heart knowing Maura watched her shoot herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there. I thought you were in the autopsy room."

"What? That makes it okay?" Maura asked. She had never been so angry in her life. "Even if I were in the autopsy room when you shot yourself, do you really think I'd feel better, knowing my best friend had shot herself to get the bad guy, while a Doctor wasn't around. You nearly died that day Jane. I could have lost you before I told you that I..." Maura realised what she was going to say and stopped.

"Told me what?" Jane asked.

"I need to tell you're family you are awake." Maura stood up. "You need to rest, Jane."

"Maura...wait..." Jane stopped. She knew she didn't have a good reason to ask Maura to stay. "Are you coming back?"

"Yes." Maura said.

MAURA'S POV

While I was walking out of Jane's room to go and tell her family that she was awake, I was thinking how easy it would be not to go back. Jane was awake, my plan was I left as soon as she woke up. But I also planned to say goodbye to Jane before I left. I couldn't really call that a goodbye. Could I? NO...I have to go back, I have to say goodbye to her. I can't just leave now.

I walk into Frankie's hospital room, for the first time. Everyone turns to look at me. It's the first time they have seen me outside off Jane's room. I don't like how they look at me. Their grateful, everyone of the Rizzoli's is grateful that I managed to save Frankie. I can see it, and I don't like it. The hospital Doctors saved Frankie, not me, I just gave him more time, until the Doctors reached him. But they all think I saved him. I didn't.

"Maura..." Frankie says.

I smile. "How are you Frankie?" The last time I saw Frankie, he was lying on an autopsy table.

"I'm okay. Thanks to you. I've heard I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. So thank you." Frankie smiles.

"We owe Doctor Isles everything." Angela said. Before she says it, I already know what she is going to say next. "She saved two off my babies in one day."

No. No. NO. but before I say anything that I shouldn't, I tell them, "Jane's awake." I smile then walk out of the room. I can't let them see me like this, they will know something is wrong. They will not be grateful to me for much longer, they will hate me. I walk out of the hospital and sit on a bench. I need time to myself.

I'll be leaving my family behind. Without an explanation. I'm just going to leave. My family. Yes, I'm not blood related to any off them, but it doesn't stop me loving Angela and Frank like they are my own parents. Frankie like a brother. I realise now that I have never loved Jane like a sister. She is my best friend. I have never thought of Jane as a sister. Now...I'm grateful that I never did.

I don't know how they will take me leaving. But I know I can't say goodbye to any off them. Apart from Jane. But I know it's the least Jane deserves from me.

Walking back into the hospital, I navigate myself back to Jane's room. But I don't go in, instead I stand against the door frame as I watch Jane, Angela and Frank. I realise for the first time that Angela and Frank aren't arguing. They weren't arguing in Frankie's room either. Every time I saw them before they came to visit Jane, they stood outside arguing. If I didn't see them I could hear them. I talked to Jane when I heard them, just so Jane wouldn't hear. She hate knowing that her parents were arguing.

I watch as they all hugged each other. I see Angela and Frank smile. Frank say something and they all laugh. I don't know what he says, but I find myself smiling at them. This moment I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. I look at Jane, it's the first time I have seen her smile in three days. Our eyes met, and I know my smile has just got a tiny bit bigger.

"Hey, you came back." Jane said, eyes locking onto Maura's.

Walking into the room, Maura replied, "I told you I would." Maura walked to Jane's side and smiled. "How are you feeling? Has the Doctor been to see you yet?"

"I'm okay, bit sore. But doing well. Yea, he came just as you left. Everything is healing perfectly." Jane smiled.

"I know. I read you're medical records more than ten times everyday." Maura smiled. "I hope you don't mind."

"No at all." Jane said, before her Mother cut it.

"She saved both you and Frankie that day, Janie." Angela saw Jane's confused look. "She saved you as well, not just Frankie. She drove you here, the ambulance was taking there time. You couldn't hold out much longer. Korsak and Frost put you in Maura's car. Korsak drove while Maura was in the back with you." Angela smiled. "You don't remember?"

Jane stopped listening to Angela when she saw Maura tense up at the mention of her saving both her and her brother. "Erm...No, I don't remember that." Jane tried to meet Maura's gaze, but Maura was looking everywhere expect at Jane. "You let someone else drive you're car?" Jane asked, shocked.

"I didn't have a choice. If I wanted you to live you needed to get to the hospital...fast. Getting you there via my car was the only option." Maura finally looked at Jane.

Jane held Maura's gaze for a few seconds before Maura looked away. Something is wrong...very wrong.

"Maura, have you got a piece of paper and a pen...please?" Jane asked, she wanted to get rid off her parents so she could find out what was bothering her best friend enough not to look at her.

"No, but I can ask one of the nurses for some. I'll be right back." Maura smiled. She didn't know what Jane wanted with paper and pen. But she couldn't think straight enough to try and figure it out. Maura walked back into Jane's room a few minutes later and handed Jane the items. She watched as Jane wrote.

Hey little bro, I'm so glad to hear you're okay. Can't wait to see you. Won't be long, we'll be out of here in no time. I miss you. I'll come and see you as soon as I can get out off bed, without nearly falling into Maura as I do. Janie

Folding it up, Jane passed it to her ma, "can you give it to Frankie for me?"

"Now?" Angela asked, disappointed.

"Yea, Ma...Now." Jane looked at her dad for help.

"Come on, Ange. Let's go." Frank said, smiling at his daughter. Leaning over he kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you're okay Jane. I love you."

"I love you too Pop." Jane smiled. She waited until they left and closed the door behind them before she turned her attention back to Maura.

"You didn't have to get them to go now. They haven't seen you awake in three days, Jane." Maura said.

"I know, but I needed to talk to you. No...actually you need to talk to me. What's going on Maura?" Jane asked. "And don't tell me it's nothing, okay. You can barely look at me." When Maura went and sat back in the chair, Jane didn't think she would talk. "Dammit Maura. I got shot, I can still read people and something is obviously bothering you."

"Jane..."

"Dammit Maura...Just talk to me."

"I can't." Maura whispered.

"Maura..." Jane said through gritted teeth.

"Jane, please...can we just drop this?" Maura pleaded. She just wanted to spend time with her best friend before she left.

"Fine. But this isn't over. I'll get you to trust me again."

Maura looked at Jane. "It's not because I don't trust you Jane. Because I do, I just want to spend some time with you, like before. I just don't want to do this just yet." Maura said.

"Do what? Maura...you're scaring me." Jane said.

"How about we watch a film." Maura said pointing to the TV at the other side of the room, changing the subject. Looking back at Jane, she saw the worried look on her friends face. Maura smiled as she picked up the first movie she came across. Putting in the DVD player, Maura went and sat in the chair again as she skipped all the trailers.

"What movie is it?" Jane asked. Not really caring.

"Eat Pray Love. Have you ever seen it?" Maura asked.

"No. You?" Jane asked.

"No." Maura pressed play just at the right time. After the film has finished, you'll say goodbye then go.

Half way through the film, Jane noticed Maura kept moving positions in the chair. She can't get comfy. "Maura..." Jane waited until Maura looked at her. "You don't look comfy."

Maura smiled. "I'm not. I've been sitting in this chair for three straight days. After the first five hours it was uncomfortable." Maura saw Jane move over, making a bit more room on the bed. "Jane, what are you doing?"

"Moving over so you can lay on here with me." Jane replied.

"Jane...you don't have to do that."

"Come on Maura. Get on." Jane said. When Maura didn't move, Jane started again. "Maura...come on. We have laid in the same bed before."

"You didn't have a bullet wound any of the times before though." Maura said. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Maura...I'll tell you if you hurt me. Okay? But I can't sit back and watch as you try and get comfy. Now please, just lay down with me so I can watch the rest of this film. Because I actually like it." Jane smiled, as she turned her attention back to the DVD. A few minute later Jane felt Maura curl up next to her. "Sit up."

Confused Maura sat up slowly.

"You can lay back down again now." Jane said.

Slowly Maura laid back down, she felt Jane wrap her arm around Maura's shoulder and pull her closer. "Jane..."

"Maura, you couldn't lay like that. How would you have watched the film if you couldn't see it because I was in you're way." Jane laughed. Jane knew Maura was tensed, "I'll tell you if it hurts okay. Just watch the film."

MAURA'S POV

There I was laying with Jane. My head rested on her shoulder. This is exactly how I wanted to spend our last day. As soon as the film ends I'll lean up, kiss her cheeks, tell her I'm sorry, then I'll go. I'll fight myself not to look back. I don't want to see Jane's face as the realisation that I will never come back hits her.

Eat Pray Love. Has just become my new favourite movie. When I watch this I will always remember this day. Being here in Jane's arms.

I look at the TV and see the end credits rolling across the screen. This has come quicker than I imagined it would.

"You're not coming back are you?" I hear Jane's shaky voice. I don't understand how she could have known.

"Jane..." I whisper.

"Where are you going?" Jane sobs. She holds me tighter to her. I know I must be hurting her, but she won't let me pull away. Slowly she loosens her grip enough so I can lean up and kiss her cheek. But she still won't let me go. I can feel hot, wet tears against my lips, as she tightens her grip around me again. I lay my head on her shoulder, my mouth near her ear. I can feel tears falling down my cheeks. All of sudden I realise I can't leave. I will never be able to leave. The next words out of my mouth shock us both. "Marry me?"