Disclaimer: I don't own them!
Song by Patrick Swayze
I Will Never Be The Same, Part 2
She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
Duo rubbed his temples as he fell back on the couch as soon as he walked through the door. She was gone. Gone without a trace and if anyone even knew where she was, no one was telling him. He would admit it. He missed Hilde, her laughter, her sense of humor, and the way that her nose would wrinkle when she was annoyed with him. But she left without a word to him, only leaving a note with Quatre to give to him. In the note she had expressed her regret on leaving without telling him and the fact that she had sold her part of their business to him. And she had hoped he would be happy. The note was splashed with what looked suspiciously like tears. He had felt his stomach tighten when he noticed that. And even being three weeks ago, his stomach would still churn and his heart would now constrict painfully. He sighed. "Hilde, where did you go?" he asked to himself.
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
He knew why she left. She didn't have to say it or write it. The reason was standing in the kitchen at this moment. She had hated her and she had told him in so many words. That was another thing that he missed about her. Her honesty. She was the only one who had cared about him for so long. She had soothed his wounds when he was hurt and had washed away his nightmares of his past with her words. And she had also scolded him with her scalding tongue. She was one woman he didn't like pissing off. And he missed that. He missed her like crazy. And all because of his libido.
"Duo love," Brittany called as she came out of the kitchen, her blonde hair swinging as she walked. She saw him sitting on the couch with his eyes closed.
Duo peeked one eye open. He regarded the reason Hilde left. His wife. "Hello Brittany," he said as she sat down next to him. She was a beautiful woman. Blonde hair and deep amber eyes and a lush figure that would make any man's palm itch. His included and he had fallen prey to her. He loved her and yet there was a place inside of him she couldn't seem to reach.
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done
"Do you want your dinner?" she asked as she looked into those intense cobalt eyes of his. She couldn't understand why he was so quiet the last three weeks since their marriage. But she knew it had something to do with that raven-haired bitch he had lived with. Hilde. The woman she had disliked immensely because of the closeness that she had shared with Duo. And she didn't like to share. And she thought once that Hilde was out of the way, Duo become completely hers. But it hadn't worked out quite as she planned. She leaned forwards and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Duo, do you want dinner or do you want to skip right to dessert?"
His eyes fell away from hers and glanced down at the generous cleavage swelling above the neckline of her sweater. The sex was good, but there was something missing. Her hair wasn't silky midnight black and her eyes weren't deep cornflower blue and her body wasn't reed thin with gentle sloping curves. She wasn't her. She wasn't Hilde. And he didn't have the heart to tell her or rather that he didn't have a heart because he had lost it. Hilde had taken it with her and he couldn't get it back even if he wanted to. But he hid it from Brittany. Didn't want her to know or to find out that she wasn't the one he dreamed about constantly.
Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind
When he didn't answer, Brittany stood. "I have something for you," she said as she walked back into the kitchen. She brought out the newspaper and handed it to him. "Read the wedding announcements," she said as she sat down again.
Duo looked at the announcements that graced the page. His eyes fell on a photo. His heart dropped and his stomach tightened as he read the paragraph next to it.
Prominent American doctor, Robert J. Anderson the Third, 25, of Boston, Massachusetts, married Hilde Ann Schiebecker, 20, of Brussels at his family's summer home in Hyannis Port on May 4, A.C 200. The bride wore a vintage Vera Wang gown of white silk and carried a bouquet of Peace roses. The happy couple resides in New York City.
His eyes widened a little. He knew that she had been dating Robert around the same time he had started dating Brittany. He wanted Hilde to be happy and apparently if the photo was any indication, she was. He just didn't expect her to marry him. Robert was a nice guy but he didn't think he was man enough for Hilde. Or man enough to make a woman of Hilde. "Hold that thought right there. "You know Hilde is a woman in the truest sense of the word. Or don't you remember?" He did and he didn't want to. Didn't want to remember that night. "I'm happy for her," he replied and the need to drown in the pain became starkly clear. He pulled Brittany down to his lap and sealed his mouth against hers. Trying to forget.
I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a young old man
With only a dream
He stared up at the ceiling in the bedroom. He glanced over at Brittany, lying with her back to him. He still didn't feel any better. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and went over to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of boxers and lifted the bottom of the drawer up a little and drew out a slender navy blue satin ribbon. He closed the drawer and threaded it through his fingers. He glanced up at his reflection in the mirror. He lowered his eyes and looked back down at the ribbon in his fingers. He left the room and went into the room down the hall that had belonged to Hilde. He sat down on the edge of the bed and undid his braid. He redid it and at the end, tied the navy ribbon. He tossed the braid back over his shoulder, letting it trail down his back. The moon spilled through the window and over the white-sheeted bed. The light was nearly blinding to him but he let it wash over him. The pain that ached inside him would never go away. Hilde was married and all she could be now was an elusive dream that he had let slip through his fingers. All he had was a memory. He let himself remember that one night five weeks ago.
"I bet I can drink you under the table," he said with a mocking grin.
"You think you can braid boy," Hide had snorted disdainfully.
"I know I can babe," he stated smugly.
"All right. I'll show you," she had said with a gleam in her eyes. "Bring it on!"
"All right baby, you asked for it," he had said as he took out a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.
They started matching each other drink for drink, looking into the other's eyes, and daring the other to give up. When neither of them did, they moved onto the bottle rum and proceeded to match shot for shot until Hilde almost passed out. Both of them were definitely drunk now, her a little more then him. He half carried her and she had half carried him up the steps.
"Walls spinnin'" Hilde had slurred as she leaned into him.
"Cuz we was drinkin'" he had mumbled back.
She giggled as they leaned against his door. His hand had found the knob and with a thud, they had both fallen onto the floor with him on top of her. She giggled again and looped her arms around his neck.
"You're heavthe," she had said, punctuating her statement with another giggle.
And he then he was kissing her and she was kissing back. His hands sliding under her shirt over her smooth skin and her pulling off his. Soon they were lying in his bed and he had his hands all over her. And with breathless gasps and moans, she urged him on. Neither of them not quite knowing what they were doing. And in an instant, she was his. They had fallen asleep with his arm resting around her waist.
He smiled ruefully. He had made a woman of her that night. He vaguely remembered breaking through her virginity and her small gasp of pain. He was alone when he had woken up the next morning with a hellacious hangover. And he had stumbled into her room to check on her. He thought the night before was just a dream and she hadn't corrected him otherwise. He didn't really know that it was reality when he looked down at the sheets in his bed and saw blood. Her blood. It was very little, but enough to make him realize what he had done. But she didn't bring it up and neither did she. And when Brittany thought she was pregnant, he had married her. He didn't want any child of his to grow up without a father, but as it turned out, she wasn't and Hilde was already gone and now she was married. The ache in his heart intensified, making it hard for him to breathe. He needed her. He needed Hilde.
Am I just foolin' myself
That she'll stop the pain
Duo lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if she was ok and if she was really happy. Brittany and Hilde had not gotten along. Hilde had called Brittany a "one credit whore," and Brittany had called Hilde an "icy bitch." He had let his hormones do the thinking instead of his brain. And for all of his own stupidity was married to a woman, he really didn't love. He cared about her, yes, but he didn't love her. And now he was without the one that he did.
Livin' without her
I go insane
He covered his eyes with his hands, trying to block out the moonlight. It was so bright, almost like Hilde's smile. He would have to make the best of it though. He was going to make the most of this marriage, even if it tore him up inside. It was a punishment he deserved for letting the one woman he had really wanted slip though his fingers like a mist. She was gone now. Never to return and all he had was memories. The feel of her skin was engraved on his fingertips and the way that she had tasted was burned into his mind. And he knew that every time he made love to his wife, he would be wishing it were someone else. Someone with midnight hair, cornflower blue eyes, and a figure that wasn't overblown with curves, but soft ones that were just beautiful. "Hilde, please forgive me," he whispered into the lonely night.
Feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind
Duo fell asleep there, wishing she were there with her arms wrapped around him. But his sleep was anything but peaceful when all he could dream about was her. The woman that held his heart.
Author's Note: I'm surprised I haven't made myself cry yet! This is getting depressing isn't it? There will be more coming soon, so stay tuned!
