Just another idea I've had for a while… I thought it was pretty funny this would prolly take place shortly after the sealed sword frenzy OVA. Hope you like it!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SHIT!!!
CHAPTER 2: Oh god… its THAT Time of the… Decade?
One Morning, Ichigo Kurosaki awoke and immediately realized something was wrong.
Very wrong.
It was almost like someone was watchin-
" GAAAH! " He yelled, standing up on his bed and flattening himself against the wall.
Rukia was standing right next to his bed glaring at him.
She was boring holes in his face with her eyes.
"It's about damn time you woke up, Ichigo!" Rukia barked at him.
"uh-" Ichigo began but was cut off.
"Yuzu's NOT here today, so YOU need to go and make us breakfast! NOW!" Rukia ordered.
Now, normally, Ichigo would just smirk and tell the midget to stop bossing him around cause he was taller than her. But the only part of his brain that wasn't paralyzed with fear at immense amount of, evil, coming from Rukia's gaze, was telling him to shut the fuck up and act like a pussy or he was going to DIE!
"O-okay-" But he was cut off again
"SHIT! Fine I'll do it then… DUMBASS!" Rukia yelled.
She kicked him in the shin, causing him to fall of the bed and land flat on his face.
Rukia stormed out of the room leaving devastation in her wake.
Ichigo lay on the floor stunned. "What the… hell?" he asked.
"That was nothing…" said a voice.
Ichigo looked toward s the corner to see a ripped and torn Kon sitting in the fetal position.
"You didn't see what I went through!" Yelled Kon.
Kon grabbed his head and yelled like a maniac.
"MAKE IT STOP!!!! AAAARGHHH!!!!" He yelled and jumped THROUGH the bedroom window.
"… gulp" Ichigo paled in fear as he wondered what was wrong with Rukia…
Just then Renji decided to poke his pineapple head through the, now broken, window.
"What's up, Strawberry? " he asked curiously inspecting the broken window.
Ichigo looked down. "I don't know… there's something up with Rukia…"
He said slowly.
Renji's face drained of color.
"What do you mean?" he asked as his voice cracked.
"Was there this look in her eye's that told you to act like a bitch or you would die?" Renji asked.
"Yeah!" said Ichigo "So you know whats wrong with her?"
"Oh shit I gotta- uh… go!" said Renji, attempting to escape.
"WAIT!" yelled Ichigo, as he grabbed Renji and yanked him through the window, and dragged him into the hallway.
"If there's something wrong with Rukia we need to help her!" exclaimed Ichigo, shaking Renji.
Renji sighed. "Ok. So heres the deal, you know how women have that, you know, ' that time of the month' thing?" he asked
Ichigo nodded blushing slightly. "Yeah but I've known Rukia for a while now, and I've never seen her act like this…" he said
"Well," said Renji, "Because we age slower our body functions are also slower… so Rukia has her, er- period, about once a decade…" Renji explained.
"…"
"Oh…" said Ichigo
Then they heard Rukia coming up the stairs.
'Oh shit!' They thought and curled up against the wall in fear as Rukia walked right past them into the bathroom.
They didn't dare move, even as they heard the shower turn on.
They stayed where they were, until they heard the shower turn off.
"Ichigo?" rukia called out softly…
Ichigo made to get up but was stopped by Renji. "Don't do it! She may sound sweet now, but she can just as easily rip off your head at any second!" whispered Renji.
"But she sounds like she needs my help…" said Ichigo as he approached the bathroom.
"Whatever," said Renji, "It's your funeral…"
Renji ran into Ichigo's room and jumped out the window.
Ichigo stopped outside the bathroom door. "What do you need Rukia?" he asked carefully.
"Ichigo, it won't stop. It won't stop coming out…" she said faintly.
Ichigo blushed and went rigid. "O-okay I'll go to the store and get something to stop it!" he said quickly and ran as fast as he could to the store.
**************
Ichigo stood in the convenience next to Hanataro who somehow worked there.
Why are there so many kinds he said looking at the shelf of women's health care products.
"… I don't know," said Hanataro, "this isn't really my area of expertise…" he finished nervously.
Ichigo Sighed and grabbed a random box of tampons and approached the counter, embarrassedly.
**************
Ichigo walked up to the bathroom and knocked.
Rukia opened the door and poked her head out.
He handed her the tampons.
"Here." He said
She retreated into the bathroom
"…"
"…."
"You okay in there?" he asked
"ummm… how… exactly do you use these?" she asked
"Well, uh…" began Ichigo
'damn I should have got the pads instead…' thought Ichigo
Mean while, Ishin Kurosaki was outside the house planning his next attack on Ichigo, when he heard;
"You want me to put THIS in my WHAT?!"
And then many other loud noises, including screaming and grunting and many booms and bangs.
"Teeheehee!" giggled Ishin," you're finally becoming a man, my son! MASAKI! GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!!
He yelled, startling the neighbors.
THE END
O M G!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I'LL GIVE YOU A KITTEN!!!!!!
