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The next day, Emma did not make her usual trip to see Henry. Charming (slash James, slash David, slash Dad?) took Henry out horseback riding for the day. So, Emma headed out with Red to the street market. The cobblestone street was filled with vendors selling all kinds of foods, fabric, art and odd supplies for potions and such (Emma didn't go near the dodgy end.) Emma ran her hands along the various fabrics hanging from the awning of one small shop.

"Oh, that's gorgeous, Emma!" Red said, reaching up to unclasp the length of deep blue cotton.

"Yeah, but what am I going to do with it?"

Red scoffed, "Make clothing." Red didn't need to say "duh" because Emma heard it loud and clear. "Don't you think it's time to invest in a new wardrobe? I mean, you are a princess."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you're parents are-"

"-no. I'm supposed to MAKE clothing?"

"Yes. Where do you think clothes come from?"

"A fucking store!" Red laughed and began making her way towards Granny's new restaurant.

"You have the means to hire a seamstress to do it, but most people make their own. It's more practical."

Emma nodded slowly, but the words were in one ear and out the other. Life here was much more difficult than it needed to be. She idly wondered why Snow hadn't said anything to her about clothing before. Just as the duo reached Granny's, Grumpy greeted them, shaking their hands.

"So, how's Regina?" Grumpy chuckled as if he knew exactly how she was doing.

"I guess she's alright," Emma answered. "She hates being under house arrest, I'm sure."

"So, are you going to do it?" Grumpy grinned, awaiting the answer eagerly.

"Do what?"

Red's eyes grew large as saucers. "Bye, Grumpy!" Red called as she ushered Emma into the restaurant.

"What was he talking about?"

Red shoved Emma down into one of the wooden chairs.

"Hell if I know. Those dwarves have a serious lack of vitamin D."

Snow joined with them shortly and the three of them had lunch.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Snow asked, sounding concerned and motherly.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Just having trouble adjusting, I guess."

"I don't know what you mean," Red said through a mouthful of shepherd's pie. "This world is just like yours."

"Where, then? Where are all these similarities?"

"Well, you were bored today, so you met with a friend. Then we went shopping and now we're having lunch. Very normal. Shut up and eat."

"Hateful much?" Emma snapped.

Red looked around as if paranoid and shoveled the rest of her food into her mouth before throwing down a few coins and rushing out.

Snow giggled nervously.

"Full moon?" Emma asked. Snow's eyebrows furrowed.

After eating, Emma stormed down the street back towards Oliver, her mother following behind. Even through her rage, she saw the people looking at her and whispering, snickering, and even saw a few looks of concern. 'Fuck this. Fuck this world. Fuck all these goddamned fairy tale assholes!' She thought, her mind racing. Emma pushed herself up onto Oliver and waited for Snow to catch up.

"What took you so long?" Emma complained.

"I was enjoying nature, appreciating being here." She smiled sweetly.

"Oh, yeah." Emma turned Oliver towards the trail, putting her back towards Snow and muttered, "Right, you're the one who sings with birds and pets deer and shit." Emma said it bitterly, to herself. It was a mistake to have her back to Snow, who then grabbed a handful of Emma's tank-top and pulled her off the horse, landing Emma roughly in the dirt. Snow grabbed her chin, forcing her daughter to look her in the eye.

"Emma, I love you. But you need a serious attitude check. I understand you're not happy right now, but don't try to make everyone else miserable."

Before she could regather herself, Snow was gone. Emma had no clue how to get home and, of course, there were no fucking cellular phones or GPS in this ass-backwards world. Emma rode away, hoping she'd remember her way as she came upon it.

Several hours later, it was dark and she was terrified, hearing animal sounds she didn't recognize. Screeches coming from the distance that might or might not be human in origin. The temperature had dropped tremendously and her skin was raised in goosebumps. Finally, she saw flickering lights in the distance, through the trees. She turned Oliver towards them, no longer caring whether she came upon friend or foe. As she approached the clearing, she sighed with relief. It was Regina's castle. From there, she did as she normally would, tying up Oliver and walked to the doors. The doors did not open. She looked for the doorbell Snow had once used but didn't find it. So, she began yelling.

"Regina! Regina! Oh, might Evil Queen! Come Hither, O' Royalty!"

Eventually, the doors opened with their usual loud groan. And, per usual, there Regina stood looking not at all amused. And brilliant. Yes, looking brilliant as per usual. She wore a black silk night gown and red high heels. Seriously? Red high heels with night clothes? As she approached Regina, she saw that the night air had surprised her body, her nipples were hardened, puckering the thin silk across her chest. Emma groaned, hating herself for noticing.

"Are you drunk, Ms. Swan?"

"That's 'Princess Swan' to you. Not to be confused with swan princess." Emma smiled devilishly. Regina rolled her eyes.

"If there were trailers in The Enchanted Forest, you'd be their trash."

"Did you just-?" Regina walked away. "Did you just call me trailer trash?!" Regina snapped her head back towards her.

"Who is the one yelling outside my home in the middle of the night?"

Emma conceded and followed Regina inside.

"Henry's asleep. Do attempt to remember your manners."

"You haven't even asked me why I'm here. I might be here on an urgent matter, or I might very well be here to wake Henry!"

"You're here because you got yourself lost, Fool. I'm having wine in my study. You may join if you agree to not behave like a troll."

"Hey! Trolls are nice!" Emma responded, indignantly.

They reached a door on the first floor and Regina led her inside.

"You are a miscreant."

"Been called worse."

The two settled on opposite sides of the red velvet sofa. The room's only light was the fireplace. It was set up much like Regina's office in Maine. Regina poured Emma a large glass of red wine and handed it to her silently.

The first hour was filled with only the sound of an owl hooting outside and the burning wood cracking and popping from the stone fireplace.

After an hour had passed, Emma felt quite nice. Between the fire, the alcohol and the tingling static reverberating between herself and Regina, she felt extremely comfortable... if not a little turned on.

"So!" Both women said at once.

"Yes, Regina?"

"I was going to offer you a guest room, is all."

"I don't like guest rooms. They're not homey."

"Right. And what were you saying? Or, slurring, rather?"

"M'not slurring. Was gonna ask how to... this is embarrassing."

"Out with it. Goodness." Regina set her glass on the coffee table before them and turned towards Emma.

"How to look more normal? People stare at me on the street."

"That's because, in this world, ladies do not work on the streets, Ms. Swan."

"Did you just call me a whore?"

Regina bit her lower lip and stifled a giggle. Oh, good grief. Too many good, but frustrating, feelings emanated towards her crotch. She wanted to tangle her fingers in that cascade of black hair and make those lips pliant, make them beg.

"Well, you need clothes, first of all. Then we can work on the hair."

"But how do I get clothes? And what's wrong with my hair?!"

"Hire a seamstress, or make your own. But I'm sure you're not skilled in anything."

"Oh, I'll show you my skills."

Emma felt her cheeks flush instantly. OhShitOhShitOhShit. Regina laughed at her embarrassment.

Regina stood and walked around the back of the sofa. She grabbed Emma's head, pulling it back then scraping her long nails across her scalp. A groan escaped Emma's lips.

"Your hair is... feral. Purely savage." Emma gulped. "Your mother looked like this when she was hiding in the forest. She was camping and you live in a castle." She gathered Emma's hair. untangling it with her long fingers. "So, don't you think you can manage to do any better than this?" Regina's gave a soft yank. Emma twisted her neck, begging for more touch. "I'm sure your handmaid could help you with it." Regina released the nest of wild golden hair and refilled her wine glass, reclaiming her seat on the sofa.

"We don't have maids," Emma said once she'd regained her thoughts. "James and Snow think it's wrong."

"How is it wrong?" Regina asked, incredulous. "It's creating jobs." Did Regina always make this much sense, or was Emma much more inebriated than originally believed?

"As for clothes," Regina continued. "Hire a seamstress. She'll size you and custom make them. Very worth it."

"Where do you get yours?" Emma asked. "They're... They're uh... very flattering."

"Good night, Ms. Swan."

Regina left in a flurry of wispy, black hair and delicate black silk.

Emma slept on the sofa. In her dreams, she was a puppet on a crude stage, shouting at the people of The Enchanted Forest, "What do you expect of me?!"

A few more chapters are on their way.