AN: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my beta's for all their hard work and help to take this story from 'meh' to 'WOW'. Their help has been brilliant, whether it be with my grammar, criticism or expanding descriptions and dialogue improvements. Those brilliant beta's are:
A Little Birdie Tells Me
fri13girl
The Quote Queen
RKD-CULLEN
LadyGrimR
All these beta's bring their own flavor to help enhance my story to what you are reading here.
Now that I have given credit where credit is due, on with the chapter.
As I made my way back up to the castle, I couldn't help but reflect back on the series of unfortunate events that led me to where I am now. The first was not my 18th birthday party. It wasn't even the day of that baseball game.
'No, the first event was long before,' Now I could recall it more vividly than ever, owing to the prowess that my species possess it general, 'When I was only at the tender age of five.'
I returned home after playing with my childhood friend, Jacob. We had been making mud pies in his back yard in La Push, when an older boy named Sam strolled up to us.
He had looked down his nose at me, "Hey, look what we have here. It's the pale-faced slut's daughter. Be careful, Jacob, or her mother will fuck your dad too. Wouldn't be surprised if she grows up to be just like her mum; a slut who opens her legs for just anyone." He said with a sneer.
I had a good idea as to what he was implying. I may have been only five, but I was pretty smart for my age. I couldn't believe the words he was saying. While Jacob just looked on in confusion, I had understood. I had accidentally watched a bit of Jerry Springer, and heard the words before. Renée had explained to me exactly what they meant, so I knew why they were bad words, and shouldn't repeat them.
As expected, I became distraught over what Sam had said. Sarah, Jake's mum had Renée pick me up. I cried all the way home. After going inside, she got me to tell her what happened. I was reluctant at first but eventually she told me, in an act of persuasion, "Look honey, I know I said not to use bad words but just for this once, you can say them and not get in trouble. I need to know what this boy said to you."
So I told her everything, and she was livid; not at me but at what was said. Renée ordered me upstairs to my room at once, and told me to start packing a bag. Bewildered at her fierce tone, I had complied.
Later that evening my father arrived home from work. He had no idea about what had occurred earlier that day. Renée rounded on him as soon as he hung up his gun belt and began yelling at him about leaving, not being able to stand living in a small town any longer, not being able to stand the gossip, rumors or lack of privacy, and how she felt suffocated.
The last words she spoke to him were, "This town is draining the life out of me, and I want to get out while I can. I'm taking Bella with me, and you can't stop me. I won't let Forks damage her as well."
Charlie was in such a state of shock that he could barely hug me, before I was dragged out of the door, and towards the car packed with most of our clothes and not much else. I was put in my seat and buckled in, and soon Renée was driving us out of Forks and into what she believed was a better life.
'Better for her maybe,' I snorted to myself, 'But certainly not for me.'
The next eleven years of my life were spent moving from place to place. I have lived in over two dozen houses, attended just as many schools, and seen over a dozen different states. Two weeks a year I spent in Forks with my dad. I don't think even the army brats move so much.
At the age of seven, it became my job to look after the household, inclusive of preparing the budget, shopping for groceries, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, packing lunch for Renée and myself, and making sure she made it to work on time.
By the age of eight, I was an expert on hangover remedies. By twelve, I had a black belt in 5 different martial arts. And at thirteen, won my first underground street fight. The street fighting brought in a lot of money, and with it I was easily able to pay all the bills. I couldn't rely on Renee's income any longer; she spent it mostly on going out, partying and bringing men home.
One of these men was the reason why I began to learn to fight by own battles. I needed to know how to defend myself. He was also the reason for our first state move. Renée and Arron had been dating for a few weeks, before she felt it was fine to leave her seven year old daughter in his care when she had to work late.
It started with small touches here and there, and him insisting that he be present while I had my bath. That really disturbed me. Next he started wanting to help me wash as well. It was a few weeks later that he went too far, and innocent touches crossed the line to criminal. Mum came home to find me screaming, and was terrified to see what he had done. She screamed at him to leave or threatened to call to cops. But he had just laughed at her face.
I was tied down and forced to watch him violate Renée in front of me. He beat her, and he did unspeakable things to her. And constantly looking at my lower unclothed body, I was able to pick up the phone and dial 911. I couldn't speak to them without Arron overhearing it, so I just left the phone off the hook, so the dispatcher could hear what was going on.
Minutes later the police arrived and held nothing back as they arrested him and took him into custody in shackles. By the next night we were in a new state, and enrolled in a self-defense course. Naturally, Renée gave up after a few lessons, but I kept going. I had decided I didn't want to be a victim ever again. After I finished that course, I enrolled in more martial arts.
While I was training every evening, Renée was trying to pick up a new man every other evening. It seemed she couldn't stand being single for long and felt the need of a strong man to look after her. The several relationships, I take the liberty to use that term loosely, each lasted less than a few months. Renée would break up with the current one in the afternoon, and be on the prowl at a bar that very night looking for another to patch up with. This pattern continued until she brought the wrong one home, every time.
By the age eight, I was the one defending her and throwing them out, and we would be in a new place by the end of the week. It became like a ritual of sorts. She never did question how I managed to do all that. But it's just like Renée to not sweat the details.
At fourteen, I was a pro at already having everything set up in a new location by the time we had to move again. After all these time, I could by then, sense when she brought home the wrong one. It was a feeling I would get; like I could tell their soul was dark, darker than black. I would start the process of moving as soon as I saw them, including new school for me, new work for mum and a new place to live.
I was lucky I was smart enough to home school myself most of the time. The internet is a wonderful piece of technology. I mainly went to school just to take the exams, and so that Mum didn't get into any trouble with the law about me not attending school, which is a mandatory process. I got the reputation for being clumsy to cover up for my injuries from all the street fighting. I would act it up and encourage anyone around me to believe it.
It was not long after I turned sixteen, that Renée met Phil. Now, Phil, I could see was a pure soul. Although he was a lot younger than Renée, he had the zest for life, which she needed. By the time I was seventeen, he had moved in and they were married. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend fights on the nights he was home. I was still able to train, saying that I was at the library. The fights on the other hand, started too late and he would know something was going on, if I came home that late, and injured. But his job kept him away a lot, so I was still able to make ends meet.
I saw the longing on Mum's face every time he had to leave, and knew that she wanted to go with him, which was fine by me, but Phil didn't feel right about me being left alone for so long. I decided to pack up once again, and move back to Forks with Charlie. It was in Forks, that I was made a victim for the first time since I was seven.
It was in biology that first day at Forks High that the manipulations and dazzling began. I was thought to be shy because I kept to myself, but I had learned at a young age, that I could only trust myself to look after myself. The dazzling, however, kept me meek, and because I was trying to fight off the effects, it truly made me clumsy. It wasn't just Edward that was dazzling me, but Alice as well.
The Bella that the Cullens knew in Forks, was not the real me, but quickly became a creation of Alice and Edward. The rest of the family was unaware, but I think subconsciously Rosalie knew and that's why she was always so cold towards me; trying to keep me away from them in the only way that she could without making eyes turn her way. You could say that it worked to an extent; but alas, this only made them dazzle me more and more.
When Edward left me in the woods, it gave me exactly what I needed to break free from the chains that he and his sister bound me with. What was merely an act of him disposing of an unwanted toy, became one of their biggest mistakes of their lives. Edward really should have killed me then, but that is a lesson that I will make sure he learns the hard way; him and his pathetic little sister.
'To the rest of the Cullens, I was family... But to the twisted twins I was only a pet, a toy,' I seethed to myself, 'and I wasn't even the only one.' My eyes flashed dangerously at the thought.
Jasper was their pet as well. They had been manipulating him and playing on his insecurities for a much longer time than they did with me; because of his past. They were able to mold him into their pet guard dog; forcing him to slip from the 'vegetarian' diet, unbeknownst, to anyone else, to keep him in line. It is unfortunate that he could sense other's bloodlust. Jasper lost faith in his instincts, and went from being a confident leader to a submissive servant to the evil pixie's whims.
But very soon he will see what was really going on. Soon he will be able to regain who he once was.
'Only six more months,' I found myself restless for the day to come; so very near, yet so far.
It will all start with me giving him Maria's head on a silver platter; literally.
