Bad Neighbors
-o-
An extremley loud noise sent the spikey haired man bounding out of bed and to the window.
He nearly snarled at the glass, seeing that it was Hidan again.
"Damn it..." he said, rubbing his eyes. The man was over in the destroyed backyard doing God knows what up on the power lines. He was shouting something, as usual. Shikamaru hardley paid attention to anything that came out that sorry excuse for a person's mouth.
"Just ignore them honey." He heard Neji mutter bitterly.
"Don't get cross. It's too early." Troublesome indeed, he thought. Those two were starting to affect his relationship, and that... that was a major drag. Not cool at all. Shikamaru threw the window open and leaned out. He liked to be woken up by the crisp morning air and fresh new clouds, but unfortunatley today the air was filled with the stench of waht he could only assume was burning flesh. He scowled up at the man dangling from the power lines, laughing manaically. Even from the distance Shikamru could see the large vein on his forearm as if it were about to burst with the electricity flowing through it. "Little early to be doing the angeldust... don't you think?" He muttered to the man. Shikamaru was no fool, not that even a fool couldn't figure it out. It was obvious that their neighbor did more drugs than he even knew existed. And the man was immortal, why the hell wouldn't he? It was human nature at it's best, stupid, obnoxious, and self-destructive. He didn't even want to recall the first time Kakuzu had murdered him right there in the backyard for all to see. That had turned into one huge massive mess of a headache. Long story short, the local police force won't let him live it down.
Damn, it was such a hassle though... Shikamaru watched in boredom as finally the jashinist let go of the wire and fell limply to the concrete below. Surely his skull was caved in from the impact, he'd landed directly on it after all. He remained in a heap on the ground, and Shika could only roll his eyes and look away toward their front yard. Kakuzu's truck was gone, he must've left for work early this morning, which explained Hidan's early drug-use. He would be back up on his feet, completly healed in no time though, it should be a crime for such a terrible person to have the kind of powers he did.
He sighed and looked up to the spot along the wires where he'd been hanging from, the wires were all frayed. Good Lord it looked as if he'd actually chewed the damn thing. Great, he'd have to call the electric company and get ahold of the city, seeing as that was among the lines that carried the power to their house, and also becaue if Kakuzu got home and had to do it then it would just erupt into another giant ordeal that was just more trouble than it was worth.. His eyes flicked up to the sky again, at least the clouds were nice today...
"Fucking Psyco.." Neji murmured in his ear. He nearly jumped, he hadn't even heard his lover get up. He was peering out the window at the lifeless pile of bones and skin on the ground over Shikamaru's shoulder.
"Swearing doesn't suit you." He replied to him, straightening up and stretching.
Neji stood with him and pecked him on the cheek before turning and dashing into the bathroom. "I can't help it.. The man is infuriating."
"He looked more like a monkey just now actually.."
"He probably is more ape than human.." Neji called back.
Shikamaru just pinched the bridge of his nose, he was so tired. It would surely affect his work performance, as it had since those maniacs had moved in. Rare were the days when he could actually go to sleep at a decent time and sleep soundly through the night without being woken up by explosions or screaming or some other manner of stupidity. And even worse yet, his boss was clearly starting to notice. Asuma was more than understanding, but there couldn't be too many slipups working in the field that he did.
"So, have you found anything out on the bomb-threat?" Neji said loudly over the sound of the shower, as if reading his mind.
Shikamaru shook his head, he had a damn good idea who it was. One of Hidan's friends, just as psycho as him. It seemed as if every lunatic in the world had followed those two to their quiet little town. He'd only ever seen her from a distance, but something struck him as just plain off about her. Her demeanor and most especially her voice gave him the impression that she might just possibley be a drag queen...
Either way, she was always lighting firecrackers and making these wierd little clay sculptures and blowing them up in the back yard. He really couldn't determine if it was odd or not, really. Hidan didn't act like a man who preffered other men, he appeared as heterosexual as anyone. (Even though he knew throughly that he was not. He'd been kept up many a night to the nightmareish sounds he could only deduce to be sex coming from their house.) And here was this girl who by all means looked like a girl but came off as a boy...
And he'd even thought throughly that maybe it was a boy. But he had friends that were just about as gay as it gets, and even they didn't have hair that long and shiny and just so damn blonde.
"Shika, I asked if you found anything out." Neji called again, and snapped him out of his thoughts. He inhaled deeply as he saw Hidan's body finally start to twitch back to life.
"No," he exhaled, "I don't think it will amount to anything anyway. It was just gossip..." He trailed off, rubbing his tired eyes. "I think they're giving me crap cases on purpose.."
"Well it's not your fault you're too exhausted to think straight lately.." Neji said, the shower nob squeaking as he turned the water off.
He grunted a response, damn they were so troublesome.
He turned, suddenly realizing he didn't even know what time it was, and found it to be 5:30 in the morning. He groaned and slapped his hand to his face. He's gotten less than two hours of sleep, and didn't have to be at work for three hours. There was no way he was getting back to sleep, not now that Neji was already up and preparing for the day.
He heard a high pitched howl from the window and scowled. He didn't bother turning to go look, it was probably the drugged up idiot doing something else stupid and destructive.
"I will FUCK YOU UP bitch!"
He straightened, determined not to obsess over what the zealot was doing, but he couldn't resist his own curiosity. If the man was going to get in a fight he wanted to see if he'd actually put forth effort. Then he'd finally know what he was capable of. However, his glance out the window only resulted in his spirits lowering even more.
He was yelling at a bird. A fucking bird. Shikamru rolled his eyes for the millionth time, but continued watching despite himself. It was a black bird, a raven maybe.
"You think you can just sit there and fucking mock me like that. I'LL KILL YOUR FAMILY! Oh, no wait, YOU ALREADY DID!"
He raised a brow and watched the bird, he would almost swear it was carrying on an actual conversation with the guy. But all he saw was squawking and wings flapping.
"What the hell is he doing now?" Neji said, suddenly beside him again.
"Threatening to kill a birds family.." He replied, trying to hide the surprise from Neji sneaking up yet again. "But apparently the bird already killed it's own family. Sounds like something for The Maury Show."
He heard Neji laugh, "Are you serious? He's almost entertaining sometimes... as much as I hate to say." Shikamaru nodded in agreement, and Neji continued. "I much prefer him acting like that than anything else though. Always destroying stuff...Oh God he's looking over here get away from the window!" Neji pulled Shikamaru away, to his discontent. But it was for the best, he assumed, he needed to use the time he had getting ready for the day and preparing his mind. God forbid the cops ever figure anything out on their own. Just about any call they got was forwarded to the firm where he worked. It was just another example of human nature. Too lazy to do the work but they would sure as hell accept the credit.
"Dammit. Alright I'm fucking coming. Tell them to keep their fuckin' panties on."
"I think the bird was some kind of jutsu..." Neji said, Shikamaru already had the water running again. He really wanted to get his mind off this stuff, Neji could tell. He received no reply and let the matter drop, he knew that the Nara boy was always under a lot of mental stress, most of it was his own doing. He was outwardly lazy but his mind was always racing, always analyzing and watching and deducing theories and replacing them when he gained furthur knowledge all in mere seconds.
Hidan was making his way back inside now, the movement brought Neji out of his thoughts. He was starting to feel like such a damn creeper, watching them all the time. Well, not really them because Kakuzu at least seemed to try to keep to himself. And it was better, Neji didn't think he could handle the pair together...One was terrifying and the other was ... also scarey but in a different way. He was more scared of Hidan in the way that the man was basically unharmable. He could literally be ripped to peices and still recover while laughing the whole time. It just wasn't natural, and there were a lot of unnatural things about the world that Neji could still accept with ease.
Hidan stopped in his tracks and turned his head, looking directly at Neji. He felt himself tense up at the stare, and Hidan grinned and stuck out his tounge, making made sexual gestures. He quickly slammed the window shut and drew the shade, taking a deep breath.
"Fucking psycho..." He muttered...
-o-
It had been an unbearabley slow day, Shikamaru felt as if he was falling asleep every time he stood still for more than a moment. His eyes were red and teary from yawning constantly, and he had a screaming headache. He silently prayed that Neji would be out of the house, he just wanted to be alone for awhile, and break out his pipe. He deserved it, in his opinion. He'd been putting up with quite a bit for awhile, the stupid neighbors were one thing, but Neji's constant complaints and comments were just about driving him crazy. He thought, if he had to hear that man bitch about it one more time he'd probably scream. But... he thought that just about every day, and it hadn't happened yet.
He shook his head to clear the thoughts away. He didn't like being tired, it fogged his mind, and that made him anxious. He didn't like being confused, that left room for error, and error should always be avoided whenever possible, in any situation. One would never think he had such a perfectionist way of thinking unless they could actually see into his head. Neji probably knew, he was a genious after all, not even self-proclaimed either. But other than that, most people thought he was an easy going, lazy, stoner. That last part may or may not be true, it wasn't in his opinion, because he controlled his habit, he didn't have to be high at every possible second that it was available. But he did enjoy the green. Quite well. It allowed him to relax mentally, something he didn't feel like he needed to explain to anyone, and so didn't.
He was ripped suddenly from thought as someone suddenly collided with the concrete in front of his car. His foot slammed onto the breaks so hard that he winced and may have cried out if he hadn't been distracted by his head smashing violently into the steering wheel. The tires screeched in protest but the car stopped, and Shikamaru sat there breathing heavily, staring ahead at the edge of the hood, saying silent prayers that whoever it was would stand up.
It took exactly 5 heartbeats before a pale hand finally reached up and slapped onto the hood, and Shikamaru was immediatly seething as he saw the forest green nail polish and the ring. He gripped the steering wheel so hard he thought he might break his own fingers as he watched the Jashinist pull himself up. The man's hair was throughly messed and his jaw was hanging at a grotesque angle. He reached up and snapped it back into the correct spot with a sickening pop, and smirked at Shikamaru.
"S'up?"
His eyes narrowed. The guy had almost just gotten run over, and Shikamaru probably had a concussion, and that was all he said? He sat there for a moment, dumb-founded, thinking briskly of the repercussions of just running him over right now. There probably wouldn't be any, except making an enemy out of Hidan, and that was just a possibility. After all, he lived with a man who frequently killed him...
He took a deep breath and reluctantly opened his door and got out before slamming the shifter into park. He calmly shut the door behind him and then leaned on the hood, eyeing Hidan with both brows raised, silently asking him what the hell he was doing. Hidan seemed to be enjoying it, and only stared back with that stupid grin on his face. The Nara was very close to losing his patience.
Hidan started smoothing his hair, "Fucking Uchiha, they can't ever take a joke. Seriously." He said it in a way thatimplied Shikamaru had an idea as to who he was talking about. It took his sleep-depreived brain a few seconds to realize that he did know the Uchiha's. Well, one of them at least. Sasuke was the same age as him and had been in his class before dropping out. There were all kinds of rumors as to where he ended up, but he honestly didn't really find any of them to be logical. He may not have known Sasuke well, but he was damn sure he didn't join the circus or start his own brothel...
Yes, rumors were just about the most senseless thing on the planet.
"Who?" He asked, knowing full well that Sasuke couldn't possibley be making trips back to town, and most certianly wouldn't be associating with someone like Hidan.
"Me." Came a voice from behind him. Shikamaru whirled around, pulling out his knife on instinct. It was caught by an almost feminine looking hand and quickly removed from his possesion with ease, And Shikamaru found himself inches away from a man who was clearly not Sasuke, but also clearly possesed the Sharingan.
There was a staring match for what Shikamaru counted out to be ten seconds. He quickly figured out who it was and because of that decided not to speak until spoken to. The man finally looked away from his and up to Hidan, his eyes fading to sheer black.
"Next time you think about pissing me off, Hidan, I will make sure the car doesn't stop."
"Tch, you fuckers never seem to listen. I told you, it won't do shit but get me hard."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, as he did so the man that had just been standing inches from exploded into a bunch of crows. He held up his hands protectively but in his surprise stumbled backward, only managing not to fall by the side mirror of his car.
"Shit kid, he ain't that scary." Hidan said, staring at him with that damned amused grin. Shikamaru didn't reply, he didn't want to have a conversation with him, or anyone. He just wanted to go home and-
"So you wanna get high?"
"WHAT?" Shikamaru said, or yelped more like, looking around for anyone who might hear.
"C'mon, seriously. You don't have to act all innocent. I ain't gonna snitch on you. Besides aren't you technically some kind of cop? You're allowed to bend the rules."
"How do you even-"
"I know more than you think I know. I'm not fucking stupid."
'Could've fooled me..' Shikamaru thought to himself.
"So? Yes or no? I'm doing it regardless so I don't really give a fuck, I'm just trying to be a nice guy. I am nice, you know, when you give me the chance. But seriously, I got shit that'll make you never wanna be sober again."
Shikamaru was speechless. Not so much at the offer, but because he realized that he actually wanted to take him up on it. And not for the reasons everyone would assume, he had a plan. He always had a plan.
He looked back and forth from his house to Hidan's, mind going a mile a minute. There were so many uncertian variables, he needed to figure everything out while his head was still functioning correctly and play them in his mind a few times so he would automatically know what to do in each scenario, stoned or not. Several things could go badly, and that would be a mega drag...
"Well..." He said, Hidan's eyebrows raised expectantly and his grin grew even more.
A/N- Bahahaha! It feels so good to do a cliffhanger, oh man haven't written on of those in forever! But yea, I told you I'd try to update fast and surely the next day is fast enough for you. Heh, Honestly I'm just super-inspired and I want to write as much as possible before it goes away.
Anywhosen, REVIEW!
