-1Monday Night F.L.A.W.!

Episode 2

As Triple H stands over the mutilated body of Mankind, the whine of awful disco music fills the arena.

Jerry "The King" Lawler - "Hey, JR, isn't that-?"

Dude Love walks out on stage, dancing.

JR - "What the hell? Triple H just killed Mick Foley! Who the fuck is this?!"

King - "It's Dude Love!"

Triple H looks at Shawn Michaels and motions for him to follow him up the ramp. As they make their way up the ramp, someone else's music hits.

King - "Who could it be?"

The King's questions is answered as Cactus Jack walks out and meets Dude Love.

JR - "This is getting out of hand! Who the fuck are these people?!"

King - "It's Cactus Jack and Dude Love."

JR - "Would you please just shut the fuck up! Mick Foley is dead, how could these mother fuckers be his characters?!"

King - "Maybe there was always three Mick Foleys…"

Cactus Jack holds a barbed wire bat in his hand while Dude Love carries a steel chair. They both look at Shawn and HHH with intensity. The fight begins! HHH runs up the ramp, sledge hammer in hand, swinging at Cactus Jack. Cactus blocks with his bat and the two start dueling like they were holding swords. Shawn Michaels is met halfway up the ramp by Dude Love. Dude Love swings wildly with the chair, but misses. Shawn dives at him with his elbow out, smashing Dude Love in the face. They both fall off the side of the ramp and continue to brawl.

Back at the top of the stage, Cactus finally lands a blow with the barbed wire bat. He smashes it into the gut of HHH, ripping chunk of skin out. Cactus Jack then proceeds to eat the raw HHH meat like cold cuts.

HHH - "You asshole! You ate part of my fucking skin!"

HHH slams the head of the sledgehammer into Cactus Jack's stomach. As Cactus Jack is crumpled over, HHH swing the hammer 360 degrees and brings it down onto Cactus Jack's back. The crack of Jack's spine snapping fills the arena. HHH starts to walk away but…

Cactus Jack - "You can't put me away that easy!"

HHH turns back around and sees Cactus Jack standing up. Well, not all the way up. Jack stands there, his torso hanging over his pelvis.

HHH - "What are you gonna do in that condition?"

Cactus Jack - "I'm gonna eat some more of you, just I like I ate your fat mama's crusty pussy! Meat from bone, bitch!"

HHH - "I'm gonna kill you, just like I killed that sweaty fuck, Mankind!"

Meanwhile, Shawn Michaels and Dude Love have fought into the back stage area. Dude Love grabs a plastic fork from one of the concession tables and jams it into Michaels' neck. Blood squirts all over the place as Shawn pulls it free. He grabs a lighter from a bystander and holds it up to the wound, searing it shut. Oddly enough, the bystander also had some Vodka. Michaels takes a swig of the Vodka and blow it over the open flame, sending a fireball into Dude Love's face. Dude Love's hair catches on fire, so Shawn smashes a chair over his head, putting it out. Shawn lays Dude Love on a table while he is dazed, and climbs up a concrete pillar to the rafters. From over thirty feet in the air, Shawn Michaels jumps, bringing his elbow down into the chest of Dude Love as they crash through the table.

HHH swings the hammer at Cactus Jack again, but misses as Cactus Jack ducks. Well, actually HHH just swung too high to begin with. Cactus Jack runs at HHH, and takes a bite out of his quadriceps muscle.

HHH - "Bastard! I need that!"

HHH fights through the pain and kicks Cactus Jack in the head. HHH pulls Cactus Jack's head between his legs, then hooks his arms and full force pedigrees Cactus Jack into the steel mesh of the stage. HHH gets up, confident that his job is done. But Cactus Jack gets up again!

HHH - "What the hell?! You're really pissing me off!"

HHH kicks Cactus Jack again and again until he is a brutalized heap of human flesh. Then, HHH drags Cactus Jack to the side of the stage, sets him up for another pedigree, then jumps from the side of the stage with Jack. They fall about ten feet down. HHH lands on his knees, blowing both of his knee caps out and into the audience. But Cactus Jack gets the worst of it. The top of Cactus Jack's head smashes into the concrete causing his brain to burst from his skull. HHH grabs a piece of Jack's brain and take a bite.

HHH - "Now who's eatin' who, bitch?!"

Shawn Michaels and Dude Love slowly start to get up, but Dude Love has a piece of the table sticking in his neck.

Dude Love - "No, this just won't do, man! I'm not gonna lose, cool daddy!"

Shawn - "Just shut the fuck up!"

Michaels hit's the Sweet Chin Music, which tears Dude Love's head completely off. Dude Love's head flies over fifty feet until it lands in a fans hands.

Fan - "Oh shit! I'm gonna mount this mother fucker in my living room! And then I'm gonna hang it on the wall!"

Shawn meets back up with HHH, as he is being carried out on a stretcher. The two of them leave the arena with a huge ovation from the fans.

King - "That was an awesome match, JR!"

JR - "I just can't figure out how the fuck there is three Mick Foleys…"

Tune in next week, for more "Monday Night F.L.A.W.!!!"