Sooooo, like I promised. Longer A/N.
Welcome to my birthday fic for my friend CaptainS10!
This story is written as if the books never happened. I'll try to keep the characters as IC as possible, but I make no promises. Especially since I'll be putting them in situations Colfer never even brought them close to….except one. That I know of. But that's for later.
Anyway, the theme song for the story is "I Want You to Know" by Zedd featuring Selena Gomez. Take from that what you will.
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, I just have my little broken dolls that I play with.
Just a note: I will be using some Irish terms relating to the government. Definitions of the terms will be at the bottom of each chapter.
(Bonus points go to anyone who can tell me where inspiration for the chapter titles comes from.)
Chapter One: In Which an Unorthodox Solution is Proposed and Holly Takes Offense
Artemis Fowl II scowled.
It was late in the afternoon and he was sitting at his mahogany desk in his office at Fowl Manor, his face lit by the soft glow of three computer screens.
The 24-year-old reread the message on the screen directly in front of him, then looked at the open spreadsheet on a screen to his left and clicked refresh. He scowled harder when it didn't change. What it meant didn't change either.
Fowl Industries stocks were falling, and fast.
The Fowls had spent so much time supporting and funding the war that they now were nearly as unpopular as it was.
Artemis needed to find a way to sway public opinion back into their favor — quickly.
He leaned back in his black, padded office chair. Settling his elbows on the armrests, he folded his hands and brought his index fingers to his lips.
Anyone who knew him well instantly would have been able to tell that something was up. The suit jacket he normally donned was draped over the back of the chair and the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled nearly up to his elbows.
The man was distracted from his train of thought by a buzzing in the left pocket of his grey suit jacket.
He fished the phone out and pressed accept without taking his eyes from the screens.
"What?" he said silkily.
"Ah, Mr. Fowl. I'm glad you picked up."
Artemis recognized the voice immediately. Henric McGarr, the president of Ireland.
"Listen Mr. Fowl, the taoiseach and I may have something, but we would like your thoughts first."
"Something for what exactly, sir?" Artemis asked, easily managing to keep his annoyance and impatience hidden. It was best to stick with official titles, even when the official in question was really nothing more than a foreman for the Irish government.
"A way to end this blasted war, of course," McGarr replied excitedly, not at all affected by the cold tone of voice coming through the phone.
Artemis narrowed his eyes, his full attention finally on the phone call.
"Your private office?" he asked.
"Yes."
"I'll be there in 80 minutes." The young man ended the call without waiting for a reply. Anyone who needed to be there either was at the office already or would be by the time he arrived. He just was important like that.
He was right.
When Artemis arrived at the gates of Áras an Uachtaráin, he and Butler were escorted inside immediately.
At the front entrance, they were met by a guard who showed them to the President's Office on the second floor.
Butler was, as usual, on high alert. As soon as the door to the office opened, the Eurasian stepped inside, beginning a sweep of the room.
Artemis waited patiently, mentally sweeping the room as he knew his bodyguard was doing physically.
After checking the people, Butler would move around the room, checking under the two couches and three chairs, the coffee table nestled between them, the ornate white desk and chair the heavy-set McGarr would sit at when working and the decorative tables along the walls. For a start.
A few minutes later, Butler slipped back through the door and nodded.
"Wait out here," Artemis ordered.
Butler nodded and assumed guard duty — even though there already were two standing on either side and another three patrolling the hallway.
McGarr, Galvan O'Neill, the taoiseach, and the chairpersons of the Dáil Éireann and Seanad Éireann were waiting for Artemis inside.
"We want to join the humans and fairies together," O'Neill said as soon as the door was closed and locked.
Artemis merely arched an eyebrow as he moved to sit on one of the brown faux leather couches while he waited for the man to continue. He always had appreciated O'Neill's frankness.
When he didn't continue, Artemis bit back a sigh of annoyance.
"And how, exactly, do you propose we do such a thing," he finally questioned.
The other three men in the room suddenly looked rather nervous.
Dominique Ireabet, a short, thin woman who was cathaoirleach of the Seanad Éireann, rolled her dark eyes.
"Marriage," she said bluntly. "We believe that if two influential people — one from each race —show the world they can live peacefully under the same roof, it hopefully will be enough to end this war."
Artemis blinked twice and just barely managed to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to need some tea."
"A marriage?!" she screeched. Her voice almost echoed in the small, but soundproof and secure, meeting room.
Wing Commander Holly Short gaped at her commanding officer and the councilperson before her. "Are they insane?"
She looked between the stocky elf and the thin, silver-haired woman and a look of abject horror crept across her face.
"No. Oh no," she said. "You can't actually tell me you're considering this!"
Root sighed. "It's unorthodox, but it just might work. Especially considering who the groom will be."
Holly narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Something was up here.
"And who exactly, is the groom?" she asked, cautiously eyeing the pair before her.
Root looked uncomfortable. He opened his mouth to answer, but Helana Udell, the councilperson who just happened also to be Holly's great-aunt once removed, cut him off.
"The point," the elf-sprite mix emphasized, "is that if we are able to produce a suitable bride with equivalent status, this war very well could be over within a few short months."
Holly opened her mouth to protest the sacrificing of an innocent girl. She could just imagine the type of fairy the humans would demand — a docile, young elf or pixie who would almost certainly have to be of royal blood.
"This is not up for debate Short," Helana said harshly before Holly could get a word out.
The elf in question snapped her mouth closed. She knew better than to argue with her family's matriarch when she used that tone of voice.
Still seething, Holly gritted her teeth and somehow managed to keep her volume at a reasonable level. "Did you have someone in mind, ma'am?"
Helana and Root looked at each other, then back at Holly.
Root looked resigned, but Helana's expression held nothing but determination.
Holly would have expected nothing less of the councilperson's demeanor, but Root's expression...she felt a pit begin to open up in her stomach.
Pinning Holly with her grey eyes, Helana said only one word, but it was a word that would change Holly's life forever.
"You."
Definitions:
Áras an Uachtaráin: official residence of the President of Ireland
- located in the Phoenix Park on the north side of Dublin.
Taoiseach: Prime Minister of Ireland
Oireachtas: Legislature of Ireland
- consists of the President, Dáil Éireann and Seanad Éireann
Dáil Éireann: Assembly of Ireland
Ceann Comhairle: chairperson of the Dáil Éireann
Seanad Éireann: Senate of Ireland
Cathaoirleach: chairperson of the Seanad Éireann
Presidential Commission: collective vice-presidency of Ireland
- 3 members: Chief Justice (President of the Supreme Court), Ceann Comhairle and Cathaoirleach
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