Disclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimer: i'm not pro enough to own anything.


Bella Charlie Edward

Why am I using notes as a form of communication?

They're the way of the future!

Okay. Is Edward coming over tonight?

You mean Edwin?

No... Edward.

I don't know who you're talking about...

Your boyfriend?

My fuck buddy?

BELLA! Are you being safe?

Dad, I'm a virgo.

I know that, you're my daughter.

How scandalous.

Have you done your homework?

I have homework?! Why wasn't I informed of this?

Umm, I'd better go answer the door.

EDWINNNNNNNNNN!

Remind me again why I'm dressed like a nerd.

Because... I told you to.

But why did you tell me to?

Because I love you.

I love you too Bella, but that doesn't answer my question.

You love Bella? Hey, me too! Let's be friends.

Dad, go away. No one wants to be your friend, ever.

Well, I know when I'm not wanted... -sulks-

Aww Eddie you look adorable with glasses.

Yeah I thought so too. Maybe I'll wear them more often. Like forever.

When I was little I had this doll with glasses and it was so cute.

Are you comparing me to a little kid's doll?

Yeah. The similarity is that I can play with both.

Bella...

Yes Edwin?

Why am I wearing a dinosaur tail?

All the cool nerds do it nowadays!

I don't think there's such thing as a cool nerd.

There is now!

In that case, would you care to join me in cool nerd-dom?

NEVERRRRRR, I would never be caught dead with a nerd!

...You don't want to be with me when you're dead?

No. Why would I want to do that?

Because. You love me?

Oh yeah, that's right.

Hmm

-prods- Now is when you're mean't to say 'rawr!'

RAWR!

Yay, I be teaching you well.

Teaching me what exactly?

Everything you'd ever need to know to freak people out.

Or I could just bite someone...

ooh, ME PLEASE

No, don't bite her! Only I'm allowed to do that!

Uh dad... no.

What? I wanna be a cool cat too!

Did you just call me a cat?

Umm, yes I guess I did.

COOL! I HAVE A TAIL.

And what a beautiful tail it is too.

Bellllla, stop ticklung mee with yur tail!

That's not my tail, it's a knife.

Oh, I was wondering why it was pointy.

You're bleeding!

Oh, that's what the pink stuff is.

It's red...

Not anymore!

Edward, stop licking your lips, it's not dinner time!

Oh sorry, my lips were, uh, dry.

Maybe I could change that for you ;)

Ahem, bleeding here,

That's not blood, it's creaming soda.

Are you sure? -tastes it- oh. I see.

Umm, he has blood on his pants.

OH NO, I HAVE MY PERIOD!

Only girls have periods, so unless there's something you haven't told us...

I was a girl once. Back in 1969.

How coincidental

HIS ANUS IS BLEEDING!

Dad, what have you been shoving up there?

Toy truck.

Okay, I don't even wanna know...


Yeah so this is pretty much just me having an imaginary conversation that leads to nowhere in particular.. yes, it sucks.