A/N: Hey! Cray Wolf here! Welcome to chapter two of 'We're All Insane!' If you're reading this I'm assuming you must have liked last chapter – I'm so glad! Okay, okay. Enough of the silly Author's Notes. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park nor am I affiliated with it in any way.
WARNING: Trigger warning! I mean, it's a mental hospital. What do you expect?
Chapter Two: Why Bother
Why must I be so cold?
I always say my words so bold
Why can't I do as I'm told?
Why must the life I see through my eyes
Be covered in shadows
And sprinkled with lies?
Cray Wolf
"It's fun falling 'til you hit the ground."
Cray Wolf
I'm not really sure how they thought we would react, but, they sure seemed surprised about what we did when we all awoke in the back of a dark van.
"Ack! Where are we?!" Was what I woke up to.
"Tweek. What are you-"I stopped mid-sentence. Wait. Seriously, where are we?
"Hang on…" Suddenly I could see where we were – well, kinda. We were in a moving van. The walls were white and rusted in spots, and so was the floor. Damien had a glowing fire floating above his hands for light.
"Thanks, Damien." I said to him.
"Whatever." He replied.
"No, no, no! What if the fire makes the car explode?! Put it out!" Said a shaking Tweek. I reached my hand over to him and took his hand in mine.
"Don't worry, it won't explode." I reassured him in my dull voice. He only whimpered and his face turned red.
"Ugh! You guys are so fucking gay!" Groaned Cartman. He stood up and started kicking the side of the wall. "Aye! Lemme out! I ain't no psycho!"
"Fuck this shit…" Mumbled Kenny before he stood sleepily and began punching the wall next to Cartman. "This isn't right! You have no right to keep us here!" He yelled.
"Hey! Keep it down in there or its sleepy time for all of ya!" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the wall. That must be where the driver's seat is.
"Guys, stop!" Stan exclaimed. He had a scowl of annoyance painted on his face.
"For real. That's not gonna do anything." Agreed Kyle, who was sitting next to Stan.
"If you guys would stop, I would be soooo happy." I droned.
"Oh sh- shut up, Craig." Cried Clyde, as tears filled his eyes.
"Stop crying…" Grumbled Bebe.
"My FILE! IT'S GONE!" Screamed Red, making Tweek yelp in surprise.
"Uh, F-fellas…" Butters tried to get everyone's attention. Damien looked like he was about to snap. It was too loud in here. Clyde started wailing while Bebe smacked him upside the head.
"OH MY FUCKING CATS!" Roared the Anti-Christ. Cats? "WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP ALREADY?!" Everyone fell quiet.
"Hey! What did I just say?!" Called the man on the other side of the wall.
"Quiet or I'll sentence you to eternity in Hell!" Damien warned the man.
"Just keep it down or its sleepy time, kid!" The man responded. Damien growled under his breath.
"Uh, dude, just warp us outta hyah!" Demanded a worn out Fatass.
"Hm? No way, why would I do that?" Damien laughed. "Hey, you guys will be arriving at Hells Pass soon. I gotta go. Finally you guys will be gone… geez."
"What? Did you set u-us up?" Accused Buttered.
"What? Oh. No, I just got lucky. Haha… See ya. Or not!" And with that he was gone. The van was filled with darkness once more.
"Dick." I said. "He hated us so much he's leaving us in here. That's so awesome…" I muttered sarcasticly.
"Pfft. Like I wanted him around anyway." Cartman barked.
"Hey! We're arriving, so don't try anything funny, got it?" The man yelled to us. No one said anything. Soon the van came to a sudden stop, causing most of us to fall. The back door opened a moment later and the sunlight nearly blinded me. We all stood there, starting at the security guys and two ladies. One lady reached and grabbed Bebe by her arm. She told her to step out of the vehicle and then handcuffed her when she tried to get away. Next, the second lady took Red and handcuffed her too, "for safety", she said. The girls took them all away and into the building ahead.
"W-w-wait! Where a-are you t-t-t-taking them?" Asked Tweek, who was uncharacteristically calm. The male that was handcuffing him paused.
"To the female unit." He said and continued to lock the cuffs.
"Female unit?! We're gonna be separated? Nooooo!" Cried Kenny. Of course that would upset him, the horny bastard. After we were all cuffed, the men brought us into Hells Pass. We went in a way I'd never been before. It was around the side that opened with a key card. We all were crammed into an elevator that also required a card to open. Tweek and I were quiet as every other boy was whining and complaining. Clyde was crying again. We all were taken into separate rooms.
"Strip." The man had told me.
"What? No." I replied numbly.
"You have to. We have to check your clothes and body to make sure you're not hiding anything."
"I promise I'm not hiding anything." I told him.
"Funny. Now, strip." He said again. After much convincing I finally took of my shirt and handed it to him. He shook it out and felt all over it with his rubber gloved hands. "Clean." He said. "Now you're pants." I did as I was told, revealing my black boxers. He put his hands in my black skinny jean pockets and felt around. He pulled out a chap stick and my wallet. He placed them in a plastic bag.
"Hey. That's mine." I pointed out the obvious.
"Yup. We'll put them in your locker for when you get out." He muttered as though the line were practiced. I was sure it was. I sighed. "Take off your boxers." I blushed as I pulled them down and handed them to him, my other hand covering my now exposed privates. "Oh, so you do have emotions…" The man smirked as he looked through my clothes as I handed him my socks and shoes.
"Fuck you."
"I wouldn't talk like that way to staff, if I were you. I gave the finger. "Ugh. Okay, stretch your arms over your head." He sighed. I blushed deeper as I moved my hands away from my body and put the above my head. "Squat and cough."
"Wait, what?"
"Just do it."
"I'm not hiding anything up my ass, retard." I said in monotone.
Let's just say I did squat and cough. I'm not going into detail about that. And no, there wasn't anything up there. Geez. We finished the strip search and they marked on my chart or something everywhere I had a scar, freckle, birthmark, bruise, or cut. They asked where all the scars and bruises came from and if the cuts were self-inflicted. They weren't, of course. No one was hitting me, and I wasn't ever abused. They continued to ask me questions in some lady's office.
"Do you have a history of drugs and/or alcohol?"
"I've smoked weed, and once I shared a beer with my dad."
"Are you sexually active?"
"…"
"Craig."
"Not recently."
"When was the las time you had sex?"
"My birthday."
"Alright. With a male or female?"
"Female!"
"Oh? More emotions, I see." The lady said. I scoffed. "Have you ever impregnated a female?"
"No."
"What is your sexuality?"
"Straight."
"Okay… Have you ever been in trouble with the law?"
"No." I lied. Stupid Cartman, getting me in trouble.
"Right. Just remember, we'll be asking your parents the same questions about you." She smiled. It was fake. "Do you have any mental issues?"
"I have an emotional disorder, apparently."
"Interesting. Want to tell me about it?"
"No."
"Hm." She scribbled something down on my chart one last time. "Okay then. That's all we need from you. The rest of my questions will be asked to your parents."
"Are they here?"
"No."
"When can I see them and my sister?"
"That depends on your behavior." She stood up. "Come with me, Mr. Tucker."
The woman lead me onto what I assumed was the unit. "Here." She picked up a cup on a small table and poured water into it from a pitcher. She pulled out a pill from her pocket. She handed it to me. "Take it." She ordered. I was so sick of everything, I didn't even question the medicine. I put it in my mouth and washed it down with water. "Good job." She praised me. I rolled my eyes. She started walking again and I followed her down a hall full of rooms. The rooms had open doors and I caught a glimpse of Clyde, asleep in a bed. She led me into one of the rooms and as soon as I saw who my roommate was, my heart leapt in my chest.
Tweek.
A/N: So, actually, those are question a person might actually ask you there, and I would know, so don't tell me it's not. Also, that is what happens in a strip search, so again, don't tell me it's not. That's all!
CRAY WOLF OUT!
