A/N: So I had to compromise with this one. I split it in two, because I'm still not finished with the end of this chapter, so the scene where it gets its M rating doesn't happen until the next chapter...and for that I'm sorry. But this week's going to be busy, and I don't think I'll have time to update until the weekend, so I wanted to at least give you something. Thank you for the guest reviews, I wish I could respond, but alas, you are guests, so I have to give my love here. I'm also really sorry this author's note has been as long as the damn chapter, it won't always be like this. I swear, next one, I'll barely say anything.
I listened to the song "I Don't Wanna Be In Love" by Dark Waves on repeat and that's where even the title of the story comes from. It's a lovely song, have a listen.
Disclaimer: I do not own American Horror Story, and if I did, it'd probably just turn into some sappy romance show, so thank god it's not mine.
Any and all mistakes are mine.
go and fall in love with someone else
go on and find someone better
who can keep you warm
who can give you more
...we both know that's not enough
Jimmy sat down on his cot with a long-suffering sigh, looking around his bare tent with unseeing eyes. He thought back to everything that had happened in the span of a few short hours.
"Please, Jimmy, make me feel something."
...
"No, stop! Stop!"
...
"Somebody call an ambulance!"
...
Jimmy rubbed his hooked hands down his face, then just as quickly removed them. He had nothing to worry about, his hands were long since washed of Desiree's blood, but they still felt dirty. He figured he should feel angry with himself, ashamed, or sad, but honestly he didn't. He felt...confirmed, that this was no big surprise, really. He was a monster. God, he couldn't even fucking touch a girl without hurting her.
He was defeated.
He flopped down on his bed, closing his eyes and hoping that sleep could take him from his racing thoughts. He had just started to feel the tug of exhaustion pull him under when he heard the rustling of his tent flap being pushed open. Huffing in frustration, he opened his eyes and looked towards the entrance.
"Maggie? What the hell are you doing here?" The disbelief in his voice rang clear through the room.
She was standing in the opening of the tent, holding the edge of the flap with one hand and clutching her skirt nervously with the other. Gone was the scarf and ponytail keeping her hair from her face, instead her blonde tresses hung softly in waves around her shoulders. He was shocked and annoyed with himself. He was rejected by this girl only three short hours ago and he was right back to his puppy love thoughts. He really needed a reality check.
"Hey," she said quietly, "I, uh, ran into Desiree and your mother on the way over here."
Jimmy shut his eyes tightly and exhaled roughly through his nose. Of course she did.
"Of course you did." he repeated aloud.
"Desiree told me what happened." she continued as if he hadn't've said anything, "She thought you should know what the doctor said."
"I don't need you to clarify what I already know, sweetheart." Jimmy feigned indifference, giving her a dry look and an insincere smirk.
Maggie instantly dropped her sympathetic gaze, and she lifted her chin defiantly in response.
"Do you actually think I'm gonna fall for that act? The one where you're all unaffected and disinterested? Newsflash, stupid. I know you better than you think." Maggie took a strong step forward, frowning at him in growing anger. "You think you're a better actor than you actually are, Jimmy."
"Coming from the future seer who said I could do anything I wanted. Are you taking that back? Because I had such big acting plans." he taunted, his face twisting into a mocking smirk.
Just go away, Maggie. Stay far, far away.
"Is this all a joke to you?" The anger was now rolling off of her in waves. Maggie couldn't contain herself any longer and took another angry stride towards him. "You know I was actually concerned about you, and how the guilt must've been eating you alive over Desiree. So I ran to your tent as soon as I heard the news, but from the looks of things, you just seem as right as rain, don't you?"
She turned away and strode towards opening of the tent. Pushing the flap aside angrily, she twisted back around to face Jimmy.
"Desiree's fine." she stated plainly. "The bleeding was due to a miscarriage. It wasn't you. You being there was purely a coincidence. If you even cared to know." She turned to leave.
"Wait!" Jimmy jumped from his bed, following after her. "How is that even possible? She was pregnant?"
"Yeah," Maggie said tiredly, turning around. "I guess the doctor said she'd always been one hundred percent woman, ergo, pregnancy could happen."
She tried to leave again, but Jimmy couldn't let her, not yet. Before he even knew what he was doing, he grabbed onto her wrist.
She stopped in her tracks and glanced down at his hand wrapped around her arm. Jimmy saw the look and dropped her arm as if it had burned him. Maggie let her arm drop as she looked back up at him in startled confusion. Her eyes narrowed as he linked both of his hands behind his back.
"Wait a minute. I think I understand this better now," Maggie cocked her head to the side. "You think you're going to hurt me."
Jimmy wouldn't meet her eyes.
"Do you, Jimmy? Do you think you hurt Desiree? Do you think you're going to hurt me?"
He stayed silent, staring a hole into the ground. He could hear his heart pounding violently in his chest, and he could vaguely hear her moving closer to him.
"You wouldn't. You could never hurt me, Jimmy." Her voice was a soft whisper, blowing away with the wind. She reached forward slowly and tugged his hands loose, bringing one arm forward. She waited until Jimmy met her eyes, and then she stared at him as she linked her fingers through his. It was slightly awkward positioning, what with him basically having three digits instead of five, but the gesture was sweet and Jimmy couldn't breathe.
"See? I'm not hurt. Not even close." she whispered with a small playful smile. Her eyes grew thoughtful for a moment, as if she were pondering something, until they lit up mischievously.
"I once told you that I thought you could do anything. I was right you can. Even this."
And then she grasped his neck harshly and pulled his head down for a violent kiss. It was passionate and raw, and Jimmy's last thought before sinking into blissful oblivion was that no one had ever wanted to kiss him like this. But then passion took over and he found himself wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her body closer to his. She moaned as he pressed his hips into hers, and he took that opportunity to open her mouth for him to slip his tongue inside and taste her further.
Neither of them could hold in their moans as they heatedly explored each other's mouths, clinging to each other roughly. It wasn't until they heard the abrupt sound of laughing freaks passing by a few yards away that they sprung apart, breathing heavily and staring at each other with dark, lust-filled eyes.
Maggie put her hand to her mouth, red and swollen from kissing. She broke the silence a few seconds later.
"We shouldn't have done that."
The words took a few moments to sink in. When they did, Jimmy's face morphed into a cold mask and when he laughed, it was a harsh and unforgiving sound.
He opened his mouth to say something, but he found the taste in his mouth had turned bitter, and he couldn't say anything, so he turned and stalked back to his tent.
A/N: I know, I know. That's twice in a row I've left it like that. But next chapter picks up immediately where this ends. Maggie isn't done saying her piece just yet. ;) I didn't proofread this one, so if there are a lot of mistakes, that's on me.
Kindly leave me a review letting me know what you think! See ya soon!
