Hutch sat there on the couch just staring in the silence. He hadn't moved from that spot since he came home. His mind kept going back to the incident at Starsky's place. He just couldn't stand himself for the way he had treated his best friend.

They had both talked about what had happened with Kira, but Hutch felt like there was something more to it. Starsky had forgiven him, but it didn't feel like they were Me and Thee anymore. Hutch wondered at times if Starsky really had forgiven him. He had seemed sincere that night when Hutch had broken down crying, begging his friend for his forgiveness. Why then was there such a strain on their friendship?

Hutch couldn't quite let go of the shame and guilt he felt. He couldn't believe how easily he had betrayed Starsky, over a woman who really cared nothing for him.

You're a damn fool! You can never find a love like your brother could give you, yet you throw it away for a woman!

Hutch often wondered when he was alone, why did his partner forgive him so easily? Why did the brunet still trust him? Why did his brother not hold it against him? Scream at him, leave him, or transfer partners? The one burning question kept popping in his mind.

Why did Starsky still love him?

He had betrayed that love and given it to someone who only wanted to destroy them. Hutch couldn't forgive himself that easily.

He went over to the kitchen and pulled out his six pack of beer. If thinking it over in his mind wouldn't get rid of the disturbing questions, then the liquor would.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Starsky lay in his bed, trying to shut his mind off from the day's events. However, it wouldn't shut off long enough to let him sleep.

How could Hutch not trust him? They had always been there for one another in the good and bad times. Ever since what happened with Kira, their relationship had never been the same. Starsky had been hurt when he had found out that his best friend had been with his girl. He felt like his heart was shattered.

He had always trusted Hutch. The loyal blond had never let him down. He had saved his life more times than Starsky could count. Hutch had held him every time he cried. Listen to him vent out his emotions late at night, not even caring that he had lost sleep. He always had taken care of Starsky when he was sick, wither it be a common cold or a bullet. Hutch always had taken the time to look out for him.

Starsky always ran to Hutch when people, whom he loved, had betrayed him. So what was he supposed to do when Hutch was the one who had hurt him?

When Hutch had told him how sorry he truly was, Starsky had had a hard time staying angry with him. Then when his friend had begun crying begging him not to leave him, Starsky knew then that he could never hate his partner no matter how angry he was. He had reassured his brother that night that he stilled loved him, and it was all in the past. They had both cried in each other's arms, promising never to lose sight of each other again.

However, their relationship still was a bit shaky. Starsky had told Hutch that he needed time to think, and Hutch didn't push him. Yet, it was almost as if they were drifting further and further apart. They didn't joke around as much anymore. They even rode in separate cars to work. It was if they had become partners only in the work related sense. They didn't spend any more time together. They used to always buy the other one a beer down at the Pits. Now when they did go out together, there was always this awkward silence between them.

The thing that had hurt Starsky the most though, was the lack of touching. Throughout the years of their friendship, Starsky and Hutch always touched each other. They would walk in the office with their arms around each other, always play wrestled, ruffling the other one's hair, pats on the back or squeeze on the shoulder. When troubles came hard and one of them was hurt physically or emotionally, they would give each other hugs, or even go so far as to give a quick kiss on the head. It was how they connected without words. They spoke to one another's soul what they couldn't say in words. This was apparent to everyone around them too.

All of these reassuring touches were gone, and Starsky found himself feeling very much alone. He dearly wished for his old partner back. He wished things could change to how they used to be.

Now laying there in his bed, thinking about their friendship and how much he missed it, Starsky let some tears slip down his face. He fought the urge to call Hutch and ask him what was going on.

He doesn't want to talk to you. The man doesn't even trust you.

The ring of the phone echoed in the dark room, snapping Starsky out of his depressing thoughts.

He looked at his watch and groaned, "Who the hell calls at 1:30 in the morning?" He reluctantly got out of bed.

"Yeah?" He spoke softly still groggy from sleepiness.

"Starsk?" The other voice was soft as well, but almost shaky.

Starsky recognized the voice in half a second.

"Hutch?" He was wide wake now, "What's up, buddy?"

"N-nothing I uh…" His heart broke as he heard the sob on the other end.

"Aw buddy," Starsky spoke soothingly, "What's going on, huh? Don't cry, babe. It's ok."

"I didn't w-wanna call you." Hutch seemed to have gotten control of himself, "But I had to apologize…even though you shouldn't forgive me."

Starsky recognized the strange slur in Hutch's voice.

"Hutch?" He spoke louder now, "Have you been drinking?"

"Yeah," Came the slurred reply, "Seemed better than sitting in my own self-pity."

"Blondie, you're scaring me!" Starsky yelled back, "How much have you drunk? Wait- don't answer that. I'm coming over."

"No!" Hutch sounded so helpless that Starsky tried to keep his own tears at bay, "Don't want you here. You shouldn't havta take care of me anymore." He began sobbing again and Starsky did too.

"Hutch, don't say that," Starsky slipped on his shoes, "It's always gonna be my job to look out for ya. That's what we do. That's what Me and Thee is all about. I take care of you, you take of me. Don't matter what happened, that'll never change."

"I killed what we had, Starsk," Hutch sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it. God, if I could take it back I would! I swear I would, buddy."

"I know that," Starsky whispered, "But we'll deal with this together."

"No we can't," Hutch replied, "We can't fix this, Starsky. I just wanna die!"

"Don't say that!" Starsky yelled, "You think I want another partner, I don't! I love you Hutch and I don't wanna live without you!"

"Starsky just…" Hutch sighed, "Just go back to sleep, huh? Didn't mean to wake you up. In the morning you won't have to deal with me anymore."

"Hutch!" Starsky felt his heart pounding. He swore when he heard the line go dead.

He ran downstairs and jumped in his car. He kept hoping and praying Hutch would feel him, and wait for him to get there.

Don't do this, Hutch. Please, I don't know what I'd do without ya. I need ya, babe. Dear God, please wait for me, partner! Hang on, babe. I'm coming!