EahATWC – Chapter 2

Eponnia: Thanks so much for the lovely review! Reviews make my day and especially when they're as nice as yours. Yeah, my Enjolras swings between Ramin Karimloo and David Thaxton, and, like you, Joseph is just one of those roles I'd be happy to see either of them play (which is how I got the idea to do this in the first place) :)

Okay, since I forgot to do this last time and consequently received a long lecture from Javert on the importance of disclaimers...

I did not receive the ownership rights to Les Miz or any of its characters for Christmas (sniffle). I own nothing, nada, rien, zilch. Not even the idea of forcing the Mizzies to do this sort of thing. Don't bother suing me, it's not worth it.

Valjean: Aha! So, finally you return.

Me: Hey! I have a life outside this, you know.

Grantaire: ::grumbling:: You have a life, period.

Me: Well, that's hardly my fault, is it?

Montparnasse: Oh, I dunno. We could fix that for you if you wanted... ::Thenardier's gang start advancing towards me menacingly::

Me: Why are you picking on me? ::All suddenly look very guilty:: Okay, what happened? ::Silence. Enjolras is trying to sneak away:: Enjy!

Enjolras: Damn!

Me: Did you give one of your speeches again?

Enjolras: ...I may have said a few...

Me: Dude!

Enjolras: I'm a revolutionary! It's in my blood to defy authority to the last!

Me: Yeah, and your blood is dripping down the barricade.

Javert: Ooh! Burn!

Courfeyrac: ::shoving him:: Oh do shut up!

Javert: How dare you push an officer of the law?

Gavroche: It's funny.

Javert: ::clutching his nightstick:: You think it's funny to mock the law? The law is not mocked!

Me: Oh god! ::facepalm:: Look, we've got a lot to do today, so may I respectfully suggest we get on with it?

Marius: Can we go to Disneyland today?

Me: No! We are working! Deal with it, spaniel-hair!

Marius: ::bursts into tears::

Cosette: Oh, now look what you've done!

Me: Well, I mean come on! Exactly how much product does he use in his hair anyway? There's no way it can constantly be that fluffy on its own.

Eponine: ::singing quietly:: On its own, Marius's hair is fluffy. All alone, without any extra products...

Me: Argh! People can we please just focus?

Joly: You know, stress is very bad for your heart.

Me: Well, I wouldn't be so stressed if you lot would just behave.

Javert: You do realize I haven't done anything?

Valjean: ::muttering:: Suck-up!

Javert: I'm sorry. Did you say something, Mr I-fired-you-and-basically-killed-you-so-now-I'm-gonna-look-after-your-child-so-you'll-let-me-get-into-heaven?

Valjean: I didn't kill her!

Fantine: Well, it was cos of you I became a prostitute and subsequently caught pneumonia and died...

Valjean: What? Why are you siding with him?

Me: The world's gone mad...

Joly: Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.

Bousset: And the second is talking to fictional characters.

Me: Enough! Okay,

Gavroche: Are we counting these again?

Feuilly: It was rather fun...

Bahorel: What were we on?

Bousset: I think it was four...

Combeferre: And we missed some from earlier.

Jehan: Two.

Gavroche: So we're on six.

Grantaire: And when she reaches ten, we all have to do a shot.

Me: Absolutely not!

Eponine: Gives you an incentive not to reach ten, though.

Marius: How did you know a word like incentive?

Eponine: I know a lot of things, I do.

Me: Okay,

Valjean: Seven.

Me: Whatever! Getting back to our Joseph performance. Enjolras, I seem to recall you had a question at the end of the last chapter.

Enjolras: Oh yes. I was just wondering what we were going to do about the miniscule problem of needing a children's chorus.

Gavroche: My friends can help.

Me: Okay then. ::Navet and several other boys appear out of thin air::

Jehan: I do wish you wouldn't just make them appear like that.

Me: Sorry, Jehan. ::Navet and the others disappear. There is a knock at the door, and they enter that way:: Better?

Jehan: Much. Thank you.

Me: You're welcome.

Courfeyrac: We still need some more kids though.

Me: Not a problem. ::There is another knock at the door, and the entire children's chorus from Oliver! traipse in:: There! Sorted!

All: ::grudging admiration::

Grantaire: Question. Why Oliver?

Me: ::shrugs:: It's our school play and the first one that came into my head that has a large kids' chorus.

Grantaire: Fair 'nuff.

Me: So. Now that we're all here and settled, shall we begin?

Javert: No.

Me: It was a rhetorical question, Javvie.

Javert: Oh.

Me: Eponine? You're up!

Eponine: Fine. Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do

Before their time on this planet is through.

Fantine: Oh my god! I can actually identify with that!

Amis: Us too!

Eponine: Some just don't have anything planned.

They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand.

Valjean: ::cough:: Javert! ::cough::

Javert: Oh, you did not just –

Me: Behave!

Eponine: Now, I don't say who is wrong, who is right,

But if by chance you are here for the night

Then all I need is an hour or two

Bousset: Oh god! That long? Really?

Eponine: To tell the tale of a dreamer like you.

We all dream a lot

Javert: Speak for yourself.

Fantine: You don't dream?

Javert: Of course not. Dreaming gets you killed quicker.

Enjolras: You have no proof to support that claim, monsieur.

Javert: I outlived all you lot, didn't I?

Enjolras: ::is stumped::

Me: Guys!

Eponine: Some are lucky, some are not.

Fantine: You can say that again.

Eponine: But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real.

You are what you feel.

Courfeyrac: Um, I can feel a spider, so...?

Jehan: ARGH! SPIDER! ::jumps on Montparnasse's back::

Montparnasse: Get off me, you wuss!

Eponine: But all that I say

Can be told another way,

In the story of a boy whose dream came true,

And he could be you.

Me: Thank you, Eponine! That was lovely!

Eponine: ::blushing:: Thank you.

Me: Okay, Enjy, do your thing!

Enjolras: ::grumbles:: If I must... I closed my eyes,

Drew back the curtain

To see for certain

What I thought I knew.

Far far away,

Someone was weeping

But the world was sleeping.

Any dream will do.

Javert: Well, this song sure makes a lot of sense (!)

Combeferre: I think it's metaphorical...

Javert: ::muttering:: Show-off!

Me: Be quiet! Kids, get ready.

Enjolras: I wore my coat

Kids: ::The two shows are each trying to outdo the other, volume-wise:: I wore my coat!

Enjolras: With golden lining.

Kids: Ah-ah-ah!

Enjolras: Bright colours shining.

Kids: Ah-ah!

Enjolras: Wonderful and new.

Grantaire: That sounds familiar...

Bahorel: Indeed. Golden lining? Shiny? I'm actually beginning to wonder if this part was written to be performed by Enjolras.

Me: ::muttering:: Don't I wish!

Enjolras: And in the east,

Kids: And in the east!

Enjolras: The dawn was breaking.

Kids: Ah-ah-ah!

Enjolras: And the world was waking.

Kids: Ah-ah!

Enjolras, kids: Any dream will do.

Enjolras: A crash of drums, a flash of light!

My golden coat flew out of sight!

Enjolras, kids: The colours faded into darkness

Enjolras: I was left alone.

Grantaire: Poor old Enjy ::gives him a hug::

Enjolras: Get off me!

Me: Grantaire! Time and place! ::Grantaire lets go, grumbling::

Enjolras: May I return

Kids: May I return

Enjolras: To the beginning?

Kids: Ah-ah-ah!

Enjolras: The light is dimming.

Marius: Obvious game!

Me: ::under my breath:: Don't punch Marius, don't punch Marius...

Cosette: Why are you being so mean?

Me: Why is he being so annoying?

Marius: I said one thing—

Thenardier: One thing too many.

Enjolras: Ahem. Kind of in the middle of something here.

Me: Sorry, Enjy. Please continue.

Enjolras: Thank you. And the dream is too.

The world and I

Kids: The world and I!

Enjolras: We are still waiting. Oh, so the world's actually decided to join me now. About time!

Jehan: And only when it doesn't have to do anything...

Kids: Ah-ah-ah!

Enjolras: Still hesitating.

Jehan: Yep. That proves it.

Enjolras: That's it! My faith in humanity is officially destroyed! Lazy little—

Javert: ::points to rating:: K+! K+!

Valjean: Yes, we can see that.

Javert: Just making sure. I have a feeling it may be harder for some people to see than others...

Valjean: You know, Javert. I'm feeling tempted to see whether that rather OTT hat you're wearing will float when I've put a load of rocks in it!

Javert: ::jams hat onto his head:: No! Not my hat! ::He runs away and hides it in a dark corner::

Me: Hmm... Note to self – Means of controlling Javert, threaten his hat...

Navet: Gettin' bored here!

Artful Dodger: Can we get on wiv this?

Oliver: Please?

Me: Go on then.

Les Miz Kids: Ah-ah!

Charlie Bates: Oi! We weren't ready!

Navet: Should-a been quicker then!

Artful Dodger: Ya little—

Javert: ::points to rating:: K+!

Me: Okay!

Enjolras: Eight.

Me: Et tu, Brute?

Enjolras: ::shrugs::

Me: ::sigh:: Alright, we'll do that last bit again and you are all singing at the same time. ::glares at the Kids of both shows:: And... go!

Kids: Ah-ah-ah!

Me: Great! Moving on!

Enjolras: Any dream will do.

Les Miz Kids: Any dream

Oliver! Kids: Any dream will

Les Miz Kids: Any dream

Enjolras, Kids: Any dream will do.

Oliver! Kids: Any dream

Les Miz Kids: Any dream will

Oliver! Kids: Any dream

Enjolras, Kids: Any dream will do.

Me: And cut! ::All sigh with relief:: Okay, guys.

Combeferre: Nine.

Grantaire: I'll get the absinthe!

Me: I haven't got ten yet!

Grantaire: I believe in forward planning.

Me: ...Anyway, that's that for today. ::All cheer:: Next time, we're doing 'Jacob and Sons'/'Joseph's Coat'.

All: Oh joy.

Me: Now, try not to kill each other while I'm gone. ::leaves::

Fantine: Well that could have been worse.

Enjolras: I enjoyed it.

Eponine: Me too.

Thenardier: Yeah, cos you had stuff to do.

::There is suddenly a high pitched shriek from a certain Inspector::

Javert: My hat! My hat! Who's got my hat?

Dun-dun-duuuuuuun! Sigh. I can't leave them alone for five minutes, can I? Oh well, gives me an incentive to update. You know what else does? Yep. You guessed it. Cookies! And reviews. So please review. Even if you think this is a pile of (Javert: K+!); though, if that is your opinion, please do give con-crit cos flaming never helped anyone. Happy New Year everyone! :D