Summary
Calloused hands grasped around my arms causing my breath to become heavy and weak, his eyes emitting so much anger that it chilled me to the bone. He lowered his head slightly but in such a slow manner that it only intimidated me further. "I hate you," each word he uttered dripped with coldness, battering my heart.
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all yellow.
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into
Something beautiful,
Do you know,
You know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
'Cause you were all yellow.
Chapter 2
Stiles' POV
'I hate her', those were all the words I usually needed to calm myself down, to stop wishful thinking, to end my hopeful dreams, which all centred around Lydia Martin. The girl I had placed in the middle of my heart since 3rd grade, but I felt it everyday. Each time I avoided her gaze, something I use to pry out of her, wrenched a little more of my gut.
I needed her, but she didn't need me, that was how it had always been. That was how it was different with Malia, someone who was simple to understand, basic. Someone with respect for me, someone who depended on me, someone who welcomed my help.
But as much as I tried to remind myself of this monologue, I couldn't rid myself of the feelings I felt for Lydia, it only grew stronger with my avoidance. Every time I knew she wasn't looking I would stare endlessly at her face, filled with such sadness and depression each day, I thought perhaps if I just reminded her of every good thing that has ever happened in her life that maybe I would see that smile again, where her cheeks would pop out and her dimples would brighten her eyes.
I couldn't do that though, because I hated her. I knew I sounded like an idiot, but it wouldn't be good for us both, my obsessive nature only put her off and left me in the way I was in now. In the perfect world things would be different.
Today however wasn't like the days previously, it was strange and out of place, but I felt it, her. I could feel some sort of chemical reaction bubble in her mind when she sat down with us, something she hadn't done for the last 2 months. Her smile and positive attitude felt like she was mocking me, showing me how she couldn't care less of my own treatment of her. Even as it hurt, I knew there were some things that I couldn't stop, especially my care for her well being.
Every thing to do with her hurt, seeing her shiver 'hurt causing me to leave my jacket for her, but my weakness to my feelings hurt too. Her smile lifted my own emotions but it slapped my own being with the fact that she didn't need me. I just needed it to stop hurting, but every corner I turned I would see her sad pouty lips and her large doe eyes and if I didn't see her I felt myself panic, wondering if she was alright.
I dropped the book onto Scott's bed, I hadn't even been paying attention to it, it was just a distraction from Lydia, I couldn't look her way, it only hurt more. I itched to go after he as she ran away from the room, me. Scott entered the room setting whatever he had down on the table, looking at me with suspicion.
"What did you do?" he asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders at him, I honestly didn't know why she took off like that, all I knew was that she had stared at me for the whole duration Scott was gone. Scott threw me my jacket, looking at me.
"Dude, you need to talk to her," Scott informed me.
I stayed silent.
"Its not just her being weird, its you too, you're completely gone. You're whole personality has changed. You need her."
The end of his sentence angered me, it wasn't just me who noticed how much I needed her, it was him who saw it as well, even when I didn't even talk to her for 2 months. My fists took a handful of his bed sheets, twisting them with my fingers, releasing my anger.
"Cool it. I'm sick of your anger issues, do you have I.E.D too?"
"You don't get it!" I shouted, my voice so loud it vibrated his bed frame.
"What don't I get? That you're in love with her? That she is in love with you? That you two not being together crushes you two inside?" Scott howled back.
"She doesn't love me," I said quietly, my eyes looking down.
Scott stood up and slapped my arm. "You're one of the smartest guys I know, and you don't see it? How much she loves you? She went into fucking depression since you didn't talk to her. Have you seen her? She is wearing sweatpants, she never wear effing sweatpants! She doesn't stop gawking at you! Get it through your damn skull! Talk to her! You can't stand to see her sad or in any pain. I saw how you left your jacket for her because she was cold, you can't help it. When we all left, I saw her pick it up and smell it, Stiles, she smelt it! She misses you that much!" by the time he finished he had grown hair on the side of his face and his wolf side was out.
My head span, she smelt me?
"Dude, ARE YOU LISTENING!?"
"YES!" I roared back.
"THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"
"OKAY!"
We both calmed down, but he was still looking at me with disbelief.
"What?" I asked confused.
"NOW!"
"Oh right," I said getting up and grabbing my grey jacket. I left Scott's house, my heart beating, maybe she did like me.
I drove down the road, trying to plan what I was going to say, but the thoughts circling around my mind stopped me from formulating a clear thing. I could see Lydia's car driving almost maniacally, she was going to crash if she didn't slow down. I tried my hardest to keep up but she was going too fast.
'Slow down Lydia, please'
With my free hand I got my mobile phone, dialling her number, the only one I had ever memorised properly. My head looked up and down like a bobble head as I tried to pay attention to what I was typing and her car.
'Come on, Lyds pick up!'
The beeps rang before she finally picked up. "Lydia slow down," I said quietly into the phone, I didn't want to startle her.
"Its not me Stiles, its the voices, I don't know what they're doing," she sounded on the verge of tears.
I sped up my car, thanking God that the other lane was empty I skipped onto the other lane.
"Lydia are you able to jump out?"
"N-No."
I needed what I was about to do next to go perfectly or else both our lives were on the line. I swerved my own car in front of hers, the boot colliding with the front passenger seat, breaking her left hand side wheels and creating large craters in her car.
I pocketed my phone and ran to her.
Lydia's POV
'Slow down Lydia, please'
Another voice in my head, but this one was different, this one sounded like him, this one gave me comfort. I felt my pocket buzzing, I tried to get my fingers in my pocket but the voices wouldn't let me, how do I pick it up.
'Come on, Lyds pick up!'
It was that same voice in my head, I pressed my pocket up to my elbow hoping I somehow pressed the button.
"Lydia are you able to jump out?"
Stiles?
"N-No."
Just as I answered, I looked in the side view mirror, Stiles was there in his car, it wasn't fake. Before I knew it Stiles' car sped next to me in the other lane, hitting me in the side. My body jolted at the impact, the car shaking, but the voices stopped, they were gone. The constant rustle in my mind was silent, gone.
The car door opened Stiles' arms going under my knees and behind my back, picking me up bridal style, worry lines creasing his forehead. Was me getting hurt what it took for him to look at me?
"Stiles?" I called out as he walked us to his own jeep, which strayed from damage. He looked down at me, his eyes glimmering in the night.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"The voices stopped, their gone," I croaked. I lifted one hand to his skin, stroking his cheek to make sure he was there. He smiled down at me making my knees turn to jelly even though I wasn't standing up.
"That's great beautiful," he said, his minty warm breath fanning over me.
"You're talking to me?" I said in shock, my eyes widening a fraction.
"Yeah." He placed me at the back, leaning my head against a seat, strapping me in like I wore a straight jacket. He clambered into the front seat and drove.
"Stiles, can you talk? I missed your voice," I didn't create a filter in my mind, I didn't care, I was going to be 100% honest with him, but mostly because of the impact I knew I had to my head.
"What do you want me to talk about?"
"Us, me and you."
"There is nothing to say there," he stated almost reluctantly.
"Yes there is, there is a lot to say. Like, do you still hate me?"
He paused, it felt like a lifetime before he spoke.
"Yes."
My whole world shattered right then and there. My head began to hurt harder than when I had first hit it, I closed my eyes waiting for it to subside.
Stiles' POV
I lied. I'm a liar. I didn't imagine it going this way, I was meant to sweep her off her feet. We were both meant to declare our love for each other, but instead I said I hated her. I was too nervous to tell her the truth, tell her how much I loved her, too scared of being rejected, and now she lay strapped in my back seat thinking I hated her. I turned my head briefly, it looked as though she was passed out.
Was this how life was meant to work? Were we destined to be this way? I knew it was wrong, the way I felt about her, it was too strong to feel normal, I had Malia, I should be satisfied, but I wasn't. I couldn't keep my feelings for her a secret, because Scott knew, and if Scott knows that means Kira will know and then it will spread to the whole pack, and Malia would never forgive me, and nor should she.
I couldn't let that happen.
"Stiles, how did it go?"
"Scott, I realised we would never be together, everything I felt for her, it was just a crush, nothing more, I'm not in love with her. I love Malia."
Before he had the chance to reply I hung up on him, I wasn't a very good liar and I knew if I kept the conversation going he would have found out the truth of what had happened.
Author's note
I know it isn't very long, its like 1000 words off what it should be but I really couldn't think of anything to write. I know its not very good, I'm not exactly a writer, just a Stydia obsessed kid. Thanks for everyone who favourite, followed and reviewed, really appreciated it. I'm looking for a good Stydia fic, but I can't find any, can you guys recommend anything? Although I had a writer's block, I do have it all planned out, do you guys have any predictions? Do you guys ship Sterek too?
Sofia
xxxx
