Chapter Two: Troubles, Perverts and Jutsu!

Well after news of Naruto's perverted book got out the entire village was begging for copies. Well all the men and a few of the women were actually. Iruka was pissed that his son was a pervert but shrugged it off saying he was a boy and most boys are perverts. Sakura and Ino couldn't look each other in the face anymore without getting crimson blushes after seeing that picture that Naruto created. Hinata had been at the Hyuga compound tending to Neji who had several broken bones thanks to rabid fans. Shino had left with his father somewhere, Shikamaru was spending his days watching clouds with Choji who did nothing but eat. Lee was with Gai-Sensei, Tenten was working in her fathers shop. Kiba was training with Akamaru and finally Iruka was spending his days with his mystery friend who Naruto suspected was a lover.

As for Naruto well... he was currently running for his life. The Hokage said Naruto had not agreed to marry Hinata and now he was labeled as the most wanted guy in all of Leaf Village, next to Sasuke Uchiha and just below Itachi Uchiha. When he went out to go shopping today he did not expect for every girl and a few guys in the district to start chasing his ass. "SAVE ME KAMI! SAVE ME!" His voice shrieked as he dodged another fan girl before ducking into an alley. "COME BACK NARUTO-KUN WE JUST WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!" they screamed as they followed. "GET TO KNOW ME MY ASS YOU WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS THAT'S WHAT!" Naruto shouted back. Naruto summoned up some of his chakra and did his new favorite jutsu.

"MULTI SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

In a puff of smoke over ten Naruto's appeared with smirks on their faces. "Split up, drive them to the other ends of the village while I escape" the original commanded and the clones nodded before splitting up. Like moths to a flame the fan girls followed the clones and allowed Naruto to escape... again.

"Why is my life a nightmare? Is it so wrong to want to stay a virgin? Please Kami give me a sign" he asked the heavens. Nothing happened and he sighed. He took a step forward but tripped over something and fell flat on his face. "What the Hell!" He screamed into the dirt before turning to see what he tripped over. It was a book that he tripped over, a strange gold colored book. Curious Naruto picked the book up and went wide eyed at the cover.

"How to avoid becoming the target of Rabid Fans by Itachi Uchiha"

"There is a god after all" Naruto smiled before opening the book to start learning.

Somewhere way fucking far away...

Itachi sneezed loudly and all the members of Akatsuki starred at him. "What?" he said in a serious tone. "You just sneezed" Deidara pointed out. "Yes and?" Itachi replied. "You are human after all" Tobi smiled behind his mask though you really couldn't see it unless you were Kami which you aren't but you feel like one because you are reading a fan fiction and thus can know everything that is going on. "I swear I will find who ever is talking about me and give them a very horrible, painful death" Itachi voiced before vanishing in a whirl of leaves.

Back with Naruto...

"Why do I get the feeling someone is coming to give me a very horrible and painful death?" He questioned to himself before shrugging it off and started reading.

How to avoid rabid fans in five easy steps.

Step One: STOP LOOKING EMO!

Step Two: STOP ACTING EMO!

Step Three: STOP THINKING EMO!

Step Four: GO OUT WITH SOMEONE THAT IS EMO SO THEY DRAW THE ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOU!

Step Five: RUN LIKE HELL, MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY, JOIN A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION BENT ON RULING THE WORLD BY USING STRANGE AND UNUSUAL METHODS THAT WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE UNTIL AFTER YOU'VE READ THE MANGA AND WATCHED ALL OF THE ANIME AND FINALLY DO NOT ALLOW SASUKE UCHIHA TO OBTAIN THE INFORMATION IN THIS BOOK OR ALL WILL BE LOST, THE NARUTOVERSE WILL FALL APART AND THEN THE MANGA WILL NO LONGER MAKE ANY SENSE EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE ITS BEING RUINED BY ITS OWN CREATOR ANYWAY!

"That's it? If I do these things then the fans won't chase me anymore? YATTA!" Naruto cheered and threw the book in the air like a little kid. "Wait... who do I know is emo?" Naruto asked himself not seeing the raven haired man in the trees smacking himself in the face with his hand about how ignorant that blond was.

Sasuke smiled to himself as he watched the blonde fall flat on his face. He really was a dobe, a rather cute dobe but a dobe none the less. He was alone and unguarded now and he wasn't about to let this chance pass up. Hanging in a tree a few feet away he prepared to pounce the boy until he heard was his cute blonde dobe said.

"How to avoid becoming the target of Rabid Fans by Itachi Uchiha"

He snapped and tried to control himself from releasing any of his killing intent. Even more so when Naruto claimed there was a god after all, that really pissed him off. When he heard the easy steps needed to be taken he almost feel out of the tree, he always wondered why he had so many fan girls and now he knew why. BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING EMO DAMN IT!

Cursing himself silly Sasuke took off heading back to his house to follow the directions in the book. He would follow his brothers teachings and get rid of his annoying fan girls by not being emo no matter how long it took!

Somewhere really close by...

Itachi sneezed again. He was getting madder by the second now and itching to kill who was talking about him. He hoped it was his foolish little brother so he could enjoy beating him to a pulp but who ever it was would be screaming shortly. Upon reaching a clearing he stopped to find a young blonde male sitting in the dirt reading the book he wrote when he just 12 years old. He was beautiful, like an fallen angel from heaven that was begging to be saved. "More like begging to be ravished" he smiled. Just looking at the blonde made several pervert thoughts go through his mind.

"Wait who do I know is emo?" he heard the boy question and raised a eye brow. Then he noticed his foolish little brother hiding in the trees and smirked. "So you want him as well? Foolish little brother, I will enjoy taking him from you" he smiled before vanishing.

Naruto got chills; it was like people were planning to rape him or something. Getting to his feet and putting the book in one of his many pockets he set off to return to his apartment but the second he set foot outside the clearing he froze.

"THERE HE IS GET HIM!'

"Kuso kami why do you show me hope then rip it away?" he asked as he began running again from the fans.

Hyuga Complex...

He was angry, very angry. That blonde had evaded him of all people, it shouldn't have been possible. No one can resist Neji Hyuga, fate does not allow it! He was sure that adorable guy would beg to be taken to his bed chamber and ravished for hours on end, but apparently fate decided to intervene in the form of a pissed Hinata Hyuga. It was a good thing the Hyuga had skilled medical ninja or wouldn't be able to walk now. Currently he was in his chamber thinking of ways to capture the blonde so he could have his fun. Asking for Hinata's help was out of the question and he didn't even want to think of how her father would react if he found out.

Perhaps he should just simply confront Naruto and ask him out. Perhaps Naruto liked people that did that rather then chase his ass, smirking Neji quickly left the complex and headed into the village, it was time to find the little blonde.

Ramen Stand...

"I finally lost them" Naruto panted as he sat down on one of the empty stools. He wished he could rid himself of this dreadful curse of Kawaiiness and live a normal life sometimes. But for now he wouldn't think about that because he was hungry and ready for several hundred bowls of miso ramen. The owner of the stand saw Naruto sat down and instantly he thoughts one thing.

Naruto plus Hunger equals: I'm slightly richer!

He smiled to the blonde, "hey old man can I get a bowl of miso ramen please?" Naruto asked. "Coming right up Naruto-kun, and I assume you want me to keep them coming?" he asked getting a happy nod in return. "Perhaps I can take early retirement after all if this keeps up" he said with glee as he set about cooking the ramen.

Moments later the ramen was ready and Naruto began digging in when he felt a chill go down his spine. Gulping he slowly turned around to meet the pupiless eyes of Neji Hyuga and freaked. "Holy shit you scared me!" Naruto exclaimed. "I have that effect on people" Neji smirked and sat down next to him. "Your not going to try and rape me again are you?' Naruto said bluntly earning a gasp from people nearby. "No, I have learned fate will not allow me to have you in that sense. I have come here to request that you have dinner with me tonight" Neji said in his serious tone.

"If you think I'm setting foot in that compound again you got another thing coming" Naruto replied taking another bite of his ramen. "Not at the complex then, perhaps a restaurant here in the village where you feel more comfortable" Neji suggested. Naruto blinked, he had never had someone just ask him out before since they always chased his ass. Perhaps Neji wasn't as bad as Naruto thought he was. "Alright Neji I'll give you one chance and it's the only one your gonna get" Naruto smiled to the brunette. "I'll pick you up tonight at seven then" Neji got up and left, leaving the blonde to his own thoughts.

"Why do I get the feeling I just committed my own death?" he voiced.

Across from the stand...

Sasuke was pissed, that Hyuga had the nerve to just march right up to his dobe and ask him out. If it wasn't against the law Sasuke would have beaten Neji to death and then capture Naruto for his own. He wasn't about to let that good for nothing Hyuga get into the pants of his blonde, oh hell no. He'd follow them and make sure that date went horribly wrong and then when the blonde wasn't suspecting it he'd capture him for his one twisted pleasure.

Now when Neji took Naruto out for dinner he expected him to be a little stuck up prick like everyone thought he was. But nooooooo he just had to be a perfect gentleman and treat Naruto like he was some fairytale princess the entire meal. Not that he was complaining or anything, he liked this kind of treatment and coming from Neji was a plus in his book but they did encounter one tiny problem that night.

Sasuke Uchiha

That stuck up little emo prick had been following them all night long. This in turn caused Neji to be a little smug and showed it by usually hugging Naruto close to him, or some other small form of affection which Naruto enjoyed... a lot. It got out of control though when Sasuke challenged Neji in the middle of the street for Naruto's hand and a huge fight broke out, ending the date for him. Though Naruto was upset about the date ending too soon he was really surprised by Neji's efforts to control himself and found he enjoyed being in Neji's company more then others.

But now it was the next day and Naruto found out that going out with the Hyuga was having after effects he didn't want. Like people giving him glares as he walked down the street, or saying bad things behind his back when he wasn't around, rumors of him sleeping with Neji and cheating on Hinata. Oh and his favorite one was him corrupting the last Uchiha into liking him like some fan girl. When the Hokage found out he wasn't too pleased either. He wasn't mad at Naruto he was mad at Sasuke for being such a poor sport and ruining his date with Neji.

Well it was day two of spring break and Iruka still hadn't shown up at the house, Naruto was starting to get a little worried for his father figure. But not knowing where he was at there was very little Naruto could do. So today he decided to finish working on that new jutsu he had been testing, some man named Jiraiya had given the unfinished jutsu and said if he could complete it he would give the him personal training when he became a ninja. Needless to say Naruto had been neglecting his training since they met but now he was resolved to finish it.

Naruto took the scroll and went to a nearby park to practice; if he messed up he'd never be happy again with his progress as a ninja. Forming the correct hand seals Naruto channeled the right amount of chakra needed.

"Kawaii Kitsune Jutsu!"

A huge puff of smoke appeared and Naruto could feel his body shrinking and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Just when felt like he was going to pass out the pain stopped and the smoke cleared. 'How small did I get?' he thought as he ran over to a small lake to look at his reflection and what he saw shocked him.

He was now the size of a three year old and had little triangle fox ears on his head. His whisker marks were darkened and his eyes were slightly silted. He was still clad in his black T shirt and black shorts that had somehow shrunk with him and he had a cute little fox tail sticking out of his ass which wagged constantly. He could see he also had claw like fingernails now and a set of small fangs among his teeth. He was now a chibi kitsune version of himself.

"Whoa this is cool!" Naruto exclaimed and then froze. He didn't hear himself say that, all he heard were yipps and squeaks. He spoke fox now but he couldn't speak normally. He opened his mouth to scream but then his cute foxy ears picked up something, was that giggling? He question was soon answered when he spotted Hinata and Tenten coming out from behind the bushes.

"Awwwww look at the cutie! He looks just like Naruto-kun!" Tenten exclaimed picking up the blonde kitsune and giving it a hug. Hinata blushed seeing the chibi buried between Tenten's breasts and perverted thoughts started appearing. "Let's take him with us Tenten-chan, I'm sure he'll have fun going shopping with us" Hinata smiled, pushing those nasty thoughts away.

"Yeah we can buy him cute little outfits and use him to make guys jealous" Tenten smiled and passed Naruto to Hinata who pressed him close to her chest. "Let's call him Naru-chan since he looks like Naruto-kun" Hinata pointed out. "Sure come on Naru-chan let's go shopping!" Tenten exclaimed as she and Hinata carried Naruto away to his doom.

While this was going on a certain white haired man was sitting in a nearby tree laughing at the situation the blonde had gotten himself in while writing down notes. "It seems the jutsu works perfectly, no woman can resist the now chibified blonde and if he's lucky he'll get to experience something many men dream about" he giggled He thought for just a moment that he should rescue the poor kid but then remembered it was all in the name of research and sometimes you just had to take one for the team.

Naruto was scared, really scared. He was a chibi, couldn't talk normally, and the worst part was he was being forced to go shopping with girls who wanted to put him in cute little outfits! He decided right then and there that kami must be laughing at him up in heaven and that his fated to endure this horror. As they neared a local clothing store Naruto steeled himself and waited for the horrible things they were going to put him through.

Two Hours Later...

It was horrible; it was like something you'd see in a bad scary movie. Naruto was dressed in a skirt! A bright red skirt! If anyone saw him like this he'd be the laughing stock of the entire village. He was currently in front of a mirror with Tenten holding him while Hinata was searching for another outfit, there was no way he was walking out of her in a skirt, he'd rather die a horrible painful death then wear a skirt.

Other side of Village...

Itachi sneezed loudly catching the Anbu's attention. "Shit" he exclaimed and took off as they gave chase.

Back with Naru-chan...

Hinata appeared from the clothing racks with a familiar looking jacket and pair of blue pants. "Oh Hinata how cute they have a small version of your outfit!" Tenten cheered as she looked over the clothing. Naruto took on look at the outfit and reached his tiny little hands toward it, he'd rather wear Hinata's outfit then wear a skirt. "Oh look he really wants your Hinata, let's get this paid for and change him quickly" Tenten smiled as she went to pay while Hinata took Naruto to the changing room.

Moments later...

Ok so now he was a chibi kitsune Naruto dressed as Hinata and was being carried away towards another horrible spot. The Bath House!

Naruto plus Naked Girls equals what?

Pervertedness!

"SOOO CUUUTE!" Naruto's blood ran cold as he looked up to see Sakura, Ino, Anko, and Tsunade standing at the doorway in nothing but towels. Before he could run, he was glomped and taken into the bath house by Hinata, yipping the entire way. He and watched as the door to the outside world slowly closed, shutting him in with the scantily-clad women.

The next thing he knew, he was laying with his back on a table, looking up into the faces of the smiling women. "Ok! Now lets get these clothes off of you so that you can bathe with us Naru-chan" Tenten voiced as the others held him down and began to undress him, tickling his tummy and causing him to giggle uncontrollably as soon as they got his jacket and shirt off. As soon as they got him down to his boxers, Hinata picked him up and they walked into the hot springs, dropping their towels as they did so. As soon as they did and Naruto got a good look, blood started spurting from his nose, which he gabbed with both of his hands in a attempt to get it to stop.

"AWWW! How precious! He's a little pervert!" Tenten squealed as the others started giggling.

Hinata was holding Naruto laughed as well, holding him between her breasts. "You're such a cute little thing! Ok Naru-chan, come and we'll get you cleaned up." Ino cooed, taking Naruto from Hinata into the bathing area. A few hours later, using all of his ninja training, Naruto barely managed to escape, after flooding the hot springs with Chibi Kitsune Naruto shadow clones.

Panting a bit Naruto's ears picked up faint perverted giggling and he looked up to see that perverted sick bastard Jiraiya writing in a notebook. Pissed off he marched right up to him and slashed at him with his tiny claws. "OWWW damn it that hurt! You got a lot of nerve to attack me the great... oh its just you" he exclaimed seeing the kitsune blonde with a pissed off look on his face. "I guess you want me to reverse the jutsu you cast right?" Jiraiya asked, seeing the blonde nod. "I suppose I should but first things first" he smiled picking him up by the back of his neck and smirking at him. "This is pay back for slashing me" he spoke before throwing Naruto off the hill and into the hot spring below.

"NARU-CHAN IS BACK!" Ino screamed and soon the sounds of yipps filled the air as Naruto tried in vain to escape the naked girls but failed at the moment cause he was out of chakra and had to endure the evilness of the naked girls that constantly made perverted gestures about him.