"I have called you all here today to make an important announcement," said Admiral Komack, glancing at the faces around the table before him. They were in one of the many Starfleet meeting rooms. Nine pairs of eyes stared back at him, some curious, some knowing. Leonard McCoy was the only exception. The only mood he conveyed was 'mega-pissed-off-also-hungover-and-sleep-deprived-and-about-to-murder-somebody-if-I-don't-drink-at-least-five-cups-of-coffee-right-now'. Everyone had picked up on this, and were doing their level best to not provoke the doctor any further.
"So I'm just going to come out and say it," Komack continued. "Each of you are going to mentor a teenage apprentice."
The reactions around the room ranged from shocked, to surprised, to delighted, to 'mega-pissed-off-also-hungover-and-sleep-deprived-and-about-to-murder-somebody-if-I-don't-drink-at-least-five-cups-of-coffee-right-now'. No prizes for guessing who that last one was from.
"Is that why I kept getting sent all those medical records?!" growled Dr. McCoy.
Jim nodded and took another bite of an apple he'd apparently plucked out of thin air.
Leonard, on the other hand, looked as though he wanted to strangle the young captain. "You woke me up! I was hungover and looking forward to getting a full night's sleep for once!"
Jim shrugged and continued to crunch the seemingly ubiquitous apple. "That's how you know you're getting old," he smirked. "When your only form of entertainment involves getting a 'full night's -"
McCoy whacked Jim on the shoulder with the data PADD in front of him. Kirk punched the doctor in the stomach.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," chided Admiral Pike. Bones and Jim stopped immediately, even having the good grace to look abashed.
"As I was saying," Komack went on, "You will each have the opportunity to mentor a teenage apprentice. Each of these teenagers excel in a certain field of work similar to your own. We have used their academic scores to gain a better understanding of which of you to pair them with as a mentor."
Excited murmuring filled the room until Chris cleared his throat. Everyone fell silent immediately.
"You'll all be introduced to your apprentices on Wednesday morning. You will spend the whole day with them in an attempt to get to know them better. You could go see a movie, show them round the Enterprise, take them out for lunch, anything. Just be sure to have them back at the Academy in this very same room by 1800 hours to attend a briefing. An email will be sent to all of you which will include further details about the mentoring program."
Admiral Komack spoke up again. "Wednesday's not tomorrow, but the next day. I trust that Dr. McCoy will send you all the medical records of each of your respective apprentices. The last thing you want is to take your apprentice out for lunch on Wednesday and have them experience an allergic reaction to their meal."
"Pretty sure the apprentices are old enough to know what they can and can't eat," said Pike, glancing at Komack. "But still, it wouldn't hurt to acquaint yourselves with any medical conditions your apprentice may suffer from."
"Good point," agreed McCoy. "You can never be too careful. Take Jim, for instance."
Everyone was silent as they remembered Jim's reaction to a simple peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich he'd consumed earlier the week before. Now that was an image nobody was going to be forgetting anytime soon.
"Anyway," said Chris, breaking the thoughtful silence. "Read up on those apprentices of yours. And start coming up with some ideas of what you're going to do on Wednesday." He glanced at Komack, and both admirals simultaneously rose and saluted the rest of the room. The crew stood and sharply saluted their superior officers. Pike looked back over his shoulder.
"Dismissed."
Scotty left the room with the rest of the crew. On his way to Engineering, he wondered exactly what the hell he was going to do on Wednesday. Take his apprentice to a movie? Oh hell no. That'd seem like a date or something, wouldn't it? Then everyone would think of him as a pervert! It would be even worse if he had to mentor a girl. Scotty sincerely hoped he'd have a male apprentice, as that would make conversations a lot less awkward.
Chekov left the briefing room with Sulu, dancing a little with joy. Sulu glanced over at his young friend. "You seem excited," he commented.
"I cannot help eet, Heekaru," the young Russian bubbled. "Vhat should I do on Vednesday?"
"Movie?" suggested Hikaru. That seemed like the easiest option.
"Yes, vell, everyone vill be doing zhat," sighed Chekov.
"Well, then, go with that option. Seems like your best bet," Sulu shrugged as they turned into another corridor.
"Yes, zhat seems like a good idea," agreed Chekov, but his thoughts ventured towards a day of minigolf or perhaps even a theme park.
Uhura was in her quarters, trying to rest, as she had a night shift coming up soon. But she found she just couldn't sleep. Her head was buzzing as she processed the meeting. Eventually, Uhura gave up on the idea of sleep, got a hot chocolate from the replicator, opened up her apprentice's medical file on her PADD (McCoy had stayed true to his word), and began to brainstorm ideas for Wednesday.
Kirk was humming and snapping his fingers as he walked. But the young captain's chipper mood had no effect on McCoy, other than to annoy the hell out of the doctor. Jim was halfway through his third rendition of 'Walking On Sunshine' before McCoy snapped.
"Shut the hell up! My headache's bad enough already without your idiotic humming and insanely good mood making it even worse!"
Kirk looked like a kicked puppy. For about a second or two. Then he perked up again.
"Fine then. Wow, you're like a male version of Wednesday Addams. Are you on your period or something?"
McCoy punched Kirk in the stomach.
From his position on the floor, Kirk managed to gasp, "Yup. Definitely on his period."
A well-aimed kick from the irate Southerner soon shut the blonde up for a while.
Spock paced purposefully down the corridors to the turbolift. Once inside the lift, he allowed himself to ponder the meeting that had just taken place. A chime from the door signalled that the turbolift had reached its destination. Spock stepped out and turned sharply on his heel down the corridor. Once inside his quarters, Spock sat down cross-legged on a flat cushion, lit some scented candles, and relaxed. Some meditative Vulcan music soon soothed him. Spock turned his thoughts towards what he was going to do on Wednesday to acquaint himself with his apprentice.
"Bones. Bones. Boooooonnnnneesssss. Bonesey."
"Don't you dare call me that."
"Sorry, Bonesey. Didn't mean to, Bonesey."
A glare from McCoy.
"So have you figured out what you're doing on Wednesday yet?" Jim leapt onto the couch, drawing his knees up to his chest in one smooth movement.
"No. I'll probably just show her around Medbay."
Jim stuck out his bottom lip. "Booorrring."
"Well, I'm not here to entertain her. I'm here to expand her knowledge of medicine and anatomical sciences."
Jim sat up, a sly look in his eyes. "Now you sound like Spock."
McCoy sighed. "It's almost like you're asking for me to hypo your neck."
Jim hurriedly moved two seats away from his friend. The sight out of the Observation Deck's vast windows momentarily distracted him from his hasty escape.
"Look at that, Bones. We get to explore all that, and more."
McCoy stared at the swirling nebula. "I guess it looks pretty. And it's safe. From where we're sitting, anyway."
"I want to go out there, Bones. I want to keep exploring forever. Some of the things we've seen so far have been amazing, and we're not even halfway into our five-year mission yet."
McCoy sighed inwardly. Jim was in one of his philosophical moods again. Then another thought occurred to him. "Jim, why'd ya change the subject? What's going on?"
Jim said nothing.
"You're not jealous, are you? That everyone except you has an apprentice?"
Jim stayed silent, but looked away.
"Oh wow, you are jealous! Look, if it's any consolation, at least you don't have to hang out with a moody teenager, all day, every day. You get to just float around and talk to any of them, whenever you want, or not at all. I'm stuck with one all the time, whether I like it or not."
Jim seemed comforted, but not much.
"But what am I gonna do on Wednesday?"
"Whatever you want."
"But I'll be all alone! And that's boooorringgg..."
"Jim, need I remind you that you're a grown man now? Even if you don't ever act like it. So you're going to be alone for one day. Deal with it."
Jim huffed and folded his arms.
"But we'll still get Chinese takeaway on Wednesday night, right?"
('Chinese takeaway' was their code for 'go out and get hideously drunk before watching reruns of Happy Days until midnight'.)
"Sure, I could do with some Chinese takeaway."
Jim fell backwards off the sofa, overjoyed.
"Bones?"
"Hmmm, kid?"
"Do you think this whole 'mentoring program' thing will be a success?"
"Don't know, Jim. Guess we'll find out soon enough, though."
